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Demesne 483 - Depleting Capacity

🕑 Added 2025-04-27 16:00:09 +0000 UTC

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ElricFlairgold

'paper onto the tablet so they would be blown away by the breeze' <- This would should probably be a wouldn't.

prentice barry

there is a paragraph that is rather disjointed or has missing/incorrect words, ive included it here to assist with editing and have seperated the problem sentences with a // to identify them easier, with a duplicate sentence with some hopefully helpful edit suggestions below marked with * to identify them, as well as using ?? to indicate parts that i dont have a suggestion for that works hopefully this helps and thanks for the chapter ------------------------------------------------------------------- For the first time since she’d created this binding, Lori focused her attention on the lightningwisps within the lightning ball. //She wasn’t something she’d have been able to do it she was a mere Whisperer rather than a Dungeon Binder.// (She wasn’t *sure* she’d have been able to do it *if* she was a mere Whisperer rather than a Dungeon Binder) Well, not as easily, anyway. She’d have only been able to perceive the loose lightningwisps if all of the air inside the lightning ball had been claimed and bound to her will, though not necessarily as part of the binding, //but simply at allow her awareness within the volume. Unfortunately, with the inside of the binding getting out enough to actually ignite the air… well, no air, no claim.// (??but simply at allow her awareness within the volume.?? Unfortunately, with the inside of the binding getting *hot* enough to actually ignite the air… well, no air, no claim) ---------------------------------------------------------------- //Lori wasn’t really sure as to how much lightning was passing through the conduit—she didn’t have tool to quantify—but she was making the water explode on contact, so she must have been doing something right.// (Lori wasn’t really sure as to how much lightning was passing through the conduit—she didn’t have *a/the* *tool/tools* to quantify *it*—but she was making the water explode on contact, so she must have been doing something right.)


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