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Flipping Haunted Houses For Fun And Profit! 1.16 - Free To Good Homes
🕑 Added 2024-11-11 04:00:02 +0000 UTCLoren hadn’t actually had a plan for what to do after all the plamo figures started raising their hands. He also severely underestimated how creepy it would be to see so many seemingly-inanimate dolls simply start moving. All over the shelf, model figures start raising their arms. Some of their movements were stiff and jerking, but others moved with surprising smoothness. Turning, he saw figures on the other shelves moving as well, including the foot-tall pair on either side of the image of the goddesses, both holding their detailed plastic sword and gun over their heads.
He made a show of looking around. “Huh. A lot of you, aren’t there? Would you all mind holding that pose for a moment, I need to count you all.” So saying, he took out his phone and opened the calculator, and began counting the models with their arms raised. “Danny, you might want to prioritize packing these ones to go with your favorites. They’ll appreciate not being left behind.”
Danny was looking at all the display shelves, where all the figures had once more returned to immobility in their new poses. “Did you do that?” he said.
“Only by asking them,” Loren said. “I’m a Flame mage. If I tried to make them move, it would involve setting them on fire.” Did the figures nearest to him lean back slightly? “They all did it themselves. Have you ever seen the movie Doll Story?”
Comprehension came over Danny’s face, followed by frown. “But wait, these aren’t dolls! They’re plamo!”
“Yes, I admit that bit is misleading, but from our research it’s close enough. And they’re obviously moving, so…” Loren shrugged with an air of ‘that’s how these things work, what can you do?’. “Well, one way or another, their situation will have to be dealt with as part of the house. Obviously it would be needlessly cruel to just throw them away, but if you can’t take them all with you to Lasablica, the responsible thing to do is to find them good homes.” He leaned closer towards Danny. “Though between you and me, I think it would be better to bring as many of them with you as you can. Can you imagine the ScryVid videos you could make with these guys? Instead of just dioramas, you could actually replicate battle scenes.” Loren frowned. “Well, that might be getting ahead of ourselves. First they’ll need to see the shows, then they’ll have to learn how to act.”
He shrugged. “For those who you can’t bring with you… your dad probably knew local hobbyists, right? They probably wouldn’t be interested in common units, but would they be interested in ones who can move? At the very least it might make it easier to find new homes for them. The alternative is donating them as toys to the temples, and if you’ve seen Doll Story 3… well, would you want that to happen to someone you know?”
A disturbed look came over Danny’s face, meaning he obviously had seen the movie. Out of the corner of his eye, Loren saw one of the figures hold a laser sword accessory to its neck and mimed cutting, while another pointed its gun to its head.
“I’ll… I’ll see if I can find dad’s contacts,” Danny said, looking around at the figures on the shelves. Loren was still doing a count—nothing the number of figures with their arms raised on a shelf, adding the number to the total already in the calculator, then moving down to the next shelf.
“I’m sure they’ll be grateful for the effort from their big brother,” Loren said. “I’ll need to count the ones in the other rooms as well, so I might need your help with that, if you’re willing. The plamo there might not have heard us, so we’ll need to tell them.” He nodded at number 14. “Perhaps your favorite here can act as a character witness.”
The little figure in question nodded.
“Thank you,” Loren said, acknowledging the plamo specifically. “Could you keep your arms raised, please? I haven’t gotten to counting your shelf yet.”
He’d done a few shelves when he saw Steve, still talking to Mrs. Halili, wave for him. Noting where he’d left off—“You guys can put your arms down now, I’m done counting you. The rest, just hold on a bit more, I just need to talk to your mom,”—he joined the two of them. “Yes, boss?”
“Loren, can you explain to Mrs. Halili what’s going on here?” he said, gesturing at the shelves with his hand.
“Yes, sir.” He turned to the homeowner. “What you have here ma’am is a case of tsukumogami. It’s a bit of a complicated case, since it’s a form of haunting that is usually limited to Amatsushima, but the gist of it is that… well, your husband and children cared for, paid attention to and took care of these plamo so much that they basically came to life because they felt loved and appreciated. As you might have noticed, the haunting behavior so far has been mild and mostly to get your attention, or to discourage buyers in the hope that this meant you wouldn’t leave.”
Mrs. Halili frowned. “So… the haunting will stop if we get rid of them?”
“No, no, that’s the absolute last thing you want to do,” Loren said quickly, not looking at any of the plamo on the shelves. Even so, he could see that some had turned their heads in her direction. “As they are, the plamo are just worried about being homeless and abandoned. If you actually get rid of them… well, our research shows that usually leads to unpleasant consequences. Abandoned tsukumogami have been known to escalate to violence, and according to what I’ve heard, their first targets are always the ones who threw them away.”
True, but misleading. While there are certainly stories of dolls that were thrown away, lost or forgotten coming to haunt the poor girl—and it’s usually a girl—who thoughtlessly lost them, these usually ended with the doll somehow stealing the girl’s body, possessing the girl’s body—which is basically the same thing but with added helplessness and suffering—killing and replacing the girl, or causing the downfall of a family through bad luck, all of these were according to traditional stories. A spirit would be capable of body stealing or possession in real life, as spiritforms simply didn’t work that way. As to killing or causing a family’s downfall… well, all right, those were very possible.
“How exactly do you recommend dealing with these tsukumogami, Loren?” Steve said. “Since you say simply throwing them away isn’t a good idea.”
“Finding them new homes,” Loren said immediately as he tried to recall the relevant parts of last night’s research. “All they want is to be model figures. They would prefer that they be that with the family that they were born with,” he nodded towards Mrs. Halili, who frowned, “but from what Danny tells me, he can only bring a limited number of them with him when you leave, so the rest should be fine with being given to other people. From my research, as spiritually imbued items, a member of the family they’ve imprinted on will need to present them so that they won’t consider themselves thrown away or abandoned. In effect, you’ll basically be asking someone to adopt them.” He paused. “If that seems excessive, think of them like puppies.” He looked at the number on his calculator. “Dozens and dozens of plastic puppies…”
Mrs. Halili frowned, looking at the multitude of shelves. “All of them?”
“All of them,” Loren confirmed.
“Couldn’t I just… present them to you now and you could find someone to take them?”
To Loren’s surprise, Steve said, “Unfortunately, that wouldn’t work. Spirits need time to connect to new people. If we do what you’re suggesting, they’ll simply feel abandoned. However, we’d be willing to assist you in finding new homes for them. Loren here is our subject matter expert on tsukumogami. After we finalize the deal, he can take care of assisting you in finding new homes for all the plamo. Consider it our part in helping you move out.”
Subject matter expert? Did that come with a promotion? A raise?
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No, it didn’t come with a promotion or a raise. Just more work.
“Mrs. Halili and I have come to an agreement, so we’ll have the papers for the sale and transferring the title of the house prepared,” Steve said as they sat at the coffee shop later. Feeling like he’d done a lot of good work, Loren had decided to treat himself to a cookie. “Loren, as I said, you’ll be in charge of relocating the tsukumogami. What will you need?”
Lori considered the question. “Well, I’ll need to make calls as soon as Danny can get his dad’s contacts to me, and see who else beyond those would be interested in taking them in.” Tilting his head, he turned to Harmony. “Would Maddie or your sister be interested? Cute little dolls, free to good home, low maintenance, just keep them displayed where you can see them every day?”
“I’ll ask,” Harmony said as she reached for his cookie. He swatted her hand away. “How about you? Would you be willing to take in any?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe they’ll keep Sara company.” He turned to Steve and Malory. “How about you guys? Know anyone who might be interested? At worst they’ll be happy just standing there and looking pretty.”
“I’ll bring it up with my kids,” Steve said. “What will you do with the rest? Worse comes to worse, we might have to take them to the back and hold a funeral for them. How many did you say there were?”
“Including the ones in the hobby room and the ones in the bedrooms, we’re looking at a total of 1,456 plamo tsukumogami,” Loren said, suppressing his panic at the thought of trying to find a new owner of each of them. “The expensive ones, Danny will probably keep, tsukumogami or not. As to the rest… well, I’m hoping to contact local plamo hobbyists and collectors, since they might be more likely to actually take care of the plamo.”
“If I may make a suggestion?” Malory said. She’d ordered a brownie and a drink that had the words ‘ice’, ‘coffee’ and ‘caramel’ in it, and was using a fork to demurely eat the former.
“Please,” Loren said.
“At the Amatsumachi in Yurilao, there’s an Amatsushiman shrine,” Malory said. “In addition to worshipping the goddess in the style of their islands, they also do consultation on spiritual matters. They might be able to recommend something else you can do to settle the matter of the plamo. At worse, you might be able to leave a notice with them about the plamo who need new homes.”
“I’ll try that,” Loren said, making a note of it on his phone. Yurilao was one of the many cities that had aggregated together to make Selurong, and actually wasn’t far from his apartment. He’ll have to do some searches later, see if he could find a phone number he could call.
Steve nodded, turning to Loren. “It’s a good idea. Check it out tomorrow. And while you’re in the area, can you see if they have any good incense sticks? Pick up a few and I’ll pay you back.”
“Uh, sure. Can’t promise there’ll be any, though.”
“That’s fine. My relatives are getting bored with the kind we have now.”
Relatives… oh.
“Have you tried old perfume mixed with cooking vene?” Loren suggested.
