TheWiseTomato
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Professor Wong
🕑 Added 2022-06-06 20:12:24 +0000 UTCThis is a commission for KingZephyr, featuring Wong of Marvel in a crossover situation.
X
It was Strange’s fault, of course. Meddling with forces he had read the sparknotes on and thought himself capable, assuming that because understanding came to him easily that he had no need for caution - it was infuriating, and it was worse because most of the time he was right.
Most of the time.
Wong paced angrily in the forest clearing, muttering to himself. The stars above told him he was somewhere in the UK, far from any civilisation. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem, with his sling ring in hand, but that brought him back to Strange and his meddling, and his interest in alternate dimensions and a complete disregard for thinking to warn his coworkers about delicate spellwork.
The shadows of the moonlit clearing were pushed back as a new lightsource appeared.
“Hello? Is this thing on?”
Wong whirled to face the voice, hands curling as if around a neck. “Strange. What have you done.”
“I made a minor miscalculation regarding sympathetic resonances,” Strange said, his avatar rippling and flickering in orange and yellow hues. He was squinting as he looked around.
“Minor?” Wong asked, jabbing his finger at him. “You’ve thrown me into another dimension!”
Strange hesitated, and Wong gave him a disbelieving look.
“It had better have just been me, Strange. There were apprentices in the Sanct-”
“The apprentices are fine,” Strange said. He made a gesture, and his form became more solid, though it still glowed.
Wong stared, waiting for the rest of it.
“You’re not the only one affected,” Strange said, speaking as if the printer toner delivery was late and not like he had scattered an unknown number of people across the multiverse.
“Who.”
“Thor, Steve Rogers, Stark, Bruce, Nick Fury, some others,” Strange said quickly.
“Those first three only just got back, and you’ve stranded them again,” Wong said. He could already feel a headache forming. “Retrieve me, and we can work on getting them back.” Building the connection required for even one was going to be a long sleepless night.
Strange hesitated again, and Wong began to get a bad feeling.
“I’m going to be honest, you’re on the lower end of the danger scale of destinations,” Strange said.
“Strange, do not.”
“I made a brief check and the world seems entirely mundane and lacking in magic,” Strange said, looking off to the side at something on his end. “Sit tight for a few hours, maybe a day-”
“Strange, don’t you dare-”
“-a week at most,” Strange kept talking, ignoring him. “Think of it like a vacation. Maybe Beyoncé is touring.”
“-I’m warning you-”
The projection disappeared, returning the clearing to the dark of night, broken only by faint moonbeams.
Wong inhaled, deep and slow. He would not lose his temper. He was a calm and collected master of the mystic arts. He would -
A figure emerged from the shadows, indistinguishable from the trees only moments prior. He had pale blond hair, and a pointed beard. “Mars is especially bright tonight, stranger,” he said. He was also a centaur.
“I’m going to kill him.”
X
Convincing a centaur and his hidden friends that he meant no harm wasn’t the hardest thing he ever done, but it was also the closest he had ever come to being shot through with arrows too, so he marked it down as another point against Strange. He had avoided that fate, but they had been insistent on escorting him from their forest, and he didn’t care to startle them with a portal, so he resigned himself to a cool nighttime hike through old and twisted paths, before being left in the middle of the countryside where he could plan his next move.
As the hoofbeats of his centaur escorts faded into the distance, however, Wong was presented with yet more evidence that Strange was a menace to society and in dire need of a corrective beating. Atop a sheer bluff sat a majestic castle, lights twinkling in its windows and reflecting on the lake that lay below it. It did not have the familiar background weight of the Sanctums, but it had something more ethereal, and Wong’s brow furrowed further.
“Entirely mundane,” Wong muttered to himself. He fought the urge to shake his fist at Strange.
Rolling lawns separated the forest’s edge from the castle grounds proper, and Wong caught sight of a figure approaching over them, lantern in hand. They seemed to be heading right for them, a large hound ambling at their side, and he decided to wait.
As the figure grew closer, their size became apparent, larger even than the brute of Thanos’ that he had defeated, though far more human in appearance. When the man reached him, he peered down with beetle-black eyes, taking him in.
“Who might you be,” he asked, lowering the lantern and keeping his spare hand on the grey hound at his side.
“I am Wong,” he said. The man was big, but he had fought bigger.
“I’m Hagrid, Keeper o’ the Keys here at Hogwarts,” the man said. “What brings yeh here?”
“An accident saw me stranded in the forest,” Wong said. He relaxed slightly, certain that he was not about to be attacked. Not with the way this Hagrid was scratching his dog behind the ears.
“Apparition gone wrong?” Hagrid asked.
“No, I am no spirit.”
“Ah, I don’t know what yeh’d call it out your way,” Hagrid said. “Magical travel, disappear and appear somewhere else.”
“Something like that, yes,” Wong said. “I am…stranded, for the time being.”
“Not teh worry, Headmaster will get you sorted right out,” Hagrid said. “Follow me and I’ll take yeh to him.”
He turned and made for the castle, long legs eating up the distance, and Wong hurried to follow. At least his welcome had been friendly. Perhaps the locals would even have some idea of what had drawn him here.
X
“I am afraid I haven’t the faintest idea of how you came to be here,” the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, said. A venerable and wizened old man with a curious sense of fashion, he had listened intently as Wong had explained his situation over tea after Hagrid had introduced them and taken his leave. “Interdimensional travel is a field with quite the dearth of knowledge.” He tapped his wand on his teacup, refilling it, and breathed in the steam that wafted anew.
Wong focused on the teapot and his cup, fingers twitching in a long practised and much trimmed pattern, refilling his own cup. “This is good tea,” he said, even as he considered his circumstances. The office he found himself in was lined with bookshelves and books, and there were a number of curious devices on the man’s desk, across which they sat.
“Thank you,” Albus said, smiling. “I see we have quite different magical traditions, too.”
“Wands are quite different tools in my home,” Wong said. “Not all purpose tools.”
“Curious,” Albus said. “And your government?”
“There are enough of you to form a distinct nation?” Wong asked.
“We separated from the Muggles - those without magic - long ago,” Albus said. “Every country has their own hidden magical society, headed by a Minister or equivalent.”
“We have the Sorcerer Supreme,” Wong said. “Only the one.” He sipped at his tea.
“Like our Supreme Mugwump, perhaps,” Albus mused. “They head the International Confederation of Wizards,” he explained.
“The role of Sorcerer Supreme is…not bureaucratic,” Wong said.
Albus inspected him for a moment, peering over half-moon glasses. “It appears there are many differences between your home and mine.”
“Past divergence?” Wong asked, interest piqued despite himself. “Or differing systems entirely.”
“I would be overjoyed to find out,” Albus said, “but I must confess, there are weightier matters that demand my attention. It may be some time before I can give your unfortunate situation the focus it deserves.”
“That is not a problem,” Wong said. “A way home is possible, just delayed by the priorities of my subordinate.”
“Then you are not stranded, dependent on my aid,” Albus said, pleased.
“Not truly,” Wong said, eyeing the man. He was powerful, it was clear. That he was head of a school meant little - so was Wong.
“In that case, I may extend this offer without fear of extorting you,” Albus said. “Are you in need of employment?”
“Are you in need of a librarian?” Wong asked. He had a sudden yearning for the days when all he had to worry about was some overeager apprentice searching for knowledge beyond their ken.
“Not a librarian, no,” Albus said, dashing his hopes. “However, I am in need of a professor. It would be a temporary contract, one year only.”
“One year,” Wong said. “I had better not be left here for an entire year.” ‘A few hours, maybe a day, a week at most’, Strange had said.
“It would be best if you could teach for the year,” Albus said. “Though in truth, I only need someone to start the job to avoid an applicant being forced upon me.”
“I am experienced in teaching mule-headed apprentices,” Wong allowed. “But I know nothing of your style of magic.”
Albus’ lips pursed in displeasure. “I know the one being pushed for the role and what she intends, and let me assure you that you cannot do worse.”
“Hnnn,” Wong said, resting his chin in hand and tapping a finger to his lips as he thought. He was tempted, but the duties of the Sorcerer Supreme were not put aside lightly. Before he could voice his refusal, however, a flickering figure appeared, standing in the Headmaster’s desk.
“Wong,” Strange said, “good, you’re still alive.” Behind him, Albus was looking like a child who had found a present unlooked for.
“Is there a reason I wouldn’t be?” Wong asked. His tone was mild. “This is a mundane world without magic, remember. You said that to me.”
Across the desk, at Strange’s back, Albus placed a hand over his mouth, hiding a smile.
“I managed to retrieve Fury, and we dealt with all the snakes,” Strange said, as if he hadn’t spoken. “Bruce seems to be having fun with a number of small hulklings, so I’m going to work on retrieving the Parker boy next.”
“The Spider child?” Wong asked. “Stark will neuter you.” Then he frowned, suspicious. “What are you buttering me up for?”
“Each displaced person requires a specific criteria to retrieve,” Strange said. “It’s a little more complicated than matching and reversing the sympathetic resonances like we thought.”
“Like you thought,” Wong growled.
“Good news is I know how to bring you back,” Strange said. “Bad news, it requires a specific astral alignment that will take place next July.”
“Next June,” Wong said flatly. “Strange, it’s August.”
“I’ll keep checking in on you,” Strange said, looking around the room. “I see you managed to find yourself a library. Good on you for making the best of things.”
Wong said nothing, his gaze boring into Strange’s glowing forehead.
“Right,” Strange said, coughing. “Enjoy your time off.” He winked out of existence once again
There was a moment of silence, and the armrests of Wong’s chair creaked in his grip.
“I see that your schedule has an opening,” Albus remarked. “The position does come with room and board.”
Wong considered, for a moment, the odds that the others would be rescued without complication, for surely there would be some, with only one person working on the problem. The original problem would need to be addressed, as would the wing that had been half destroyed, to say nothing of the greater enchantments, let alone the other responsibilities of the Sorcerer Supreme, and - a thought occurred to him. Suddenly, Wong realised that being stranded in this world, temporary it might be, meant that it wasn’t his problem. He could relax. He could have time off.
“I accept,” he said. “When do I start?”
“Students arrive September 1st,” Albus said, eyes twinkling merrily. “So you have several weeks to make yourself familiar with the castle. I’ll have a curriculum made available to you.”
“Thank you,” Wong said.
“No, thank you, Professor Wong,” Albus said. “You’ve saved me a great headache. Lemon drop?”
Wong accepted the candy from the smiling old man, trying to ignore the foreboding feeling that suddenly appeared. He had helped teach hundreds of mystics. He could handle a few classes more.
X
Wong stared out at the classroom of eleven year old children.
The class of eleven year old children stared back at Wong.
He realised, then, that there had been a miscommunication somewhere. Nowhere had it said that he would be teaching adults come seeking instruction in the mystic arts, grouped by ability, just as nowhere had it been said that he would be teaching children, grouped by age.
“Right,” Wong said, clapping his hands together. “Today, we are going to practise casting alarm sparks. Take out your wands, and make sure not to cast them directly at anyone. There will be -” he glanced surreptitiously at the notes on his desk “-house points for those who can control the colour and amount at the end of the lesson.” He could manage this just fi - one of them was picking his nose, making direct eye contact with him. He was going to throttle Strange when he got home.
X
Despite the ages of his new students, Wong found his feet quickly, focusing on the theoretical knowledge of dangers students might face, and setting spell practice for homework, so that they would come to class with some idea of the practical side of things. He faced few behavioural issues that could not be solved with a stern glare, and he had standing invitations with Albus and Hagrid for tea. There was a rumour going around that he was something called a ‘squib’, and Strange hadn’t checked in again, but things were going well.
Then, at the end of the first week, the school received a new appointment.
X
“Hem hem.”
Wong looked up from his lunch, sitting in the staff lunchroom, to take in the blindingly pink fashion disaster that had drawn his attention. A woman, hardly taller than him even sitting down, was watching him with an expectant gaze, much like a toad might watch a fly that was just out of reach. She hadn’t coughed - she had actually said ‘hem hem’. He stared at her blankly.
“I just had to introduce myself to the professor that Headmaster Dumbledore found at such a late hour,” the woman said with a put upon smile. “Cornelius - the Minister for Magic, that is - and I were quite surprised to hear of your hiring.” She eyed the robes he wore, still in the style of his home rather than that of the locals.
He continued to stare, waiting for her to actually introduce herself.
The woman’s fake smile grew strained as the silence stretched out. They were not the only two in the staff lunchroom, Minerva reading a book in one of the deep couches, while Filius was marking homework in a table he had adjusted to suit his size. Pomona was there too, eating across the table from Wong. All three were listening in, only pretending not to be.
“Yes, well. We are most curious as to where he found you,” the woman continued. “It seemed it would be impossible to fill the position in time.”
Wong continued to stare.
“Do you - does he speak English?” the woman asked, glancing over to Minerva. “Can - you - understand - me?”
“When you say something that requires me to answer,” Wong said, “then I will answer.”
“Well I never,” the woman said, drawing herself up in affront. “Do you know who I am?”
“You have not introduced yourself to me,” Wong said. He thought he heard Filius bury a snort.
“You were not invited to the meeting with those of importance, were you?” she asked, dripping with false sympathy. “I am Hogwarts’ new Educational Inspector, Madam Dolores Umbridge. It is my task to ensure that the staff of this fine institution are up to the task of properly educating our youth. There has been some question as to the thought behind recent hiring practices,” she said, eyeing him pointedly.
Wong looked her up and down, unimpressed. “I can understand why.”
Umbridge’s nostrils flared as she huffed in irritation. “I will be sitting in on classes, starting next week. Please do try to be prepared.”
“Of course,” Wong said, turning back to his lunch, his mood soured. Petty office politics. Something else to blame Strange for.
X
Somehow, over the course of a single weekend and one special assembly, Umbridge managed to inspire disgust and simmering hatred across a good portion of the student body and staff, in addition to getting into a screaming match with a Gryffindor fifth year and a Ravenclaw sixth year in the halls afterwards. Not that Wong had any first hand knowledge, having decided that he had better things to do on a Saturday morning, like watch the sun rise and catch up on his meditation atop the Astronomy tower. He wouldn’t come to regret it, exactly, but he would later muse that attending the assembly might have given him a better idea of what to expect.
X
It was a beautiful day outside, and Wong had decided that was almost reason enough to take his class of fourth year students outside by the lake to discuss kelpies and how to deal with them. The students appreciated the fresh air and sun, and the suggestion that one of the beasts might be lurking in the lake behind him did wonders for keeping them focused. It was towards the end of the lesson that he spied the rest of the reason he had moved the class outside, marching across the grounds with ill temper.
“Professor Wong!” Umbridge said loudly as she neared, interrupting his lesson. “Were you not informed that I would be inspecting your class today?” Her face was red and splotchy, and her breathing heavy, as if she had been more active than she was accustomed to being.
“You did,” Wong told her. “Several times.”
“Then why have you moved the class outside?!” she demanded, coming to a halt, hands on her hips.
“Fresh air and sun,” Wong said. “Good for learning.”
“Why did you not inform me?” Umbridge asked. “I have had to traipse back and forth across the castle, and-” she cut herself off, glaring.
The students were invested in the back and forth now, finding it great entertainment.
“I did,” Wong lied.
“When??”
“I left a note on your desk.”
“I saw no such thing,” Umbridge said, eyes narrowed.
“Perhaps you missed it,” Wong said.
Umbridge pressed her lips together, and picked at her pink cardigan, wafting it back and forth in an attempt to cool herself. “Well. I am here now, so the inspection may begin.”
“Very well,” Wong said. He turned back to the class. “That is all we have time for today, students. In order to make it to your next class on time, you are dismissed.”
The toadlike woman spun on her heel and marched away, concealing her rapidly reddening face from them, though not fast enough. Several students snickered, and she began to march faster.
Wong narrowed his eyes at the woman’s back, seeing the intent in her stride. With a thought, a glowing portal appeared, large enough to reach through, his office desk on the other side. Holding the spell, he took up quill and parchment, scribbling a quick note about a change in lesson location, and pulled it through. The students were watching with intense interest as he allowed his portal to fade, before opening another, this time to a different office. He dropped the parchment through, satisfied, and closed it too. He glanced at the students, the gaze of the entire class fixed on him.
“Let’s keep that between us, shall we?” he asked.
The class nodded as one, most of them grinning or smirking, and he waved them on their way. They broke off, already starting to gossip and chat about what they had seen.
He had a feeling that wouldn’t be the end of it, but it would take more than a self important bureaucrat to worry the Sorcerer Supreme.
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