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Demesne 21 - Checking On Corpses

🕑 Added 2021-03-22 05:01:59 +0000 UTC

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Ian Malcolm

"venom's" It wasn't really alive, given that Lori could see its open brain being eaten by slugs and small bugs, and undead, like wisps, would eventually run out of the magic imbued into it. -> ...and undead, like wisps, eventually ran out of the magic they were imbued with. They loaded the now-dressed abomination– no point wasting meat, and both hunters had examined the parts they were bringing along scrupulously, and intended to check it with those volunteering to cook as well– they loaded it up on some boards they'd taken from one of the surviving curing sheds. -> I'd probably remove one of the clauses within the parenthetical and maybe move that whole thing to the end of the sentence or make a new sentence. Also, right now it says "They loaded the now-dressed abomination they loaded it up on some boards they'd taken from one of the surviving curing sheds" if you remove the em dash stuff


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