Azazyel
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Gatcha life is for me! Chapter 1- Free write not commissioned
🕑 Added 2025-02-02 18:05:01 +0000 UTCMy reincarnation was as cliche as it could have possibly been frankly. I died literally instantly to Truck-Kun deciding to drive over an overhead pass through a guard rail. With Truck-kun falling like two and a half stories before smashing me into a paste with its front bumper/grate smashing me into the concrete below myself.
And where did I end up after my death? Did I end up in some inane primordial DMV where I met a big titty goddess who would give me a cheat or something? Hell no I didn't.
I awoke to my new life. A whole new life as a child coming into awareness in a cursed world. A world destined for death and destruction at best with myself almost certainly suffering a worse fate.
I really only came to, and fully digested my previous life's memories and my placement in this new life when I turned five years old... And that was when I fully realized what world I had been reincarnated into.
The family I was born into in this world was on the more well-to-do side of things, with my family owning a hospital that had been in the family for decades, and both mother and father ran that hospital like a well-oiled machine which made us plenty of money.
No, I learned the shithole of a world I was reincarnated into when I finally was able to move off of baby tv onto real-life news and a news article made me almost soil myself at the grand age of five years old.
[Zion and his wife closed another anomalous portal, this one seemingly sending out a stream of shadowy monsters that Protectorate capes spent the last four hours dealing with. Thankfully casualties from this so-called Shadow Monster event has been thankfully light at only three hundred accounted for dead.]
I was reborn in the world of Worm... But it was even fucking worse than normal Worm, because for whatever the hell reason. Earth and all the other alternate Earth's we could connect to. Were constantly facing extra-dimensional fucking invasions, by literal demons, monsters, eldritch fiends, and all other manners of horror.
I literally cried, cried the moment I was allowed to wander my large property freely only to be told by my indulgent mother that the walls around the estate were cold iron with salt-encrusted silver threading tying the iron poles of the fence together.
Because Great Britain wasn't a fucking thing anymore. The Fae had their massive S rank portal there that Zion, Eden, and OTHER visiting Entities couldn't deal with.
And even with my young mind I got a general idea of what was going on here... Basically Zion/Eden came to earth together to seed the world with Shards and whatnot. But there was an issue with that.
Apparently very clearly in history, a lot of the capes at the beginning of when they arrived had spatial, and time-themed powers... A lot of people said that Eden, Zion and the rest of the entities came here to help in preparation for the invasions that came about.
But no, I am fairly sure some asshole cape gone insane with their powers decided to open up a series of wormholes or something to fictional worlds or something as I recognized those 'shadow' monsters easily as being Grimm from RWBY even if they were hyper juiced up from the dimensional energies they were flooded with during their transit.
Another out-of-left-field thought was someone else got reincarnated in this world with a cheat or something. And they had some kind of power that opened up portals or something to fictional worlds. But instead of just going to those worlds, they just died like a chump and their cheat is now cursing the world or something.
The reason I was thinking the cheat was clearly a curse to this world... Was the fact that the one time. The one time that a portal/dimensional bridge literally opened to a heaven of some sort and beautiful humanoid angels flew out and investigated the world.
The Archangel that came through the portal to be with the angelic host, had it's voice stretch for hundreds of miles, with tens of thousands of people hearing the angelic voice call our entire world doomed to destruction via being an interdimensional nexus.
And then the angels literally just left and closed their fucking portal behind them which to this day was the only time a portal was closed by the invaders themselves.
"Jake, your mother is calling for you." My family's 'butler' Alphonse said as he opened my bedroom and I looked up from the game of Azur Lane I was playing on my phone to look at the older gentleman.
"Is she wanting me to do some new age ritual to do with crystals and salt lamps?" I asked dryly as a good portion of our wealth lately was selling 'health products' that were dubiously useful but with holy symbols and effects that were useful legally speaking.
Because sure, a Fae or ghost couldn't invade your house if you had a line of salt around it... But you know what's better than warding off a fae from stealing your infant from its cradle? Braining the bastard with the fucking heavy salt lamp in question.
Alphonse gave a wry smile and said indulgently. "She just said it was an important meeting about your future. So go on ahead and leave your phone behind... I wouldn't want to plaster a wall again after you walked face-first into it with your hard head because you were staring at your phone."
I pouted a bit and I jumped off my bed to stretch out my limbs as I tossed aside my phone while noticing I had a notification about all my stamina on FGO being full.
"Think it has any thing to do with my birthday next week?" I asked curiously as Alphonse closed the door behind me as I left my room.
And the older man just shrugged and said with an easy smile. "In either case, I will be heading down to the kitchen to start making dinner for you all. I planned to make quesadillas so do not snack too much."
I just waved off my family's caretaker and began making my way towards my mother's personal office where she spent much of her day doing important phone calls for Brockton Fucking Bay General Hospital that my family owned.
And as I walked through the large house heading towards her office I couldn't help the melancholic thought that ran through me. 'Seventeen years going on eighteen. No powers, or cheat alongside having no damned Corona Pollentia so even if I did suffer enough. I couldn't Trigger with powers.'
My life itself was pretty good with the money even I had available as a kid, but after being Truck-kun'ed into a pancake by a people's elbow from the semi-truck. A guy has to wonder when he is gonna catch a break.
I came up to the door with myself pushing it open after knocking only to pause with my body freezing as I saw my mother standing next to a man... Not a man, an 'Invader' that clearly wasn't human.
"Jake, it's good to see you. I wanted to introduce you to a family business friend. His name is Lazarus Lybarus of the Blood Dragon clan." My mother Alice spoke and I looked between her and the inhuman-looking man who naturally had a kill-order should he be found.
As 'Invaders' almost uniformly were entirely hostile, either in being literal monsters like dragons, demons, or eldritch horrors that would make you bleed out your eyes merely looking at them.
Hence why Invaders if found causing trouble were often just put to the sword as our world didn't have the resources or care to put them in prison.
"My name is Jake Bariss... It's good to meet you, and what business do we have?" I asked bluntly as I looked between my mother and the almost elvish-looking man wearing armor and holding a sword in his fucking lap and whose crimson-slitted eyes had never blinked upon looking at me.
My mother gave a small smile and said evenly. "He and his clan from his world buy large amounts of blood from our hospital, As he is a vampire and his clan are more martial-minded vampires who prefer to feat on warriors but don't mind donated blood they can buy."
I remained slightly tense but nodded and then I bowed my head to the man who finally blinked and said quietly with his voice hitting my ears all too clearly. "You fear me young man... That is good, you have your wits about you. But you shan't feel neither fang nor sword from me as your family pays a tithe of blood for your hospital to be unmolested by other nightkin or worse."
'Oh my fucking god. We are paying off a vampire noble family/mob to protect our hospital.' I thought with my face twitching before I coughed and said. "That is good to hear... Now is my birthday something to do with this meeting as Alphonse said this meeting was to be about my future."
There was a pause as my mother and the man shared a look before my mother verbally retreated with the man looking at me with a cool gaze before he explained cooly. "My realm's dimensional bridge was shut rather quickly by the one you know as Gaea, another one of those... Entities your world is protected by." He said with distaste.
"It's closing however wasn't perfect, much as being the case in portals being made towards worlds and realms with sentient and their own sources of power and bending reality." He continued with a cold smirk that was then wiped away as he continued.
"We have a good deal with your family, scion of the Bariss Family. A tithe of blood in return for hidden warriors that can feast on the dead and any bodies set for cremation being given to us en-mass for necromancy. However, the portal to the realm I belong to is closed for the majority of time."
"The full moon," I added and he nodded as the full moon always brought about the formation of new portals without fucking fail. Even if Endbringers weren't a thing in this world due to the Entities not wanting us dead or pushed too far.
It didn't matter when a kaiju or some massive horror would ALWAYS come through a random portal on each full moon somewhere on this world.
And thus the full moon would also weaken the seals on already closed portals with myself taking a deep breath as I realized what this man wanted. "You want to open up your portal then I assume? Where do I come into this situation?"
The vampire smiled but it was a cold thing as he slowly clapped his hands together thrice. "Truly, the advantages of common education. I do so enjoy not working with fools. It was agreed upon that you would be used as a conduit to the portal. I myself am not on this plane of existence... This is merely just a body I am remotely puppeting due to the portal itself even on the full moon not being strong enough to send a soul along to this oh-so-interesting world."
There was a pause as the vampire stared at me and then he said bluntly. "As for what becoming a nexus to the portal means... It's rather simple, the Lahmia necromancers and black magic user's back in my world will tether your soul to the portal allowing the portal to open more on the full moon allowing my kind to properly come to your world for trade in a larger scale."
"And is this to kill me? To put me in some eternal purgatory of agony as my soul is used as a doorway?" I asked quietly with my mother paling slightly at how I put it.
The vampire shook his head however as he said casually. "Oh no, that would be quite inconvenient, and despite your mother and father being willing to harm your eternal soul for generations of profit. The reality is that we are well aware that making too large or potent of a portal would have one of those entities come like an avenging god to smite the area."
That was oh-so comforting for me obviously. So I asked the next obvious question. "And why would I accept this? Accept something that you already said would fuck over my very soul? As should I have no choice in the matter, we wouldn't be having this conversation."
Lazarus's smile turned sharp with his gleaming eyes falling on my pale mother with her saying quietly. "Blackmail for trade we been doing for years. That and we would be further compensated and all care possible would be given to you by their people to help you."
The vampire nodded and said calmly. "So yes, as we have figured out over the millennia with you humans. Stick and carrot, the stick in this situation is your entire life being destroyed by this news getting out to the various government agencies that would have... Very interesting opinions on your parents selling the corpses of their fellow humans to be made into monstrous flesh golems."
"On the other hand... The carrot in my opinion is even larger and heavier than the stick itself. Gold aplenty, the highest quality shadow wraiths bound to your mother and father to protect them, and for you... You will be in pain on the Full Moon yes, but you will want for nothing as a few blood kin will be watching you closely for your health and... To keep your family well tied to our interests." Lazarus finished with a cold smile before he stood up elegantly.
And just the act of him standing up put me on edge. As the inhuman agility as he came to stand up in his bloody crimson armor was so smooth and unnatural I could feel my hindbrain screaming at me in warning of the predator in front of me.
"I will see you again on the full moon Jake Bariss, Alice... I wish you and your husband a good night." Lazarus finished before strolling out of the room and quietly closing it leaving me and my mother in a... Very awkward silence.
I pointedly took a different seat from the one Lazarus was sitting in, and after a moment I spoke aloud. "Assuming he has some ability to have left something to spy on us and this conversation mom. I have to ask this, why would you sell me out like this?"
My mother, Alice Bariss was a rather thin and normally beautiful woman to most other people's gaze. But she refused to meet my eyes before she said quietly. "They wanted you so they could tie this agreement for a long time. The reason that no fiends, monsters, and other capes have torched the hospital or attempted to loot it and succeed was with their help."
I grimaced as I said slowly. "The Merchants? That group that tried to raid the ER to get pain meds and shit. They got to them right?"
Alice nodded with her saying with a heavy exhale. "Correct, I... I don't want this obviously. And neither does your father but this deal has been in place since his own grandfather owned the hospital when Zion and Eden first came to the world. It's only now. Forty years later they feel assured enough to expand our operations."
I dragged my hand across my face as I tried to remember where the hell the name Blood Dragon in relation to vampires came from. But nothing concrete came to mind so I just snarked somewhat spitefully. "And I am going to have some heretical ritual done on me so I can act as fucking portal fuel? I highly doubt I will survive this with just some measly mind-shattering agony."
I myself stood up after a moment of silence as my mother refused to look at me and after staring at her for a long while I shook my head as this was the world of Worm... When it rains it fucking pours. And right now it was pouring shit directly onto my head.
I didn't wait for a response, I just left to my room and after arriving I just slumped onto my bed.
'Well talk about the worst fucking gift of entering adulthood. Not a car, not my dad cracking a cold one as we go to a titty bar or something. Nope, I get fucking staked to some ritual room or something.' I mused to myself as I took deep centering breaths to get my shit in order.
'Ok Jake... You aren't going to settle on being fucking portal fuel, so think. What are you going to do. I don't think I can safely refuse that vampire and despite Mom and Dad selling me up shit creek without a paddle, I do love them. We just have a load gun to our heads right now.' I thought before pausing as I recalled something.
I recalled how my dad oh so proudly told me how my phone was low-level tinker tech that was hooked up to Earth Gamma12's internet which was significantly ahead of our own which was how I was able to play the gatcha's I had been that was a mirror match to what existed in my past life somehow.
But the thing my dad bragged about was how he gave me nudges about how my phone couldn't be tracked due to it's Tinkertech nature along with having my internet history deleted every time I moved pages automatically... Which thanks dad, I didn't ever have to worry about Mom finding my history when she bothered to check.
'Maybe he was hinting at me to get ready to flee home... Maybe that's what he wanted all along and why he has been fueling my gatcha addiction and giving me a private bank account away from Mom's eyes!"
I took a deep breath as it kinda made sense. And I really wanted it to be the case as my dad was a good father, he wouldn't just screw me over... But would he kick me out if a psycho vampire was blackmailing our family and I had a good safety net and my own car to drive out of here?
Yeah, I could see him doing that...
'Fuck it... Good thing I already graduated, I don't have to worry about school or anything.' I grunted mentally as I got out of bed and grabbed my sports bag out of my closet that I used to carry all my track, and swimming clothes and I began loading up several extra pairs of clothes and such.
Then my phone in question buzzed loudly beside me on the bed making me pick it up.
Wondering if my mom or dad sent something to me in secret, but then I began cursing under my breath as my phone buzzed so hard it made my hand lock up and drop my phone directly onto my face.
As soon as the phone hit my face my vision darkened and I lost consciousness.
-
"Finally finally finally! I have dragged your soul to me!" A low feminine voice spoke in a strangled whisper of total ecstasy as my eye's blurrily opened but even as I tried to open them, my vision was dark... Clouded by something.
"Ohhh! I need more, more, more... I need so much, much more of you Commander!" The voice whispered and it was just so familiar to me.
"Who- Who are you? I recognize you, but I can't see." I whispered with my vision darkening as something seemed to be pulling me into darkness but I felt arms, and what felt like thin ropes or maybe linens take hold of me.
"No! No, my Commander! You won't be leaving without Taihou again! My love, my darling, my very reason to exist hahaha! Call me and I shall come to you with space and time not being able to prevent my love from reaching you!"
I awoke to my heavy ass phone still on my face making me blink and groan slightly before that abrupt dream slammed into my head and I froze. "Oh... Ah hell." I muttered as I held my heavy phone and inspected it.
And low and behold, somehow. My big titty Feixiao wallpaper on my phone had been replaced with Taihou herself in her brand new META form. And Taihou was insane and yandere enough without being in her META form.
For a long moment, I considered calling out to Taihou... Maybe the little tinker tech smash to the face actually meant something? But I just took a deep breath as I grabbed my shit and got going from my room and to my 1967 Chevrolet Impala that I bought and restored ever since I had gotten it at 16 when I got my driving license.
"Where the fuck do I go..." I muttered brushing my hand across my face before I took a deep breath as I knew that going to any friends was a bad idea. I need to keep a very low profile obviously.
I pulled out of my house and I shivered as I felt something prickling across my neck as I left it's boundaries. Then after a moment of thought, I drove downtown as at least there I would be 'safe' with how it was so heavily patrolled by the Proctorate.
After a good half an hour of driving I got to some good old American comfort food... I pulled into a Mcdonalds and got myself a burger to munch on as I considered things. Do I try to get an apartment? No that would be a bad idea as it would require alot of paperwork.
Not to mention that it woudn't be a quick thing, and being without an actual home even rented was a good way for some monster that had to worry about boundaries snacking on you... Homeless weren't really a thing in this world for a good reason.
I certainly couldn't fucking live in my car for that very reason. "As much as I would love to dump my issues on Crystal and the rest of New Wave. I can't put them in danger, to say nothing of how Carol would string up my family in lawsuits if that blackmail got out." I groaned to myself as I remembered Crystal Pelham.
Who in her Cape identity was Laserdream, a member of New Wave and somewhat of a family friend due to how Panacea, Amy Dallon working at my family's hospital.
I took out my phone as I wondered if leaving Brockon Bay was the right idea in fact... Though I knew that shit was also a terrible idea as well. Small towns had a habit of getting visited by a Slaughterhouse 9 equilvalent or worse with a random portal going unnoticed and leaking monsters and other horrors.
"Fuck it... Taihou? Taihou you there?" I asked in desperation.
That prickle I felt across my neck earlier? That was nothing compared to what I felt currently. It felt like thin, soft, but unbreakable ribbons gently but oh so firmly wrapped around my body.
And then the voice came out as a whisper. "Commander... Command- Commander! Commander!" The feminine voice gurgled as though she was fighting to scream out through the water.
Then looking through the rearview mirror as I was beginning to freak the fuck out. A pool of shadows had formed in the back of my car and like a deep black sea that had burning streaks of red flame through it. It filled my car and then as it reached my neck, hands broke through the pool of water with it going down.
Then from the pool of... Whatever the fuck that was came silky night black hair that was followed by crimson gleaming eyes that filled my darkened car with the rest of META Taihou's voluptuous form.
There was a tension-filled silence before Taihou leaned in, her large exposed milky breasts in her very open robe filling my eyes in the rearview mirror before cold hands went around the back of my seat gently and seductively ran across my neck with her nails like hot fire against my skin.
"Taihou," I whispered with her hands shuddering around my neck before I myself shuddered as watery noises rang out. With her hands moving and flexing as she sunk into that pool of darkness that was seemingly filled with fire. Before reappearing on my lap with the dark water fading away completely.
Leaving my bound form stuck in place as META Taihou, the most yandere shipgirl of them all sat in my lap with her large breasts pushing into my chest as she rested her nose against mine with her forehead against mine with her haunting fiery crimson eyes stared into my own.
Her soft hands gently cupped my cheeks and she whispered softly. "I am here Commander... I heard you call for me, and just as you pulled me from the sea to save the world. I will serve as your Taihou even in this new world and your new form."
"How did I-" I spoke with some rising panic before Taihou's hands squeezed with her voice taking on a hysterical tone as she cut me off.
"It's your love darling! Your love... Even from a new world, a new body for yourself! You are still my commander! The commander who would fill this hollow hole with enough love to exist haha!"
Seeing Taihou's eye's fill with madness and the fiery glow in her eyes brighten... I did the only thing I could do in my bound form.
I leaned in and kissed Taihou with my lips meeting her cool lips and I was answered with her going still in shock before she PUSHED into me with her moaning and shuddering in joy as she returned the kiss tenfold.
As I could... Literally feel her gushing and creaming her panties if she was even wearing any as my shorts got both warm and wet.
Comments
Wrath of Vajra
I miss Nier A New Hope story, that is a treasure, the apple of my eye.
Rauko the varment
'Mating press'-able?
Azazyel
Yup! Infinite birthing universes born of human minds equal a dimensional nexus that bleeds infinite energy
Azazyel
I do have 5 finished stories to be fair. But yeah this is a free write that won't affect the weekly update schedule.
juugo
Now now, he didn't get pancaked since he got hit by the grill he couldn't be considered a pancake but more of he got waffled
Evilhippy
He should just stick a shotgun in his mouth and try again on that reincarnation wheel.
AWG
He writes on commission, stories not getting updated is just because the people paying for stories aren't paying for *those* stories
Alexander Brown
Seriously? Are you just pumping out new stories to avoid finishing any of your old ones? Oh well. Another promising project I guess but I’m starting to worry if I’ll ever see an ending
Reviv3pls
Are those the blood dragons from warhammer?
Kyllix
Blood dragon vampires? Lahmia? Earth bet is doomed! Big bone daddy Nagash is coming to add your skull to his pope hat.
DarkthShadow
I gotta say, I am VERY interested in seeing where this fic goes, and Yandere waifu are top tier imo
Bishop7053
The entities are definitely just farming infinite energy from other realities aren't they? Earth is their ANSWER, so they sure as fuck aren't letting it die.
Bishop7053
So we got blood dragons from fucking warhammer fantasy wanting to use him as a portal into hell world. So he needs scathach from fgo to get a magic teacher and murder teacher able to kill fucking everything. Maybe also take a trip on one of the full moons to go to fantasy kill vampires and seduce alarille. Big titty elf milf. You know you want her. Do it. She could also be a way to seduce panpan. Really cool biology to seduce her shard and alarille is Healer YES. And could protect his soul from fucking anyone. She literally duel full power slaneesh for a humans soul and won. You don't fuck with alarielle.
Azazyel
Lmfao, especially if it's the big titty version of Sadako.
ZeroLink21
Well shit and I thought bloody Jake was kinda fucked this one seems to have done a cannon ball with lead shoes straight into the deep end tftc
Slayer 10321
I'm going to laugh if because of the Portals, Sadako (The Grudge) and that girl from The Ring appears and after choosing Jake as their next victim, Taihou-Meta comes in with the (metaphorical) steel chair and no-diffs them. Even better if Jake mistakes them for T-M (before recognizing them from a closer inspection) and then panic summons T-M directly to his side, where she goes berserk because she thinks that they're homewreckers muscling in on her turf.
Azazyel
Basically lol
Slayer 10321
Oh cool, you joined the 'Gacha Games IRL' trend and smashed it out of the park.
Leo
Best cheat in my book
Zerlestes
damn i bet the scion and co are ohh shit how the hell do we fix this before it kills us or maybe we find a better universe with longer lifespan
Azazyel
I... I won't say you are lying, nor that you are wrong. But ;P I need my Taihou.
Ferocious_Beast
You just wanted a fic where you got Taihou because she lost in the poll. Don't think you can fool me!
Laplase
Well, at least he has protection from the Vampires now... Because while normal Taihou may just destroy them, but Meta will be the worst Nightmare of any who try to hurt her "Commander".
Azazyel
Free write. Not commissioned and won't affect weekly updates
Shadoin
Seems like a fun story so far
Dat Man
Hmmmm....too yandere for my taste sadly to say but hilariously looking forward to the bat shit insane shit Jaker Man will be getting into
Azazyel
Brought to you in part by Bloody Evolution, as I wanted another story where I take a setting that's a shit death world... And make it worse. And just to pay an homage to Bloody Evolution, his first gatcha based waifu/summon is from Azur Lane.
SaffireSpirit13
Didn’t you say Crusader King was the last one? Then again this is a non-commission…
