Azazyel
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Diggy Diggy Hole Chapter 1
🕑 Added 2024-04-23 20:01:20 +0000 UTCI always felt like something was overly different about me in my rather short life. But it was only in death that I truly understood the true feeling of how misplaced I was.
"Dude... A midget Jake, you are literally one of out countless trillions of your selves... Fuck you actually died using a step ladder to get something on the back of a kitchen shelf and falling off the ladder ahaha!" My sponsor cackled making my eye twitch.
"Get it off your chest... I have heard it all after all." I said flatly.
My sponsor actually pointed at me as he cackled out through gut-clenching agony as he was wheezing as he spoke. "You failed at being the elf on the shelf! You literally died from falling from an adult's waist height hehe! You fucking had an elf, gnome, and the LOTR hobbit outfit! hanging from a super short hanger that you had to drill yourself in your closet!"
And without a moment of hesitation, I snapped forward with a kick slamming right smack dab into the back of the shin of my sponsor making his eyes snap open as he hopped on his other leg away from me. "Haha! You little shit that actually stung a little." But abruptly he stopped jumping around and playing around as he said with that same smile. "Nah just kidding, it would be a cold day in oblivion that a normie can hurt me."
My sponsor went over and sat down at the wooden desk and I likewise... Crawled into another chair with my sponsor's face twitching heavily as he held in his laughter as I had to climb up into the chair.
But once I got properly sat down in my seat my sponsor made a humming noise as he pulled out a file to look at my information. "Well besides your... Stunted figure, your soul is plenty capable of merging with a system or having a magical pathway imprinted into your new body." He spoke in a murmur before his face twitched as he read the bottom of the first page.
"Ok... You got some negative karma for using your dwarfism to sleep with dozens of women by preying on them using the excuse of gaslighting them into thinking it was on their bucket list. But that was due to another force watching your actions and teaching the karma of that... Hmm so in recompense for that you will be remaining a midget in your next life."
I took a deep breath hearing that and said flatly. "Well, when it rains it pours. So give me some good news."
My sponsor brushed his hand across his chin before he snapped his finger with a laugh escaping him. "Ha! I got an idea, you have to remain a midget and will still have some negative karma. So I will be just reincarnating you into an actual Dwarf in the world I will be sending you! Now... What kind of cheat would go well with a Dwarf?" He finished in thought.
Hearing that I obviously pointed out. "Well, as much as I want to be shitting lightning out of my ass as a scary ass mage, as a dwarf I need to be able to forge items of power and have the strength to acquire the materials in battle or through simple mining."
My sponsor nodded in agreement and then snapped his fingers with a grin crossing his face. "Alright! You convinced me to give you a system though it will have some changes my little friend. It will be a Minecraft-based system in its UI and some pre-downloaded information but it will also have some knowledge in it that you can reach into and used from either mods or just your own information... As in the real world, a pixelated style sword isn't going to be all that great."
I raised up a hand and then with all the seriousness I had, I begged for the most important part Minecraft weapon building. "Give me Tinker's Construct as well."
"Hahaha! Alright alright... You know, I made my own dwarves before I got married and settled down with my wife Sakuya. So this reminds me of the few times my dwarves got a bit stir-crazy and decided to leave my realm." My sponsor spoke with some nostalgia in his voice.
He then put his hands together and a purple sphere formed within his hands that made me feel like I was in a dark cave that was echoing, and then with a flex of his power I saw a strand of golden light get added to it and then he waved the sphere towards me with a smile as he spoke casually.
"Alright, here is your system with enough power to fuel its quests for a good few millennia as you are going to need it being a more long-lasting system."
The purple and golden-rimmed sphere floated into my body and I felt a blossom of warmth fill my body as my frankly stubby dwarfism-inflected body began to break down into motes of light.
"Wait!? Where am I going that I am going to need a system for thousands of years? Are you yeeting my ass to be a midget in a cultivation setting?" I demanded in confusion with my sponsor howling in laughter.
"Oh my fucking god yes that would be a delightful idea, especially with what has happened with my own journey of power... But no you are going to a strictly fantasy world my friend. You are going to Warhammer Fantasy after all!"
'I was born as a midget in my first life... And then I have to be reborn in Warhammer Fantasy, what mind-shatteringly horrible deeds did I do in my past lives to deserve this!?' I thought mentally howling as my body fully broke down into motes of light as my soul was whisked away through the void to be reincarnated in the body of a dwarf that came out stillborn.
-
I thankfully... Got to skip the lovely event that was known as childbirth as I awoke to the feel of stone syrup being ladled into my mouth while within the small temple dedicated to the goddess ancestor Valaya of Clan Barruk.
"He is a deep sleeping one. Slept right through being blessed and having his name written down in Grungni's temple." A female voice spoke as she carried me in front of me the large hearthfire that was the site of worship for the goddess Valaya.
Valaya one of the three great Dawi's ancestor gods was the goddess of the Hearth, Healing, and Protection. With her being married to the greatest dwarf god in Grungni and as my form came close to the flames their dancing slowed and stilled as my form closed in on them as the priestess brought me close to the flames.
"He has been accepted by Valaya, praise be to the mother and father." The priestess spoke as smoke from the great hearth fire caressed my form before retreating away as I was coming to terms with things.
And I already felt tired as as being a baby and being blessed as all dawi or dwarves seemingly took my mental strength away as the priestess coo'd at me and shook my whining form as she took me away to send me back to my parents.
In the coming days I learned my mother was named Kungina Stormgaze, Oathbound Keeper of the Flooded Grudge. And my father's full name was Uzrak Anvilhammer, Regretful Brewmaster of the Flooded Trove.
And those matching names to do with flooding was part of my clans history that I also played at wanting to hear more of as my mother Kungina loved to hold me swaddled up in a thick sheep's blanket as she told me soft stories of our Clan, Clan Barruk.
Clan Barruk, was now only a wandering clan of still good reputation after previously being a small hold that was built in the mountains, north of Peak's Pass and just south of the World's Edge Mountain Range.
Our clan used to have a small hold that was famous for mining up high-quality gold that was then enchanted with our clan's two runesmiths into powerful rune arms and armor that brought safety, strength, and wealth to the clan. But then even as the clan repelled constant invasions by the hated Greenskins and lumbering giants that came for the glimmering gold. The Skaven melted the frozen lake that was atop the hold.
Flooding the hold, and killing one of the clans Runesmiths before the clan could sally out in and slaughter the ratmen vermin.
But regardless of the clan's issues my mother was kind, loving and strong... I was raised by her for the most part as my father worked hard in making the clan good coin with our lacking of a hold to establish ourselves in making the best ale he could to sell to other dwarven clans and those copper-pinching Umgi merchants.
Mother without a doubt though was making me into a competitive racist. Making me think of humans as Umgis which meant inferior/shitty people, Orks as Greenskins or Grobs which meant rotten and foul, Elves as knife ears or Elgi which meant feeble and depending on the tone used in it... Oathbreaker.
Literally every single word to describe the other races in this Old World was racist as hell... And I loved it! I was going to learn how to make the best ale in the world and then when those fucking Biggers and Grots got onto my land I could happily shoot them with my hunting rifle!
After my mother, Kungina put me to sleep with a kiss to my brow as she whispered my given name of Kharn. She went to drink some ale and eat some melted cheese on some bread. I finally getting some alone time opened up my system.
And it was as barebones as you could imagine as it required me to earn all its effects.
[Kharn Lvl 1 Exp 0%]
[Skills-None]
[Stats Strength-1 Determines inventory size and physical strength
Endurance-1 Determines the user's stamina level, stamina recovery, and durability to all forms of damage including magical damage. Also determines the weight you may carry in each slot of your inventory.
Agility-1 The speed at which your body can move and your nerve's reaction time.
Dexterity-1 The level of control you have over your body and how precise you are with your body.
Mind-1 The measurement for internal mana stores and the amount of internal mana you may regenerate.]
Scanning through my system I realized that I had a Minecraft-shaped inventory that I could will open for easy use but each of the slots was locked beside the first one as each slot required me to have five points in strength to open it. And each slot could hold ten pounds of weight per point of Endurance I had.
'Ok... I am a super dwarf baby, now to just enjoy being a baby and not trying to be a super genius or whatever that will make my parents think I am some Warp abomination.' I thought as I considered on what my plans were.
Obviously, when I grew up and got some actual alone time I needed to see if I was magically handicapped as most any dwarf as I actually had internal mana. From a glance I didn't seem to rely on the winds of magic which carried the taint of Chaos with them.
So in theory I could put together my own spells or whatever, but Grungni knows if I can cast power word kill or shart rainbows out my ass that will turn Greenskins into charred piles of onions rather than just having to rely on the Winds of Magic inherent to Warhammer Fantasy or I have to figure it all out.
Time would only be able to tell.
But until then... I- I needed to shit. Stone Syrup did not feel good in a baby's body!
-
A few years passed by. And I, a spry grumpy five-year-old old was sitting in front of me ma who was staring at me with a look of disapproval. "Boy, you ain't going to the mines for another ten years at least!"
To which I thumped my thick fist across my chest as I said proudly. "Ma, I feel my heart thundering to the sounds of pickaxes, my mind sings the chorus of mining hymns! I yearn for the mines!"
My mother slapped me upside the head making my head snap forward as she retorted flatly. "Your head is going to be filled with the thundering sound of my hand tanning your backside if I catch you around the mines! We just got to this mountain and ancestors know what horrors lie within the deep dark caves we will run into as we begin digging!"
I pouted and my mother patted my head with a small smile as she said more softly. "You are trying to rush into the mines like any good son of Grungni would... I am proud of you, but you need to calm down and let your mother watch you in peace."
To that loving statement, I gave my mother a flat look and retorted. "You just want me to not get up to trouble so you can eat mushroom-laced cheese and drink Pa's extra ale."
We made solid eye contact as I looked up towards my stout mother and with her face wearing that same loving expression she squeezed my noggin as she said with amusement. "You are damned straight brat. Now go ahead and go play outside with the rest of the beardlings, you can go knap some rocks to make arrow heard or somethin' to keep your hands busy."
I pouted hearing her forbidding me to go to the clan's mines as we hadn't truly settled down in this area as we had only found some trace amounts of silver in the area.
Which although that could allow the clan to fill its coffers for the next few years while mining it. That would also attract the undead and beastmen as they didn't like silver being mined up in their area due to it being poison to them.
So not worth nearly as much as more fantastical elements or gold which was great for holding runes and just was pure currency no matter wherever the hell you were. But silver was dangerous due to it getting the attention of certain factions that obviously hated it being blessed and used against them.
Walking outside of our holdings that my mother and father mined out for our living quarters not to far into the mountain we were living within. And as I walked into the large hallway leading to other homes in this long hallway, I went over to a large circular area that was a rest area and with this being a dwarf living area.
Their idea's of fun was games like bowling while drunk, and their idea of hand-eye coordination for children was napping arrows from brittle stone that hunters could then make arrows out of.
And of course, for all the littlest beardlings like myself, we got the wonderful toys that were little stone building blocks and some little puzzles to train children like me to put stuff together.
I popped myself down into the ground and then took up my latest game as I found my 'hidden' favorite rocks to play with as I had over the last few weeks been working on a skill. [Archery Craft Lv 19] Working to craft the perfect body for a single-hand crossbow that matched the cheap little pistol grip crossbows you could get in a sports section in a store.
'I need to start somewhere. And getting a good crossbow would only help. Now I need to get some hemp, and other fibers treated with wax and stuff to make the strings.' I thought as I worked to use a flat but rugged rock to continue to sand down the grip and the section that would hold the wooden prongs to hold where the strings would go.
But as I was working on my 'toy' with a serious face I heard a series of loud thudding noises and I grimaced as I looked up and saw a herd of kids being pushed out of their homes with them coming out with toys like little instruments like flutes, drums.
"While the little beardlings are playing, I will get a drum for us to quench our thirst!" One of the mothers cheered with the other ladies sending her off with some coin while my mother came out of our abode with her bringing out a platter of spiced cheeses.
Knowing my time for work was basically over as my fellow childish dwarves swarmed towards the play area I rolled my eyes as I prepared to join in the time-honored dwarven game of fuck you I got the stick with an axe on the end that could also be used as a gun.
After using my amazing cheat that was reincarnating with a prior life time of beating people with a stick I went back over to my mother with proud battle scars covering my form as I began eating some rock bread with strong pungent cheese layered over it.
"Bah, your boy is like a general leading troops to battle but he takes after your man in just watching from the back with a pack of ale." One of the mothers teased seeing me relaxed watching the kids do battle with one another via the sticks the older dwarves brought into the hold from the countryside to keep us beardlings busy.
As dwarves were a hardy folk. So long as we didn't stab each other in the eye. Our strong and thickly boned muscular bodies would bounce back from most abuse we could heap on the other...
My mother gave my shoulder a pat as she said in bemusement. "You hear dat Kharn, old Bethial is calling you out for not fighting with the lads."
I gave her a flat look before I looked at one of the clan's fellow mothers and said with while calmly drinking my honey-tinged stone tea. "I will beat your son to tears if I walk upon the battlefield."
Some of the mothers laughed hearing my cocky childish words but some of the mothers... They knew me. They knew I was a cruel dwarf who would happily bring down others below my level, which was to say none.
Bethial who was a seamstress of pretty good standing hawked out laugh as she cheered. "Boy, you be three less winters then my own sprog. If you can beat him to tears I am willing to give your ma some extra threads to patch up your family's clothes and whatnot. It will be good for him not to get his beard tangled up in pride."
Knowing Bethial was as good as her word being a dwarf I seriously nodded as mother gave my shoulder a squeeze telling me to get her those threads... As to say nothing of myself, I knew my father needed his gloves and socks patched up.
Comments
scottyzelsnyder
As a huge of tinkers construct this is hyping me up
Goddess of Victory
Kharn...Warhammer... That sounds familiar
Goddess of Victory
Is the sponsor Moria (Mountain god), or is it a different Jake and maybe a different sources sakuya like "Utawarerumono", "SAO", or "Hayate no Gotoku!" ?
asdo
Excellent ~
Hmm is it time
Thanks for the chapter looking forward to the next one.
Rauko the varment
Lmao! Minecraft in warhammer fantasy? Sign me up!
Azazyel
Huh I will need to see if they are swinging anywhere near me
RNGGod3670
They are on tour right now in NA but are moving to Europe soon tickets prices are pretty low i only paid $27 for mine
juugo
I am a dwarf and am digging a holeee
juugo
Really hope he got the pam's harvest with the drinks add ons since uknow drinking dwarves
juugo
Yeah, it aint proper minecraft if it ain't got the thinkers constructs with a few add on mods for better things like emerald rods for stupid good regen just by holding the plain rod or thing with the rod also the asgardians armors add or something like that i remember it adds cool alloys and shit aaanndd armor stuff
Bishop7053
No don't burn the elves, cuck the elves, seduce and bang Alarielle the Everqueen, magic milf elf for the win. Also I was not expecting midget Jake ever, shits hilarious
Sebastian Ramsey
The fact this appears in my notifications a day after I start listening to wind rose (and other fantasy metal bands) must be some sort of sign
Meep_Meep
Burn the elves
Azazyel
I would love to see them in concert lol
Azazyel
Behold! Steve Grudgebreaker King of Karak Gundabad. Slayer of the end, and breaker of the dark champions!
ReadingShades
"Enslave" is a strong word... Specially since this Jake has experience rizzing and bamboozling the ladies so... just let him cook.
RNGGod3670
I quite literally just saw these guys in concert
Shin
Reborn with minecraft and not named Steve... Missed opportunity here
Dunkmasterjohn
Especially since most look down upon them (figuratively) I feel should be able to enslave some women from other races
Azazyel
Good thing there is a good bit commissioned lol
ReadingShades
Dwarfs... Where racism (and ale) is breed into their very blood and bones... Extremely justified racism in Warhammer got to admit.
Dunkmasterjohn
Cant wait for more
Azazyel
Hmm either way tech or magic could be interesting. Or just go a faith build that can use Elden Ring Golden Order magic as the Light.
Bio_Bill
You know who told me to kick your ass? YOUR MOM!
Azazyel
Also! Fun little thing to note. Moria/Touhou Jake is the one who reincarnated this one.
Azazyel
Warhammer has a huge fanbase... But not a lot of content creators lets be honest. But its Fantasy please keep in mind, its nothing like 40k
Ototsu_Yume
That sounds like a lot of fun, especially if he can somehow get SC tech, imagine the draenei crystal tech combined with the absolute BS that Protoss and Zerg tech can do, kinda curious how Zerg evolution abilities would react to the old gods too.
D3AD3CHO
I'm kinds disappointed that it's another warhammer jake but other than that in all kinds of ready for the next chapter
Azazyel
Damn right! Dig the deepest hole you can XD
Azazyel
Fair enough my friend. Warhammer Fantasy isn't nearly as grimdark as 40K if that helps. I wish I got a WoW fic going. I want to do great and terrible things to Jaina while having the MC have the Celestial Grimorie
Ototsu_Yume
Pity, I really dislike Warhammer, I initially thought he was going to be a dwarf in Warcraft or something instead. Good luck with this one, it won't be one I'll be following though sadly.
Traveling Toaster
I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE!
