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Demon Slayer: Dragon Hashira#57: Kaidō: Can You Not Stare While I'm Changing? System: Please Continue, Host.
🕑 Added 2025-11-05 11:21:50 +0000 UTC"Squirming around like a disgusting earthworm!"
Inosuke struck first, his twin blades flashing as he precisely severed every obi sash and freed the imprisoned women.
The talking, demon-faced obi tried to ambush him from behind, but Inosuke's instincts had already detected it. He dodged effortlessly.
Having grown up in the mountains, Inosuke's sensitivity to danger and killing intent far exceeded that of normal humans.
"WAHAHA! You think a fat worm-ribbon can hurt me?? Crawl back to whatever hole you came from! AHAHA!"
SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!
'Tch, how annoying! Didn't expect him to be this sharp. Especially his detection of killing intent—no matter which angle I attack from, he notices immediately! What should I do? I worked so hard to store all this food...'
Daki's command echoed through the obi's consciousness as it strategized: 'Capture him alive. If that's not possible, eat a few people to strengthen yourself. Just leave the pretty ones for me! And once you're done, find that Chiko from Kyogoku House immediately and capture her. I want to savor her myself!'
"Beast Breathing, Sixth Fang: Palisade Bite!"
Inosuke swung both blades—one slashing at the obi, the other thrusting toward it.
The sash became flexible yet remained incredibly resilient. Inosuke couldn't sever it completely.
"Cutting me is pointless! I'm not the main body anyway! And any part you do cut grows back instantly. You sure you shouldn't be protecting those people you just saved?"
"??"
'Damn it, I have to fight while protecting them...'
WHOOSH!
A kunai shot through the air, pinning down an obi that was about to attack the civilians.
"Well said! 'Earthworm-ribbon' is spot-on! Absolutely disgusting!"
"Exactly! I'm telling Lord Tengen about this!"
"We'll help you fight too! Do your best, boar-head!" Two women emerged, wielding kunai as they joined the assault.
"Who are you?"
"We're Lord Tengen's wives. I'm Makio."
"I'm Suma! Though I'm not very good at fighting, so please don't expect much!"
SMACK!
Makio delivered a sharp slap to Suma's rear. "Idiot Suma! Don't say defeatist crap like that!"
Suma yelped and bounced in place, tears welling up. "But it's true! You know I'm terrible at combat, Makio! I got captured super fast earlier!"
Inosuke: "..."
Suddenly, Inosuke sensed someone behind him. He turned—it was Zenitsu, still fast asleep.
"Thunder Breathing, First Form: Thunderclap and Flash!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Like a lightning strike, Zenitsu delivered a multi-hit combo at blinding speed, severing all surrounding obi sashes. Once the attack finished, he remained in his drawing stance, still completely unconscious.
Two muscular mice stood nearby, having delivered his sword.
Inosuke: "You're definitely better asleep."
"That boy's with the Demon Slayer Corps too? How adorable!"
"Suma, focus!"
The demon-faced obi assessed the situation, growing uneasy.
'Two sounds overlapped like thunder crashing together. One from here... and another from above!'
CRASH!
A deafening explosion tore open the ceiling. Through the settling dust, a figure emerged—a woman in a provocative kimono, wielding a massive greatsword.
"Phew~"
'Not good! This presence—it's a Hashira!!'
"Water Breathing, Third Form: Flowing Dance!"
SLASH! SLASH! SLASH!
Kaidō moved like flowing water, his greatsword carving through the air. Dozens of afterimages trailed in his wake. In mere moments, every obi sash had been severed.
"Wow! So cool and cute!"
Suma immediately rushed forward and threw herself at Kaidō, her chest nearly smothering him once again.
Tengen dropped down moments later. Kaidō immediately shouted: "Tengen! Control your wife! She's ramming me with those things again!"
BONK!
Makio delivered a knuckle sandwich to Suma's head. "Idiot Suma! Let go! You're suffocating her!"
"Ow! Lord Tengen, look—Makio hit me again!"
"Hahaha! Alright, Makio, Suma—I'm relieved you're both safe! Now let's flamboyantly kick some ass! ...Kaidō, where are you going?"
Kaidō walked toward a shadowy corner. Looking back, he said simply, "Changing clothes."
"Lord Tengen, he's... the Dragon Hashira??" Suma seemed confused.
"Yeah. He disguised himself like that to help me rescue you. That blond kid's also male!" Tengen answered.
"Eh?? How can someone so cute be a boy?? What a waste!" Suma sounded genuinely disappointed.
Tengen ruffled both their heads affectionately. "You two performed flamboyantly! That's my wives for you!"
As the three shared their moment, Inosuke called out: "Hey, Festival God! The earthworm-ribbons escaped through the holes!"
"Can't you read the room?? The captured people are safe—that's what matters! Compliment me first, then we'll deal with the rest after Kaidō changes! Priorities!"
————
A few moments later, Kaidō kept reaching for his collar, then hesitating. Finally, he couldn't help but turn around. "Can you NOT stare at me while I'm changing? Especially you, Zenitsu—what's with the drooling while you're asleep??"
Following Tengen's instructions, Makio, Suma, Inosuke, and Zenitsu stood watching the shadowy corner where Kaidō was preparing to change. None of them saw anything wrong with this arrangement.
Not until Kaidō called them out did they realize how inappropriate it was.
But sleeping Zenitsu continued drooling, his expression somewhat perverted.
Tengen: "Hahaha! We're all guys here—what's there to be embarrassed about??"
"Being seen by women is whatever, but you three grown men watching another guy change clothes doesn't make you feel even a LITTLE ashamed??!"
Kaidō felt anger rising, but then he remembered the Queen experience card hadn't expired yet. An idea struck. His lips curved into a smile. 'Hehehe, can't blame me for this!'
"All five of you—kneel before me!" The Queen's authority radiated outward once more.
THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD!
All five dropped to their knees simultaneously, foreheads pressed to the ground. Makio and Suma looked completely bewildered. Tengen seemed genuinely frustrated—he had no idea why hearing Kaidō order him to kneel made his body obey automatically.
"Tengen-san, you wouldn't want me kidnapping your three wives to be my little sister's maids, would you?" As he spoke, Kaidō's smile turned seductive and dangerous.
"Eh? Maids??" Makio and Suma gasped.
"That's not flamboyant at all!"
"OR, you could all go handle the mission, and I'll change clothes and catch up with you later??!"
"Haha! Right, forgot about that! Makio, Suma—im going, be careful!"
"You two idiots, come with me!" Tengen grabbed Inosuke and Zenitsu by their belts, leapt out of the hole, deposited them on a rooftop, then started sprinting across the district.
"Out of the way! The flamboyant Tengen Uzui is coming through! WAHAHA!"
"Damn it! Too fast! Can't keep up!"
Watching Tengen disappear with Inosuke and Zenitsu.
————
'System, where's my Demon Slayer Corps uniform?'
[Ding~ Responding to Host: You changed out of it and left it at the Wisteria House.]
'I distinctly remember putting it in system storage!'
[Host, your memory is mistaken.]
'Ugh. Whatever. Exchange a new outfit for me. This kimono's too restrictive for combat.'
[Affirmative, Host. Exchange complete.]
If Kaidō knew the System had deliberately left his uniform at the Wisteria House, he'd probably have a complete meltdown and find a way to drag the System out for a beating.
Just as Kaidō pulled his robe down to his chest, exposing his shoulders, the System's sultry female voice echoed in his mind.
[Slurp~]
Hearing that sound, Kaidō immediately yanked the clothing back up. A vein popped on his forehead.
[Host, please continue. Pretend I'm not here.]
'You motherfu—'
Only then did Kaidō remember—the System could see everything through his perspective. He closed his eyes and changed in darkness.
[System: Ah, what a shame!]
After changing, Kaidō retied his hair into a ponytail. His face was a mask of barely restrained fury as he "calmly" addressed the System.
'System. Explain this outfit. Right now.'
[Responding to Host: This system's clothing exchanges are randomized and complimentary.]
The outfit consisted of a sleeveless turtleneck sweater with a white hooded jacket over it, extending to hip level.
The pants were tight denim short-shorts, exposing a generous amount of pale leg.
'I call bullshit! You perverted System—you're rotten to the core!'
[Thank you for the compliment, Host~ ♡]
"Ugh. Forget it. I need to go support them!" Without overthinking, Kaidō activated sword flight and shot out of the hole toward Tengen's location.
