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🕑 Added 2022-06-17 22:30:33 +0000 UTC

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Funkybun

thankyou!! I will update this all when I get to it. I gotta remember to change voilà when drawing the page because the font I made does not have that character XD

RedFlames

Oh boy, this is getting racy, isn't it! Looking forward to those finished pages as well c: Aaand to add some bits of proof-reading on top of what people have already brought up: page 17: - top/middle: the "right tobias?" could probably use a comma before or even on both sides of "right"? And for me I find it hard to follow this dialogue, why's she spoecifically addressing tobias? Plus his response doesn't seem to fit either... maybe I'm missing something - end of page: "Oh my, Adam!" (comma) & "its" -> "it's" page 18: - "we loaned the fancy camera" should maybe be "borrowed" or "rented" depending on if it was for money or not? It seems loan isn't super common as a verb and would usually also be used for "loan _to_ someone" instead of "_from_ someone" but idk! - "even had a friend over, huh!" could probably use the comma :3c - "quallity" -> "quality" - "youknow" ...I know you do like doing this on things like "thankyou" because of how spoken dialogue flows(?), but looks odd to me, maybe make it "y'know"? page 20: - "catagory" -> "category" page 21: - "s-shes" -> "s-she's" - "just not from Sophie!" is probably fine but could also be "just not Sophie's!" in this context page 23: - "voila" is not wrong at all but could be "voilà" if you're feeling extra fancy :p