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Cross-dressing Dormitory 53
🕑 Added 2021-07-14 19:38:51 +0000 UTCOnce again I ask for your help. If you find any typo or any other mistake, please tell me
Erick stopped to take a deep breath when he finished. He looked at the last page he drew and was proud of it. Not because he had finished, but because it was the end of the first chapter of his manuscript, and to him, it was the best story he had done so far. This is good. I know I’m biased, but I can tell this is a good manga. And it has a lot of potential. I might be able to get serialized with this. No, I’ll definitely get it.
The story was a sort of reversed isekai. People from another world reincarnated in our world. Some had their memories from birth while others got them suddenly. The protagonist was from a noble family in his previous life who tried to make peace with the demon race to stop the war, but before he could, he was betrayed and killed. In his new life, he only wished for his reincarnated companions to live a new life without facing death all the time.
The antagonist was the opposite. He was from the church in his previous life and was opposed to peace with the demon race. Even after death, he still blamed the protagonist for betraying the human race and since important demons also had reincarnated as humans, he brought the fight to their new life.
There was even a cross-dressing character that Erick hoped would bring readers from his other pen name, though he wouldn’t announce it officially. He suspected some readers would realize the drawing style.
This story is good, but I can’t get too confident. It might have problems I can’t see because I’m too biased. I need to get a second opinion before sending it to Akira. A professional opinion, Erick though. He saved all his work, unplugged one of his laptops, and left his room.
He knocked on the door at the end of the hall. “Izumi? Are you busy right now?”
“Not at all,” Izumi said. He saved his work, closed his laptop lid, and looked at Erick. “Do you need something?”
Erick couldn’t help smiling. Even without Rin’s influence, Izumi was cross-dressing by himself. He was looking cuter and cuter as his makeup skills improved, though he was still far from the experienced girly-boys in the dorm.
“Yes. I finished my manuscript and I was hoping to get your opinion.”
“Sure,” Izumi smiled. “I just finished writing a chapter and I’m free.”
“Thanks. I’ll be in my room,” Erick said when he handed his laptop to his friend.
“You don’t have to go. I’ll finish this quickly.”
“I know but I can’t handle seeing people reading my manga,” he said with a meager smile.
Izumi chuckled. “I’m the same. Then I’ll go to your room when I finish.”
Even though he had been creating manga in Japan for a while now, even though he had sold his work directly to people, he was still nervous as he waited in his room. The minutes seemed like an eternity and his stomach tightened more than he believed possible. To make matters worse, he had a hunch this feeling would get worse if he got his series. I know I’ll get used to this on the job, but I still hate it.
Before he was ready mentally, Izumi knocked on his door.
“C-come in. Thanks,” he said when Izumi handed him the notebook back. “S-so? What did you think of my manga?”
“It’s good. I can tell you’ve been fleshing out our ideas for a while. The foreshadowing is good. I read it three times to get it all,” Izumi said. “The story is interesting. Even if it’s a draft, it makes you wanna read the rest.”
“Thanks,” Erick said, relieved. Hearing that from a professional writer made him more confident. “But I can tell you found something you didn’t like. Please, don’t hold back. I need honest feedback. It’ll help me.”
“As I said, I liked the story, but the antagonist feels a bit off.”
“In what department?”
“His motivations. I understand he recovered his memories suddenly and was confused, but specifically said he didn’t simply erase the life he had until now. I know he had a similar personality, but I don’t get why he was so obsessed with the protagonist. Even if he blamed him for trying to make peace with the demons, it felt a bit forced.”
“It’s because of his hatred. It’s stronger than all and clouded his judgment.”
“I see. I’m not a manga editor, but is it a good idea to show him waking up in the first chapter? You had a few people awakening, but I got the feeling only the antagonist was too wrapped in his old life. I don’t know if he’s your main villain for the first arc, but it made him feel a bit weak for that.”
Erick hummed as he considered. “You’re right. I didn’t think of that.”
“I-I’m just giving my opinion. In a novel, this would be okay. It’s not good to give too much of your story in the first chapter, but in a novel, it’s harder to add hints without seeming obvious. I mean, every word counts. But in manga, you can draw some detail and the readers might miss it. That’s why I liked rereading your manga.”
“Oh, yeah. You did that in the manga adaptation of your light novel,” Erick said when he remembered. “You’re right. I need to read my manuscript again and find where I can put this detail.
“The story is good enough and I’m sure Akira-san will accept the manuscript as it is. What I said is just my writer’s brain talking.”
“And I appreciate that. But I can’t have it good enough. I need to be great to convince the editors to serialize my manga. Thanks for the help, Izumi.”
“Y-you’re welcome. Are you gonna do this now?” he asked when he saw Erick plug in the laptop on the other and open the program.
“Yes. There’s a meeting in a week. I’m gonna use all the time I have to improve this.”
Using Izumi’s tip, Erick redid the first chapter that day. Though the chapter was essentially the same, the improvement was visible. He sent it to Akira, and his editor had even more ideas on how to make it better.
Though it took Erick until the last day, he had managed to finish the first three chapters. Instead of introducing the first antagonist right away, he made him stay in the shadows creating trouble for the protagonist. It was a test to see if the protagonist was truly a reincarnated.
On the day of the meeting, Erick couldn’t do anything. From the moment he woke, he could only think of it. I know it’s not like my dream will end if I can’t get a series right now, but that’s the best story I wrote. If they reject it, it’s gonna take a while for me to improve that with my current abilities.
“You’re not mulling over the meeting all day. We’re not letting you,” Rin said to him when he entered the living room. Mikki, Kanata, Izumi, and Yuuki agreed.
“I’m not doing that…”
“Please. Don’t try to lie to us.”
“We’re gonna spend the whole day with you to avoid this,” Mikki said.
“We’re going to the Hyouzan high school festival. Better be ready to have fun!” Kanata exclaimed with a smile.
Erick couldn’t help but laugh, once again thankful for the friends he had made in Japan. “Thanks.”
