Azazyel
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Gatcha Life is for me! Chapter 3
🕑 Added 2025-03-24 18:53:39 +0000 UTCWith my parents in a fucking jam to say the least, I was now turbo boned as I only had so much money in my private accounts that weren't attached to my parent's own accounts.
But still, I had enough for some measured living if I wasn't stupid. So I just took a deep breath and spoke firmly to myself. "Alright... Taihou me and you will just have to leave Brockton Bay in a couple of days, if not tomorrow seeing as my parents are going to be jammed up."
To say the least, I was feeling complicated about all of this, but there wasn't for me to do. At least, although my parents very well may be going to prison for a few years for engaging in illegal trading with Invaders.
They would be safe in prison at least... As they were very much rich white collar criminals. They wouldn't get put with murderers and other violent offenders who would hurt them or otherwise extort them.
Nope, the only people that would be extorting my parents would be the government... Yay.
Seeing Taihou come around my car, my lips twitched and disregarding the cold Brockton weather I took off my hoodie and said helplessly. "Taihou I beg you. Please cover up as you attract too much attention."
Taihou pouted at me but she took the offered jacket and slipped it on and barely managed to cover up her massive breasts with the zipper as she muttered. "Taihou will accept the compliment of her beauty... But I want you to look at me when we have time together."
And in response, I just took Taihou's hand into mine making her beam and she rested her head on my shoulder with an all too wide smile fixing itself on her face as she walked with me into the upper-end hotel.
As for why I picked a higher-end hotel despite it costing a good deal more money. It was very simple, my family still had their Ultra membership with this chain, and they had a number of services I was going to make use of.
Not to mention the most important fact of using the high-end hotel. They didn't ask questions once I confirmed my identity and within a couple of minutes, my luggage and myself were in a warded suite for rich people to have private meetings and events.
And not get spied on through any magical, power based bullshit.
Either way, once in the relative privacy of the warded room, I brushed a hand across my face before I pulled the room's line and I spoke into the phone. "Yes, I want a selection of thirty high-quality gold chains, no gems or anything like that. I just want some nice chains, and charge it to my family's main account."
Having some simple gold chains to sell off later on would do for some money. Seeing as I couldn't use the hotel to siphon the family's main account. But it would give me some wiggle room to say the least.
Then as I put down the phone, arms surrounded me and I felt Taihou's large tit's pushing into my back as she snuggled into my back.
"You are thinking too hard." She whispered into my ear. But I knew in my soul she actually meant... I was thinking too hard on things that weren't her.
So I did the smart thing and just held her hand in mine before I slowly leaned against her and she followed me as I walked us both over to the couch. And we fell together onto the couch with Taihou climbing onto me so she could lay her head on my chest, directly over my heart.
"I am going to take a little nap Taihou... Please stay with me." I spoke quietly as I knew those words would smash right into her yandere fucking cuckoo mind.
And I was right as she Taihou cooed and responded with sweetness. "Taihou will not be going anywhere my love. Just relax as I will be here when you awake a million times over darling."
So I just closed my eye's as today had been a total roller coaster of stress... And you know what? Having a big titty ship girl snuggling into me, and making me feel oh so safe did help me get to sleep.
-
"Yo dipshit wake up!" A male voice called out and my eye's snapped open as it sounded like my subconscious or something with how the voice was so similar to my own.
I looked around hurriedly before I realized I was in what was obviously some kind of therapy room with myself laying on the stereotypical leather couch.
And as I looked over to the side, and saw the copy of myself. I was obviously confused... Until I saw how his eyes were most certainly not normal. No they were a swirling rainbow that made me think of the Mystic Eye's of Death Perception from the Nasuverse.
"Uhhh... Hello? Is this a nightmare?" I asked blankly.
The copy of myself gave a wry smile before shaking his head. "Nope, my name is also Jake Bariss, I am an alternate version of you from... Yeah, anyway, when you died you kinda slipped through the net due your special soul."
I was silent as I waited for more information, as obviously there was more to this and my... Alternate? Evil clone maybe? Continued.
"So, basically, you have a hyperactive soul that would allow you to make soul bonds and deal with having hundreds of waifus and or husbands wanting your attention in a Gacha Universe. You would have made Ritsuka Fujimaru look like a chump with how you would twisted all those servants around your fingers."
"Anyway, point is. That your soul energy literally from your own mundane world using your computer and phone as a vector, touched variants of those gacha universes and in their view. You yourself were there, you carried them through battle, loved them, and in bled for them."
I raised a hand and he raised an eyebrow but nodded for me to go ahead. "So that's how Taihou found me. And what happens when I can't 'remember' those special times we had?"
The copy of myself smiled but it was a sad thing before he took a breath and spoke kindly. "You will find... That will not happen. When she, or other's question you on those event's you will remember them. You will remember the bonds as your soul bonds strengthen with your relationships rekindling."
I was silent for a moment, allowing my alternate to continue. "Now, normally I wouldn't bother with you even if you slipped the net. But you landed in Worm, with no powers to boot."
He shook his head and scowled with anger clear in his eye's as he spoke in a hiss. "A certain dumbass decided to fuse several universes together again... Trying to have a Worm universe with a fuck load of expies and to replace those useless alternate Earths of canon with other universes."
He took a steadying breath and I said quietly. "But they aren't just low-level universes... Warhammer Fantasy, RWBY, even old gods like Zeus and shit have come in multiples and been fucking over humanity."
"That Zeus bit... That's what happens when Percy Jackson, Marvel, DC, Shin Megami Tensei, and Persona's version of Zeus meet and decide to see who is the biggest douch bag in one sitting." He said with a groan of annoyance.
He shook his head and said. "In either case. Your universe is fucked... But even the entities see it's inherent value actually. It's so fucked in being a multiversal nexus that it passively is one of the cures of entropy due to all the other universes being in a feedback loop with the central universe."
"Soooo you won't take me to DXD? Sekirei? Or another easy titty land?" I asked blandly, already knowing the answer.
In response however, where I expected a laugh or a simple 'No' he reached into his desk, and I blinked as he pulled out a glowing purple orb. And then in inspecting the orb he spoke calmly.
"No, you naturally fell into that dog shit universe for a reason. Your fate remains there, but I will not leave you to your fate. With no powers beyond some overly devoted ladies that tear through dimensional barriers to get to you."
The orb then shot into myself making me jolt as I felt my body vibrate, and then my vision became of rainbow of multiple colors I couldn't explain.
"Now, seeing as your soul has made so many connections to gacha universes. I'm having this extra Essence of the Gacha, decided to give you this, along with some gacha points." He spoke with amusement.
-
"So just to keep things... Simple, here is what the Essence does,
1-You have the ability to randomly get one item, or person of importance in fiction per roll.
2-These things will always appear on cards and can be summoned out of it. However they can't revert back into cards once done.
3-You have access to a mental list that details every single card, and option in order to narrow down searches.
4-Cards can be used and burned to increase the strength of a summon item or person, however, these cards will be destroyed in the process. This increase is determined by the rarity of the card.
5- The rarity of cards are determined by the strength and the importance of the being or item.
6-Items that are summoned through the gatcha will always work no matter what universe you are in, and can never be used against you in any way. These items are always in perfect condition, and will not degrade in any way. They can only be used by you, and the only way for anyone else to use them is that they must have direct permission from you. These items are summonable and will appear by your side no matter what. Items that require things such as energy sources or ammunition will have infinite amounts of them, however, you can't siphon or use them for any other purpose.
7-People that are summoned through the gatcha will be loyal to you, no matter what their personality or alignment is and can't negatively affect, hurt or kill you in any way. If they are ever killed or injured, they will immediately be restored back to full health after the battle is done and return to your side after. They can disobey orders that they don't like so long as these orders don't directly involve you in any way."
After the seventh rule, I had to cut him off.
"Wait... You saying all my waifus are immortal?" I asked incredulously.
He gave me a wane smile and said coldly. "If you go into battle with those waifus and they can sure die. But if you die? Yeah, they all die instantly as they are a result of your soul bond holding up their own souls."
He took a breath and then continued.
"8- You get 1 gatcha point per day. You can get more gatcha points by paying for more Gacha points taken from materials and the realm core that allows those other universes to invade your own.
9- The gatcha has your summons, regardless of item, person, powers, etc all range in the 0-5 star range. 0 star items are items and people that you can get/meet easily in a mundane world, and likewise five-star summons are god killers, world breakers, and that which you will need your own power to summon lest your soul breaks."
-
My sponsor, as who else could he be at this point took a deep breath before he finished by saying. "Also, your soul can only house so many cards' worth of stars right now. Thirty stars of them to be exact, so until your soul get's stronger you cannot house more then thirty star points right now."
My lips twitched and I said in some amusement. "If a five-star is a world breaker item, I don't think I need six of them, honestly."
There was a pause before he smiled and said in clear amusement. "No, you won't even be able to summon five stars right now. But let me put it this way... Light Novel, Esdeath with all her power is only a peak three-star. Keep that in mind."
In the depth of my mind, I saw the ten gacha points, and I looked at him and he nodded. "Go ahead. I am curious to see what you roll actually."
As I went to pull the mental lever to do the roll, I realized that for every ten gatcha points I spent at once. I would guarantee one star point or higher of standard rolls... And seeing the highlighted 'standard' rolls.
I couldn't help but wonder if there was going to be 'limited events,' but before I could think more on it. An honest to god slot machine ring tone went off inside of my head,d making me mentally scream as I knew this was going to haunt my dreams.
[☆Toilet Paper 24 rolls, ☆Remington New Model Army 45ACP, ★ Minecraft Baked Potato
☆Compass, ☆Pocket Watch, ☆Reese's Pieces Multipack 40ct
☆Maria Mikhailovna Kujou ★Reinforced Umbrella/Shield ★Lesser Healing Amulet
★★Nano Healing Patch]
I blinked and what I had rolled and for the most part... The items were rather self-explanatory in nature, the Remington was a revolver chamber in 45 ACP, the Minecraft Baked Potato was... A fucking baked potato that would give me a bit of regeneration for a few minutes.
The Reinforced Umbrella was an umbrella that had carbon nanotube fibers making up the umbrella so it was bullet PROOF up to 5.56 definitely. Any higher and the fabric would break down after repeated hits.
The healing amulet was also very simple, I wore the amulet and in turn while wearing it I had a very slight form of regeneration. Which actually, if I never took it off. I would only be aging at one-tenth the normal rate.
The Nano Healing Patch was a bit more complicated in the patch being instead a large blanket and I could cut off parts of it and when I put that cut off part onto a wound, the nanities that made up the blanket would seal the wound instantly and begin working to seal the internal damage or even re-attach the limb if that was the issue.
"I got some good stuff... But I got a half-Russian romantic comedy harem anime waifu?" I spoke in utter confusion.
As Maria was a sweetheart in Alya whispers sweet nothings in Russian... Or whatever that anime was called. But my confusion only turned into annoyance as my sponsor just fucking burst into laughter.
"Hahahah!" He laughed and then after a few moments, he shook his head and said. "Well, I suggest not getting attached to them. I mean, it's not really worth summoning Maria when she has zero inclination for combat or any special skill."
There was a pause until my sponsor raised an eyebrow and said. "Unless... You just really want some highschool pussy or something. But you already got Taihou who will happily break your hips."
I drew a hand across my face before I grumbled. "Hardy fucking har har. Any idea when I will roll some powers? Can you hook me up with Aura or something at least? Hell make a-"
He cut me off with a snap of his fingers and the sound went off like a gunshot. "No, no, I will not. In either case, good luck... You will need it."
Then my vision darkened and I realized I was drifting back into slight and the last thing I thought was. 'Wait... I should have asked which crazy bitch from a gacha game was going to get to me next!'
Comments
ZeroLink21
I'm pretty sure this would be my version of hell my luck is really shitty with gacha anything I would be rolling toilet paper 9 times out of ten with maybe a can of coke as the the last roll tftc
Douglas Karr
Fox in a glass box, Shinano. . . Touch fluffy tail
Azazyel
5 star XD
Bio_Bill
Pretty sure that even if a Tenno dies violently, the void is like 'no' and just brings them back to life a little later.
Bishop7053
Warhammer tacitus is a gacha. Give this man mommy Celestine.
Laplase
Is Warframe in the Gacha? It would be interesting if he was Made into a Tenno (even without Warframes to keep their powers controlled, they still live for 10,000+ years and have an OP power set.)
Azazyel
Yes, all Gacha's are open I may put up a public poll on Patreon for you guys to vote for the next waifu.
