Malphegor
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HSU: Ch. 282
🕑 Added 2025-05-30 23:22:53 +0000 UTCInterrupted mid-thought, Black Zetsu looked up in displeasure. "I remember you. I might forget anyone, but not you."
"Huh?" Muzo blinked in surprise. "You used to look so aloof, turns out you had this kind of personality?"
"What personality?" Black Zetsu was puzzled too. "And since when was I ever aloof?"
Having determined that Muzo and Masashi were the same person, he no longer bothered to hide anything.
As for Tsunade, not worth hiding anything from. She wasn't even worthy of concealment.
"How can you not… forget it, this is getting convoluted." Muzo plopped down on the sofa unceremoniously and then waved vigorously at Tsunade. "Come here, sit here! It's soft!"
"...It's fine. You sit by yourself."
"Tsunade, I gotta say something, you remember what I told you about what makes a good ninja?"
Tsunade felt a bit like complaining. Back then she was just a kid and had run up to ask Muzo how to become a good ninja. Looking back, she probably shouldn't have asked him, of all people.
"You see? You obviously didn't do what I said, which is why you've had so many heartbreaks." Muzo patted the seat next to him. "Gotta learn your lessons. Come on, listen to me, sit down!"
Tsunade had no choice but to walk around the table and sit down next to Muzo. Her well-endowed chest heaved noticeably, showing exactly how unnecessary she thought all of this was.
This scene, potentially fatal for a pervy old man, left Masashi completely unfazed.
Not because he wasn't pervy. But he was pervy, not a degenerate. Who would have impure thoughts about their own kid? You'd have to be brain-damaged.
He'd seen Tsunade running around bare-bottomed as a toddler. All he felt was how fast kids grow up.
He thought for a moment, he vaguely remembered still having some liquor at home. It was from last time, when Saeko entered the Ninja Academy. A few of the guys got together to celebrate, and Tetsuka had brought some. They never opened it.
After all, drinking wasn't allowed at home. And once they were out, no one felt like drinking what they brought themselves.
How convenient, huh?
"I think I've still got some liquor. I'll go look," He said, and went off in search of the booze.
Tsunade liking to drink, in his eyes, wasn't a bad habit at all. Ordinary folks getting hooked on alcohol? Sure, that was bad. But ninja?
As long as you've got chakra, anything goes. Years of drinking damage can't even compare to the toll from just one serious chakra depletion. The only thing a ninja needs to watch out for when drinking, don't get so wasted that someone can take your head while you sleep.
But taking Tsunade's head… That girl was sharp as hell.
Opening the fridge, he was pleased to find the liquor was still there, unopened. It was premium stuff Tetsuka had gone out of his way to get.
But Pakura liked to drink too, and especially enjoyed boozing up at night, so much that when she got tipsy, she'd want to exercise.
That just wasn't scientifically sound.
He had always thought alcohol was for getting tipsy, faking being drunk, and then getting frisky. But Pakura? She'd get totally wasted and still be ready to exercise.
Guess desert girls were just built different. Before it got mistaken as some kind of flirting drink, better just finish it off.
He took out the liquor and grabbed a cup. Honestly, he felt the cup was a bit unnecessary. After all… Who else was going to drink it besides Tsunade? Him? Black Zetsu?
Or Muzo?
Carrying the liquor and cup, he returned to the living room and saw that Muzo was having a rather "lively" chat with Black Zetsu.
Tsunade, meanwhile, was looking at the two of them with a suspicious expression. She had the sense that what they were saying wasn't meant to be taken at face value.
When Black Zetsu saw Masashi finally return, he immediately shot him a resentful look.
That look left Masashi totally confused.
"I know you're not a tea drinker. Try this instead." He didn't overthink it for now and placed the liquor and cup in front of Tsunade.
Then he sat down on the other side of the table. The atmosphere in the room felt a bit strange, but it wasn't a big deal, probably just Muzo probing Black Zetsu.
"This is my good friend, Black Zetsu. Although he was brought into this world by Madara's power, don't mistake him for anyone's subordinate." Masashi figured if he was going to act, he might as well see how his current self measured up to his "round-one self." "You know him?"
"…"
Damn it, this guy… what he said just now actually moved him a little. Now how was him supposed to stay mad?
He just wanted to say, his friend's past life pissed him off, so he wanted to scold his friend's current life. But now this current friend was going out of his way to make sure others respected him. In that case, what was he supposed to do?
Get mad!
Black Zetsu picked up a single peanut, deciding to make a small concession and eat one.
Just one.
It was purely curiosity, what would happen if he ate something? It had nothing to do with what Masashi said earlier about him not being anyone's subordinate.
He wasn't the kind of cheap character you could coax with a few kind words!
"Oh, I know him, of course I know him," Muzo said with a wide grin. "Old acquaintance, right?" He was looking at Black Zetsu as he said this.
Black Zetsu ignored him, focusing on studying the peanut.
"Don't bother staring. Your mouth is just some extruded shape, you don't even have a stomach," Muzo said, looking at Black Zetsu, who shot him a cold glare and decided, for his own peace of mind, to treat the guy in front of him and Masashi as two completely separate people.
Mouth open, peanut popped in, swallowed.
Muzo stared in a daze.
He couldn't help but wonder, this thing didn't even have a butt. After it swallowed the peanut, how would it process it? Spit it out somewhere else?
Was this some kind of literal single-celled organism simulation?
On the other side, Tsunade's eyes lit up the moment she saw the liquor. She reached out and grabbed it without hesitation.
Even though she no longer bore the Senju surname, she'd still been raised by the legitimate Senju clan, and had proper manners. Especially when facing someone from the Uchiha.
"Why did you only bring one cup?" she asked politely. "How about we share a few drinks?"
A veteran of countless drinking sessions, she recognized this liquor in a single glance, it was the good stuff. She loved her drink and knew her drink. She just wasn't one to initiate. But when faced with fine liquor, especially when offered by the host, she'd give it the respect it deserved.
"Sure thing. I'll go grab another." Masashi noticed the fighting spirit in her eyes and couldn't help but smile. He went back and brought another cup.
Tsunade opened the bottle and poured a small amount into each cup, then handed one to Masashi.
The two clinked their cups and drank in one go.
The liquor was excellent, and strong, just the way she liked it.
Strong liquor down the throat, a life without sorrow.
After a few cups of liquor, the atmosphere finally started to feel normal. Even Muzo and Black Zetsu felt oddly festive.
Muzo couldn't help but eat a few peanuts himself. Then he remembered he was reanimated and had no sense of taste. Instantly, he became quite melancholy.
Black Zetsu, on the other hand, thought, You'd have to be ten-plus years into brain damage to do something like that.
"Did your brain get reanimated too?" he asked. "You can even taste things?"
"What, so you can eat but I can't?" Muzo, seeing Black Zetsu jab at him, immediately stopped feeling down. "Come on then, describe it for me, what does it taste like?"
"It's sweet," said Black Zetsu, unwilling to back down, and just guessed.
Taste was subjective anyway, if he said it was sweet and sounded convincing, who was to say it wasn't?
"They still have salt on them." Muzo said.
Damn fool, can't even taste and still wants to act clever. Really going to open your mouth and wing it? Salt is sweet? Since when? And this ain't even your house.
He figured this was the kind of behavior you got from plotting and scheming too long, completely detached from the people.
Didn't even know that salt was salty.
Turning his head, he saw that Tsunade and Masashi had already clinked glasses several times.
Tsunade usually drank with a bold, carefree style, but today's liquor was high-end stuff, so she'd adjusted her approach.
No more chugging, it was refined sipping now.
Mainly because, while she herself didn't care much, she couldn't afford to look uncultured in front of an Uchiha.
"Have you ever thought about returning to the village?" Masashi asked.
In the original timeline, Tsunade returned to take up the role of Fifth Hokage after Hiruzen's death.
"This village doesn't lack a medical-nin," Tsunade said. Even sipping fine liquor, her tone still carried a boldness others didn't have.
The strong drink was starting to take effect, her cheeks were flushing red. Even her chest seemed to puff up a little.
"Besides, aren't you all about to go to war? Shouldn't you be more concerned about Orochimaru than me?"
"Orochimaru, huh…" Masashi smiled.
Speaking of Orochimaru, he'd only made a brief appearance in this incident and then vanished.
As for Nagato, although members of Akatsuki had shown up, Nagato and everyone representing Ame hadn't openly declared opposition to Konoha. Because of that, Ame's unique position meant Konoha couldn't just act against him freely.
Back then, Hanzō was notorious for switching allegiances based on who fed him, but since he hadn't outright opposed Konoha, he became an important ally in the western front during the Third Great Ninja War. As a result, Hiruzen and Danzō chose to back Hanzō and eliminate Yahiko, who had noble ideals and was genuinely a good person. But what he did didn't fit the shinobi world's ecosystem. If Akatsuki took over the Land of Rain, they could easily become enemies of Konoha.
What Hiruzen wanted wasn't a pacifist Ame, but an Ame that stood with Konoha and would help kill for Konoha.
No strength, always flip-flopping, then neither side would trust you. But if you had strength, you could flip-flop all you want, and no one called you a traitor.
Strength granted bargaining power.
Hanzō could bargain. So could Nagato. And Orochimaru as well.
In recent years, Yu had become more and more of a joke, even worse than right after the Third Great Ninja War ended.
Oto, on the other hand, had established a solid foothold in the Land of Rice Fields, and naturally entered the strategic chessboard of the major powers. As long as Orochimaru didn't publicly declare himself the leader of Oto, no one would take the initiative to expose it.
"Forget it," Masashi lifted his cup in a toast. "To you."
Tsunade clinked glasses boldly, then downed it in one go.
Muzo, watching from the side for a while, figured things had reached the right point. Seeing her like this, he thought, Just a few more drinks and she'll start floating.
Don't ask how he knew.
It was the exact same look Hashirama had when drinking. The gestures, the expressions, they were practically synchronized.
So, he stopped messing with Black Zetsu and got down to business.
"Ahem..." he coughed, pretending to be serious.
"Even reanimated corpses need to clear their throat?" Black Zetsu, who had been teased for ages, wasn't about to let a chance to snipe back slip by. "Why didn't you summon yourself with a full banquet ready?"
Muzo ignored him, turned to Masashi, and asked, "You know my identity already. That said, how much do you know about your own family line?"
Masashi pretended not to understand. What others were thinking, you had to guess and analyze. But what you were thinking, that should be crystal clear.
Back in the day, watching Tsunade grow up, so innocent and carefree, he had definitely thought about what might happen when he and the others were gone. Would she end up like in the original timeline? Was there anything that could change that?
That included the possibility that he might be reanimated someday.
As soon as this conversation started, he knew exactly what the other was getting at. This wasn't a topic he could follow up on.
"Talking about bloodlines and clans... that's not really my kind of small talk," said Masashi, sounding like he'd traveled back to his pre-marriage days. "You don't bring that up over drinks. C'mon, let's toast again."
"Sure," Tsunade replied, clearly pleased. After half a bottle of fine liquor, she found Masashi quite agreeable.
And he even knew how to do drinking games. Not many people could drink so smoothly with her. Let alone an Uchiha, made it all the more refreshing.
Still, she was intrigued by what Muzo had said. He was a man of the Warring States period, people from that era didn't ask questions like that lightly.
Since the drink was hitting just right, she decided to gently nudge the point.
"Masashi, he wouldn't ask something like that without a reason," Tsunade said. "Is there something... unusual about your family?"
"Nothing unusual at all. If I had to name something odd, maybe it's that I'm the only ninja in three generations of my family."
In a ninja clan, having only one ninja born in three generations was fairly rare.
"When you say that, it kind of breaks my heart," Muzo said, shaking his head as if he were the one drinking. "Wasn't your great-grandmother named Aoi?"
I knew it.
Too bad, you were too hasty.
"Nope, no one in my family had that name," Masashi shook his head.
