Infamous Goose
patreon
3:11 Birds and Wrenches
🕑 Added 2025-08-24 08:39:16 +0000 UTCI haven't had a chapter fight me this hard in a long time. Enjoy! Also, bit of a retcon last chapter. I didn't like how big I made the soul,
I haven't had a chapter fight me this hard in a long time. Enjoy!
Also, bit of a retcon last chapter. I didn't like how big I made the soul, so I shrunk it a bit. Minor change.
***
The skies were dark above Cradle, but they wouldn’t be for long. A little bird sat in the branches of a tree, fire flickering about her feathers, her beak opening and closing slowly. This was it. This was the day she had waited for, for so long. With dramatic slowness her wings spread, embers falling from beneath them to dust the branch below. Storm clouds gathered above in anticipation of her ascension; the trial this time was bigger, and stronger now than ever. Already her qi was nearly to the Immortal stage – a name she had learned by listening to the Fae – and with it, her mind had risen as well.
Now was not the time to ascend to immortality, however. It was merely another trial, this time of the flesh. She couldn’t just be the most powerful thing in the sky, she had to be the strongest as well. Her pride would allow nothing less.
Thunder boomed, lightning crackling in the skies above, and Solana screeched out her challenge.
That was the name she had chosen for herself. She didn’t remember when she’d heard the word, but it felt familiar and right. So she’d stuck with it.
And the Heavenly Tribulation descended.
The tree she rested upon was immediately reduced to naught but kindling, a horrifically white light searing her eyes. She dared not use qi to protect herself, the searing heat and pain of Heaven’s Lightning coursing through her blood and hollow bones. She let it. Pain spasmed her limbs, trying to keep her from taking off, to fall to the earth with the remains of her tree.
Solana spread her wings, keeping her qi tight in her breast, forcing through the pain as she shot into the sky on wings of fire. Lightning struck again, its roar drowning out her agonized shriek even as her wings refused to stop flapping, raw stubbornness keeping her airborne. Her beak clacked in defiance, claws curling against themselves as she rose into the sky, struck again and again and again by the tribulation lightning, the raw fury of the Heavens unleashed.
She did not try to evade – who was she, to believe she could outrun lightning? But neither did she try to flee. Who was she to believe she could escape the will of the Heavens? Besides, though she still ran off of a lot of instinct, she did know one thing. If she could not handle this, she could never fly freely in the skies above.
Each flap of her wings took her higher and higher, straight into the heart of the storm, where air was so thick with electricity it scrambled her mind and made every inch of movement a hard-won battle. Once again the Heavens roared, dozens of bolts streaking through her flesh and feathers, seeking to burn her to a crisp – and yet.
And yet.
She was born of fire. Heat and flame and searing pain were nothing new to her. Her shriek echoed in the darkening clouds, light spilling from her wings, fire roaring from her feathers, tearing the very clouds themselves asunder. But the clouds were not to be denied. They scraped themselves together, whatever will that bound them, made them strike those seeking to improve their fleshly bodies, forcing them back into place above her. Lightning flashed in the dark clouds. First blue, then white, then a brilliant gold, rumbling and crackling as they readied themselves for one last strike.
Solana spread her wings, bracing herself for it, fire rippling from her, daring it to try and strike her down.
The skies burned golden for one glorious second.
And Solana fell from the sky.
Smoke curled from her feathers as she tumbled, the storm clouds fading away, her tribulation over. Her consciousness faded in and out, darkness creeping through her vision, coming to bear just long enough for her to see the ground, rapidly approaching. Instinct took over and she flared her wings, pain shooting through her as she was sent hurtling through the trees, crashing through branches and trailing smoke before slamming into the ground, digging a furrow behind her small body.
A weak cry rang up from her.
She had done it. She had survived. Now all she had to do was find a place to rest.
***
An old man had witnessed the birth of a new kind of beast, and stroked his long, flowing beard, once green as was typical for an Elemental, and now was as brown as dead grass. He stood hunched over, leaning heavily upon a cane, his long robes falling down to his feet as he glided over the ground, moving far easier than any man his age had any right to.
“Well now, little one. You’ve found yourself in quite the situation, haven’t you?” He asked rhetorically as he approached the downed bird. It was small. Tiny, even, barely the size of his palm, breathing labored as it rested in the small, smoking crater it had made. “I have never seen a tribulation that intense, even for an Immortal, much less any being survive it without any talismans or protective charms.” He knelt next to the bird, humming softly to himself as he examined its wounds.
“Any beast or being that found you could eat you, you know. Your flesh and qi would make quite the prize for anyone; a significant boost to their cultivation. Karmic Hell, it may even push me into the realm of Immortality!” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “It would be the law of nature for me to feast upon you here. Not even Lady Reika would judge me for taking advantage of this opportunity.” He was silent for a moment as he knelt next to the bird, joints creaking and popping, a groan escaping him. He frowned, narrowing his eyes at the little bird, admiring its red plumage, charred though it was from the tribulation. It looked so small, there, even as it opened one beady black eye to watch him, crying out weakly as it tried to get up, wings flapping weakly.
“But I would judge me. It would be a shame for one so old to take away the talent of one so young. Come now, entrust yourself to me. On my faith to Lady Reika, no harm shall befall you while you are under my care.” He said the words softly, yet with as much power as he could muster. The very forest stilled as he invoked the Lady of Change’s name, laying a hand filled with healing qi on the little bird.
And it cried out no longer, falling into unconsciousness.
***
Alanna, for the first time in a long time, had been given a reprieve from her duties. She had been given a very competent advisor in the woman who called herself the Mad Scientist, and while she had her quirks, she had to admit the Mad Scientist was terribly efficient.
But what she made up for in efficiency, she likewise detracted in…wasteful spending.
Alanna sighed as she looked up from where she’d been enjoying a scroll – a silly little romance that had her smiling with every other paragraph. While she doubted she would ever find a romance like that, that would endure lifetimes, she did not for a second disbelieve their existence. The Sun and Star were one such example, but she was distracting herself from the real issue.
A veritable explosion of qi radiated out from underneath the palace proper, rattling the chains that bound the floating city of Manu Ti above the lake below, then, just as quickly, fading away.
“She’s causing problems again.” She complained, rolling up the scroll. Whatever secret project the Mad Scientist had been working on had been rattling the entirety of Manu Ti for some time now. The people hadn’t notice only due to extensive warding in place, and her own power masking the worst of the effects. This one, however, was sure to cause questions to be asked.
The worst part about it all? The project wasn’t a secret. It was just that no one understood what it was, not even her master formations experts and immortals who have lived nearly as long as she. Not even the Dao Progenitors fully understood what she was making – only that, at times, wonderous creations would appear. Wonderous creations she called defects, or side-projects. Techniques that allowed for cultivators beneath the Nascent Soul stage to fly, rings that could contain hundreds of pounds of stuff, which was a vast improvement on other spacial manipulations, and cultivation talismans that would purify the ambient qi. By far the most interesting to Alanna, however, were the flying ships that did not require Immortals to pilot, and could traverse the rigors of space beyond Pangaea. Prior, they’d had to send Immortals to the distant planets surrounding Pangaea, Immortals protecting whatever personnel were necessary to pacify and establish contact with the often primitive civilizations of the outer planets. With those ships? It was far easier to send trade missions out there, and even to harvest some of the cultivations resources that were common on lifeless planets. It was opening up all sorts of interesting opportunities, including spreading quality
“Do you want me to go handle it?” Bob, her Immortal, illusionist spymaster, asked, appearing beside her in a swirl of shadow. He was a completely unassuming man, with a bald head, the typical horns of a Fae, and a pudgy body. He was, quite frankly, not uneasy on the eyes but certainly nothing to write home about. He was undyingly loyal, though, and appearing fairly normal was one of his greatest assets in his line of work. She thought about it for a moment, then shook her head.
“No. You deserve some rest. I will unfortunately need you to keep investigating the disturbances on the outer rims. I will go see what she is doing.” She tossed the scroll aside as she stood, sighing quietly to herself. There was a lot going on. The disturbances and talks of discontent – beyond the usual discontent that went around, as in the prevalent anger at life – were alarming but ultimately not as important as whatever Xing Wu was warning her about, and whatever the Mad Scientist was doing. She drummed her fingers against her thigh as she walked through the long halls of the Celestial Palace, letting her pondering flee her mind.
It was only when she got to the Mad Scientist’s laboratory, the large stone doors looming imposingly above her, that she paused to think about what she was doing.
Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to enter here. But…with all the qi waves she was making…
Alanna sighed heavily. She already would have to do PR work to calm people down about the qi explosions; she didn’t need more work to do, no matter how much she didn’t want to go in there.
Steeling herself she pushed forward, opening the huge stone doors with ease, the formations recognizing her qi and letting her in, to reveal the interior of the laboratory. What had once been a dungeon was now a mess of different alchemical, formation, and scientific equipment. The Mad Scientist, on the other hand, was an absolute mess. Her wings were charred. Her outfit was covered in grease and was still burning. Her hair was a mess, and her glasses hung lopsided on her face, even as she turned to flash Alanna a massive grin.
“Empress! Hello! I have something crazy to tell you – it involves, well, I won’t get into specifics, but did you know that energy gets more rigid as it ages?! I’ve never worked with so much young energy, it’s so moldable! And the energy that comes from the soul – that stuff is so versatile! Look, see, I hooked myself up to this formation…” she rambled on, most of the words she used going over Alanna’s head – not because she didn’t know them, but because she truly didn’t understand the context in which they were said, and sighed again as the woman pulled out a metal rod, positioning it over her chest so she could stab herself and, quote, “get as close to the soul as physically possible.”
Alanna sighed again, then moved to stop her.
Hadn’t she just been thinking she was getting more time to herself with the woman around? She took it back.
Now she was babysitting an overpowered academic, with a penchant for self-harm. As if ruling a country wasn’t enough like babysitting.
***
There was a soul floating in the Void, waiting in silent anticipation for what was to come, practically vibrating in place while one of the gods of the young universe held it back. But it was patient. And it had already gotten permission to enter. Now it just needed to wait for the gods of the universe to actually let it in.
Silently, it went over what it knew about this universe in its head.
First; it was the youngest universe it had ever seen. By a large margin. As someone who had been to thousands, if not tens of thousands of universes by this point, the thought of something new had it all but salivating. But that wasn’t the only thing.
The new universe was facing an impending crisis! Two universes on a collision course – talk about something new and exciting! It didn’t even mind that it was having to strike a deal with the Overgod in order to get in; this was just…it shuddered again in anticipation. The Four Realms. That alone was a rare enough variant; it had actually only ever been in something similar in structure once.
Ding!
{[Your request has been approved. You will be entering the Four Realms on an observational basis only; abusing the rules too much will result in a severe penalty and the removal of certain privileges and powers.]} The being scanned the message, then waved it away as well as it could as a bubble of soul-stuff. It didn’t need a reminder of what it already knew.
“Yes, yes, I know. Don’t worry! I have no intention of messing this up; it’s alright even if I just have to watch!” it said happily. “Though the other guy may not agree…you know how he is about screwing with my stuff. Ah, you’re probably offering the same sort of deal.” Though it knew from experience that the punishment for abusing the Overgod’s trust wouldn’t be too severe, nor were the revocation of aforementioned privileges. It just meant the next few lifetimes would be absolutely god-awful, something it wasn’t ready to do again yet.
Then, all at once, it was time. The block was removed, and its soul started to create the carbon-copy that would be sent down into the Realms proper. Most of its kind were unable to sense or understand themselves while in the Nexus State, as it called it, but it was not most. It even had the ability to somewhat choose and modify its own body; but for the most part it left the settings on random.
Being fiddly with character creation didn’t fit its style. The only thing it demanded was, if it was going to be born into a loving family, it wanted to be born a twin. It had been a parent enough times to know how unfair it would be to have a child, especially an only child, that was not truly their own.
Ding!
[[That is logic I can get behind. Request granted.]]
The being blinked in surprise at the message, even as its incarnation-like soul-shard was pushed through the wall of Primordial Chaos that protected the Four Realms from the Void. That was…not the Overgod.
Ding!
[[Wait, is this how you see me? The same messages as Mr. Boxes? Huh. It’s really odd being on the other end of this, for once. Welcome to the Four Realms. What should I call you?]]
“I go by many names.” The being said, taking it in stride. “But you may call me the Rival. A challenger whose abilities know no bounds! May I know who you are?”
Ding!
[[I am the Origin Deity. You may call me Statera Luotian.]]
The Rival shuddered again in glee as its incarnation was pushed through the chaos and into the Realms, its vision obscured as its body was chosen and formed, already sending it hurtling down to the lands below. That was fine by it, though. It didn’t want any spoilers.
It wanted to enjoy the Four Realms and this young universe naturally.
And maybe play around a little bit – it’d never actually met an Origin Deity before!
***
I frowned to myself as the Rival descended into the Physical Realm, the body I had picked out for it already prepared, and twinned just like it had asked. I’d be keeping an eye on that one, but only half an eye – we still had a lot to do.
“I swear I know that one, though,” I muttered, turning back to my work. Ah, well, it wasn’t high on the priority list, and I’d figure it out eventually. For now, it was time to focus.
***
Solana: Was once Sol. Is a bird now. Just as stubborn as ever.
Alanna: Empress of the Physical Realm. Has a lot to deal with. Including crazy scientists.
The Mad Scientist: Serial Reincarnator. Is starting to live up to her name.
The Rival: Serial Reincarnator 2. Just happy to be here!
Statera Luotian: MC. God of Balance. Swears they recognize that one, but can't place it. Which is rare, for them.
Comments
PikaAndrew
Tftc
Baron of Awesome
The other one is called first.
Allie-Glace
Now I ship Alanna/Mad sciensist
ArtTheGreat
The Rival? I thought it was The First that would arrive sooner. Interesting.
Midnight7411
Ah the rival? Not the hero or whatever the other one was supposed to be called? Interesting, and them being giddy to get into the four realms is quite fun, I wonder just what kind of chaos they’re going to cause
Dcs5782
Thanks for the chapter
Moon Winchester
I knew the Rival was going to be the old friend. I fucking knew it go back in the chapters. Go find my comment. I called it Bitch.
