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Chapter 48 - Today, not even one thing went right. No right time, no right place, no right people
🕑 Added 2025-05-02 13:30:32 +0000 UTCJust as Lin Xian's right hand brushed a few strands of hair from Xiao Wanqing’s cheek, her breath drawing close and lightly fanning across her skin, Xiao Wanqing snapped back to herself, abruptly stepping away.
Lin Xian’s lips grazed her cheek—softly, barely.
Xiao Wanqing had moved too quickly, too suddenly, her steps so hasty she nearly lost her balance.
For a fleeting moment, Lin Xian froze in surprise. Then, instinctively, she reached out and steadied Xiao Wanqing with swift hands. Her eyes locked onto Xiao Wanqing’s still-shocked expression, her gaze a bit dazed, unsure—then, a small, guileless smile bloomed on her lips. She lifted her right hand and showed it to Xiao Wanqing, explaining casually, “I saw some bubbles in your hair and on your shoulder. I was just trying to brush them off for you.” She tilted her head innocently. “Didn’t you say earlier that once they dry, they’re hard to wash out?”
Xiao Wanqing stood frozen in place, her eyes fixed on the girl’s clear and unclouded gaze. The warmth from the accidental brush of her lips still seemed to burn against her cheek...
A blush rose slowly on her face, creeping all the way to the tips of her ears, exposed to the air after Lin Xian had tucked her hair back. They were crimson—red enough to bleed.
Where had her thoughts just gone? What kind of ridiculous, terrifying idea had flashed through her mind?
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip.
And yet the girl in front of her seemed completely unaware of her turmoil. Her eyes wide and blinking with concern, she asked, “Aunt Xiao, what happened just now? You nearly fell.”
Xiao Wanqing turned her gaze away, unable to meet Lin Xian’s eyes. Her thoughts were a mess, tangled. Her fingers unconsciously brushed the spot on her cheek, and for a moment, she couldn’t even think straight, couldn’t figure out how to explain herself.
“I just…” she murmured, but nothing more came out.
When Xiao Wanqing had flinched back so dramatically, Lin Xian had felt a sharp pang of disappointment. But then—then there was the faint, velvety warmth of her lips grazing that soft skin. It had sent fireworks exploding in her chest.
Did she… accidentally kiss Aunt Xiao’s face just now?
Oh my god. A milestone! Lin Xian almost squealed aloud.
And Xiao Wanqing had reacted with such shock, such urgency… that kind of response could only mean she’d imagined something that shouldn’t be imagined.
Did she sense something?
A secret thrill flickered in Lin Xian’s chest. Her greatest fear was that Xiao Wanqing would always see her as just a harmless, clueless little girl.
Lin Xian tried hard to suppress the smile threatening to break across her face. She waited eagerly for Xiao Wanqing to offer some awkward excuse—but then noticed the woman hadn’t said another word after her half-sentence.
Puzzled, she looked up, only to find Xiao Wanqing staring past her, gaze locked on something—or someone—behind her. The panic and shy confusion in her watery eyes from moments ago had vanished, replaced by a calm, unreadable stillness. Her lips were pressed into a straight, tight line. The warmth from her face was gone without a trace.
Startled, Lin Xian followed her line of sight, turning around to see what had changed.
It was Christmas Eve—not a traditional Chinese holiday, but in recent years, it had become more popular than some of the traditional ones, thanks to retail promotions. Maybe because it was the weekend, the square was extra crowded. Couples strolled hand in hand, families wandered with their children and elders, people milled about—some rushing, some lingering, some chatting, some silent. At a glance, it all seemed typical. Nothing out of the ordinary.
She scanned the crowd, still trying to figure out what had unsettled Xiao Wanqing so much.
Then she saw it.
In the near distance, a couple stood with their child. The woman, who had been bent low talking to the little girl, suddenly straightened and turned around, as if sensing something. Her eyes lifted and locked onto them.
Almost at the same time, Lin Xian heard Xiao Wanqing speak beside her, her voice gentler and softer than usual, so light it barely reached her ears: “Is it almost time for our reservation? Let’s go eat.”
Lin Xian turned at the sound. Xiao Wanqing had already turned her back on her, facing away from the square. Just one step away, her tall, slender figure seemed abruptly cut off from all the liveliness and cheer around them. Her ear—just a moment ago tinged with crimson—was now drained of color, pale against the night air.
Lin Xian tilted her head slightly. That woman—she was still watching them. Staring at the figure in front of her, at the woman Lin Xian cared about.
Something dropped in Lin Xian’s chest with a dull thud.
The brightness in her eyes slowly dimmed, her face tightening. She turned quickly and caught up to Xiao Wanqing in a few brisk steps. Reaching out instinctively, she tried to take her hand as she always did—her fingers lightly touching the delicate, cool hand swaying by her side in the winter breeze.
But just as she brushed it, before she could grasp it, Xiao Wanqing flinched. Like a startled bird, she jerked her hand away.
Lin Xian stopped in her tracks, frozen, stunned.
Xiao Wanqing had reacted purely on instinct. But once her thoughts caught up, she realized what she had just done. Her fingers curled slightly as she turned back and met Lin Xian’s gaze, awkward and regretful, hoping the girl hadn’t noticed her out-of-place reaction.
But in the very next second, she saw it—clear as day—in the girl’s bright, wounded eyes.
Hurt. And disappointment.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart tightened, like it had been pricked by something sharp.
Forcing a smile, she tried to smooth over the moment. “I zoned out just now. Come on, let’s go.” She reached out and gently took Lin Xian’s soft, warm hand in hers.
She didn’t know how strained and forced that smile looked from Lin Xian’s point of view—how much it ached to see.
Lin Xian looked at her deeply, lowered her gaze slightly, and then tightened her grip in response. Her eyes darkened for a fleeting second.
Just a few months ago, Wen Tong had mentioned that that woman was planning for a second child. But judging by her visibly rounded belly just now, it clearly wasn’t just two or three months along.
If she had already chosen a new life, if she had betrayed so thoroughly, why was she still showing up like this—by chance, and yet never really gone?
A quiet storm brewed in Lin Xian’s heart.
Very soon, Lin Xian had her emotions back in check. She tucked away the barely perceptible sharpness in her eyes, raised her head, and looked at Xiao Wanqing with a bright, spring-like smile once again. As if she had completely forgotten the earlier unpleasantness, she joked sweetly, “Aunt Xiao, your hands are so cold.”
Xiao Wanqing was pulled out of her drifting thoughts. She perked up slightly and gently rubbed Lin Xian’s hands, teasing, “That’s why I need my little heater to help warm them up.”
Lin Xian’s eyes curved into a smile. She naturally followed the conversation, turned to the side, and reached out to take Xiao Wanqing’s hands in hers. She cupped them in front of her chest and rubbed them gently. Then she lowered her head and blew warm breath onto them, her smile soft and radiant. “Does that feel warmer now?”
Xiao Wanqing looked at Lin Xian’s clumsy yet endearing gesture, and for a moment, a genuine smile bloomed on her face. Her brows relaxed, and she opened her fingers to hold one of Lin Xian’s hands, then slipped both their hands into her coat pocket. She answered softly, “Mm, it’s much warmer now.” The gesture was natural and effortless.
Feeling the warmth surrounding her hand, Lin Xian’s frustration completely faded. She leaned closer to Xiao Wanqing, standing shoulder to shoulder with her.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that woman was still watching them from afar.
The restaurant Lin Xian had picked surprised Xiao Wanqing. It was tucked away in a quiet little alley outside the plaza. Unlike the noisy crowds at the center of the square, this alley was nearly deserted, and passersby moved quickly. The bricks outside the restaurant were worn and aged, forming a stark contrast to the sleek, modern wall across the street. From the crack of the door came a faint, melodic singing voice. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, a warm and hazy light glowed from within.
There was a hidden-away, secret charm to it.
Xiao Wanqing pushed open the door. What greeted her first was a soft golden glow, so warm it was almost dazzling.
The restaurant had a Gothic style. The walls were covered in vintage yellow wallpaper with warm tones. Old-fashioned sconces flickered on the walls, casting a bright but gentle yellow light. The floor-to-ceiling windows were framed in natural brick forming a triangular peak. Opposite them was a bar, beside which stood an elegant faux fireplace that glowed as if real flames danced inside. Next to the fireplace, a special corner was reserved for a collection of instruments, hinting that live performances were a regular feature here.
At the moment, an old phonograph—one much like the one at Xiao Wanqing’s home—was spinning tirelessly, playing a nostalgic tune that floated softly through the space...
Lin Xian quietly observed Xiao Wanqing’s expression. Seeing clear admiration and wonder on her beautiful face, she finally relaxed.
Back in high school, Lin Xian had once copied down scattered quotes from Eileen Chang to enrich her writing. She remembered one line in particular: "When you love someone, you humble yourself to the dust—and from there, flowers bloom." At the time, she had admired the beauty of the sentence, but found it abstract and hard to grasp.
But tonight, sitting across from Xiao Wanqing, her mind tethered to the other woman every second, her mood rising and falling like a roller coaster in sync with Xiao Wanqing’s—she was finally beginning to understand what it meant.
The server brought over menus, and the two of them took turns ordering. Lin Xian noticed Xiao Wanqing had been curiously eyeing the wide array of instruments by the bar. She decided to play coy and said, “There’s no regular live band here, but they’ve got a full set of instruments. Can you guess why, Aunt Xiao?”
Xiao Wanqing furrowed her delicate brows and pondered for a moment before saying, “Are they for the diners to use?”
Lin Xian nodded eagerly and praised her without hesitation, “Aunt Xiao, you’re so smart—you guessed it right away.” Just then, a round of cheers erupted from a table not far away where seven or eight young men and women were seated.
One of the boys, urged on by the playful teasing of his friends, stepped up to the bar and sat on the stool before the microphone. He picked up a guitar and strummed it lightly. A clear, pleasant chord rang out. With a tender expression, he looked toward the table and, in a magnetic low voice, spoke into the mic, “Su Xinyao, this song is for you.”
The melody flowed from his fingertips, smooth and captivating.
The cheers from the audience easily overpowered the music itself.
Lin Xian watched the boy with a smile playing on her lips. She instinctively reached into the pocket of her wool coat and touched the folded sheet music she had carefully prepared. Her heart was fluttering with a mix of nervousness and excitement.
She wondered, What kind of reaction will Aunt Xiao have when she sees me go up there? Will she remember the childish promise I made to her back then?
Her heart softened as she glanced at Xiao Wanqing, a thousand thoughts and emotions swirling inside her.
Will she be surprised? Lin Xian had never seen Xiao Wanqing genuinely surprised and overjoyed before. What a breathtaking sight that must be...
But when she looked closely, she saw Xiao Wanqing had turned toward the stage, her expression distant and cold. Her brows were furrowed, her eyes shadowed, and there was even a bitter smile on her lips that sent a chill through Lin Xian.
Lin Xian’s heart tightened. She clenched her fists and cautiously asked, “Aunt Xiao, do you... not like it?” Not liking the place, the atmosphere, or perhaps the boy’s way of confessing—Lin Xian wasn’t sure.
The boy finished his song. Amid applause, he confessed earnestly, “Su Xinyao, will you be my girlfriend?”
Xiao Wanqing withdrew her gaze, shifted her cup slightly, and unconsciously stared at the ripples spreading through her drink. Her long lashes fluttered, and after a long silence, she murmured, “Maybe... I don’t like it very much.”
She knew she was misplacing her emotions.
Should she blame Yan Jia for leaving such deep, lasting marks on her life? Or blame herself—for remembering too well, for connecting everything too easily? The image of that familiar, yet distant woman she had seen earlier at the plaza—pregnant, surrounded by family—floated back into her mind, and even that bitter smile faded from her lips.
Lin Xian’s fingertips brushed against the neatly folded sheet music. She listened to Xiao Wanqing’s unfamiliar tone as she gave her answer, watched as her expression dimmed again. All the heat and joyful anticipation that had been swelling in Lin Xian’s heart—like a fire blazing bright—was doused in an instant, as if a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over her. It didn’t just extinguish the flame—it seeped deep, chilling her to the bone.
The boy’s confession at that table had dragged on, yet the girl in the audience never gave a reply. After a long, suffocating silence, the stillness was finally broken—not by an answer, but by a girl who quietly left her share of the bill, then turned and walked out the door without once looking back.
Lin Xian thought: today, not even one thing went right. No right time, no right place, no right people.
She lowered her gaze. In her pocket, she clutched that thin sheet of music—one she knew by heart—and crumpled it into a tight ball, without a sound.
Just like that, it was as if Xiao Wanqing had silently pinched off the little flower bud in her heart, one that had only just emerged from the dust and begun to bloom in the breeze…
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seju
Author's Note: Lin Xian: You said you didn’t like me! Auntie Xiao (gently kissing her): That’s because… I only like you. 💗
