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Honkai Impact: The Eroge Chapter 3 - The Captain (Part 3)
🕑 Added 2023-12-25 16:12:01 +0000 UTCAs much as I wished I could cash in my Dating Sim powers and exchange them for something that could actually help me survive this slaughterhouse of a world, I couldn't deny that it was pretty useful when we were on the same page.
I highly doubt that I would've been able to ingratiate myself with Himeko and Theresa with such little difficulty if the Game didn't pull its weight so well- maybe even a little too well in Theresa's case, as she was reaching Bond Level 2 from our lunch meeting alone.
Still, I knew that it wasn't enough to make me truly confident in my chances of keeping my job (along with my life), and an oblivious Theresa was quick to remind me of the main reason why as we walked down the corridors of the Hyperion.
"So, Captain, Himeko suggested that we use a C-Rank Mission in order to break the ice and allow you and the girls to get used to working with each other. There's one that was just posted to deal with Honkai Beasts gathering near the coastline, so if you're okay with it…"
This time, I didn't even flinch when time ground to a halt and a Dialogue Window popped up in front of my face, its cutesy pink color doing little to make me feel any better.
[A - Such a Mission is beneath me. It's better that I save my energy for ones that actually require my attention.
B - Of course. It's one thing to read about strategy in a textbook and another to apply it firsthand. I'm looking forward to working with my new colleagues.
C - I'd be glad to take you up on that. No mission is too small for me to ignore, and I trust Himeko-senpai's judgement on the matter.]
I still didn't have a good answer to the question of how I was supposed to actually carry out one of my primary duties as a Captain; commanding Valkyries, without anyone realizing I was a total fraud.
If I were just an ordinary Captain, perhaps I could've disguised any mistakes as a lack of practical experience (like the Option B here implied), but the Game had screwed me over when it had designed my backstory by making me some kind of one-in-a-million genius that was essentially the Durandal of Captaincy Candidates.
There was no room for errors. Perhaps superficial mistakes could be played off, but if I ever made the wrong call on a Mission, not only would it possibly put the lives of Valkyries and the people they were protecting in danger but it also had a high chance of exposing me for what I really was- an ordinary person playing at being a military commander.
The thought alone was enough to make my stomach tie itself into knots from stress. It also made me realize that no matter what the Game said, I was truly alone in this world. I couldn't confide in anyone, and I could never take off the mask of 'Captain' if I wanted to survive. No matter how compassionate Himeko and Theresa were, I didn't think for a second that they would let me remain the Captain of the Hyperion if they learned the truth (in the off-chance that they didn't outright hate me for deceiving them).
Not that I could blame them of course. Even if they believed that I would die if I were ever fired, it would still be my life versus the lives of the Valkyries in St. Freya and the people of Japan. If I were in their shoes, I knew what choice I would've made in a heartbeat. And it wouldn't be in favor of the side of the scale holding a single person.
So my façade had to be watertight, something much easier said than done, so that it never came to that.
And that was why I had to accept this mission. It may have seemed counterintuitive to take optional missions when I was a dancing monkey in a fancy hat, but it was actually integral to my survival plan.
I didn't have natural talents geared towards being a Captain- that was something that I already learned after my research session. However, what many people failed to realize is that talent wasn't everything. If mastery of a particular skill was like a race, then Talent was just a head start. Even without it, you could still run on the track provided you put in the necessary effort. Sure, you had to put in more work than those with talent, there was no two ways about it, but you could still reach the same heights as them if you work hard and work smart.
And I was ready to give it everything I had in order to reach even a mere fraction of the skill people thought I possessed. I already downloaded the course material for the Captaincy program that I'd supposedly passed, but that didn't change the fact that I couldn't exactly make up for the drills and practical exercises that were a part of the standard Schicksal Captaincy training.
Or so I'd thought. As it turned out, an opportunity was staring me in the face. As the Captain of the Hyperion, I wasn't obligated to take Missions that weren't B-Rank or above. Even for those that took place far away from our headquarters in Soukai City, my mandatory involvement was only limited to ferrying them to the drop location. That was why Theresa was asking me if I wanted to take command of the Mission instead of ordering me to.
From what I'd learned during my time on the laptop, most Captains didn't involve themselves with lower-Ranked missions because it was essentially extra work with little reward.
It was the same for me as well, but the main difference was that unlike other Captains, there was something I could gain from taking even the smallest Missions- practice. By taking Missions like this, I could actually learn how to do my job practically with little harm to the Valkyries involved because C-Rank Missions were essentially glorified pest removal as opposed to actual monster extermination. According to the records, the greatest injuries sustained by those taking on Missions C-Rank and below were broken bones, which could be healed within a week thanks to the enhanced healing of Valkyries and Schicksal's medical tech.
Of course, if I screwed up on Missions of such low difficulty it would reflect on me even worse than normal, but that was a risk I was willing to take. I may not have been a hotshot tactician, but I did have a healthy dose of common sense and a reasonable level of intelligence. Making strategies for operations on this level shouldn't be beyond me.
Or so I hoped. I really wouldn't know until I was actually in the field. But this was my best bet, because it was the route of minimal risk for both myself and those under my command. It would take a lot of time and energy on my part and make me seem like a weirdo to my colleagues, but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make. My situation demanded nothing less.
So with a sense of optimism I hoped would actually last more than a few hours, I chose Option C.
"I'd be glad to take you up on that. No mission is too small for me to ignore, and I trust Himeko-senpai's judgement on the matter."
[You have gained +5 Affection Points with Heroine Theresa!]
Almost as if to punctuate what the Window was telling me, Theresa beamed up at me, which combined with the post-melon juice skip in her step made her truly look her age.
"Heh, I'm sure she'll be glad to hear that! This was actually one of her few good ideas, though I'm not sure to feel about her being blackout drunk when she suggested it. And at 9 in the morning too, right before her class…"
I winced subtly at the suddenly empty look in Theresa's eyes with no small amount of sympathy. It was easy to forget about Himeko's alcohol addiction considering that it was just a funny character trait back when this world had just been a game to me, and one which didn't detract from her nobility to boot. However, I'm sure it was another thing entirely to deal with a colleague who was almost perpetually drunk at all times of the day in reality.
…Especially considering the fact that Himeko was a super soldier with physical attributes far surpassing anything ordinary humans could achieve. One could only shudder at the thought of how much property damage she had the potential to rack up if she were the violent type of drunkard. I didn't think she was, but you never really know.
Because of how anti-social I was, I didn't exactly get invited to any parties unless it was out of a sense of obligation, so I had no experience in dealing with drunken peers. Although frankly speaking, I was probably going to get said experience in droves soon enough; even if I'd been lucky enough to get SSR-Rarity Himeko (Sober) when we first met, there was no way that would last. Especially because unlike most people, her alcoholism wasn't time-gated. The only time I could be completely confident she wouldn't be absolutely wasted was when we were on a Mission.
Oh well. Just needed to tack that onto the list of things I needed to watch out for, I guess.
"By the way, Madam…" I said haltingly, trying to phrase my question properly without coming off the wrong way. "Will the Valkyries be… okay… with taking orders from me?"
What I was actually trying to ask was whether they'd be okay with receiving orders from a dude who was only a little bit older than them, but I guess this was good enough to get the crux of my point across. Maybe I had read too much Wattpad Honkai FanFiction against my own better judgement, but I couldn't help but wonder if I had to deal with discrimination for being male on top of everything else on my plate. That was kind of the main trope for students of all-female battle academies right?
And even if they weren't raging sexists, it was a nearly universal truth that teenagers and authority figures didn't really mesh well together. The teenage years were usually when our impulses were at their maximum level of power, which made it pretty hard to obey rules and learn discipline.
Therefore, in my opinion it was pretty reasonable to question if any Valkyries would listen to me in the first place, authority and skill be damned. I didn't exactly have a commanding presence, correlated by my rock-bottom Charisma Stat, and my goblin-tier social skills weren't exactly going to counter that in any conceivable way so the odds weren't looking too good if the future warriors under my command weren't the co-operative type.
Fortunately, there was hope.
"Of course, Captain! Discipline isn't exactly St. Freya's strong suit, but you definitely won't get any trouble from the girls. Some of them are… a little excitable, but they're all good kids." said Theresa, her hands on her hips and a confident smile gracing her face.
It was clear to me that she held great pride in her students, and I knew enough about her character to know that she didn't make empty promises.
That was enough to make me conclude that whatever problems I might face as the Captain going forward, they likely wouldn't come from the Valkyries themselves. Meaning the only significant problem left was me.
Both of us entered the elevator, and Theresa pressed the button to take us to a location I'd actually been pretty excited to see in person- the Bridge. The one location in the Hyperion that every player of Honkai Impact was undoubtedly familiar with.
I'm pretty sure my heart rate sped up noticeably as the elevator sped up through the bowels of the ship, something I'd only ever seen before as an intro animation on a phone screen. I couldn't help it. Despite all the fear and stress I felt over my situation, the sense of wonder I felt at witnessing the new world around me was still intact and raring to go. Things like the architecture of St. Freya, the high-tech battleship known as the Hyperion and so on were all stuff I could've never seen back in my old life, at least because of the way I had lived it. I was a small town kid who moved to another small town in a different country in order to study medicine at a small college. I was practically the definition of a country bumpkin, minus the stereotypical accent.
Therefore, in spite of everything, I couldn't help but take in every new experience in this world with the wide-eyed wonder of a child.
The elevator ground to a halt within a couple of seconds, and then I was greeted with an automated message that I'd never expected to hear in reality.
"Captain on Bridge!"
The doors opened with a slight hiss, and I took my first steps into what was essentially the heart of the Hyperion's operations.
It was everything I'd expected it to be and more. There were just things that couldn't be captured on a screen, even if the world around me was equally animated if not more. The ambience, the cool temperature, and the slight hum of the ship in the background. The view of the outside from the front was also spectacular, and made me truly appreciate just how large the Hyperion was even though I'd already seen it from the outside earlier.
However, I didn't pay attention to all that for more than a few seconds because my gaze was drawn to the three people standing ahead of me, all of them wearing the classic Schicksal NPC uniforms. Likely the ship's operators, who were normally inside those small pods near the front of the Bridge. Even with a certain AI handling the lion's share of running the ship at the technical level, we still needed operators in order to make sure everything functioned properly. That was just how much of a complicated vessel the Hyperion was, and why these people were essential.
As we drew close to the Bridge's main operations platform, all three women (who appeared to actually be triplets because they looked identical) snapped to attention and saluted the two of us.
Almost immediately, I heard the shutter-snap of a camera emanating from all around me, and a Window popped up.
[A New Picture has been added to the Gallery! "Captain on Bridge", Unlocked! You have gained +2 to all Stats! You have gained +2 Affection Points with all Heroines! Congratulations! Wisdom has Reached Rank 2: Learned! You have gained a new Skill! Analyzing Eye, Unlocked!]
It was fortunate that I was such a fast reader, because I managed to read the entirety of the words written on the floating screen in the few seconds it took us to close the distance and grind to a halt.
'A Stat Rank-Up and a new Skill, huh? Guess I needed to put some experimentation on my itinerary.'
That was the thought that went through my mind as I saluted the three operators in turn. I could've waited for the Game to chime in with some kind of Dialogue Window or something, but I felt like relying on it to such a degree would ultimately be detrimental. After all, the cure to bad social skills wasn't letting something else speak using your body.
Although, I'm sure it was okay at some points. Maybe 75% of the time.
I saluted them back, and tried not to sweat as I quickly brainstormed what the proper thing to say in this situation.
"Good afternoon." I said, trying to feign calm. My face was permanently stuck in a dead stare, so I didn't really need to try in that regard, but I sometimes had trouble trying to get the right tone and volume I wanted. "Thank you for your hard work- both up to this point, and in the future. I look forward to working together with you all going forward."
There. That was at least passable, right? Right?
[You have gained +1 Affection Point with Heroine Theresa! For attempting to communicate with your crew and amusing a Heroine, you have gained +3 Charisma!]
'Attempting' to communicate? Amusing a Heroine? God, I must've sounded so lame if the Game was essentially giving me freaking pity points.
Well, if three operators had thought of it as such, they certainly didn't show it on their faces; allowing me to avoid taking critical emotional damage. Instead, they wore small smiles and nodded in unison, thanking me and stating their own similar intent before taking a small pathway near the Bridge's main area to return to their pods at the front. I'm not sure what they were doing there when the ship wasn't currently doing anything other than float, but hey, more power to them if they wanted to stay on top of their game even if it wasn't strictly necessary. That was the kind of work ethic I respected.
A small finger poked me in the side as I tried to surreptitiously wipe off the beads of sweat that had cropped up along my brow. I looked down to see a grinning Theresa at my side.
"There's no need to be so nervous, you know? None of us are going to bite!"
I felt my resolve to become more socially competent crumbling in real-time. I was actually hopeless without the Game feeding me lines, wasn't I?
Caught up in the shame I felt thanks to my own personal failings, I couldn't do anything more than let out an "Of course" that sounded more lame to my ears than it should've been.
Something Theresa found highly entertaining, because she broke out into a small fit of giggles.
[You have gained +1 Affection Point with Heroine Theresa!]
That was the only consolation to the embarrassment I was feeling. Still, I didn't let the feeling linger for long though, and I moved over to the deceptively small orange-colored terminal that I knew from my reading session was my primary workstation on the Bridge. This was the master control station for the ship's operating systems, and combined with my authorization (or Theresa's) would allow the Hyperion to unleash the full extent of its functionality.
…In the rare case when it was necessary, of course. Not like I could bust out all of the vessel's weapons whenever I felt like it, because this wasn't a work of fiction anymore- each shot the ship fired would literally cost at least a thousand dollars. Sure, half of the Far East's budget was allocated towards the Hyperion, but that still didn't mean it could be used without care.
Anyways, now that I was at what I'd now dubbed the Terminal (my naming sense is stellar, I know), I proceeded place my palm flat on a panel that had appeared on screen as we drew close and didn't flinch when it flashed momentarily and proceeded to scan it.
This was what Theresa had brought me here for. Apparently, even though I was registered as the Captain of the Hyperion in Schicksal's systems, the same didn't apply to the ship's own OS, which was a separate entity that wasn't connected to them. A smart choice, and one that showed Theresa didn't trust Otto fully despite the latter having edited out certain incriminating memories from her mind using Fenghuang Down.
To be fair, you didn't even need to know about his countless crimes to peg him as a creep if you remained in his presence for more than 5 minutes, but I digress.
That aside, this was essentially the final step in the process of me truly becoming the Captain of the Hyperion. When Theresa had come to meet me earlier, that had essentially been a last minute surprise interview to see if I was truly trustworthy enough to be given control of the ship- one I had unintentionally bulldozed through thanks to the power of Chicken Stir-Fry and Bitter Melon Juice.
It was actually insane and horribly nerve-wracking, looking back, because with the benefit of hindsight I realized just how careful Himeko and Theresa had actually been. And how close I'd actually come to blowing it.
If I hadn't made the right Dialogue Choices and spoken the words I had with Himeko earlier, or if Theresa hadn't shown up in the state she had and ended up being completely distracted by food, it's highly possible I would've been fired immediately or in the best case scenario relegated to a mere figurehead.
The realization of how close I'd already come to death had been enough to raise my blood pressure by another 10 points. It also made me realize that I couldn't drop my guard for even a second, at least until I reached the point where we were besties. While they weren't super geniuses like Tesla or Einstein, Theresa and Himeko were far more intelligent than I'd given them credit for. Himeko had made it sound like I'd apparently done them a favor by opting to become the Captain of the Hyperion, but even then they'd put me through some good old Two-Factor Authentication.
I should've been ecstatic. Having intelligent and good-natured colleagues was practically a dream come true for just about anybody working a job. That went double for me, who had suffered with co-interns whose brains could generously be described as 'vestigial' and superiors who couldn't see past their own egos 90% of the time.
Unfortunately, as my luck would have it, when I finally got colleagues with actual brain cells, it had to be in a situation where I had to be worried about said brain cells being used against me. And it was completely justified, to boot!
I barely restrained a sigh as the scan continued, distracting myself with the orange screen that had projected itself from the Terminal, with sentences rapidly appearing and disappearing before one final set of words remained.
-Registration Confirmed. Welcome, Captain Hyperion-
The Game also decided to chime in, even though it had no reason to feel left out.
[Congratulations! Due to fulfilling a Special Condition, you have gained a new Skill! Captain's Authority, Unlocked!]
Okay, Analyzing Eye had sounded pretty interesting but this Skill had my attention. Maybe it was too much to hope for, but that sounded a lot like something that could help me claw myself out of this quagmire I'd found myself in.
Though I was still keeping my fingers crossed. Knowing the Game, it would probably be something like 'improved Bond gain with Heroines when on the Hyperion' or at least close to that.
Lifting my hand from the panel, I turned to see if Theresa had anything more to say to me, but before I could fully move a flash of light caught my attention, drawing my attention back towards the Terminal. A doll-sized figure had appeared standing on top of it, the points of flickering pixilation that dotted her body making it obvious that the newcomer was showing up as a hologram.
Probably because she didn't exactly have a physical body of her own.
"Hi, Captain!" Babbled the embodiment of the very ship I was standing inside, before she twirled around and struck a cute pose that would've suited her more if she currently didn't look like an off-brand Wii Mii. "I'm the dazzling idol of the Hyperion and your dependable assistant, the premier Artificial Intelligence of the Far East; Ai-Chan!"
Time immediately froze after her declaration, which is why I felt safe enough to grin widely.
Finally. I had been wondering when she was going to show up. My future partner in crime, a relic of the Previous Era that had gotten her ass beaten by Theresa before her remains were incorporated into the Hyperion, leading to her rebirth as the ship's AI.
Although for someone with such a history, she was fairly unassuming, even more so than in the original canon. From my game experience, I was expecting her to look about as old as Theresa, but instead she looked more like her ELF-style appearance in the Schicksal HQ Open World area.
Why this was, I couldn't really say; it could've been an energy related issue of some kind, or because Theresa had possibly only recovered her recently and she was still in her learning phase as a newborn (digital) lifeform.
That mystery could be solved later though. Currently, the major question I was being faced with was how I could con Ai-Chan into doing most of the professional aspects of my job. Himeko had made an off-hand mention of how Ai-Chan was the only reason why she could keep even barely manage the post of Captain despite not having the relevant training; information that was useful for me, who had even less of an idea as to what I was actually supposed to do and how.
I… did have a possible solution to this conundrum though, at least if the Dialogue Window in front of me meant what I thought it did.
[A - (To Theresa) An AI? Are you insane?! There's no way we can trust her!
B - Well well, I didn't know I was in the presence of a celebrity. I hope you can forgive me for my ignorance, Ai-Chan.]
To my surprise, there were only two choices this time, which was a first when it came to Dialogues. I'm not sure what the difference was or how the Game calculated how many Options to give, if it even did so in the first place and wasn't just going about it randomly.
Although it didn't really matter because I disliked both of them even though Option B was clearly the better one by a longshot.
I've always disliked teasing people even slightly, probably because the earliest 'teasing' I'd ever experienced myself was just poorly disguised small-scale bullying, and that sentiment never actually changed even when I grew up a bit and understood the actual difference between harmless teasing and outright mockery. It didn't help that teasing was also more outright dangerous these days, with people prone to going homicidal over things as tiny as someone stepping on their lawn or ringing their doorbell. If someone mistook your teasing for mockery, it wouldn't be out of the question for them to draw a weapon on you, and that was a risk I wasn't going to take when I didn't have to.
It just wasn't worth it to potentially spark a deadly conflict for a tiny, fleeting bit of fun.
However, it looked like I didn't really have a choice in the matter, because Option A was just… insulting, on multiple levels.
Even if I didn't know she whether she would go Skynet or not from my foreknowledge of this world, I still would've treated her with the same respect and trust I give everyone else because the first step towards creating a genocidal AI was treating it like either an unstable maniac ready to go off on a man-slaying rampage at the drop of a hat or a mindless machine that existed only to be a slave to humanity.
With a sigh, I chose the second Option and braced for another round of feeling myself say things and behave in a way that was totally out of character for me, something I felt like I'd been doing for years despite not even having these powers for a full day.
"Well well, I didn't know I was in the presence of a celebrity. I hope you can forgive me for my ignorance, Ai-Chan." I said, smiling mischievously, and my body moved on its own to tap the hologram on the head with a single finger and rub it gently. Surprisingly, there was some substance to it, along with a unique texture not unlike foam. It exactly on the level of what you'd expect from hard-light technology, but it wasn't just a projected image either.
I was kind of concerned that maybe I'd overstepped my boundaries a bit, but surprisingly enough Ai-Chan seemed to love my ministrations, even though i wasn't sure she had a true sense of touch. Her orange eyes closed happily and she leaned into my finger.
It was… fascinating. I know this kind of thing was common in anime, but it was my first time experiencing it for myself- the legendary power of the headpat.
[Ai-Chan Route has been Unlocked! You can now see "Heroine Status" with Ai Hyperion! +3 Charm!]
[Your current Status with Ai-Chan has changed to "?"!]
[Congratulations, you have Discovered a new Skill! Headpat, Discovered! +2 Charm!]
Even though I kind of suspected it (because Ai-Chan was technically a Playable Valkyrie, even if Lambda was a different version of her), I still had to fight down the urge to knead my forehead at the confirmation that yes, even a freaking AI wasn't safe from the Game's claws.
And why on Earth was my Heroine Status with her blocked out? It was more than a little unsettling.
Ai-Chan giggled and blushed, completely ignorant of my sudden turmoil, reminding me more of a small child than an AI capable of running a flying high-tach battleship.
…Which didn't make me feel any better, especially considering my intention was to manipulate her for my own sake, but that was nothing new at this point.
On another note however, this third new Skill I'd gained within the last quarter hour was pretty clear in what it did even though I didn't read the description, and had already activated. The tip of the finger that was stroking Ai-Chan's cartoonishly round and cabbage-like head (which I'd unconsciously kept doing even after regaining control of my body) was glowing silver, a phenomenon that didn't seem to be noticed by anyone else this time either.
Though, the same couldn't be said for the effect of the Skill.
[You have gained +10 Affection Points with Heroine Ai-Chan!]
The AI froze for a second, before letting out a happy wiggle. Suddenly, to my surprise, she dematerialized from the Console- and re-appeared right in front of me. On reflex, I held out my arms to catch her, forgetting that her 'body' was just a hologram and thus unaffected by gravity, although she floated down into my grasp so I didn't look like a donkey for doing so.
"You're forgiven!" She said, bearing a smile as large as her 'face' would allow and nestling into my arms a bit to make herself more comfortable. If an outsider were to look at us without knowing the context, they would've thought that I was holding a plushie like I was an 8 year old. "But don't you forget it, or I won't share my cabbages with you!"
Wait, she actually grew cabbages? I thought that was just a meme!
I had so many questions in response to this revelation, but one was more important than the rest- so I made sure to air it immediately.
"Are they organic?" I asked, the domestic side of me taking over for a minute.
Incidentally, I actually knew a great Pakodi recipe that used cabbages. Made for an excellent snack especially when paired with a good sauce (or ketchup, my personal preference), even if it wasn't exactly the healthiest.
"Of course! I'm offended you even had to ask, Captain!" huffed Ai-Chan indignantly. "I'll have you know that my cabbages are the pride and joy of the Soukai City Farmer's Market! You won't find better, healthier cabbages anywhere else!"
So Soukai City had a Farmer's Market. Now that was some useful information, because while my fridge has been stocked with the groceries from my original home, which were all organic themselves of course, it wasn't exactly a cornucopia that would replenish itself daily.
"I'll trust you on that, even if I'm not exactly sure how an AI can even farm organic cabbages in the first place. Do you have a robot doing the physical work for you?" I asked.
"Yep! The Hyperion has a few robots that are used for self-diagnosis and repair of the ship during operation, but since I can handle most of that myself I repurposed some of them into farming bots! I'm pretty brilliant, aren't I?"
It was certainly a novel way to overcome the limitation of, you know, not having a true physical body, that was for sure. Ai-Chan was certainly dedicated to her… hobby? That's what I was kind of getting the impression of here.
Although was it really all right to openly reveal that she was using Schicksal property for her own personal interests? I mean, Theresa was literally two feet away from us.
She wasn't saying anything though, just observing us with an odd expression on her face, so maybe it was ok.
"Yeah, that's pretty innovative considering your …situation. By the way, you mentioned a Farmer's Market earlier; do you know any good sellers I can buy some other organic fruits and vegetables from?"
[You have gained +2 Affection Points with Heroine Ai-Chan!]
"I sure do!" replied Ai-Chan, looking happy as a clam. "Should I mark their names down for you, Captain?"
"Please."
[You have gained +5 Affection Points with Heroine Ai-Chan!]
Quick disclaimer, by the way; It may have seemed like I was getting sidetracked here, but my head was still completely in the game.
After all, maintaining the false image of an excellent Captain wasn't the only thing I had to do in order to survive, it was simply the most difficult. Just like before I'd gotten booted into this world, as an adult I still needed to procure my own food, water and other necessities.
I had shelter along with power and running water provided for free thanks to my job (one of its few merits), but groceries and drinking water (no way was I going to drink tap water) were still on the list of things I needed to obtain. I'd never thought I would still have these kind of concerns in the off chance that I'd gotten Isekaid, but here I was.
That's why there was no way in hell I was letting go of an opportunity to procure organic cabbages for free, and find good vendors of other produce- picked out by a literal AI, no less. Organic food was valuable enough in my old life, back when all I had to contend with were pesticides and soil pollution. In this world, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a branch of one of the three main anti-Honkai organizations lacing crops and livestock with chemical weapons or something. With that kind of thing being a very real possibility, I don't think there was anything wrong with being proactive to secure a safe food source.
Although, admittedly, I probably should've picked a time when we were alone to talk about this topic. That was admittedly a mistake on my part, especially after just affirming that I had to be vigilant.
Lady Luck still hadn't totally forsaken me though, because instead of looking impatient or weirded out, Theresa looked like she was trying to… hold in her laughter?
What?
"Is… something the matter, Madam?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious. Did I suffer a fashion emergency or something?
That was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back, because my question caused a snicker to escape Theresa's mouth, one that eventually evolved into a fit of full-fledged laughter.
Ai-Chan and I looked at each other, equally bewildered, before turning back to the diminutive Valkyrie, who was nearly wheezing and slapping her knee.
"You… *snicker* You're so awkward with everyone, and always look so nervous, but… *wheeze* but cabbages is what gets you to come out your shell?"
[You have gained +2 Affection Points with Heroine Theresa!]
While I wouldn't say no to free Affection Points, I also didn't think there was anything to laugh at here. After all, it was a fact that people talked more about topics they were interested in, especially when the other party shared that interest.
Additionally, Ai-Chan just… felt easier to talk to than Theresa or Himeko, probably in large part due to the fact that I didn't put her on a pedestal like them. The latter two were legendary Valkyries, the kind of Heroes you only saw in the realm of fiction. I already had trouble socializing, and that only made things worse. Ai-Chan on the other hand was, apart from being an AI, fairly ordinary. Surprisingly, she was the least superhuman being in the cast, at least if you discount Lambda, who may or may not have been some Paradox version of her.
That was just how crazy this world was, especially from the perspective of an average person like me.
Still, it was pretty rude of Theresa to laugh like that- and Ai-Chan clearly thought so as well, because she got upset and just like a child, immediately went for the throat in retaliation.
"What's wrong with cabbages, huh? HUH? You're just jealous that Captain has good taste, while the only thing you can appreciate is the magical girl hentai you read in your office!"
Sorry, the WHAT?
I stared at Theresa in abject horror as the 40+ year old woman in the body of a 12 year old (a fact I was strongly reminded of one more time) suddenly began to choke, her laughter turning into mortification as Ai-Chan aired her dirty laundry without warning or even the slightest amount of hesitation.
The room went deathly quiet, apart from the sound of Theresa's dignity going down the drain. Ai-Chan had a look of smug satisfaction, not even realizing she'd just dealt more damage to the venerable Headmistress than any Honkai Beast she'd faced over the course of her long career as one of Schicksal's strongest.
As for me? I wished I could literally be anywhere else for reasons that didn't need explaining, and I had to focus my mind on the resplendent form of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Praise Be) in order to avoid... visualizing that scene in my young and impressionable mind. Thankfully, it was working. Mostly.
My cheeks were red only from secondhand embarrassment, and absolutely nothing else.
A crimson-cheeked, nearly steaming Theresa finally found her voice after nearly a minute of what had to be the most awkward silence I'd ever experienced (that wasn't because of me) and looked at us with glistening, mortified eyes, her entire body trembling slightly.
"I-I…" she stuttered, still reeling from the shock of Ai-Chan's betrayal and the destruction of her image in front of the people in the room, including the operator triplets who were very pointedly not looking our way. "I'm glad t-to see that you two are getting along, haha…"
"Y-yeah." I replied, unable to look her in the eyes and distracting myself by activating Headpat and immersing myself in Ai-Chan's foamy texture. "I-I'm sure we'll be great partners going forward."
[You have gained +10 Affection Points with Heroine Ai-Chan!]
"Yeah, Captain is the best!" cheered the fledgling AI, still oblivious to the catastrophe she'd wrought. "I'll do everything I can to help him! No one else has ever appreciated my cabbages before!"
I… felt like that wasn't exactly the best judgement criteria, but kept my mouth firmly shut because it was working out in my favor. In all honesty, I was kind of surprised by how childlike Ai-Chan actually was- significantly greater than anything I'd seen in canon. Seemingly getting attached to someone simply for appreciating their interests was a textbook behavioral pattern of children, at least from what I knew.
Still, I couldn't get too comfortable, because another characteristic of kids was how fickle they were, their opinions changing on a dime. If I wasn't careful with what I said, it would be me getting humiliated in public- something Theresa found out the hard way.
Speaking of which, the Valkyrie offered us a shaky smile through her mortification, seeming genuinely happy that we were getting along even though she sounded like she was on death's door.
"A-anyways, I just wanted to make sure that there wouldn't be any problems between you two, so I-I'll be going now. In the meantime, just familiarize yourself with everything and prepare for tomorrow's Mission, okay?"
"Of course, Madam." I replied, maybe a little too quickly. "I hope you have a pleasant day."
'You deserve it.'
It was clear to me that she was lying- in the sense that there was definitely more she wanted to talk to me about, but just wasn't able to do so anymore thanks to her composure and image being banished to the Shadow Realm. However, I felt no small amount of sympathy for her considering what had happened, so I didn't pry and tried to help her escape without losing face.
She nodded one more time, and I tactfully turned away as Theresa practically sprinted out of the Bridge and slammed her finger into a button on the elevator. I remained rigidly standing in place until I heard the elevator begin moving, only then allowing myself to relax my tensed shoulders with a sigh and drop my head- which meant I was making eye contact with a smiling Ai-Chan, who had turned around in my arms.
"See Captain? That's how you stop her from bullying you- you just need to show her who's Boss!" she whispered conspiratorially, nearly making me drop her and slam a palm into my face. "But don't you worry, just let me know if she tries to make fun of you again- I'll set her straight!"
I wasn't sure Theresa could survive being 'set straight' a second time, but I kept that thought to myself. Instead, I uttered the words I'd been meaning to say for the last minute, now that the embarrassment from the scene earlier was beginning to fade.
"Thank you, Ai-Chan. For sticking up for me." I said, with as much sincerity as I could muster.
Sure, I'd received TMI in the form of the truth behind what kind of 'Manga' Theresa was apparently into (which I was pointedly doing my best not to think about, especially regarding the implications) and the AI's retaliation was a little disproportionate compared to the initial offense, but the intent behind it wasn't something I could ignore.
I wasn't used to people standing up for me. Even if I'd had people who were nice to me, they were the kinds who did so only from the sidelines or behind closed doors. If someone had tried to start something with me, it had been up to me to both defend myself and make sure I didn't get in trouble despite being the victim. Sure, I doubt Theresa had meant what she'd said maliciously, because she wasn't that kind of person- but that didn't mean I wasn't touched by my new artificial companion's efforts to defend me, especially considering that we'd only just met. Himeko may have promised to protect me from Honkai Beasts, but Ai-Chan had attempted to protect me from being 'bullied', and I couldn't help but appreciate that.
[You have gained +5 Affection Points with Heroine Ai-Chan!]
"You don't have to thank me, it's only natural! Even if you were a heretic who didn't like cabbages, I am the Hyperion, and you're my trusty Captain!"
Well, that was something I had no qualms agreeing with.
"Ai-Chan, can you please bring up the files of the Valkyries who are taking the Mission tomorrow?" I asked, taking a deep breath and getting back on track. My eyes sharpened as I ran through a mental checklist of everything I needed to do in preparation for what was coming.
The Mission. My first Trial as the Captain of the Hyperion, the first challenge in my path to survival.
"Yes, Captain!"
Here was to hoping that I didn't die- or get someone killed.
