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Chapter 39 - Felt such an overwhelming urge to lean in and softly kiss away those tears…
🕑 Added 2025-04-15 02:42:51 +0000 UTCAfter a sumptuous feast, the gathering dispersed. It was already nearing eleven o’clock. Xiao Wanqing offered to call a car to send the girls home, but the kids politely declined. Left with no choice, she helplessly reminded Xia Zhijin to take it slow and be careful on the way, and to text Lin Xian once they arrived home.
Xiao Wanqing stayed behind to clean up the dishes and tidy the place, while Lin Xian walked her classmates downstairs.
As they exited the elevator, Xia Zhijin walked alone at the front, a short distance ahead. Chen Zhi and Tang Mo followed side by side, while Lin Xian fell to the back with Shi Man, who had deliberately slowed her pace.
Shi Man had been rather lively earlier, having drunk a bit too much. Her fair cheeks were flushed a deep red, which only made her stunning features even more charming. Her eyes, however, were bright and clear—showing no trace of drunkenness. Just before they exited the building, she still spoke fluently, turning to Lin Xian with a teasing demand: “You still owe me a thank you—and a matchmaker’s red envelope.”
Lin Xian played dumb. “What are you talking about?”
“Hmph.” Shi Man gave a cold snort. “Keep pretending…” She murmured coolly to herself, “Looks like next time, there’s no need to help. It’s a lot of effort, and no one even appreciates it.”
“Aaah, I was wrong, I was wrong, Manman,” Lin Xian immediately changed her tune, hamming it up playfully. “Manman, how are you so clever? Manman, how do you know everything? Thank you, Manman, for your great favor today. I, Lin Xian, will be eternally grateful, never to forget it in this lifetime.”
After finishing her dramatic speech, her gaze shifted subtly to Xia Zhijin, who stood tall and graceful a few steps ahead. She lowered her voice a little and asked Shi Man with concern, “You revealed yourself a bit today… Will that be okay with senior?”
Shi Man’s gaze also drifted to Xia Zhijin. There was a turbulent undercurrent in her eyes. After a few seconds, she lowered her lashes and explained softly, “It’s okay, Lin Xian. Our situation is different. I don’t want to keep waiting.”
If, between Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing, it was a possibility neither dared to entertain…
Then between her and Xia Zhijin—it was a possibility Xia Zhijin had always avoided.
One person pretending not to know was enough.
When they were near the temporary parking spot where Xia Zhijin’s car was parked, Shi Man suddenly grabbed Lin Xian’s hand, adopting the stance of brushing her off, and raised her voice to say, “Lin Xian, don’t hold me—I’m just a little tipsy, just a bit dizzy. I’m not drunk. I can walk by myself.”
Lin Xian froze—Shi Man had grabbed her hand out of nowhere, and now she was spouting lines like a rehearsed skit. Lin Xian glanced at Xia Zhijin, Chen Zhi, and Tang Mo, who were all casting concerned looks their way. Then she peeked at Shi Man, silently mouthing: What are you doing?
But Shi Man pretended not to see the question in her eyes. She blinked with a hazy gaze, looking genuinely drunk. Then she let go of Lin Xian’s hand and grinned. “We’re here. I’m off. Thank you and Aunt Xiao for the lovely evening.”
Then she raised her voice again with exaggerated cheer, “Once more—happy birthday, Lin Xian!”
With that, she tottered unsteadily toward Xia Zhijin’s car.
Xia Zhijin took a few long strides to reach her and steadied her by the arm. As she leaned in, she caught the faint scent of alcohol mixed with Shi Man’s own sweet fragrance—not unpleasant, but still made Xia Zhijin wrinkle her brow slightly.
“You drank too much,” Xia Zhijin said coolly, in her usual calm and distant tone.
Shi Man leaned into her naturally. She tilted her head to look at Xia Zhijin’s high-bridged nose and long, lowered lashes. Her voice soft and flirtatious, she asked, “Then why didn’t you stop me earlier?”
She whispered close to Xia Zhijin’s ear, “I thought you were never going to come near me again…”
Lin Xian caught it—the slight, barely perceptible tremble that passed through Xia Zhijin’s body.
Xia Zhijin lifted a hand, seemingly about to push Shi Man away, but Shi Man suddenly pulled back on her own. Straightening her posture, she turned to Lin Xian with a casual smile, “That’s far enough, Lin Xian. You can go back now.”
Xia Zhijin’s hand slowly clenched into a fist, then hung limply by her side. She looked up at Lin Xian, her eyes as calm and clear as ever, and said considerately, “Go on, the wind’s strong tonight. You’re not even wearing a jacket—don’t catch a cold.”
Chen Zhi and Tang Mo chimed in beside the car, “Yeah, Lin Xian, you should head up. We’ll message you once we’re home. We had such a good time today—thank you.”
Lin Xian nodded repeatedly, but didn’t budge. “I’ll wait till you guys drive off.”
The group couldn’t argue with her, so they hurried Xia Zhijin, “Senior, let’s go, let’s go.”
After Xia Zhijin unlocked the car, they quickly climbed in.
Only when the car finally melted into the night, completely vanishing from her view, did Lin Xian turn back toward the building and head home.
Just as she stepped into the elevator and pressed the floor button, her phone chimed with a new message.
She took it out. It was from Shi Man. The message contained only eight short, cryptic words:
—In me the tiger sniffs the rose.
Lin Xian stared at the message in a daze. Thoughts swirled in her mind like a storm. But even as the screen dimmed and the elevator dinged open, she still couldn’t figure out what exactly Shi Man wanted to tell her.
She put away her phone. Just as she was about to pull out her keys, the front door clicked open by itself.
Xiao Wanqing peeked her head out with a smile, “I thought I heard your footsteps.”
Lin Xian stepped inside, closing the door behind her as she changed her shoes and teased, “What if you were wrong? What if it was a burglar?”
Xiao Wanqing walked back into the living room, bending down to clean up scattered toys and half-eaten snacks. Her voice was light and trusting, “You run so fast—you’d come back in time to scare them off.”
Lin Xian couldn’t help but smile at that, but the smile slowly faded.
She walked over and began helping Xiao Wanqing tidy up the living room, moving the coffee table. Her eyes gradually dimmed.
Aunt Xiao, I don’t run fast at all…
I can’t fight off the bad guy… not even a little.
In silence, she carefully put everything back in place. As she straightened up, ready to grab the broom, she realized Xiao Wanqing was already sitting quietly on the sofa, watching her.
“Xianxian,” she suddenly asked gently, “Don’t you have anything you want to ask me?”
Her smile was soft, and her eyes met Lin Xian’s with calm, radiant honesty.
Lin Xian froze. She stared at Xiao Wanqing, biting her lip. She opened her mouth, hesitated, and closed it again.
Xiao Wanqing casually brushed a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. Her brows arched ever so slightly as she smiled patiently, encouraging Lin Xian to speak.
Lin Xian swallowed hard and pulled over a small single armchair to sit directly across from Xiao Wanqing. With her head slightly tilted upward, she looked up at her, hesitated again and again, but finally managed to ask, “Aunt Xiao, just now… the game… was it true?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she quickly added, “I didn’t mean any offense.”
Xiao Wanqing smiled gently and replied in a soft voice, “I know, it’s okay. Yes, Lin Xian, it’s true—I like girls.” Her answer was open and honest, without hesitation or avoidance. “Lin Xian, just for today—only today—you can ask anything you want, and I’ll tell you everything.”
Lin Xian stared at her, shocked and delighted. Her hands were nervously clasped together on her lap. She paused in silence for a moment before speaking with great difficulty, trying to confirm, “Then… is that why you had an argument with your parents? Aunt Wen Tong knows, but… no one else does, not even my mom?”
The smile on Xiao Wanqing’s lips slowly faded. As if she was recalling the past, her eyes grew distant, layered with depth…
“Mm. She didn't like me going on blind dates, so to put her at ease, I told my parents the truth.”
“And… what happened after that?” Lin Xian knew she probably shouldn’t ask more. But she couldn’t help herself. She thought of that pregnant young woman, and of Xiao Wanqing standing alone, her heart suddenly burning with fire, then aching like it was being sliced open.
“After that…” Xiao Wanqing’s lips curved into a faint, almost imperceptible smile. “Her mother got sick. Her final wish was to see her daughter marry and start a family, to have someone to rely on for the rest of her life. So, she got married. And we broke up.”
She didn’t tell Lin Xian that before Yanjia’s mother fell ill, she had met her once—full of life and arrogance—and coldly demanded that she leave Yanjia. Xiao Wanqing didn’t agree. Not long after, Yanjia’s mother suddenly became seriously ill. Yanjia brought her to visit, and when her mother sent Yanjia away, leaving just the two of them alone, she leaned in and said with contempt, “I’ll be honest with you—I’m faking it. But even if you know, what can you do?”
Sure enough, later on, when Xiao Wanqing gently tried to suggest Yanjia reconsider the suddenness and suspiciousness of her mother’s illness, Yanjia lashed out in a fury. She accused her of having a sinister heart, of daring to question her poor, deathly ill mother.
Pitiful? Hah. Who was really pitiful?
Family over outsiders.
Family over outsiders. And in the end, she realized—the real outsider was herself.
Xiao Wanqing spoke of it with such lightness, as if it were nothing. But Lin Xian’s heart burned with fury, each word stabbing deep. It felt like knives twisting in her chest.
Aunt Xiao had fought for her, defied everything, and ended up with nothing. And that person—she just went off and got married, had a baby, like it was nothing? Her mother needed to fulfill her duty as a daughter, so she left—but when she’d pushed Aunt Xiao to come out, had she ever considered that Aunt Xiao had parents too?
Lin Xian’s fists clenched so tightly that her nails dug deep into her palms—yet she didn’t even feel it.
At last, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She slammed her right fist onto the glass coffee table with a loud bang, gritting her teeth and shouting, “Scumbag!”
Startled by the sudden noise, Xiao Wanqing jumped to her feet. She rushed over in a panic, knelt beside Lin Xian, and grabbed her injured hand with trembling fingers. For the first time, her voice was sharp and stern as she scolded, “Lin Xian, are you out of your mind?!”
The back of Lin Xian’s soft, fair hand was scraped from the impact, blood beginning to seep through. Xiao Wanqing shot up, ready to fetch the first-aid kit from the nearby cabinet.
But Lin Xian reached out her trembling hand, stopping her. Her eyes were red, her voice thick with emotion. “Aunt Xiao… I’m not crazy. I just… I just cherish you…”
Xiao Wanqing stared at the girl’s bleeding hand and her reddened eyes. And suddenly, her own vision blurred.
All these years, she hadn't dared to mention that love—not to those unaware, not even in a whisper. Work was her only anesthetic. Colleagues snidely called her a show-off; old classmates, unable to meet up, whispered behind her back that she'd forgotten where she came from. She didn't dare to cry or laugh, forced to swallow every grievance. Of those who knew, Wen Tong berated her for being stupid, her parents scoffed, saying she deserved it.
But Lin Xian—only Lin Xian—said those words to her: "I just cherish you”.
She didn’t know where the flood of emotion came from—maybe it was childish, maybe melodramatic—but suddenly the tears wouldn’t stop. They rolled down, unstoppable, as if years of restraint had finally snapped.
Lin Xian took her hand and stood up. She had grown, and now she was nearly eye level with Xiao Wanqing. She stepped closer, looking at that gentle, tear-streaked face—and felt such an overwhelming urge to lean in and softly kiss away those tears…
But she bit down on her lower lip so hard it nearly bled, forcing herself to stay grounded. Instead, she lifted her arms and gently wrapped them around Xiao Wanqing, holding her delicate, slender frame tightly in her arms.
She whispered softly into her ear, “Thank you, Aunt Xiao. Thank you for your trust, for your honesty, for coming closer, for opening up.”
“From now on, I’ll be the one to cherish you.”
