Dragoniax
patreon
Demon Slayer: Dragon Hashira#75: Shopping with Kaido?
🕑 Added 2025-11-23 14:04:10 +0000 UTC"NOOO! Why do I have to wear something this embarrassing just to go shopping with you??"
Kaido—currently dressed as Chiko—was trapped in a short cheongsam that ended mid-thigh, wooden sandals on his feet, sprinting through the Butterfly Mansion like his life depended on it.
Kanae pursued relentlessly from behind, finally catching him and wrapping her arms around him in an inescapable embrace.
"Kaido-chan, you can't escape! You promised you'd do anything I asked!"
"No, please! (X﹏X) Have mercy!"
The Butterfly Mansion's medical staff wisely kept their distance. They'd all fallen victim to Kanae's "demonic clutches" at one point or another.
When Kaido wasn't around, they became the unwilling dress-up dolls.
That's why Shinobu kept luring Kaido back to the mansion—it spared the rest of them from another round of fashion torture.
"Shinobu-nee, I'm adding this to the list!" Kaido shouted as Kanae dragged him away.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The Next Day.
Kaido barricaded himself inside his estate, refusing to emerge no matter what. Even when Retsuki said the Butterfly Mansion needed him, he wouldn't budge.
"Is the Dragon Hashira home?" A woman's voice called from the gate.
Kaido poked his head out cautiously. He didn't recognize her.
"Can I help you?"
Risa looked at the Dragon Hashira—a full head shorter than herself—and accidentally blurted out what she was thinking. "You're so tiny and adorable!"
"...What did you just say?"
"N-nothing! I'm sorry! My name is Risa Naoko, Kanoe-ranked swordsman and Water Breathing user."
"You use Water Breathing too? And you're Kanoe rank—sounds like you're getting stronger."
"You're too kind, Dragon Hashira-sama. Actually, I came here hoping you might teach me Water Breathing. I want to become stronger!"
Risa held her breath. She knew Hashira were incredibly busy—most didn't have time to train individual Corps members. But she had to try.
"Sure. I can do that."
"Wait, really?? Thank you so much, Dragon Hashira-sama!"
"Don't thank me yet. I can teach you, but whether you can handle the training is up to you."
"Yes, sir! I'll work as hard as I possibly can!"
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Over the following week, Risa trained at Kaido's estate under his direct supervision. He drilled her relentlessly on Water Breathing forms and sparred with her using wooden swords.
"Your Third Form is too slow..."
"Still not fast enough..."
"Too many openings. Don't lift your leg that high..."
"I told you to practice sword techniques—why is your butt sticking up in the air like that...?"
Day after day, Risa's understanding of Water Breathing deepened. Her movements became sharper, her forms more refined. The glaring weaknesses in her technique gradually disappeared.
On the seventh day, Kuroha arrived with urgent news: Retsuki was in trouble at the Butterfly Mansion.
Kaido immediately dropped everything and rushed over.
Before leaving, he turned to Risa. "You've got a solid grasp of Water Breathing now. But if you want to truly improve, you need real combat experience. If you have questions, you know where to find me."
"Yes, Dragon Hashira-sama! I'll become stronger—I won't let anyone down!"
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Butterfly Mansion.
When Kaido arrived, he found Retsuki cheerfully washing bedsheets alongside Aoi and the three helpers. There was no crisis whatsoever.
"Big brother! What are you doing here?"
"My crow told me you were in trouble, so I rushed over. What's going on?"
"I'm fine! I've been having a great time. Who told your crow I was in trouble?"
"Kuroha, who sent you to tell me Retsuki needed help?"
"Caw! The Insect Hashira!"
The moment those words left the crow's beak, goosebumps erupted across Kaido's skin. An icy chill crept up his spine.
He bolted.
Too late.
Delicate hands pressed down on his shoulders. Warm breath tickled his ear.
"Caught~ you~"
"I'm... I'm doomed... my brain's melting again..."
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Downtown Shopping District.
Kanae held Kaido's right hand. Shinobu held his left. They strolled down the street, window-shopping with entirely too much enthusiasm.
"Is it really necessary to hold my hands? I'm not a child!"
"Oh my~ I wonder who got lost during the Cherry Blossom Festival and was found crying like a baby? Ufufu~" Kanae's smile was angelic and terrifying.
"That's right! I wonder which little someone sobbed their heart out?" Shinobu added with equally vicious sweetness.
"I—" Kaido opened his mouth, realized he had no defense, and shut up.
"Oh, Shinobu! There's a clothing boutique over there! Let's take Kaido-chan inside!"
"Perfect!"
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The boutique was packed with inventory—cheongsams, kimonos, casual wear, maid uniforms, everything imaginable.
"So many beautiful outfits!" Kanae dragged Kaido from rack to rack, holding up various garments and comparing them against him.
A kimono-clad saleswoman approached with a professional smile. "Welcome! Is there anything I can help you ladies with today?"
"Oh yes! Could you help us pick out some outfits for our adorable little sister to try on?"
"Of course! Please follow me!"
The saleswoman selected several maid uniforms and cheongsams, leading them toward the fitting room. She was about to help Kaido undress when the Kocho sisters intervened.
"Wait! We'll handle the outfit changes!"
Before they could reach the fitting room, Kaido slammed the door shut and locked it.
"Could you two please consider my feelings for once? Ever heard of personal boundaries??"
Kanae blinked. Right—Kaido was actually a boy. She kept forgetting because he looked so perfect in these outfits.
"Oops! Sorry, sorry, Kaido-chan! Big sister made a mistake! Just change into the outfit and come show us, okay?"
Kaido had no choice. He surrendered to his fate.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Several minutes later, Kaido emerged wearing a black-and-white maid uniform.
"Wow! That outfit really suits you, Kaido-chan! Could you maybe wear it tonight and give your big sister a shoulder massage? Please?" Kanae's eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Absolutely not! What kind of weird fantasy are you cooking up??"
"Okay, okay! Try this one next!" Kanae pulled a red cheongsam from a nearby rack and thrust it into Kaido's hands.
Kaido stared at the garment. It was beautiful—but incredibly short, ending mid-thigh.
Seeing his hesitation, Kanae clasped her hands together. "Please? Pretty please? I'll buy you candy!"
"..."
He stomped back into the fitting room. Rustling sounds echoed from inside.
When Chiko (Kaido) emerged in the red cheongsam, the saleswoman's eyes lit up like fireworks.
"Excuse me, miss! Would your lovely sister be interested in modeling for our boutique? Money is no object—we'll pay whatever she wants!"
Kaido felt like livestock being appraised for auction.
"I appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid that won't work. Chiko-chan is our precious little sister, and we're all far too busy to commit to something like that." Kanae's polite refusal was firm.
"I see. What a shame..." The saleswoman looked genuinely disappointed. She could tell Chiko was a natural clothes hanger—a model who'd draw customers in droves.
If only she knew Kaido was male. The revelation would've been spectacular.
After leaving the boutique, the sisters took Kaido to a small restaurant and ordered three servings of grilled eel over rice and three plates of tempura.
After an entire day of shopping, Kaido's legs ached and his feet hurt. He couldn't comprehend how women had infinite stamina for shopping—like they'd tapped into some limitless energy source.
He made a solemn vow: Never again.
If anyone tried to make him go shopping after this, he'd accept any curse imaginable. Let Muzan's experiments blow up in his face! Let Yoriichi's ghost chase him through nightmares! Let him trip over his own feet every time he walked! Let drunks harass him constantly when crossdressed! Hell, let Muzan accidentally teleport himself into direct sunlight and spontaneously combust!
System: [Why do I suddenly feel like something terrible is about to happen?]
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Meanwhile, Infinity Castle.
Muzan was conducting experiments in his laboratory when an inexplicable chill ran down his spine. A sense of impending doom washed over him.
He fumbled with a vial.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The mixture exploded in his face.
"DAMN IT! I was this close to perfection! How could I make such a rookie mistake??" Muzan roared at the smoking crater where his workspace used to be.
"Everything's going wrong lately. No news about the Blue Spider Lily. This is definitely that white-haired demon slayer's fault somehow!"
"Nakime! Summon Doma. Now."
"Yes, my lord."
Comments
Jaded
At this point if I was Kaido I’d be screaming at Kanae and Shinobu to “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” Like bro at this point I feel bad for him.
