TheFanficGOD
patreon
MHA171- Body Pillow
🕑 Added 2025-07-12 16:55:44 +0000 UTCThe door slammed behind us like a judge delivering a guilty verdict. I took one look at the squad, half-drunk, half-comatose, and sighed. “Y
The door slammed behind us like a judge delivering a guilty verdict. I took one look at the squad, half-drunk, half-comatose, and sighed. “Y
The door slammed behind us like a judge delivering a guilty verdict. I took one look at the squad, half-drunk, half-comatose, and sighed. “Yep. Definitely never doing this again.”
By the time we left the diner, Nejire was on my back, Tsuyu in my arm, Uraraka on Ryukyu’s back, and Mirko was wobbling.
The cold hit instantly. Nejire burrowed against my neck, mumbling something about the temperature being unfair. Tsuyu adjusted her grip, her breath visible in the air. Uraraka, despite her initial protests, had gone limp, letting Ryukyu carry her without resistance. Mirko, on the other hand, was moving with the stubborn determination of someone who refused to admit they were a little drunk.
"How the hell did this happen?" Ryukyu asked, shifting Uraraka slightly.
Nejire snickered into my shoulder. "You guys drank too much."
"You drank too much," Mirko shot back, swaying slightly.
Nejire hummed. "Yeah, but I have Ryuu. You? You are one bad step from face-planting into the sidewalk."
Mirko scowled but didn’t argue.
Tsuyu adjusted herself, glancing at Nejire. "You should walk."
Nejire curled tighter against me. "I refuse."
Ryukyu sighed. "This is why I don’t take you all out to nice places."
Uraraka muttered something against Ryukyu’s back, too far gone to care.
Mirko rolled her shoulders, cracking her neck. "Alright, where to next?"
I turned my head slightly. "You are not walking straight, and you wanna go somewhere else?"
Mirko pointed at me. "Don’t question me."
Nejire reached up, flicking my ear. "Let’s go somewhere fun."
"Define fun."
Mirko grinned. "Bar fight."
Ryukyu groaned. "No."
Nejire pouted. "A karaoke place?"
"Absolutely not," Tsuyu said immediately.
Uraraka muttered something again, barely conscious.
I sighed. "We are going home."
Mirko scoffed. "Lame."
Nejire draped herself dramatically over my back. "You are the worst."
Tsuyu exhaled, her grip tightening slightly. "I agree."
I glanced at Ryukyu. "You backing me up here?"
Ryukyu, clearly regretting everything, nodded. "Yes. Home."
Nejire groaned, kicking her legs slightly. "Fine."
Mirko rolled her shoulders, still looking for a reason to cause problems, but even she seemed too tired to argue.
We walked in silence for a while, the city lights casting long shadows across the street. The cold kept things sharp, biting at exposed skin. Nejire had fully committed to making herself comfortable, while Tsuyu stayed quiet. Ryukyu adjusted her hold on Uraraka, glancing around like she was debating if she should just wake her up.
"She is gonna complain when she finds out she got carried," I muttered.
Ryukyu shrugged. "Not my problem."
Nejire nuzzled into my shoulder. "You are warm."
I glanced at her. "You are literally a heat parasite."
She hummed. "A cute one."
Mirko clicked her tongue. "If you two start flirting, I am leaving you both in a ditch."
Nejire stuck her tongue out at her. "Jealous?"
Mirko cracked her knuckles. "Try me."
We kept moving. The streets were quiet, the occasional car passing by, but nothing out of the ordinary. I kicked the door open, stepping inside. "Alright, bedtime, motherfuckers."
Nejire clung to me tighter. "Nooo, you are comfy."
"Too bad," I said, peeling her off. "Ryukyu, you handle Tsuyu and Uraraka. I’ve seen Nejire naked before, so I will undress her."
Ryukyu pinched the bridge of her nose. "I am not even arguing. Just don’t make a mess."
Nejire grinned, already half-asleep. "Ooooh, scandalous."
I dropped her onto the bed. "Yeah, yeah, scandal this." I pulled her shoes off and tossed them aside, then yanked her dress off without ceremony. She barely reacted, just stretched her arms out with a content hum. I grabbed the nearest oversized hoodie and threw it over her head. She wiggled into it, then immediately latched onto my wrist.
She hugged the pillow like a spoiled cat, mumbling, “You are a good boyfriend, Ryuu.”
“I am a saint,” I muttered.
"Ryuuuu," she whined. "Stay."
"Not happening," I said, untangling her fingers.
She pouted. "But I am cold."
"That is crazy," I said, standing up. "Goodnight."
She flopped onto the pillow, grumbling, but didn’t fight.
I stepped out, shutting the door behind me. Ryukyu was already done with the others. Uraraka and Tsuyu were both knocked out, breathing slow and even. Mirko was still awake, sprawled on the couch like she was debating whether moving was worth the effort.
I walked past her, waving lazily. "Try not to die in your sleep."
She grunted. "Same to you."
I made my way to my room, shutting the door behind me. Stripping down, I headed to the bathroom, brushing my teeth while trying not to think about the dumbassery I endured today.
Then the door creaked open.
I turned my head.
Mirko.
In the princess suit.
For a second, I thought my brain short-circuited. My soul left my body. There she was. Mirko. Battle-hardened, no-nonsense Mirko… in enough lace and frills to smother an entire kindergarten class. “What in the actual Disney princess hell…” I whispered. Then I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture before she could react.
"Fucking knew it," I muttered, already taking more.
Her eye twitched. "You take one more, and I am breaking that thing."
I took three more.
Mirko exhaled through her nose. "You are asking to die."
"Bold of you to assume I fear death," I said, flipping through my new collection of blackmail. "I can’t believe you actually put it on."
She crossed her arms. "I wanted to see how good it was."
I nodded, still taking pictures. "And?"
She glanced down at herself, ears twitching slightly. "Fits. Comfy. Good material."
I grinned. "Oh, so you like it?"
She huffed, looking away. "Shut up."
I kept snapping pictures.
She took a step forward. "Ryuu."
I didn’t stop.
Another step.
"Ryuu."
One more picture.
She lunged.
I dodged, barely, diving onto the bed like a man in a spy movie… except my opponent was a pissed-off rabbit in couture.
“Gimme the phone, dumbass!” she barked, tackling me.
“Over my dead Wi-Fi!” I yelped, holding it aloft like Simba in The Lion King.
Her fingers brushed the screen. I rolled. She rolled with me. The blanket became a noose.
My life flashed before my eyes… mostly images of her punching me. She grabbed for my phone, but I twisted, pinning her arms before she could snatch it.
"Delete them," she said.
"Not happening," I said.
She struggled, legs kicking. "I swear to god…"
"You wore the damn thing. You knew this was coming."
Her knee nudged my stomach, but I held firm.
"Ryuu," she growled.
"Mirko," I said back, smirking.
She tried to roll us over, but I hooked my leg around hers, keeping her in place.
"You are the worst," she muttered.
"I know."
She stopped struggling, exhaling. "You are not gonna shut up about this, are you?"
"Never."
She flopped against the bed, still glaring. "At least make sure no one else sees them."
I raised a brow. "Oh, so you are fine if I keep them for myself?"
Her eye twitched. "Shut. Up."
I chuckled, finally letting go. She sat up, adjusting the cuffs on her wrists like she wasn’t just trying to murder me a second ago. Then, without a word, she flopped onto the bed, stealing half the blanket.
I stared. "The fuck do you think you are doing?"
"Sleeping."
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Of course you are."
She kicked at me lazily. "You sleep naked, right?"
I rolled my eyes. “You just wrestled with me while I was full-on naked. You are lucky I drank a bit myself and my bat is not working properly.”
Mirko smirked, eyes closed. “Hah. Incompetent.”
I groaned, adjusting the blanket. “I will make you regret saying that one day.”
She chuckled, already settling in, arms locking around me like I was a damn body pillow. Her breathing evened out fast. Meanwhile, I was stuck questioning my life choices. Oh, great. Now I was a human pillow. This was fine. Totally fine. Not terrifying at all. If she crushes me in her sleep, my gravestone better say “Death by Bunny.”
“Hopefully, she won’t kill me when she wakes up,” I muttered.
She mumbled something in her sleep, probably already plotting my murder in her dreams. Great.
Morning hit fast. Too fast. One second, I was in the sweet embrace of sleep, and the next, something heavy slammed into my ribs.
“Wake up, dumbass.”
I cracked an eye open. Mirko was sitting up, stretching, the princess suit wrinkled all over. Her hair was a mess, her expression unreadable, and judging by the way she was looking at me, she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or suplex me through the bed.
“You look like shit,” I muttered.
She yawned. “Yeah? You look like you got hit by a truck.”
“Feel like it too.”
She swung a leg over the bed, standing up. “Where is my real outfit?”
I pointed at the chair. “Right there. Try not to flash your ass at me while you change.”
She grabbed her clothes, tossing them over her shoulder. “Please. As if you haven’t seen better.”
I grinned. “And worse.”
She flicked my forehead. “Don’t push your luck.”
As she got dressed, I sat up, rubbing my face. I needed coffee. And food. And maybe divine intervention.
She glanced at me while buttoning her shirt. “That princess suit? Burning it.”
I snorted. “Nah, you are keeping it.”
She shot me a look. “You think I would actually…”
“You didn’t throw it out last night.”
She paused, then scowled. “Tch. Shut up.”
I stretched, standing. “If you ever feel like making history, wear it to patrol.”
She kicked me. I dodged. Barely.
She glanced down at my soft bat wobbling as I dodged, then smirked. “Get dressed, perv.”
I rolled my eyes. “Says the grown-ass woman who held an intern to sleep while he was naked.”
Mirko snorted, throwing her shirt on. “Yeah, yeah. You are still alive, aren’t you?”
I grabbed my pants, pulling them up. “Barely.”
She finished buttoning up, then flicked my forehead on her way out. “Hurry up. If you are slow, I am eating your breakfast.”
I scoffed. “You touch my food, I am replacing all your protein shakes with baby formula.”
She grinned over her shoulder. “Jokes on you, I would still drink em.”
I flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She was going to kill me one day. Or marry me. Possibly both. Either way, I needed more coffee.
Comments
hector lyng
oh holy shit lol sadhaskjdhasjkhd
