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Life update đ§ïž
🕑 Added 2025-06-19 00:40:30 +0000 UTCHi patronites đ
I know Iâve been sharing bits of whatâs been happening lately, but the truth is⊠it wasnât enough to explain everything thatâs behind the delays and my absence this month. And I needed to give you a real update, raw and honest...
This month has been a storm. From the very beginning, I had to deal with situations that demanded all of my time, energy and emotional strength. And not even my own problems... but the ones that other people caused and left for me to fix. People I deeply care about, who keep making irresponsible choices and expect me to carry the weight for them.
And I do. Again and again. Even when it hurts. Even when I know I shouldnât. Because unfortunately, I knew I was the only one able to do something about it. And sometimes I feel like Iâm only here to clean up other peopleâs mess. To solve, to pay, to rescue. And I ask myself a million questions⊠Why is it so hard to set boundaries? Even when we know we have to. Because otherwise, people keep stepping on us. And honestly? That kind of situation is way too familiar for me. Itâs like I never learn.
Then I ended up getting sick again. My throat is always the first to go when I hold in too much. I "swallow" my thoughts and emotions, quietly, until my body screams. But Dani is "strong", right? Danielle can handle everything alone... But Iâm tired of being âthe strong oneâ. I didn't want to be that strong. Not all the time.
And this month⊠it was just too much. June hurts like hell.
So many triggers... Nightmares almost every night, waking up crying from dreams that feel too real. There are days I feel exhausted before my day even starts â€ïžâđ©č
June is the month when the fight for Lia began. She passed away on June 2nd, just after midnight, but the whole day of the 1st was already dedicated to saying goodbye. And in the week before that, we fought so much to keep her alive... She wouldâve died on June 29, the same day Duda passed away, but I guess both me and her couldnât let that happen. We just couldnât. So we managed to get her a few extra days, but no matter how hard we tried, we couldnât save her đ„ Because the truth is⊠her time was already up. And I know that đ But when you love that deeply, how do you not fight? How do you not beg the universe for just a little more time?
And speaking about that. June 29 is coming again. It's now been 5 years since I lost my brother... I still remember Brunaâs voice on the phone, telling me he was gone. Her words still echo in my heart, stuck in my throat.
He was my lighthouse. And when a ship loses its light⊠it drifts.
I drifted for a long time. Sometimes I still do.
I have this thing where I want to save everyone.
But how can I, when Iâm barely saving myself? When I couldnât do anything to save the ones who mattered the most?
And on top of all that⊠thereâs the rain. Again. And with it, a storm of emotions.
Many cities are flooding very quickly. And I feel like Iâm bracing for impact. I donât want to believe this is the new normal... But maybe it is đ The world feels sick. And so do the people in it. Itâs overwhelming.
I wanted to say all that, just for you to know, that I've been in a bad place mentally. And all of this affected my work. My focus. My motivation. I even had to take a few extra therapy sessions just to... breathe again...
But well, I know there are still a few pending things around here, and Iâm really sorry for the delays âčïž Iâm finishing the remaining May rewards this week and Iâll update the Dropbox as soon as everythingâs ready. There's still many prints to sign, but I couldn't do it now... There's May 24 rewards to finish editing as well. Not to mention some other sponsored or OF content that I owe... so yes, Iâm really behind. But Iâm getting there đ„ș
Thank you for sticking with me , even when I canât show up as the âbestâ version of me.
New content is on its way. But before posting about it, I really needed to vent.
Thanks for reading me đ„ș
Love you guys.
I hope your June has been kinder than mine â€ïž
â
VersĂŁo curtinha em portuguĂȘs pros BR que ficaram com preguicinha de ler đ :
Esse mĂȘs tĂĄ sendo um absurdo de ruim. Tive que lidar com situaçÔes familiares pesadas, fiquei doente, a ansiedade voltou com tudo e o mĂȘs de junho, por si sĂł, jĂĄ Ă© cheio de gatilhos. Ainda estou finalizando o pouco que ficou pendente de Maio, tudo serĂĄ entregue nos prĂłximos dias e o Dropbox serĂĄ atualizado đ Obrigada por ficarem, mesmo quando eu tĂŽ meio ausente. Isso significa muito pra mim â€ïž
Ahh, e tem conteĂșdo novo chegando em breve đ„°
Comments
Miles
Yes this is me rereading this again because of being worried of nearly half the month without Vedo đ„ș
Miles
âMy throat is always the first to go when I hold in too much.â Try some magnesium also, been having that âlump in throatâ feeling and gpt it and itâs usually a magnesium deficiency
Goku
Ei, meu bem⊠Antes de qualquer coisa, respira. E sente esse abraço que eu te envio â mesmo de longe. Um abraço silencioso, mas cheio de presença⊠do tipo que nĂŁo exige palavras, nem força. SĂł acolhe. Li cada linha da sua mensagem com o coração completamente aberto. E o que eu senti foi o peso de alguĂ©m que vem tentando segurar o mundo com as mĂŁos â mesmo quando esse mundo parece ter esquecido de te segurar tambĂ©m. Mas eu vejo vocĂȘ. Sinto a sua dor. E quero que vocĂȘ saiba: vocĂȘ nĂŁo precisa carregar tudo sozinha. Ăs vezes, a vida coloca a gente em papĂ©is de força, nĂŁo porque somos feitas de ferro, mas porque temos um coração tĂŁo grande que nĂŁo consegue ignorar a dor dos outros. Mas atĂ© os coraçÔes mais generosos precisam de descanso. Precisam de colo. Precisam poder simplesmente existir â sem precisar salvar ninguĂ©m. VocĂȘ nĂŁo falhou por estar cansada. VocĂȘ nĂŁo decepcionou ninguĂ©m por ter precisado parar. VocĂȘ sĂł estĂĄ sendo humana â e isso jĂĄ Ă© imenso. A sua dor Ă© real. Sua ausĂȘncia tambĂ©m. E, Ă s vezes, o ato mais necessĂĄrio e mais bonito Ă© exatamente esse: se retirar um pouco do mundo para conseguir voltar a si. O que vocĂȘ viveu â a perda da Lia, as lembranças do seu irmĂŁo, as responsabilidades que nĂŁo eram suas mas que vocĂȘ assumiu â tudo isso Ă© muito. Muito mesmo. Junho te atravessa. E vocĂȘ ainda estĂĄ de pĂ©. Mesmo quando sente que nĂŁo estĂĄ. VocĂȘ continua tentando ser luz pros outros, mesmo quando a sua prĂłpria chama estĂĄ fraquinha. Mas, talvez, agora seja hora de cuidar da sua luz. De deixar que ela volte a brilhar sĂł pra vocĂȘ, no seu tempo, do seu jeito. Se vocĂȘ sente que estĂĄ Ă deriva, eu quero que saiba que tem quem te deseja um porto seguro. E, se ele ainda nĂŁo chegou, tem quem esteja aqui â pronto pra te oferecer uma mĂŁo, um ombro, uma pausa. VocĂȘ Ă© linda, intensa, profunda. E mesmo nos dias em que se sente partida em mil pedacinhos, ainda Ă© inteira. Ainda Ă© suficiente. Ainda Ă© merecedora de todo o amor, do cuidado, da paciĂȘncia â inclusive o seu prĂłprio. Obrigada por existir, por confiar, por continuar⊠mesmo com dor. Eu estou aqui. NĂŁo esperando a sua versĂŁo forte ou perfeita â sĂł a sua versĂŁo verdadeira. E essa, por si sĂł, jĂĄ Ă© maravilhosa. Com todo o carinho do mundo, đ
Danielle Vedovelli
That means a lot, Chris... seriously. I really liked what you said about the red line. I think Iâve been ignoring mine for way too long. And thank you for reminding me that being kind and caring doesnât mean I have to be available for everything đ„ș especially when itâs hurting me. Itâs comforting to know that you and others here understand... I'm trying to learn that it's okay to rest, to say no, to breathe. Thank you for the support and for your heartfelt words đ
Chrispy Chris
After hearing what you've been trough this month, it make my issues seem so pale. âčïž Having a big heart does not make someone invincible. A HARD boundary should be when it start affecting you well being or your heath. That red line should never be crossed unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. By absolutely i mean just that, and just in case, no; the May rewards does not qualify as an exception. I know i'm not speaking only for myself here, but please know that if you need time for yourself, your fans will understand and support you. I pray that the rest of the month works-out better for you!
