Knicker Knight
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Hoekage Chapter 5
🕑 Added 2025-06-20 04:36:15 +0000 UTC“Ohmygod look at how big the wall is! Ohmygod it’s so hot here! Ohmygod I can see the Hokage monument! The Hokage monument, sensei! The Hokage monu—”
Naruto’s mouth was abruptly stuffed with a big wad of paper; crumpled up rejected pages from Jiraiya’s latest Icha Icha draft. The two of them were riding on a merchant’s cart that they’d chartered, the Konoha gates looming ahead of them. As always the gates were guarded by two chunin. Naruto’s attention was more on what was past it, though.
“Mmm mm mmm mm mmmmm mm,” Naruto said.
“Even this way you can’t stay quiet?” Jiraiya asked. He was rubbing his face while writing in a notebook with plenty of pages torn out. “My head is killing me gaki.”
The two of them had left Tsunade and Shizune the night before. Although both of them had their own private, intimate celebrations, Jiraiya was paying for the drinking that preceded it. Naruto was perfectly fine because of his constitution and the huge mass of chakra in his gut, but despite being an S class shinobi Jiraiya had a hangover like anyone else.
“Papers?” the guards at the gate asked.
One look from Jiraiya’s angry eyes made them yelp and jump aside. “Go right in, Jiraiya-sama!”
“Thanks,” Jiraiya grumbled. “At least someone respects me properly.”
The cart carried them into Konoha’s bustling streets. Naruto’s head swiveled, looking around like an overactive puppy. Every single detail excited him. He’d never been here, Jiraiya keeping him away until now, yet he’d heard so many stories. Konoha was basically legendary to him!
There were so many people. And shinobis. Sure, there were more civilians than ninja, but Naruto could see at least fifteen different shinobi moving around just by the gate. That was only counting the ones wearing flak jackets or headbands, too. His hands felt jittery. He wondered how strong these people were!
“We’re going straight to the Hokage’s office,” Jiraiya said. “We have to introduce you. You remember him, right? The old man? He must be REALLY old by now. It’s been a while since I saw him.”
“Of course he’s SUPER old,” Naruto said, pulling out the papers Jiraiya had shoved into his mouth. “He has to be, if he’s older than you!”
Jiraiya very quickly gagged him again.
Since he couldn’t speak, Naruto was happy to just look around. He particularly liked watching the ninja. He studied the way that they moved, trying to judge how fast they could be when they went all out. Then, while he was imagining that, he imagined pitting his own skills against theirs.
He liked fighting. He didn’t like killing very much, but Jiraiya had shown him that sometimes it was necessary. Because training wasn’t enough to get experience, his teacher had sent him on quite a few missions as he got older. Still, being here and actually seeing so many strong people living in peace made Naruto want to spar. A fight without killing sounded great! Especially when it wouldn’t be against Jiraiya, meaning he wouldn’t get beaten into the ground. Although recently, their one on one bouts had been getting a little close.
Other than gauging the strength of various ninja, Naruto found something else to look at. The women! Most of the kunoichi were absolute hotties, from what he could see! Maybe having more chakra made your appearance look better. Or maybe it was just because they were all in such killer shape. Naruto saw more than a handful of women that he’d love to give the Shizune treatment to.
Naruto smiled wistfully around the paper in his mouth as he recalled what he and his clones had done to his sister-like figure. Somehow, sex was even better than Jiraiya made it sound. Naruto couldn’t wait to see how much more he’d discover about it. In the hidden villages, with people risking their lives each and every day, sex was a very common strategy to blow off steam. He couldn’t wait.
Their cart happened to go past two girls that were around his age. One had short pink hair and a cute face, while the other one was downright beautiful with a more well rounded figure (smaller ass, bigger boobs) and long blond hair. Naruto liked their eyes. The pinkette had pretty green ones, and the blond had alluring blue eyes that were paler than Naruto’s.
Naruto waved at them as they walked by. They both looked at him. The blond one gave him a flirty smile, while the pinkette mostly seemed confused about the papers stuffed inside Naruto’s mouth. The cart kept going, meandering toward the Hokage tower.
“Alright. We’ll get off here,” Jiraiya said a couple of blocks later.
He tossed the cart driver a few extra coins for getting them so close, before he and Naruto approached the Hokage Tower. Naruto stared up the tall red building, unable to keep his excitement down.
He spat the papers out of his mouth. Jiraiya didn’t say anything about that, although he did touch Naruto’s shoulder.
“You can talk now, but don’t do anything rude,” Jiraiya said. “Sensei probably won’t mind if it’s you. That doesn’t mean his guards will like you if you’re a brat. There’s a good chance that they won’t like you anyway.”
“Because I’m a Jinchuriki?” Naruto asked.
“Right,” Jiraiya said. “Especially with the one that you’ve got inside you. It’ll be fine once you prove yourself as a village shinobi. For now, just try not to make a bad first impression. If that’s possible.”
“I'm super charming!” Naruto said.
“Uh huh. Yeah. Whatever you say.” Jiraiya pulled him toward the doors.
When they entered, a receptionist looked at them and asked: “Appointment?”
Just like the chunin at the gate she quickly went back on herself as she recognized Jiraiya, telling them how to get to the Hokage’s office.
“I remember the way—” Jiraiya hesitated. “Actually, thanks for the instructions. It’s been a while since I came in through the door.”
Jiraiya had come back to Konoha a handful of times since he began taking care of Naruto. Whenever he did he left Naruto with someone trustworthy, either Tsunade or the toads. Although he wasn’t as active as he had been in the past, his information network was still active and needed to be reported on.
But Jiraiya’s trait of entering the office through the window (often unannounced) was so famous that even Naruto had heard of it. Tsunade told him, and she HATED talking about anything Konoha related. That’s how funny she found the idea of Jiraiya sneaking in whenever he felt like it.
Naruto and Jiraiya went up to the top floor. There was another receptionist outside of the Hokage’s office with a desk of her own. The one on the first floor was a civilian, but this girl was a kunoichi. Naruto could tell from a look. She seemed like she was around his age.
She was pretty. She had brown eyes that matched her hair, which had little buns at the top that reminded Naruto of a panda’s ears. She was armed. She had two kunai at her hips, Naruto caught glimpses of throwing stars hidden up her sleeves, one of the pens on her desk was a disguised blade, and a fake walking stick resting against her chair was actually a shortened staff.
“The Hokage will see you in a few moments,” the kunoichi told them. She was less intimidated by Jiraiya, or she hid it better. She probably saw all sorts of powerful people working as a receptionist outside this office. “He’s in a meeting with representatives of the Hyuuga Clan.”
“The Hyuugas, huh? They usually ignore everything that they can,” Jiraiya said. “What dragged them out this time?”
“I’m not sure,” the girl said diplomatically. “If you want an accurate answer, the Hokage is infinitely more knowledgeable than I am.”
“Hey, what’s your name?” Naruto asked, bounding forward and leaning on the desk.
“Tenten,” said Tenten.
“You’re a pretty well armed secretary,” Naruto said. He reached for the pen that was a disguised blade, but Tenten picked it up first and held it in her hands.
“I like weapons,” Tenten said. “I don’t think it hurts to be prepared at all times. Most people don’t really notice, though.”
“Yeah. Civilians miss a lot of things,” Naruto said. He turned the fake pen over in his hands, poking the sharp end with his finger. “Ooh, this is really sharp! You maintain it really well!”
Tenten’s eyes got comically large as she saw him holding the thing that had been in her hands seconds ago. She looked down, and sure enough it was gone. Her eyes hadn’t even seen Naruto do it, but he had managed to swipe the weapon like it was nothing.
“Give that back,” Tenten said.
“Okay.” Naruto tossed it back to her, and she caught it like it was a baby at risk of hitting the floor. “How old are you?”
There was no opportunity for Tenten to answer as the doors happened to open right then. Three people walked out with the same lilac eyes. One of them was a middle aged man with long hair. Naruto immediately didn’t like him. He looked like one of those strict uptight types who cared about manners and other useless things like that. Naruto liked the other two better, but that was probably because they were around his age and hot.
They were probably sisters based on the resemblance they showed to each other. One was petite and cute. She had the same look as her father, but she was young enough that she still had time to learn that manners weren’t all that. Sometimes, corrupting girls like that to the wild side was its own kind of thrill; at least that’s what Jiraiya said. There was an entire Icha Icha volume about that exact plot.
The other sister Naruto couldn’t really get a read on. She looked at the ground like she had self esteem issues. She didn’t look uptight or annoying, but something about staring at her made Naruto feel sad. Still, he wouldn’t be a hot blooded young man if he didn’t notice the giant honkers on her chest. They were so big that if they kept growing a little more, Tsunade might actually have real competition!
The three of them walked out without looking at Naruto. The man gave Jiraiya a brief look, only to sniff and look away.
“Nice to see you too, Hiashi!” Jiraiya said boisterously.
The three Hyuugas left. Tenten looked shocked to see someone blow off such a legendary ninja. Naruto, though, had been around Tsunade and women that Jiraiya peeped on too much to be surprised about the man getting the cold shoulder. Jiraiya’s skills were sometimes the only admirable thing about him. Even Naruto thought that, and he loved his sensei.
“C’mon gaki,” Jiraiya said. “It’s our turn.”
“Bye Tenten!” Naruto said before leaving. “I like your hair and your weapons!”
The earnest compliment left Tenten slightly stunned. She reached up and poked one of her buns, staring confusedly after Naruto.
Naruto thought the Hokage’s office would be brighter. Maybe that was just his taste. For such an important room, Naruto assumed it would be bright orange, or at least red, or something memorable. Instead it was just pretty ordinary.
And boy, Jiraiya hadn’t been kidding about his sensei looking old! Hiruzen Sarutobi was one of the oldest people Naruto had ever seen. Which was crazy, because usually shinobi died young. The fact that he was still alive meant his skills must’ve been out of this world. Now, though, he just looked wrinkled.
The wrinkles were everywhere. All over his face, along his arms (which were simultaneously wrinkly and also bony) and even around his neck. The Hokage’s hair was completely grey down to the last individual strand. Honestly, you could’ve convinced Naruto that he’d already passed away.
At least that was what he thought, until the ancient man focused on him.
Killing intent hit Naruto so hard that he had no choice but to freeze in place. Naruto’s stomach churned as something deep inside it reacted to a perceived threat. Naruto controlled that reaction. He took a deep breath, doing his best to withstand this. It was only a little bit more intense than the killing intent Jiraiya doused him with to train him against this. He just had to stay strong…
The killing intent disappeared instantly. All of a sudden, Hiruzen Sarutobi was smiling.
“I’m not dead yet,” the Hokage said, “so there’s no need to look at me as if I am.”
“But I didn’t say anything!” Naruto whined.
Jiraiya sighed deeply, Naruto’s tone qualifying as “rude” the way he warned him not to be. Naruto sensed a flicker of killing intent from the corners of the room and just outside, where the ANBU guards must have been posted. This killing intent was a tenth as strong as what the Hokage hit him with, though, and Naruto ignored it easily. Besides, the Hokage himself had started laughing.
“It was written all over your face,” Hiruzen said. “I’ll have to remember to keep you off of espionage missions it seems, once you’re officially inducted into the ranks. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First…” He spread his arms. “Welcome, Naruto, to Konoha.”
Naruto grinned back at him. “I’m happy to be here!”
He meant it from the bottom of his heart. And if, as he said it, part of him was thinking about Tenten, the Hyuugas he saw, the girls they passed in the street, and all the other beauties he was sure he was yet to discover…
Well, you can’t blame him. He WAS Jiraiya’s disciple after all.
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