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Demesne Patron EX SS 23 – Shanalorre's Morning, Again
🕑 Added 2023-02-20 07:46:19 +0000 UTCShana considered it an accomplishment when the last of the children from River's Fork were finally able to receive their own bath bucket and shoes. It was a modest achievement, but it was something she actually managed to attain.
It caused problems, of course. People accused each other of taking their buckets, until she'd been able to ask Ateh Koyan and Ateh Koyas to take their belt knives and carve people's names into their buckets. This, of course, led to requests like carving flowers, trees and little swords into the buckets. It had seriously tried the two women's patience, but they had managed it, even if the carving wasn't the best. Some of the other adults and young men and women of the demesne assisted as well.
Shanalorre would have helped, but Binder Lolilyuri's standing order that she not be allowed nor be near knives, blades, or other sharp objects continued, and so she needed to vacate her own house when the two were carving. Her belt knife was still with Lord Rian, and while he wouldn't let her use or touch it, he'd allow her to see it when asked to ascertain it was still in good condition.
They seemed to have no problems letting her use a shovel, but she supposed that was because it was very difficult to kill herself with a shovel. At worst, she could remove her toes, which would simply be painful and inconvenient.
Tonight, she had no need to vacate her house. Instead, she sat on her stool at her stone table, the glowing rock that Binder Lolilyuri had given her sitting on the far right corner of the table so that the light it cast was mostly blocked by her body. Behind her, she heard the children in her charge and tonight's visitors laughing and giggling as they tried to keep playing, even as they were laying out their bedrolls, blankets, and what they used as pillows. On the bed, Ateh Koyan and Ateh Kayas were laying out their bedrolls with Yoshka. Normally, Shana would have been sleeping there as well, and the two women would be taking turns sleeping on the floor, but Shana would be staying up tonight, and so would need to sleep on the floor.
On the table in front of her, a large tablet of pale, yellowing bone lay. Binder Lolilyuri had given it to her, telling her to write the laws she was compiling on it. Written on it in black char, divided into separate sections, were Binder Lolilyuri's laws and rights. Interspersed in between were the parts of River's Fork's own slightly more lengthy legal code. The latter was based on the militia law that most of the members of the Golden Sweetwood Company were familiar with. It was pared down to remove things like obeying orders from superiors, and similar matters that were specific to being in the militia.
They… hadn't really properly enforced it when she had ruled River's Fork. In hindsight, she could have. She'd had the broad support of those who had been in the militia—they had been her powerbase—who had obeyed and respected her position as the Dungeon Binder despite her personally being a child. Yet she had not imposed discipline from as she should have, save when Binder Lolilyuri had threatened her because the senior Dungeon Binder had been assaulted. Even afterwards, she had hesitated in punishing people as she should have, excusing offenses as minor, until they had been repeated as a matter of course.
She had simply wanted to take care of her people. And she had failed.
"Shasha, it's time to sleep!" Yoshka called out, and Shanalorre's writing stilled. She turned to look towards her cousin, who was sitting up expectantly. On either side, Ateh Koyan and and Ateh Kayas were getting ready to go to sleep, but as Yoshka's call they lingered, ready to get up and take one of the bedrolls off so one could sleep on the floor. "Come on, Shasha!"
Shanalorre glanced towards the bone tablet. It was almost finished. She still had a few more clauses to write, as well as the final section for the clauses she couldn't put under any of the other laws and rights, but there were really more of that. It was simply slow going because of the nature of her writing implements. The char on the end of her stick had been worn down, and she needed to stick it in the fire again for a moment so she could continue writing.
Checking the floor behind her to make sure there was no one there, she turn on her bench and got to her feet, walking around the edges of the room so as not to walk over anyone laying down. Writing stick in hand, she walked towards the bed, the smooth stone floor cold under her bare feet, even as the rest of her was warm from the heat coming from the fireplace. It wasn't a great roaring fire, simply one to ward away the spring night's chill. To her, it felt like a summer night, but she knew it would get warmer still in the months to come.
Ateh Kayas moved out of the way to let Shana sideways on the bed. Opening her arms, she held her cousin, who responded in kind. Yoshka lay her head on Shana's chest, and for a few moments the two of them rocked sideways together. Then Shana sighed, and pulled away slightly so she could look down on the younger girl. "I'll go to sleep later, Yoshka," she said, trying to make her voice soft and gentle. "I still have something to finish."
"You've been saying that…" her dear cousin sighed, disappointed.
"Tomorrow, I promise," she said, "I'll be done then." She leaned down and kissed the top of Yoshka's forehead. "Ateh Koyan and Ateh Kayas will keep you warm tonight."
"They're too big," Yoshka pouted. "And heavy." Arms tightened around her possessively.
Shana smiled gently for her cousin's sake. "Why don't you take my pillow and hold that instead?" She'd be able to sleep without a pillow for one night.
"Don't want it… Tomorrow? Promise?"
Shanalorre nodded. "Promise. Sleep well, Yoshka."
By the time she was able to disentangle herself from her sleep cousin and Ateh Kayas was finally able to lay down and let Yoshka hug her arm, the other children had settled down and were doing the little poking and prodding to get comfortable. By the time she'd sufficiently charred the end of her stick again to write with it, the first of the snoring had started.
Shana walked back to her table, seating herself on her stool once more, and continued writing. Next to the table, her bedroll, blanket and pillow were set aside, ready for her to lay out when she finished writing. Sitting with her back straight to maintain her posture, Shana continued writing…
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It took a few more trips to the fireplace—which she had needed to add a little firewood to—before she had finally finished. A sigh escaped her lips as she set down the charred stick. The house was quiet save for the various kinds of snoring as Shana carefully stood. While her mind felt clear, her body felt inclined to be sluggish, and the discontinuity made her move sluggishly rather than try to force herself to swiftness. Still, it wasn't enough to impair her as she picked up her bedroll. Most people were crowded towards the bed and fireplace to be warm.
Shana was kneeling down so she could lay out her bedroll in the open space towards the door when she noticed that the person she near her was awake and staring at her.
"My apologies, Karina," Shana said quietly as she continued lay down her bedroll. "Did I wake you?"
Karina blinked, and then more awareness filled those eyes. "Oh," she said, her voice sounding surprisingly loud in the silence. She seemed to realize, because her next words were quieter. "Oh, you're done." Karina shook her head tiredly. "I was waiting for you to finish," she said. She raised the hem of the small blanket she had. "Do you want to share to get warm?"
She looked at the other girl in surprise as she set down her pillow. "I wouldn't want to be a bother…"
Another shake of her head, though this time Karina blinked sleepily. "It's your house. You shouldn't be cold." She flapped the hem of the blanket again.
Wordlessly, Shana unfolded her blanket and handed one end to Karina, and then pushed her bedroll closer so that it would overlap with the other girl's own, thinner bedroll. She also offered her pillow, and her once-guide put one end over the part of the pillow she was sharing with the boy next to her to make it thicker.
Tempting as it was to let herself flop down on her bedroll, Shana lay down carefully. Her own bedroll, despite being thickly padded for the northern weather she had been born to, would not really have been much cushioning for that sort of impact. Once she was lying down on it, however, it was just soft enough to be comfortable.
Karina tugged at her, and Shana reluctantly shuffled closer, then closer again as their sides pressed together.
"Sleep well," the other girl said, her voice already half-muffled with encroaching sleep.
"Sleep well," Shana echoed, finally closing her eyes. She let herself calm, let the sluggish pervading her body come ofer her like snow falling from a roof, burying her.
As the last light of consciousness was snuffed by the void of sleep, Shana sobbed.
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Shana left the comforting abyss of empty, thoughtless sleep, and everything hurt all over again. Tota was dead. Tyatya was dead. Dyadya resented her, and was angry all the time. She had failed. She was…
… not alone.
Around her, she heard the sounds of Ateh Koyan and Ateh Kayas rousing the sleeping children, who were either groaning and trying to be drowsy a little longer, or were already getting up and putting away their bedrolls. Suppressing a groan, Shana took several deep, calming breaths as she buried her face on the back in front of her, wiping the tears from her face. With each breath, she felt magic filling her, enriching the life within her, energizing her thoughts, even if she didn't want it to, even if all she wanted was to forget…
"Shasha? Are you all right?"
Yoshka's voice came from over her, and she strangled her silent sobs. Some days were easier than others. Not today.
Shana rubbed at her eyes under the blanket one last time before she slowly sat up. "I'm up, Yoshka, I'm up," she said. "Just cleaning my eyes so the colors don't grow on it."
"Well, get up, we can wash in the bath," Yoshka said happily.
Shana, face still wet but composed, methodically dabbed at her face with the blanket and slowly arose. "All right, Yoshka, I'm coming," she said. "Why don't you go get your bucket ready?"
Yoshka smiled widely, then headed for where the buckets were stacked.
Next to her, Karina immediately sat up, and Shana wondered how long she had been awake. Likely the whole time.
"I'm sorry for not waking immediately," Shana said as she forced herself to rise and started folding her blanket.
"It's all right," Karina said, starting to tidy her bed roll.
The two worked quietly, putting away their beddings quickly and efficiently.
"Thank you for sleeping with me last night," Shana said quietly.
Karina paused in folding her own thin blanket to pat Shana on the shoulder reassuringly. "Of course. Next time, sleep earlier."
Shana nodded. "I should be able to, now." The laws had been finished. She'd be able to present it to Binder Lolilyuri after breakfast.
Putting her beddings on top of her bed, Shana began assisting the two pink-haired weavers in making sure everyone had their bath buckets ready so they could wash up in the bath house. Distantly, she could feel the people of River's Fork, most of whom were still sleeping, the rich, energetic sparks of life lying still on their beds. Some were awake though, and she could feel them moving, doing exercises made habitual from their days in the militia.
They were nothing to do with her. She had failed them. Binder Lolilyuri was their Dungeon Binder now. All she had to worry about were whether the children around her were well, and in the mornings, that meant ensuring they bathed quickly so that they did not miss breakfast.
She could do that. She could do that…
Comments
CringeWorthyStudios
The fact that her uncle clear resents her and hates Lori is already bad enough on its own, but yeah, when you consider that if he hadn’t forced her into becoming the dungeon binder she’d still be able to be a child it’s just so much worse. Even though she lost her parents, if she wasn’t the binder she’d be able to recover on her own with time.
Gwendolyn Simmons-LaRose
"...discontinuity made her move rather than try to force herself to swiftness." There should be some mention of slowness or something here
ManguKing
Uff this one hurt. Reminds me of when I finally process all that I had lost due tk betrayal. I just broke down in tears until someone texted me
Anton Shomshor
The depths of Shana’s depression is so heartbreaking. Had the core remained unclaimed, much of the burden she feels needn’t exist as Lori would have claimed River Fork.
