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[FMMISM] Chapter 9: His Wish
🕑 Added 2024-06-26 01:07:18 +0000 UTCIn truth, Matou Zouken had not yet died.
Zouken, whose physical body should have been destroyed by Kama, still lingered somewhere in the Matou residence.
Of course, this was to be expected.
Zouken's body destroyed in the basement was nothing more than a collection of worms.
His true body, the vessel that housed his soul and the brain of all worms, still existed in this world. Unless his true body was destroyed, this 500-year-old monster could not be completely killed.
Unfortunately, despite being somewhat undying, Zouken's soul was gradually fading away.
After all, the moment Mara descended, the Matou residence transformed into her demonic castle, or in simple terms, her body—a 'universe' from which mortals could never escape.
Even though Zouken had once believed that Sakura's womb could produce excellent offspring, he could never have imagined that her womb could actually transform into a 'universe' of this scale.
Most of his power had been obliterated, and now his body remained as a dying worm which still retained consciousness.
"Aaahhh..."
Zouken who writhed in agony was just a piece of decaying flesh that could still move. Cursing his gradually dissolving self, clinging to his own obsession, he persisted.
"Aaahhh..."
As Zouken writhed on the ground like a pupa, it was clear that his demise was only a matter of time. Yet, as a mage who had become a mere piece of ugly worm, he still clung to life even in extreme agony.
Would he decay to the very end and die with regrets like this?
"Aahhh... Aaahhh..."
Was this pain before death, or because of regret?
If he were to vanish here, what else could he accomplish?
Five hundred years, a journey of pain that had lasted for five hundred years—if he died now, it would all be for nothing.
"Aaahhhh..."
When he looked back, all that remained was pain.
Driven out from his homeland, Russia, and stranded in this far-eastern land, Japan, he was unable to blend into foreign laws, causing his family to decline.
However, he knew that was a lie, an excuse.
If that was the only reason, then there might still be hope.
If the reason for his declining family was just that, perhaps he could quietly accept his demise.
He understood that it wasn't due to his inability to adapt to Japan's environment. Mere external factors like these couldn't be the end of his family.
For three hundred years, since his pursuit began, three hundred years marked the boundary of his family decline.
His family, starting from that time, began its decline.
Even though the pain already started from that time, he could only deny the reality blindly.
His family had come to a halt in his generation.
Desperately ignoring and resisting this fact was what defined Matou Zouken's entire life.
However, no matter what, he didn't want to die.
He didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to die!
"Aaahhhh!"
Yes, he didn't want to die.
Hatred toward his corrupt flesh was intense, pain upon pain, but in the end, it was all pain.
What he had been fighting for in these five hundred years was nothing but suffering—his life was simply suffering.
Was seeking immortality wrong?
So painful, so unsatisfactory, just pain.
In this long life, how could one's traces not be left behind, how could one just die in such agony?
Looking back over five hundred years, akin to dust, just not wanting to die, why, why was his life so difficult?
Despite the burning pain, the ugly worm, Zouken, still crawled on the ground, desperately clinging to life.
Truly tenacious obsession.
He shouldn't have been able to move—no, he didn't even have the ability to move, and yet, driven only by resentment, he persistently moved.
He had already become a monster incarnated by pure obsession.
In his mind, only the thought 'want to stay alive' was churning.
"How ugly this is, Makiri."
Above the creature of ugliness that could not possibly exist in this world, came a voice ethereal like that of an angel.
"What...?"
In his swaying gaze, a boy born from the filthy grail, Grail of Wealth, stood in front of him.
"..."
Zouken halted his movements, looking up at the boy—no, not at him, but at 'her'.
In the peculiar compound insect eyes of Zouken, the filthy grail transformed into a pure, golden Grail of Heaven.
Before him appeared a face, a face that had been preserved in his long-forgotten memories.
No matter how time passed, it did not fade, eternally cherished in his heart.
It was none other than the face of the Holy Maiden of Winter from the Einzbern family.
Two hundred years ago, she sacrificed herself as a living sacrifice to construct the Greater Holy Grail.
Since that day, she had not aged a day.
"I ask of you, my foe. Why do you not want to die?"
Her voice, rising just once, was unforgettable.
"..."
A simple question halted Zouken's agonizing thoughts.
Why, why he didn't want to die?
Why was there no reason to die?
Clearly, ending it all would free him from all this pain and suffering, yet he continued to suffer, clinging tightly to life.
Why?
"Aahhh..."
He remembered now.
Yes, it began with a noble purpose.
Yes, he had only one dream—to eradicate all evil from this world!
Upon realizing that evil could not be eradicated, one could not separate themselves from it as a human.
He realized that humans could not depict the appearance of a utopia of his dream.
If humans had limits, then the only way was to transcend humanity.
For this reason, the initial trio who established the Holy Grail War system all made the same wish—to exceed the limits of humanity by surpassing the body and reaching the soul.
In order to achieve a world beyond human capability, they pursued the Holy Grail.
Until this miracle was achieved, they wouldn't give up.
No matter how many times they were defeated, even if they understood that their body couldn't reach there, they would never give up while they were alive.
"Aahh..."
Now Zouken understood.
For this reason, he must survive.
Even if he became a monster that relied on consuming human lives to survive.
Even if it was meaningless, he could only continue to seek.
Even if there was no happiness in the future ahead.
"Aaahhh!"
This was Matou Zouken—no, Makiri Zolgen's original wish.
Compared to this unattainable wish, his current wish not to die seemed insignificant!
"It seems I remember now..."
In a trance, Zouken saw the silver-haired, red-eyed woman revert to the black-haired, black-eyed boy.
"Aahhh..."
Even though he was near his end, Zouken, in the form of an ugly and grotesque worm, persistently questioned.
"A world without evil... can it be achieved?"
Upon hearing his question, the black-haired and black-eyed boy, Ragna, was silent for a moment before responding calmly.
"God is dead."
