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Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 271
🕑 Added 2022-10-18 21:45:18 +0000 UTCChapter 271 – DEN’s Reaction
(Galactic DEN Forums)
Galactic Dungeon Chat
Theocracy’s Might
Oh, gods, this is terrible! Absolutely terrible! Everything is going wrong! Surely, this must be the end of days!
Bugrandi Swamp
What is the idiot going on about, now?
Theocracy’s Might
How can you not know? Something has happened to Lady Pofmis, and it is affecting all her followers! The very foundations of the pantheons are shaking!
Bugrandi Swamp
Probably because none of the freedom idiots bother with a dungeon that is mostly swamp creatures. My regulars are monster hunters and those looking for some of the rare materials I have. There isn’t much profit in slaving around here.
Dudansx
Not everyone cares about what the mortals and their religions are doing, Theo. Most of us just make sure we aren’t doing anything that will get a crusade called on us.
Dishonored
Or we make sure that we have the God of Dungeons, Kuronoth, on our side, so he can help turn those crusades aside.
Hdnar
That’s what happened on Atara, right? Some rich kids decided to go dungeon diving, and their parents weren’t happy with what happened, so they forced the clerics to call a crusade?
Dishonored
Basically. The kids discovered that aphrodisiac gas traps are dangerous, even if they aren’t lethal. And the parents were upset that a few pregnancies came from that.
Forsworn
Serves them right. Always assume that anything in a dungeon, that isn’t marked as a safe zone, is going to be dangerous in some way. That’s what we do!
Dishonored
Yeah, but since when have rich people ever had sense? Hell, they usually only get carried through the dungeon, so they can get the benefits of levels without the work.
Scholarium
This is true. Many ruling parties have a Tier requirement to join the government. And becoming a higher-tier race can give a mortal a longer lifespan, and improve their overall health, as well as increasing their abilities.
Devil’s Due
Yeah, we know this. Let’s go back to what Theocracy was talking about for a sec. Because something strange just happened in my dungeon, and I want to know if it is connected. One of those Pofmis jerks just stopped in the middle of a boss fight, and begged my floor boss to enslave him. I did it, obviously, but that is… not normal.
Theocracy’s Might
Yes! That, right there, is what I’m talking about! It isn’t happening in just your dungeon, either! All the followers of Pofmis are getting put under some kind of compulsion to go get themselves enslaved. Once that happens, they can’t back out of it! This is terrible news!
Freedom’s Requiem
Maybe for you. For those of us who have been dealing with that bitch’s self-righteous followers for too long, this is a welcome reprieve. Oh, I’m sure that someone will step up to be the new religious asshole on the block, but at least Pofmis is dead.
Scholarium
Not dead. The signs point to Pofmis still being alive, but changed in some way. The researchers in my halls are trying to figure out what, exactly, happened.
Greengrass
Do you think it had anything to do with that stuff happening on Bluemountain?
Goblin Cave
What stuff? Bluemountain has been pretty firmly locked down as being a Pofmisian stronghold for the last two hundred Standard Years. Most of the planet is still stuck with antique weapons and armor, from what I’ve heard.
Greengrass
True, but I heard that a couple dungeons have started causing trouble there, and it is throwing the ruling empire into chaos.
Black Knight
Well, more like I, and another dungeon, reached out to some of Vinastra’s enemies, and worked out an agreement to help them overthrow the Pofmisian theocracy.
Fortune’s Glory
That’s a dangerous road to walk. Dungeons have been declared Rogue, and destroyed for doing such things in the past.
Black Knight
Well, they can try. But the Vinastran capital is now part of my domain, and dungeon laws cover it. Plus, gods are involved, so they’ll go looking at them, first.
Greengrass
Woah. What gods?
Black Knight
Pofmis, obviously, but Kuronoth was there, too.
Goblin Cave
What, like actually there, in the real world, not just through their followers?
Black Knight
Yes! They manifested at the site where the Vinastran army had gotten trapped between the allied forces, with help from Wyrmfang Aerie, myself, and Exquisite Pleasures.
Scholarium
Wait a fucking second! How did Exquisite Pleasures get to Bluemountain? That dungeon is based on Earth! Vadrandix, have you sold any Galactic Core Spikes recently?
Vadrandix
No, I have not. And that is troublesome. I do not like the idea of a dungeon being able to move about without paying me.
Exquisite Pleasures
That’s really too bad, then.
Fortune’s Glory
Oh, the dungeon himself! So, how did you do it?
Exquisite Pleasures
Simple. A god helped me.
Scholarium
Wait, what?
Exotic Pleasures
Yes, it looks like there’s a loophole in the whole ‘core spike’ rules, under the System. Or, more likely, it is an edge case that has never come up before. Either way, if you have a god enshrined in your dungeon, then, with that god’s permission, you can open a portal to one of their shrines elsewhere, and claim it as your own territory, like if it were part of your dungeon. Even if it is on another world. Then, you can use the normal, and publicly available, core spikes to open up new territory on the planet.
Scholarium
Huh. Ok. I can see why that might not have come up before. Most dungeons are not so closely aligned with the gods enshrined in their dungeons that they’d be willing to allow such things. So, you and Kuronoth are that tightly bound?
Exotic Pleasures
Sometimes, it seems like we’re the same person. But, honestly, there isn’t much to say about things in this case. We trade favors back and forth, because dungeons and gods have different capabilities. We never ask for anything the other can’t provide, or anything that would severely inconvenience them, so there’s never hard feelings.
Scholarium
That… well, that’s just insane, from the common sense of the galaxy. But both you and Kuronoth are from Earth, so I guess you never had anyone say it couldn’t be done.
Greengrass
How did you and Kuronoth come to be in this relationship, anyways?
Exotic Pleasures
Well, when the System was turned back on, in what humans are calling the System Apocalypse, I became a dungeon, and Kuronoth became the final boss. We’ve been working together since then. Probably part of the reason that he’s gained that God of Dungeons title.
Greengrass
Fascinating. So, he must have used the fact that he was, technically, immortal to jumpstart his path to godhood, and you helped him out by putting religious works where people could get them?
Exotic Pleasures
That’s one way of looking at it, yes. The technical matters are a little more complex, obviously, but that’s the gist of it. So, I was only too happy to help out with crushing Vinastra. Allowed me to get some combat data on this new monster I acquired recently.
Black Knight
You mean those Lewd Radiation Slimes? I only saw them from afar, but Wyrmfang’s dragons saw what those things were doing, and it was… yeah, not something I’d put in my own dungeon, just yet.
Succubus’s Dream
So, what do ‘Lewd Radiation Slimes’ do? I mean, they have one of my favorite words in the name, so I gotta know!
Exotic Pleasures
Well, it is a combination of a few things. Radiation Slimes are large slimes, about the size of an ogre, which are basically pure uranium gel. Very dangerous to anyone nearby, unless they have immunity (or at least a severe resistance) to radiation.
Then, you add on the Lewd template, which essentially takes a creature, and makes them constantly looking to mate and reproduce, while emitting pheromones that make individuals unable to do anything but want to get fucked.
This makes the normal Radiation Slime act more like the ‘breeder’ type of slimes. No idea whether it is actually possible for new creatures to be born of the breeding, since that much radiation usually is enough to kill the Tier 1 and 2 subjects I’ve used to test them on before now within hours, and even the Slime Lords need 24 hours for any slimes to eat their way out of the host.
Succubus’s Dream
Ooohkay. So, not really something I’d be looking for in my dungeon. Radiation poisoning is not a pretty way to die.
Scholarium
No, it is not. And I am very curious as to this ‘Lewd template’ you have. Templates are known, of course, but where did this come from?
Exotic Pleasures
Got it after one of the initial gods I enshrined in my dungeon set up shop. I’ll let you figure out which one.
Scholarium
Fascinating. It is known that different gods give boons to the dungeon as payment for giving up part of their realm to the shrine, but so few dungeons actually incorporate shrines without becoming corrupted by the god’s influence that unbiased accounts are difficult to come by.
Exotic Pleasures
Most dungeons with a god enshrined are usually dedicated to a single god, yes? How many are there that have shrines for an entire pantheon? Or a group of similarly-aligned gods? Because I also found an extra effect from having three gods with similar domains enshrined in my dungeon.
Scholarium
Oh dear. I really have to get in touch with the research department, and figure out some way to study this. Obviously, I can’t use myself, but there has to be some way to study the influence of different gods, and the combinations!
Exotic Pleasures
You would need a dungeon that had ‘woken up’ to get any real data. And that means you’d need to likely force them to incorporate multiple gods into their dungeon. That’s a good way to start getting your research team marked as Dungeon Foes. And that’s assuming that the God of Dungeons doesn’t get upset.
Scholarium
What, why would he get upset?
Greengrass
Because you’d be effectively enslaving another dungeon to run these experiments. Probably multiple dungeons. And how would you clean up after? You have some way to remove all that religious stuff from a dungeon without killing it, or cutting apart its soul? And what do you do if an experiment causes something out of control? Destroy the dungeons? Or find some way to enslave them and keep them suppressed?
Scholarium
Um, well. I am sure that the researchers would think about those questions before they actually did anything.
Exotic Pleasures
Have you ever actually MET any researchers? Because I can already tell you that statement was pure shit.
Scholarium
Ugh, fine. So, what was it that changed with Pofmis? Had to be something if Theocracy is all upset.
Theocracy’s Might
Upset? UPSET? UPSET?!? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M UPSET! POFMIS HAS CHANGED FROM A GODDESS OF FREEDOM AND LIGHT TO WILLING SUBMISSION TO ENSLAVEMENT! THIS SCREWS WITH EVERYTHING!
Exotic Pleasures
Oh, don’t forget that Pofmis, herself, is also enslaved. And maimed.
Greengrass
Not helping, Pleasures.
Scholarium
Oh, dear. That certainly is a big change. I can see why that has caused a major fluctuation in the galactic power balance. Pofmisians were able to influence several key individuals in the recent elections, having them suddenly change, with most of her followers going and enslaving themselves? That will drastically change how things are.
Theocracy’s Might
The ruling party in the Galactic Senate is probably going to lose their majority. This is going to be a major shakeup! Who knows what will happen?
Exotic Pleasures
Who cares, as long as it stays out of our dungeons? There are limits to what a dungeon can actually do outside its realm, after all, unless some specific criteria are met. Especially if they don’t have an avatar that they can reinforce and send out of the dungeon, if only briefly.
Theocracy’s Might
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Exotic Pleasures
One: This is not my fault. The Vinastrans didn’t want to listen to reason, so what happened is on them.
Two: Or what? You gonna try and make me? Gonna buy a Galactic Core to try and take me on?
Theocracy’s Might
No, but I’ll have the best assassins in the galaxy out hunting for a way to take you out!
Exotic Pleasures
You are welcome to try at any time. Just know that the last three times anyone has tried to conquer me multiple times. Each time, they’ve been humiliated, beaten back, and either destroyed or enslaved. Just ask Pofmis what happened to her Golden Host, if you don’t believe me.
Theocracy’s Might
Maybe not today, or even the next, but mark my words, before the end of my life, I will see you destroyed!
Exotic Pleasures
Suuure you will. Sit down, Theo, and just concentrate on not attracting too much attention when your ‘assessments’ come due. Because once humans start getting out into the wider galaxy, some things are going to change.
Comments
Jonas
Thanks for the great chapter
Colin Dearing
Threatening the dungeon… yep, that’s a sound plan of action, nothing could possibly go wrong here… *smirk*
