Patrefans
Novus's Fanfiction Works from patreon
Novus's Fanfiction Works patreon

Can One Displaced Hero Save the Galaxy? (56-58)

🕑 Added 2024-10-22 23:24:46 +0000 UTC
Can One Displaced Hero Save the Galaxy? (56-58)
Can One Displaced Hero Save the Galaxy? (56-58)

Comments

The Foreign Traveler

Oh never Novus. I know you’d never ignore it. That’s also one more reason to say you’re a damn good writer: you listen to your readers and engage in talk. “A lot” of writers, unfortunately, don’t seem to do that from what I’ve personally read.

Novus Peregrine

I get it, and like I said it's helpful! I've made adjustments to clarify sentences once or twice based on feedback like that. Just didn't want you to think I was ignoring them ;-).

The Foreign Traveler

First time I’ve ever seen screen used in this context and thanks for pointing all this out! I don’t always expect you to agree with certain things I point out Novus. I put them there to, like you yourself said, to ensure it was clear and understandable for us readers and for your benefit too. *Shrugs* Sometimes I’ll just come by a passage I’m confused on and just write down my thoughts on “Is this what you meant?”

Novus Peregrine

Finally had the time to do the edits here, thanks! A couple of clarifications for you: Screen: I'm a little surprised you aren't familiar with this term, as it's common between naval battles, sci-fi, and even sports. It's short for 'screening element,' and generally refers to a lighter/faster/more maneuverable ship/player protecting a larger, less mobile, or more vulnerable target. In this case, the fighter screen is there to 'screen' against runs by other fighters. To minimize the amount of fighters that can get through to attack the capital ships. In, say, soccer, the same term might be used to describe the more mobile players acting as a 'screen' for the goalie. The more shots they can stop from even reaching the goalie, the better the odds the goalie can intercept the few that do get through. Same idea with ships. The more ships (or even missiles) that a protective 'screening element' can shoot down before they even enter attack range of, say, the command ship. The more probable it is that the remaining ones that get through will do no damage. The Nikto Comment: It was correct as it was. Aayla is hoping the Nikto will choose not to fight the League. She's less optimistic that they would choose to fight FOR the League, as their failed rebellion against the Hutts was a LONG time ago. She's hoping they just stay out of it entire. Hence, choosing to surrender rather than fighting when she and the combined fleet come knocking. Billions: They are NOT starting the campaign with billions. They have only millions. So the original was correct. Izuku knew they would NOT start the campaign with the billions needed to (traditionally) run a war on such a scale. Thanks for the edits :-). Don't worry about the ones I didn't agree with. Even pointing those out is useful, since it makes me double check to make sure I was clear about something.

The Foreign Traveler

Number 3! ...would have done A Very Confused Pokemon Adventure next but I had hadn't gotten around to reading it just yet since, until just before I began editing your stories tonight, I noticed on Fanfiction the 4 chapters already up with Chapter 5 up on your Patreon too. Wow. Dropped the ball a little on this one. But I'll have give it a read within a day then edit it! ...And don't worry Novus, I'll take my time and properly enjoy the story as it deserves. No pressure like you told me yeah? Alright! Enough chit chat! Time to edit! Chapter 56 Page 2 ...strong warrior culture at core... Correction: ...culture at the core... ...it had turned out "the" were quietly... Correction: ...turned out "they" were quietly... Chapter 57 Page 6 ...then what the fuck were you "don't" pretending to be a Hero? Correction: were you "doing" pretending to be a Hero Page 7: ...completely running on droid brains, and "possible" centuries old. Correction: ...and "possibly" centuries old. Page 8: Even "keep" a third the fighters back as a screen (a screen? Not getting it. Something I don't have context for maybe?) Correction: Even "keeping" a third of the fighters back as a screen... Pity for "then" that they didn't keep it on... Correction: Pity for "them" they didn't... Page 11: ...that the Nikto would decide "not to fight"... Correction: would decide "to fight"... "Aayla really hoped they at least decided to stay out of it, even if they didn't join in." (No correction this time. A race that had a third of it's population killed and with how I believe you want to phrase this...the Kintan would want to fight it looks like. This sentence just seems a little confusing to me. Just thought I'd point it out. Maybe I'm just not getting it?) Page 13: Izuku was just "glade"... Correction: ...just "glad"... Page 14: Hence Mei's "instance"... Correction: Hence Mei's "insistence"... Page 15: ...that they'd never start this Crusade "with" the billions... Correction: ...this Crusade "without" the billions... ...Yes. Yes! YYYEESSS!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Get your just desserts you fucking slugs! Finally! A story that takes the fucking fight to the Hutts! May they all die in a blaze of fiery deaths! ...poor Padme though, I so don't envy her position. Maybe she, along with some of her more mischievous Handmaidens, can request Izuku and maybe even Aayla for more "full body" type massage to relieve all their stress? They'd certainly enjoy it I'm sure~ Well, this is where I'm stopping for the night Novus. It's late and I need my sleep. I'll add Eridium Dreams to my reading list along with A Very Confused Pokemon Adventure to read and edit for tomorrow. Sweet dreams!

Novus Peregrine

Pretty much. Which...I mean...he learned that from Qui-gon :-p. It's almost a running gag in their entire lineage.

a no

Obi-wan the "do as I say but not as I do" Jedi

Novus Peregrine

Hopefully, Anakin doesn't find out that Obi-wan temporarily left the order when he was 13 to fight in a civil war :-p.

a no

I bring the salt for the slug. And I imagine Obi-wan saying: "No Anakin you are to young to join the army, your mother say 18 years Standar for joining".

Novus Peregrine

Glad you enjoyed it! I may be guilty of the sin of grinning like a loon when I wrong Padme's response. Laughing at your own joke writing is probably some sort of writer's sin, right? :-p

Aeden Emrys

Thanks for another batch of great chapters! Great to see things taking of in a more direct way! Going to be very interesting to see how these events develop! And I love Padme's part in the last chapter! I'm right there with the handmaidens in finding it highly amusing! And I can't wait to see how the next in person meeting between Padme and Izuku will turn out! ... I will need to have popcorn at the ready. Thanks again for your amazing work! Can't wait to be reading more of this great story!

Novus Peregrine

Exactly! The Hutts have made themselves the villains for so long, only those that are either in their pockets or REALLY pacifistic, can claim they haven't had this particular crusade coming ;-). I'm glad you enjoyed it :-).

Oliver Schöneck

Just read it all on the train and I was bitting my jaw shut so as not to be confused with a maniac while curling my toes in exitement and glee. I love a righteous crusade and kicking hutt butt cant be anything but.

Novus Peregrine

Okay, first...holy shit the track you linked is Epic and I'm 100% adopting it for their entire faction's theme :-p. You're right it absolutely fits from the instant they kicked off the invasion and through the rest of Izuku/Aayla's perspective. Second, I'm glad you liked the chapters ;-). I've been REALLY looking forward to hitting this point since the start of the fic. Enough so I frequently had to force myself to slow down and not rush too many timeskips :-p. The buildup was important to get it right, but it felt agonizing at times when I knew what the plan was from the start ;-). *edit* Wow. It works even better if you start it right as her holo starts to speak. That is genius and I love it.

Jamie Celtic

One word that describes this installment is EPIC , i loved it from the start with izuku starting the operation/crusade to mace doing a fury/sj quote🤣 and cant forget padmes attempt to concus herself🤣 and learning izuku has magic hands 😁, has me really psyched for the next installment , also got into it so much that when aayla's message started i started this track: https://youtu.be/8Dji7IKGFko?si=CESuyaqZUURv4wR4 , i think it pairs well, thank you for making what we've all been looking forward to so epic, now going to reread it

Novus Peregrine

Chapter 58: A/N 1: Whew! Finally time to get a look inside Palpy's head! Before this, he didn't have a big enough reason to take a deep look at Izuku and Co. Now...yeah, they made him sit up and pay attention. I hope I managed to convey, here, just what makes Palpatine so dangerous. He's really not that special of a direct combatant. Dangerous, absolutely, but not the end all and be all that many oddly make him out to be. What he IS, however, is the ultimate politician and schemer. Able to pull strings and spin almost anything to work for him, moving the goal posts around so his shots always score, and constantly adapting to make the most of even his own mistakes, let alone those of others. A/N 2: Okay, seriously, writing Padme's little meltdown was my favorite part of this release. It turned out WAY better than expected, and it wasn't even part of the original plan. The battle bits didn't use as much word count as I'd expected. As a result, I figured I'd add her reaction...and it came out delightfully. I'm now looking for more excuses to write her and her handmaidens, because it was just flat out fun.

Novus Peregrine

Chapter 57: A/N 1: Okay, this is where I rant about numbers. I'll try to keep this short...but the numbers given in the Star Wars films for Clones are utterly, complete, bullshit. There are over a million troops under arms just in the United States military, let along over the whole planet...and many of the Core Worlds of the Republic have FAR larger populations than Earth's measly 8 billion. If you take the Clone Numbers as given...they couldn't give a war for a single major world, let alone actually spread over the galaxy. It wouldn't be 'The Clone Wars,' it would be the 'Clone Minor Skirmishes' and no one would CARE. The only saving grace is that the Clones are listed as 'Units' and you can skirt the issue by saying 'oh, a unit must be a 1,000 soldier!' Or something like that. Even then, the number are BARELY enough for the Clones to be the Elite tip-of-the-spear against the CIS. Which would fit, sort of, with them being lead by Jedi. The vast bulk of the Republic War Assets would still be planetary armies and system defense forces, though. I made a point to highlight here that Izuku is aware of the numbers issue. Hutt Space is only around 500 worlds, not the hundreds of thousands of the Republic. But it's still a lot to chew on. Which is why he's pushed so damn hard to have superior quality AND to mixed droids and sentient forces. Even then... A/N 2: ...Don't think they are going to sweep all of Hutt Space easily. What we saw here? Sucker punches. Preplanned opening Alpha Strikes that were intended to give the League any chance AT ALL. They still have an uphill struggle ahead of them, as the Hutts react and start pushing every button, pulling out every Ace, and proving why no one has done this before. Izuku managed to level the playing field from the start. But that's all he really accomplished. They are still going to have to slog through to the finish line, and it won't be quick. A/N 3: I used a lot of Legends content regarding Hutts and Hutts Space. But the majority of what I included IS Legends canon. The Hutts really have been around longer than the Republic, really did used to be a warrior race, and really did have those three entire species enslaved as enforces since before the Republic even began.

Novus Peregrine

Chapter 56: A/N 1: So, yeah...big fleets. They are going to need them. Just a quick reminder? The only reason they've been able to build up so fast is because of the three Infinite Engine Seeds. This is explicitly why I gave those to them. Without them, they simply couldn't have built up a big enough presence to pull this off before the Clone Wars started. Ideally, I would have liked for Izuku to come in 5-10 years earlier to build up more realistically. But since I wanted to pair him with Aayla, that wasn't feasible without massive adjustments to canon. So, I gave them the IESes to make it possible, while still being a serious, grinding effort to pull it off so fast. A/N 2: Poor WIndu. He is going to have SO MANY headaches. Also, I couldn't help but slip in that one glorious word... A/N 3: New weapons systems. Don't worry, they aren't as unbalanced as they might seem. I've already thought through counters that some enemies are eventually going to evolve to things like the Null Torpedoes. Right now, they are a massive edge, and they are going to seriously rattle the standards of warfare galaxy wide. But they aren't unbeatable super weapons...the League will need to continue to innovate to retain its edge over time.

Novus Peregrine

This comment is for my commentary on the chapters! Nested below, you'll find chapter author's notes. They will be spoiler heavy, so I recommend you read the chapters first!


More Creators