Malphegor
patreon
MCIM Ch. 57
🕑 Added 2025-10-17 16:47:40 +0000 UTCMario had barely been inside the RV for ten seconds when the door exploded inward with a BANG that rattled the whole vehicle.
Thor burst through like a man who'd just caught his wife cheating. His eyes locked onto Mario.
"Where. Is. My. Hammer?"
Mario blinked innocently.
"Funny thing about that, there's no name engraved on it."
He pulled Mjolnir from his inventory, turning it over to examine the patterns on its surface. "Tell you what, since you're so sure it's yours, why don't you call it? See if it comes running."
Thor hadn't actually seen Mario steal the hammer earlier, so he'd assumed it had simply fallen here during his breakdown.
He stretched out his hand. "MJOLNIR!"
The hammer didn't even twitch.
"Mjolnir..." He sounded like a man watching his girlfriend walk away with another man. "Please..."
Mario deliberately opened both hands, showing he wasn't controlling the hammer in any way.
"Thor Odinson, God of Thunder. You're claiming this is your hammer, but you should probably have some evidence to back that up. Or do the gods of Asgard not believe in burden of proof?"
He flipped Mjolnir, spinning it twice before tucking it back into his inventory.
Looking at Thor's expression, he turned to Jane, who was watching with concern. "Maybe make him some coffee? Looks like he's going to need a minute to process his feelings."
He pulled out his wand and tapped a nearby chair. It levitated smoothly across the room and settled opposite his seat.
Tap tap tap.
He drummed his fingers on the table. Then he flashed his most friendly, trustworthy smile.
"Thor, I'd like to discuss something with you. Something concerning Asgard... and your hammer."
Hearing his name finally jolted Thor back. For the first time since entering, he actually looked at Mario. Back at the diner and even arriving at the camp, he hadn't paid him any attention. Despite being stripped of his powers and exiled, the pride of a god wasn't something that disappeared overnight.
Mario had been wallpaper to him. Background noise. Not worth noticing.
But that chair trick had changed the equation. The display of magic meant he was a sorcerer, and even in Asgard, sorcerer commanded respect. His own mother was a powerful sorceress, after all.
He sat down heavily across from Mario.
"What do you want to discuss?"
Mario stopped drumming his fingers. He loved this.
"Simple question first: do you want your hammer back?"
Thor knew Mario was up to something, but he nodded anyway.
"Excellent. Then let's talk compensation. You fell from the sky, and this hammer fell from the sky. You crashed into dirt. This hammer crashed into me."
Thor's eyes widened as he looked Mario up and down, suddenly remembering that the area where Mjolnir landed hadn't shown any damage. Which meant the hammer hadn't originally fallen there.
"But you..."
Thor stared at Mario's relatively normal build, trying to imagine Mjolnir falling through the Bifrost and pancaking this mortal.
"Don't bother. Truth is, it appeared too suddenly. I was distracted, reacted too late, and almost got killed. Now, since you're claiming ownership of the weapon used in the attempted murder, let's discuss reparations."
Jane chose that moment to arrive with five cups of coffee, setting them on the table.
Mario thanked her politely, took a sip, and found it surprisingly decent. Thor ignored his coffee entirely.
"What do you want?"
"I want Asgardian technology and materials. Not your latest stuff, your obsolete, discarded items will do fine. Also, I want the remains of the Destroyer armor. Agree to these terms, and I'll forgive your attempted manslaughter, return your hammer, and even tell you how to regain its recognition."
Thor fell into deep thought. Not because Mario's demands seemed excessive, quite the opposite. To him, Mario was asking for nothing. Asgard's trash in exchange for Mjolnir? That was a steal!
The only complication was the Destroyer armor fragments. That was something he couldn't access right now.
After several minutes, he spoke hesitantly. "Right now I'm exiled by my father. I don't know when I'll be able to return—"
Mario stood up, waving dismissively. "That's my risk to take. As long as you agree to the terms, even if you can't return to Asgard, I'll still give you back the hammer. And if you're interested, I'd like to discuss a few other matters. Consider them... welcome gifts."
Thor nodded and stood as well, following Mario to another room for a private conversation.
The group chatted casually in the main area of the RV while Thor sat alone in a side room, staring at Mjolnir resting on the floor where Mario had placed it.
He lifted his beer and drained half of it in one go.
That's when a figure materialized before him, his younger brother, Loki, dressed in a sharp suit that looked completely out of place in the middle of the New Mexico desert.
He set his cup down. "You're here, Loki."
Loki was momentarily thrown but recovered quickly. "Yes. I had to see you."
Thor glanced at him. "What's happened? Has something gone wrong in Asgard?"
"Father is dead."
Thor's expression froze. It was exactly as Mario had predicted. But instead of despair, his eyes filled with... pity?
Loki pretended to struggle with grief, but internally he was panicking.
This isn't right. Why is he looking at me like that after hearing Father died?
But he'd committed to the lie. No choice but to push forward.
"Your exile, the threat of war... the burden was too much for him. Don't blame yourself. I know you loved him. I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen."
The pity in Thor's eyes deepened, nearly breaking Loki's composure entirely.
"Knowing you can't lift Mjolnir, yet leaving it right before you... that was cruel. The throne has fallen to my shoulders now."
Loki paused, waiting for Thor's plea to return home or his offer to challenge the succession. Instead, Thor stood and embraced him
"My brother, I leave Asgard in your hands. I'll atone for everything I've done."
Then he sat back down, drained his beer, and pulled another can from under the table.
What.
Loki couldn't maintain his mask anymore. "Don't you want to come home?"
Thor shook his head. "No. I need to take responsibility for my actions. Father stripped me of my power and exiled me here. Until I earn Mjolnir's recognition, I won't leave."
Loki stared at his brother, feeling like something was wrong but unable to identify what. He swallowed the additional lies he'd prepared. Instead, he simply said, "Then I'll return first. There's much to handle in Asgard."
Thor said nothing, just grabbed another beer and kept drinking.
Loki looked at his brother one last time, then vanished.
But he didn't leave immediately. He waited several minutes, watching Thor drown himself in alcohol and self-pity. Then he walked over to Mjolnir and tried to lift it.
Seeing that the hammer remained unresponsive, he finally left.
Mario, who'd been monitoring through his mini-map, watched the white dot disappear and smiled. He didn't go find Thor immediately. Everything was proceeding exactly as planned.
---
The next morning, warm sunlight streamed through the window into Mario's room.
The moment he opened his eyes, he saw Thor sitting in his room. He scrambled out of bed, instinctively checked that his clothes were still intact, breathed a silent sigh of relief, then looked at Thor.
"What the hell are you doing in my room? Shouldn't you be seeking comfort from Jane?"
Thor didn't rise to the bait. Seeing Mario was awake, he stood. "Loki... is he really not my blood brother?"
Shouldn't you be asking about your father first? If he knew you were this focused on your brother, he'd regret not dropping you on your head as a baby.
"Loki came to see me last night. Everything was exactly as you said. Even the words he used were nearly the same."
Mario stood up from bed and gave Thor a look. "Whether he's a Frost Giant or Asgardian doesn't change anything. Your feelings for him are real."
As he said it, he couldn't help but remember female Loki from alternate timelines. If Loki ever becomes a woman, Thor's doomed.
"Stop moping. The Warriors Three and your old flame Sif will be here soon with news from Asgard. When you finally understand what sacrifice and protection mean, you'll be able to lift Mjolnir again. And don't forget our deal, or I guarantee you'll never see your hammer."
I'll just keep it in my inventory. Good luck summoning it from there.
Thor nodded. He opened the door and walked outside. The previous night's storm had left almost no trace, the ground looked like it hadn't rained at all.
Coulson was outside with a cheerful expression, preparing breakfast for everyone. This was one of his rare days off.
Hearing the door open, he looked up. "Breakfast's ready. Come grab some."
Mario nodded, walked over, and snatched a sandwich from the table, taking a huge bite.
"Not bad. You should open a food truck."
He spotted Steve doing laps around the camp and couldn't help admiring the his discipline. Guy probably does push-ups in his sleep.
Soon everyone emerged from their rooms.
Then, without warning, swirling clouds appeared in the sky, forming a shape like a massive tornado.
Selvig saw the phenomenon and immediately dropped his sandwich. He sprinted toward the RV where their equipment was set up, with Jane and Darcy scrambling after him.
Mario looked at the beam of light descending from the sky, and turned to Ivan beside him. "Everything ready on your end? Our guests are arriving."
"We're prepared to welcome them properly."
Mario nodded and squinted at the spot where the Bifrost was touching down. Four figures were walking straight toward them. They'd obviously used some special method to locate Thor's position.
"The Warriors Three and Lady Sif. Which means the Destroyer should be next."
