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A note and a vote;
🕑 Added 2023-08-09 00:46:06 +0000 UTCI'm actually now officially back, expect releases to be at the pace they used to be, especially now that I have a talented assistant (ily kat) helping me out. I'm sorry to those I disappointed with my absence and I will try my best to make it up to you; finish the delayed projects, comms and other responsibilities that I have, etc.
Why I was gone for so long and why I thought I could come back earlier is a whole story that I'm sure most of you would rather not bore yourselves with, but I will mention some below. Sometimes life sucks, you get over it, you move on, and that's what I'm trying to do now.
- -- skip here if you aren't interested in personal life stuff --
I will say though, I think a big reason I flunked a bit was because of my perfectionist nature and wanting to fix a lot of broken models I worked on (meshes I bought and licensed mind you but I won't shit talk or name drop), and that wound up with me completely remaking a lot of assets; remeshing, reuving, making my own zbrush high poly's and baking them over to then texture them on substance. To a consumer, these are likely alien terms, but tldr; 3D modelling programs. It was EXTREMELY time consuming but after making custom stuff I felt actually accomplished because ports just made me feel empty; even paid, licensed, no risk, it just felt shitty because it wasn't my work. So, I sought to improve on these meshes.
Moreover, near the end I was pumping out mods like a machine; high quality mods that didn't clip or break your indexes or whatever like most of the trash you'll find nowadays. I was already burnt out months ago, but after my breaking up with my ex; and despite us still being friends and working together; it somewhat shattered me. I'm not good at being alone, I'm actually very bad at it-- so bad that I couldn't get out of bed to work, for months. So bad that when I was getting my root canals and the lady asked if it hurt I was just like "meh" -- yes, it did, for the record. This is by no means his fault as I'm the one who did the breaking up with, so please keep that in mind. In any case, I digressed; as I said about the broken meshes, redoing them... ohboy, this took a lot of my time. I don't accept a gap in my panties, I don't accept a clip with too small boobs (unless I'm so sleep deprived I can't tell a person from a goat or something,but even then I reprimand myself for my idiocy and lack of foresight to do a full check IN GAME and not just in max with weights set at max 4 before I started. It looked nice, but it was not to be, just one of those dresses that this engine? It will never support them.) My mother being absolutely batshit did not help, and the NSFW stuff that happened to me during my trip to my half brothers funeral is also something that took a big piece of me. But then I remembered who I was, I was the highest grossing modder at my peak, and I will be again in a few months because even now, even with little to no content, over 428 of you still support me. Thank you. I'm very articulate but I can't find the words to express how grateful I am that during the worst parts of my life, 428 people still cared enough to stick around despite the mod drought with Elysium.
- -- you may resume reading, personal life blabber is over --
And so to make this just as simple as possible, especially for my CN/KR friends;
10 MINIMUM and a POSSIBILITY of 15+ mods a month, as before, will be the threshold, beginning this month. Now, what I wonder is what you want to see? I have a lot of thoughts, so bare with me.
Vote on what you prefer, this poll will also be available in my server, linked in the new mini banner below, or by clicking here.
