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Demesne 415 - You Won’t Be Alone
🕑 Added 2024-03-21 16:00:04 +0000 UTC…
…
Shana’s left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen, then went back to eating her lunch. With her final responsibilities discharged, she had nothing more to do until it was time to return to Lorian Demesne. Around her, lunch was being drawn out as the children ate their meals, which was the same sort of stew and bread that was served in Lorian Demesne, even if the recipe was a bit different. The stew had fruits—pink ladies—instead of tubers, and the meat used in it seemed to salted and smoked rather than relatively unaltered frozen meat. That made the stew both fruity and salty, while the bread had small bits of fruit in it, giving it a slight flavor.
It was more flavorful than what she had eaten back when she had been in charge of River's Fork, although to be fair she had needed to cook her own food, and she had been lacking in time to cook anything more complicated.
Next to her, Binder Lori and Lord Rian were speaking. "—could fill the reservoir the hard way, one bucket at a time," the latter said. "After all, there's no rush. We can take our time filling the reservoir. It's not meant to be a drinkable supply of water, after all. That's what the water barrels are for, even if they need to be rotated out every week."
"Hopefully not simply one bucket at a time," Binder Lori said, but nodded. "Very well. If necessary, I could simply add more water to it in the event of a dragon."
"I think even with a dragon, there'd still plenty of time to drag two or three barrels worth of water up to the reservoir. Of course, you realize what this means, right?"
Binder Lori eyed him suspiciously. "What are you talking about, Rian? The reservoir is almost finished. That means the work is almost done. There's no realization to make."
"Ah. All right. Then I won't say anything."
"Good."
"Congratulations on being done, then! Now the carpenters just have to finish with the doors, and the dragon shelter will be all—"
"What should I realize?"
"Don't make me answer, it will just make you unhappy."
"Rian…!"
A sigh. "Fine. Now that there's a source of bath water, are you going to make baths for men and women?"
"…" This was followed by a drawn out groan as Binder Lori's head slowly slumped down.
"I told you it would make you unhappy."
Binder Lori simply continued groaning.
"You don't have to build it. I'm sure people can make their own arrangements for bathing."
"They'll get dirty water into the reservoir or flood the floor if I don't do something," Binder Lori said, looking both distracted and resigned.
"Should you really be speaking so publicly about your low opinion of the adults of this demesne?"
"They were the reason they were starving. I have no evidence to prove they could act any more competently when it came to not tainting their own water."
Lord Rian shrugged, then looked around at the few people who could hear. "You could just… not build baths and let them reap the consequences of their actions?"
"I have to be here the next time there's a dragon. I'm not putting up with just trying to bathe wherever."
"You could just make a bath for yourself. What's one more door?"
"I am NOT making a second water reservoir to catch all that bathwater."
For some reason, Lord Rian stared up at the ceiling. Eventually, he said, "Has anyone ever told you that you keep making things much harder for yourself than you need to?"
"You and my mothers," Binder Lori practically growled. "Things have to be done properly, why does no one understand that?-!"
Lord Rian just nodded. "All right… well, do you need me to do anything for you? To make things easier for you?"
Binder Lori just waved her had in a dismissive gesture. "Just see to loading the fruits onto the boat."
Her food not eaten, Shana decided to interject. "Is there anything I may assist with, Lord Rian?"
Binder Lori's head snapped to look at her, as if the woman had forgotten Shana's presence… which might actually have happened.
He glanced towards Binder Lori. "Do you want her to do anything specifically, your Bindership?"
The Great Binder's face returned to her usual glare-like expression in repose as she considered Shana. "If you have nothing more to see to here, then you should head back to assist…" She looked around the table for some reason, as if she expected something there, before grumbling and reaching down to her belt pouch, which she rifled through and until she drew out a piece of rock. "…Taeclas with imbuing the crops in the dungeon farm."
"There… aren't anymore crops in need of imbuement in the Dungeon Farm at the moment, Great Binder," Shana said.
"She wouldn't have a lot of time anyway, it's already past noon," Lord Rian pointed out.
Binder Lori looked beyond the dining pavilion, looking at the angles of the rays of sunlight shining down through the dome, then grunted. She looked towards Shana. "Make yourself useful and be ready to return with us when we leave."
Shana nodded. "Yes, Great Binder."
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Shana spoke to Lord Yllian to learn about the demesne's current state and to learn where she could be of most assistance. There'd been some mild injuries with the mine workers that morning. Wizard Lidzuga had killed the dust life around the wound and sealed the skin closed again, preventing infection, but there were still some bruises that he hadn't been able to heal completely at the moment. Wizard Lidzuga was also doing some maintenance on the houses, but that wasn't something she could really assist with beyond imbuing, and they already had an arrangement where she imbued any new deactivated meanings that he left behind at the end of the day.
She went to the mine to offer healing, using her glowing stone to help her navigate the tunnel, until she reached where the miners were. The mine had extended by another five paces, beams placed every so often to support the low ceiling. While Shana could navigate the tunnel comfortably, most adults would have needed to stoop slightly. She made a note to bring the matter up with Binder Lori. The walls on either side seemed bare of ore, so there would be no loss for the Great Binder to reshape it into something easier to traverse. Shana healed the injured miner—Master Cymbelry—as well as the other minor bumps and bruises the miners had accrued while they worked but had not resulted in wounds, such as bruises and some aching muscles. There was little she could do about the coughs some of them had, as that was a result of the dust. Wizard Taeclas and Wizard Lidzuga would be able to do more, or even the doctors and medics.
On her way out of the mine, Shana encountered Binder Lori, who was walking behind a large mass of stone that rolled and flowed like clay ahead of her, her staff in hand and its metal butt cap touching the mass as she guided it with Whispering. The Great Binder's face was sweating, her expression set in a glare that was probably actually intended to be a glare, and despite the fact she was in the mine she was still wearing her hat. Auntie Riz and Auntie Sintelerra followed behind her, the two nodding to Shana as she fell into step with them.
The Great Binder dragged the stone over to a pile of mismatched, swirled looking stone, adding the stone to the mass. When she finished, she didn't so much nod in satisfaction as sigh in relief, turned to go back into the mine, and went stiff when she saw Shana.
"Great Binder," Shana said, standing with her hands folded in front of her, on the other side of Auntie Riz and Auntie Sintelerra.
"Binder Shanalorre," Binder Lori said tiredly. "What is it?"
"Have you examined the sections of the mine that are being actively delved for copper?"
As Shana explained her observations, Binder Lori's face became more and more displeased. Once Shana would have been concerned, as it was not unknown for a militia officer to take their anger out on their subordinates. However, that was not a concern with Binder Lori. The only ones she threatened violence on were those who broke her rules and Lord Rian, who admittedly occasionally provoked her. As such, Shana had no fear as she reported what was clearly more work for Binder Lori to do.
"Your observations are noted, Binder Shanalorre," the Great Binder said in what was almost a sigh. "I'll… get to it eventually." She waved a hand dismissively. "Get back to work."
Shana spent the rest of the afternoon trying to obey orders and making herself useful. She helped Wizard Lidzuga perform maintenance on the dome, which involved her claiming and imbuing large quantities of the life of the trees that composed it and allowing the more experienced Deadspeaker to take her claim. This allowed him to have access far larger sections of the dome in a much shorter time than if he had tried to claim the life himself. This allowed him to examine large sections of the dome and tame the necessary meanings needed to maintain the dome's structure. Dead portions were carefully ejected so they wouldn't succumb to fungi and decay, and new branches were induced to grow and repair breaks in the dome.
If nothing else, the dome was in place now, and they needed to make sure it didn't break down and possibly hurt someone when it fell to the ground.
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When late afternoon neared, Shana perceived Lord Rian entering the mine and moving towards Binder Lori. When they and the aunties who'd been escorting the Great Binder exited the mine and started walking towards the docks, she knew it was time to go. Excusing herself to Wizard Lidzuga, Shana began making her way to the docks.
"Shasha, Shasha!"
Her footsteps paused, and she turned to find her cousin rushing towards her, a big smile on Yoshka's face. "Are you done now?"
Shana nodded. "Yes, I am done working for the day."
"So we can go to the baths now?" Yoshka asked eagerly.
Shana hesitated. "I can't go to the baths with you, Yoshka," she said. "The Coldhold will be leaving soon, and I need to be on it."
"You're leaving?"
"Yes, Yoshka. I need to return to Lorian Demesne."
"But… but you said we didn't have to go back there anymore! You said that we could live with tota and tyatya again!"
Ah. Shana realized that she had erred at some point. "Yoshka, I said you could live with mushka and dyadya again," she said, doing her best to be gentle. It was becoming difficult, as the distress was arising within her at seeing Yoshka starting to become upset. "However, I have to go back. That's where I live now—"
"No! No, I don't want you to go!"
Shana had to step back to balance herself as Yoshka hugged her torso tightly, just barely managing to raise her arms to keep them from getting trapped. "Yoshka, please let me go…" she said gently, even as thoughts filled her. She could just stay here. Here, she could be with Yoshka. She wouldn't be alone here.
The petulant child wanted to stay.
“I don’t want you to go! Don’t go!” Her cousin did as well
However, Shana was a Dungeon Binder. And Dungeon Binders fulfilled their responsibilities, despite what they wanted to do. Despite how hard it was. Regardless of whether it made them cry.
…
But Dungeon Binders also indulged children. Even petulant ones.
Shana blinked, and everything hurt all over again. Tota was dead. Tyatya was dead. Yoshka was crying in her arms, begging her not to go, asking her to stay…
The tears she’d been keeping inside flowed down her face as she knelt down and hugged her cousin. She couldn’t lose her! She couldn’t lose Yoshka!
The two sobbed, simply holding each other.
She could stay, Shana realized even as she cried. Her clothes, bedroll, and other things were still in Lorian, but she could borrow clothes and share Yoshka’s bedroll, small as it was. She could just stay here, and not go back to Lorian Demesne. Here, she’d be with Yoshka, and Verik, and mushka, and even dyadya…
But Mushka had grown distant from her… and dyadya resented her because she had decided to take her responsibilities as the Dungeon Binder seriously, and not simply be a figurehead for him to rule the demesne through…
And… if she wasn’t taking care of her responsibilities… if she simply did nothing… there would be nothing to distract her. Nothing to keep her from thinking about…
A sob tore itself from Shana’s throat as she buried her face against Yoshka’s shoulder. It hurt. It all hurt. Why did everything have to hurt? Why did tota and tyatya have to die and leave her alone?-! Why? She didn’t… She couldn’t… She…
A scream tore itself from her mouth. She didn’t want to feel like this! It hurt… it hurt so much! She wanted it to stop, she wanted it to stop, she—
…
Her sobbing slowed, even as her shoulder’s continued to heave from involuntary movements, and Yoshka continued to clutch her tightly. Her breathing slowed and evened out, and the intermittent spasms slowly vanished, even as Yoshka’s own tears began to calm. Even a child only had so many tears. Eventually, Yoshka’s own tears stilled, although she continued to hold Shana tightly.
The two stood there quietly, Yoshka’s shoulders still shaking.
“Yoshka,” Shana said, her face smooth, her voice even save for a few involuntary shakes, “I need to go.”
“Don’t want. S-stay,” her cousin said stubbornly.
“Yoshka…”
“Don’t w-want you to go. Don’t want to b-be alone. D-don’t go.”
Shana closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Yoshka, you’re not alone. All the other children are here. Nera, Ardlia, Febe, Adgwyne… they’re all here with you. You won’t be alone.”
“Not the same,” Yoshka said stubbornly. “Not you. You’ll b-be gone…”
“I’ll come back. I’ll come visit. I’ll only be gone for a little while, not forever. Even if I’m gone now… I’ll always come back. I can come back. And while I’m gone, you won’t be alone. Verik will be there.”
Yoshka didn’t let go. “I don’t want you to go,” she insisted stubbornly.
Gently, Shana picked up Yoshka and began walking.
Comments
CringeWorthyStudios
… at least it’s progress?
Kitty kat
Ah, poor Shanalore is finally getting some cathartic release, another small step in the direction of better mental health. Shes grown up too fast, now she has to let her natural childish self have her time.
