TheGatewayOfRealities
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Going Wild
🕑 Added 2023-11-18 21:10:24 +0000 UTCDuring my break I managed to get myself into VRChat even deeper than before. By this, I have spent 900+ hours in social VR (Neos and VRC combined), I have tried dozens (and made a few) avatars, met so many interesting people, but nothing made me feel anything so special there. But that has changed very recently… I couldn't even imagine how deep this VR rabbit hole can go…
Sensual Revelations
I met some people who have revealed something truly astonishing for me, even more lifechanging than I previously thought. I was able to internalize what I always hoped VR would be like for me, but shrugged it off as "unrealistic expectations".
To describe the experience in a nutshell: I have felt, for the first time while awake, what it's like to be the "true me". And what happens when that life-long yearning of being a non-human creature just suddenly gets an outlet? It is beyond description, a feeling that I can't put into words, and only a few people can relate to it. It's so much more than just using a 3D avatar model, it's swapping your entire mindset and perception of self - something I didn't think was possible naturally through concentration and meditation. It is transformative. And it's all possible thanks to the right people around you to express and enjoy it with.
For the first time I experienced what it's like to do fun, lewd, 1:1 sessions with other people while being a creature. I'm not attracted to humans at all, and even human voices make it awkward, so doing it in VR like that is my only chance at expressing and enjoying such closeness to other people. It was incredibly difficult to get started - but it was so worth it! For the first time in my 30 years of life I realized I can actually moan? And someone else heard it? It is unthinkable!
Aside from that, I discovered pleasure techniques I couldn't even imagine, picked up a handful of new kinks, got a taste of phantom sense (and saw the examples of how powerful it can get), found a new application for meditation, learned I can switch my brain to the "creature mode" - complete with me making all sorts of Dragon noises, and so much more! It would not be an overstatement to say that I am a different person now thanks to what I experienced, and I'm so much happier now. The only downside is that I want… MORE!
Finding myself again
Thanks to what I experienced, I now realized that I definitely belong to the Wyvern family. Wings somehow make more sense for me than hands, it's incredibly comfortable to have them. And once I have actually used them to fly and glide? Once I had a sensual experience of someone gently stroking my wing membranes for two hours, and me actually feeling it eventually? Yeah, there is no going back!
About six years ago I had dreams of being a wyvern before, quite vivid ones, but I have almost forgotten about them. Trying out the Slash0x's avatar in VRC has brought it all back, memories, feelings, freedom - little by little the Wyvern transformation took me over. I love this avatar so, so much (and I will be buying it once it's released), but I still feel something is missing…
Thus, I decided to update my sona for the first time in 13 years. Over time I grew distant with my old green Hizathri (anthro lizard/raptor), and didn't even think much about that form anymore. I feel like I have changed over that time, and a new form beckons me over, like I'm falling in love again. I get to imagine, to feel my body, my tail and wings again - something I stopped imagining so long ago…
Right now I'm designing my new looks, the pictures presented here are still work in progress. I will be making a custom 3D avatar for myself, however my goal is not only to please myself with this model! I'm preparing it also for my eventual return to YouTube, where I want to appear as my wyvern-self and talk all about kinky Dragotheria lore and share my knowledge, creating furry-specific Blender tutorials. And while I will have to keep it SFW for YouTube, It will be a perfect opportunity to create private videos for Patrons!
Additionally, I think it will motivate me to make and upload more art on FA, which can remind people who follow me that I'm still alive and well.
I shall put to paper what I experience, know and feel
You might wonder, why am I writing about such a personal things here? Because it all inspires me. And such huge inspirations will undoubtedly affect my creative work going forward, and therefore this Patreon as well. I also hope you'd get to know me a bit more after reading this. I'd love to talk about it in detail on my Discord server, and I'd be happy to meet people who are either curious, or have something in common to what I felt.
Also, most importantly, after the falling-out period with the game I worked on for years, which almost broke and creatively drained me out, I had to find a new Source to draw from. To allow it to replenish me and remind me of who I am. I'm happy that I found something that heals me like so. All I want is to continue sharing those feelings with the world again - that's what I'm all about.
Although I realize my efforts haven't been the most successful so far… But what else can I do instead of getting up and continuing to move forward? I'm eager to set it all on the right track, as soon as I can, as best as I can. For all my love of Dragons, I must do it.
…Continued in the next chapter Going Virtual…
Comments
SteelTheWarrior
Finding yourself feels so energizing and uplifting! I'm glad you've been able to experience it!
