Thelightsmen
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[NSFW | WIP | Writing] "Nerdy Fantasy" Comic script Chapter 1
🕑 Added 2021-09-12 20:37:14 +0000 UTCUPDATE 04/10/21: Added one sketch to the story
UPDATE 04/10/21: Added even more sketches to the story!
Proceed to Chapter 2: Toriel
The following text is meant to be used by me as a blueprint to draw the upcoming UT NSFW comic which I decided to title "Nerdy Fantasy" Featuring Alphys as the main protagonist.
The format might be a little ambiguous and/or informal, but I did my best to make it look good enough to understand the story fully. Keep in mind this is written to convey the picture of a japanese doujinshi, so there will be some very specific cues describing visual scenarios very specifically.
PS: Letters at beginning of the dialogue indicate who's talking. (U: Undyne, A: Alphys)
And as always PLEASE do let me know what you think of my writing skills and this story in general! I want to hear your opinion! <3
PS 2: Warning, if you keep reading. This is going to get kinky, consider yourself warned ;)
Chapter 1: Undyne
It begins at night time, at Undyne and Alphys place, Undyne is cooking wearing an apron as usual and she’s about to finish, she tidies up her apron before calling
U – “Babe! Dinner’s ready!”
Alphys doesn’t respond, Undyne with a midly annoyed face tries again.
U- “Alphys! Can you hear me? Dinners ready!!”
A- “I’m coming in a minute!!”
Alphys faint voice coming from the basement finally calms undyne, who puts her hands on her hips, almost like a mom.
U- “Man what is she doing now in that lab…”
U- “Alright then! Better hurry up then because I’ll be waiting for you, you hear?”
Cut to alphys on her little lab on the basement, she’s working on a specific device, and she’s very concentrated in it. she hears the faint voice of undyne as she disregards it, completely fixated on her work. She finishes and finally speaks:
A: -“At last, It’s done! My lastest invention is done!”
A little information frame comes next, explaining what the device is and what it’s supposed to do:
“Emits strong wavelength signals at enormous speeds, introducing subconcious messages to the mind to gain better control over it, helping remove bad habits and encouraging good ones!”
Alphys laughs sheeply, looking at both sides.
A: -“Heheheh… Now I’ll really be more productive!”
A: -“What should I use it for? Eating more healthy? Stop stuttering? Or…”
A: -“Oh I know! No more sleeping disorders!!!”
Alphys turns on the device hastily almost like a child about to play with a new toy, which is a simple screen she conveniently disguised as a phone (very rough looking)
A: -“Oh booy this is gonna be so awesome…”
A: -“Alright, let’s see… Okay its around 8 PM right now, I’ll set this to 9:30 PM to make sure I absolutely fall asleep by then… This thing should really have an effect on me this time, I’m sure of it!”
The screen turns on, revealing a mysterious purple/pink color, Alphys looks at the screen
A: -“Okay good, now-…”
Undyne interrupts her, snatching away the device from her hand.
U -“ALPHYS!!! What on earth is wrong with you?!”
Alphys jumps back startled and confused, she did not hear Undyne coming in at all, she looks at her both confused and scared
A -“Eeeek! W-what? Wha-?”
Undyne looks at her, her face being a mixture of angry and worried, not even paying attention to the thing she just took from Alphys
U -“Oh my god you’re okay…”
U- “Jeez babe don’t scare me like that!”
Alphys now is very confused, a couple seconds pass before Alphys breaks the silence,
A -“Eh?…”
U -“What do you mean “Eh?”, did you not notice you were just standing there looking like… like a statue or something…?”
U- “Are you okay? You getting hooked up on anime or something again?
A- “Uhhh…”
U- “You do know you gotta eat to stay alive right? Are you really gonna leave me hanging back at the table over this? The food is cold by now!
Alphys makes a “huh?” kind of face, while turning to look at the clock
A -“But I…”
She stops as soon as she sees the time, around 8:30 PM, a half hour had passed in an instant and she didn’t even notice, her eyes get wide as she processes the hour.
A- “What… the hell?”
Undyne speaks up again, now with an angrier tone
U - “Alphys what’s up with you? Are you trying to make real anime again?”
A- “Well I- no but-“
U- “And what is this thing here? Why weR-…”
Undyne stops dead in her tracks right after looking at the screen, her eyes become pink and emit a weird glowy light of the same color, she goes silent and doesn’t move at all, as if she was frozen in time, then seconds later her whole body eases and looks like she’s in a more relaxed state, fixated on looking at the screen she’s holding in her hand.
Alphys looks at her, expecting her to continue talking, but then the awkward silence gets to her.
A -“Oh… my god…”
A- “Undyne…? Baby?
Alphys gently pushes undyne a bit, but she doesn’t respond. Alphys gets progressively more scared
A -“What’s going on? That thing…?”
A -“Undyne drop that thing now!”
U -“…Yes”
Undyne replies as she drops it inmediately, still with the same dead pan expression and stiff pose. Alphys panics and barely catches the thing before it hits the ground. She then looks at her girlfriend and notices she’s still like a mannequin, looking in the direction of the device while she had it in her hand.
A -“What the-?! Undyne?”
Undyne remains the same, no answer. Alphys stares at her for a couple seconds, before she realizes it.
A -“Holy… crap… you’re in trance… you…”
Alphys looks at her and the device, then at her.
A -“T-turn around please”
Undyne turns her back on alphys without questioning her.
A -“Turn around again”
Undyne turns around facing alphys again. Alphys cannot believe what she’s looking at
A -“This thing… controls minds! Just like-…”
Alphys quiets her voice suddenly and whispers, she hunches back as if holding to a big secret, paranoid eyes look around and then to the device, blushing.
A -“Just like… i-in those Japanese h-hentais…”
A -“Undyne? Can you hear me?”
Undyne responds without batting an eye
U -“Yes”
A -“Wake up!”
All of a sudden Undyne shakes her head and goes back to her normal self, she inmediately notices she’s in a different position, and doesn’t have the device in her hand anymore
U -“Wh- wait what the hell? How did you do that???”
Alphys stares at her for a second
A -“…You don’t remember?”
Undyne gets confused
U -“Remember what?! When did you take that back and why am I- how-…“
Undyne stops inmediately as Alphys shows her the screen again, she is once again under her control. Alphys is baffled, and soon begins to sweat profusely, blushing, and eventually getting a small nosebleed.
A -“Hoooly shit… This is real…”
A- “I can do anything I want… I can make her do whatever I want… She’ll do whatever I say!!”
A- “I could… I could even….”
Alphys snaps out of it
A- “No! What am I saying! I could never!!”
A- “I don’t even know it’s limits!”
A- “Uhh… Okay um. Undyne, I want you to forget this whole problem and believe I did eat dinner tonight with you, okay”
U-“Yes”
A -“And now you will go to sleep, okay?”
U-“Yes”
Undyne turns around and walks back to their bedroom, she stops while Alphys says her final orders
A -“And… and you won’t be mad at me when you wake up, okay?
U -“Yes”
A -“And you will act completely natural tomorrow morning as if nothing had ever happened!!”
U -“Yes”
Alphys smiles nervously
A -“Oh my god this is seriously weird… but it’s so awesome!!”
The next morning Undyne wakes up Alphys, she seems energetic as always and is already putting her clothes on.
U -“Hey babe, time to get up! We got a busy day ahead of us”
Alphys puts her pillow on her head, and grunts
A -“I don’t wanna get up yet hon… 5 more minutes *Gasp* Wait I-”
Alphys gets up inmediately on the bed and stares at Undyne, who was also staring back at her, surprised by unusual reaction. They keep this for a couple seconds before undyne speaks with a smug face.
U -“Babe are you acting chunibayo again?”
A-“…It’s Chūnibyō, Undyne”
Alphys corrects her with a mildly annoyed straight face
U – “Yeah that. Anyway you seem awake enough now so get up, we gotta get some breakfast done and go to work soon!”
Alphys interrupts her shortly after
A -“Wait! Uh… I’m… Uh… You’re not mad at me?”
U -“Uhhh… no? I mean it’s kind of annoying how you always wanna sleep more than usual all the time but today it seems you’re ready to let those bad habits behind! That’s the spirit!! Come on! I’ll be in the kitchen”
Undyne goes out running energetically while Alphys thinks to herself:
A -“So she really forgot about everything last night… this thing… This thing really does work! I can completely control her thoughts!”
The rest of the day goes by normally, and Alphys has a normal day with her gf, doing housechores and going shopping with her after work (Undyne has work but Alphys is unemployed) until nightfall.
Undyne and alphys are sitting in the living room, minding their own business
U -“So Alphys, are you doing alrght? You seemed anxious all day today.”
A -“Oh I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I’m just thinking about stuff”
U -“Like what?”
A -“Stuff…”
Undyne’s expressions turns into a straight face, looking like she just heard an obvious lie
U- “Really… stuff...”
U -“Alphys you promised wouldn’t hold any secrets any more”
A -“I-I know but… I mean I don’t!”
U -“Babe I can read you like a book”
A -“E-everything’s alright Undyne! Don’t worry about it”
U -“Babe stop it, tell me what’s up”
A -“Bu-”
U -“Alphys! C’mon”
A -“Okay okay! Um… Last night… what do you remember about last night?”
Undyne looks at her puzzled
U -“Oh, well… I made dinner, we ate and then we went to sleep didn’t we? Are you- wait is this about my cooking?”
A -“N-no! I just… I uh… Could you look at this for a second?”
Alphys starts thinking to herself sweating, and with a more serious expression.
A -“Okay… this time I’m gonna try this again, I need to fully confirm this!”
Undyne does the same thing as last night in the laboratory, and falls into a trance looking at the screen. Next is a series of panels showing alphys making her do different things using the hypnosis device.
Alphys is now talking with Undyne who’s still hypnotized, asking her questions.
A- “Undyne, what do you like the most about me?”
U- “I love your quirkiness, and your timid dorky face”
A-“Awww… do you think I’m pretty?”
U- “I think you’re beautiful”
Alphys looks happy and warm inside, hearing so many nice things from her girlfriend, and knowing they’re true. She looks both ways and shyly asks another question, almost fearing rejection.
A- “D-do you think I’m… a-a-attractive”
U- “I think you’re very attractive”
Alphys relaxes after hearing a positive, and smiles again before asking another question, a little hesitant as well.
A- “Do you ever… fantasize about me?”
U- “Yes”
A- “What do you fantasize about?”
U- “I yearn for the day you take the initiative and try to pin me down to turn me into your fuck toy, I love the idea of you making me submit to your desires, and I’d let you do whatever you want to me. I’m a little too shy to try suggesting this but I secretly wish for it”
Alphys face is utter shock, completely silent staring at her girlfriend, she’s sweating like crazy, eyes wide and nose bleeding, breathing heavily.
A- “…Do you masturbate thinking about it?”
U- “Yes”
A- “How often?”
U- “Sometimes”
Alphys is trembling
A- “A-and… and… what would you like to do to me?”
U- “I want to ride you while you have a leash on me”
Alphys is nose bleeding like crazy, sweating, trembling and crossing her legs while biting her lip.
A- “S-s-strip for me, now”
U- “Yes”
Undyne obeys and starts removing all of her clothes in a very mechanical way, alphys looks a little displeased.
A- “Do it sexily, please”
U- “Yes”
Undyne keeps undressing, making sexy and teasing poses while doing so
A- “Do it like you’re trying to seduce me!”
U- “Yes”
A- “A-and- and say “Yes senpai” every time I give you an order!”
U- “Yes senpai”
Alphys looks deranged at this point, breathing heavily and indulging in her perversions
A- “SAY IT LIKE A KAWAI MAGICAL GIRL! Talk to me just like in the animes!”
U- “Nyaaan! Yes Senpai!”
Undyne does a tipical anime girl pose while answering, her voice surprisingly sounds a lot more feminine and cute than usual, Alphys basically snaps and bleeds a lot.
A- “COME HERE AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF WITH A SMILE”
U- “Yes senpai!”
Undyne giggles like a girl and starts stripping alphys down on the couch with a cute smile on her face, alphys leans back and lets it play with a very pleased face until he realizes herself
A- “STOP!”
Undyne inmediately stops, not even responding or moving a muscle, still smiling, almost like a robot. Alphys looks worried and ashamed, she looks at Undyne, still on stand by.
A- “What am I doing?!”
A- “There’s no way we could do this like this!”
As alphys is saying that, the panel shows a close up on Undyne’s face, still with the glowy eyes. Then shows back Alphys worried face and begins a close up to it.
Then Inmediate cut to the same face but this time happy and cheerful, but in kind of a crazy way
A- “NOW THIS IS A LOT BETTER!”
Cut to Undyne literally doing cosplay of Mew mew Kissy cutie (1st movie, not 2nd ) posing very “kawaii like” with the typical peace sign pose.
U- “Nyaa Alphys-chan! I LOVE YOU!”
A naked alphys nosebleeds everywhere right after this
A- “KAWAIIII!!!”
From this point on, a series of porn pictures featuring Undyne and Alphys start showing up. Alphys looks progressively more crazy and indulging over the course of them.
At the end of it, it ends with both girls lying on the same bed (which is now a huge mess, with pillows and sheets everywhere) completely exhausted.
Alphys, looking at the ceiling with a completely blissful expression, smiling and drooling.
Undyne with her costume all dirty and untidy looks all used up in the bed, with the same blissful expression.
U- “Alphys… chan…”
A- “That was… amazing…”
The next morning, Undyne wakes up and sees Alphys getting dressed. The room is perfectly tidy and there are no signs of the depravation that took place last night, Undyne seems perfectly okay and acts natural as always. Alphys on her part looks extremely happy, confident and cheerful, her words are very full of love and affection.
U- “Good morning babe…”
A- “Good morning honey!”
U- “Yeah it’s time to-… wait”
A- “Yeah?”
U- “You got up earlier than me?”
Undyne looks shocked at this. This is the first time Undyne sees this. Alphys does not change her happy attitude at all.
A- “Yep! Aren’t you proud of me?”
U- “I… yeah! Yeah I am! That’s great babe!”
Undyne seems genuinely happy and her eyes light up at this
A- “Anyway I’ll see you downstairs when you’re dressed! I think I’ll try cooking something this time I love you so much!”
Alphys goes ahead a kisses Undyne in the lips, Undyne is taken aback by this and stares at her in disbelief, after Alphys leaves the room, Undyne eases up and gives a warm smile.
U- “I love you too, alphys”
Cut to alphys in the kitchen trying to cook, thinking to herself
A- “I can’t believe I got away with all of that. I even had her clean up all the mess for me!”
Picture showing Undyne still wearing the cosplay cleaning and tidying everything up as alphys rests in bed looking at her.
A- “I feel so powerful now! I feel like I can do whatever I want!”
Alphys stops for a second, her expression looks worried.
A- “Was… Was that ok tho?... Would Undyne have let me do all that if I had just asked her on my own?...”
Alphys relaxes and keeps making breakfast, whistling and wagging her tail around.
A- “Yeah I’m sure she would’ve liked that too…”
The chapter ends with a black screen, with only the word “…Right?” in white.
To be continued in Chapter 2
Comments
Thelightsmen
Thank you so much for checking it out <3 I'm honestly not sure since I don't have experience translating scripts into comics, but I'd say maaaybe 15-20 pages for the whole set up 5-10 pages for the naughty bits, and I guess 3-7 for the aftermath. I'll try to keep the number as short as possible and take as many shortcuts I can too since I know this will be a LOT of work. If worst somes to show I'll make sure I'll atleast have the story written fully, so everyone can enjoy it and know there will be closure. With time I'll also draw some isolated sketches and add them to the written stories so it'll look kinda like a book or a light novel! So bottom line: -If everything goes well, it will become a full fledged doujinshi (basically an indie manga/comic) -If the comic is not possible, then at least you'll get a light novel :)
Leafa
Seems like a very long project, finally had time to sit down and read it all, looks interesting :3 How many pages do you think it'll be just off the top of your head? Just an estimated guess.
