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MwaM; Ch 05: Choo Chooo!
🕑 Added 2025-06-17 13:14:52 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note: Hello there, this is chapter 05 of Merc with a Mouth. I really hope you will like it.
Also, many thanks and congratulations to our Guildmasters: Camo, I am Lord Dems, StormFox, RyanMK666, PenguGoesVroom and Hydrus Black! 😇🥰
Now, without any further ado....Let's begin!
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Merc with a Mouth
-Dev Sagittarius Black
~~Chapter 05: Choo-Chooo!~~
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“What do you mean I have to buy all that stuff again?!” Harry exclaimed, “I have graduated from one school, and I have no interest in graduating from another.”
“Try to understand, Mr. Deadpool. It’s an undercover mission, and you aren’t supposed to tell Susan or any student, for that matter, that you are a mercenary who’s been sent by Director Bones to guard her niece.” Moody explained to both Harry and Atlas as they occupied the corner-most seats of the Leaky Cauldron.
It had taken them almost a month of continuous correspondence through owls to set up the meeting, and for some reason, instead of simply giving Harry the school’s location, Amelia had, quite forcefully, requested a meeting between the veteran auror and the two mercs, which had been decided on the last day of August.
At first, Harry had been quite reluctant to meet anyone, but then Atlas had explained to him that unless his name was popular, such meet-ups were quite common, as the benefactor would always want to check out the person they were hiring. This was done so that the other party could assess the merc’s capabilities on a more personal spectrum.
Harry just felt that it was all a bullshit excuse to waste his time. Although, he’d admit that hearing the old Auror call him ‘Mr. Deadpool’ was a bit funny. Not that he would tell him that.
“I got that part, Spinny,” Harry replied, internally smirking at the nickname his dad gave to Moody. “What I don’t get is the part that says I have to become a fucking student.”
“How else were you planning on going ‘undercover’ in a school mission where you are younger than their graduating students?”
“Not my fault your lot are imbeciles who need to be shepherded till they are twenty. I graduated from a school that is certified by the ICW, and that means I can take up a position on the staff. Maybe an assistant to some professor in DADA or something.”
“Bah! Neither of us likes the new rule of taking admissions from thirteen instead of eleven, boy, but we aren’t rule makers. It’s a rule, and we have to follow it.” Moody had been quite vocal against the increment in age limit, but after the war, the Wizengamot had found it quite rational to make thirteen the admissible age instead of eleven. “As for your idea to become an assistant, I am afraid that’s not possible.”
“Why?”
“Several reasons.”
“Give me one.”
“Assistants have their own workload and aren’t allowed to be near the students unless they’re in the classroom.” Moody replied. “You’re being sent to guard Susan, not lessen McGonagall’s or Flitwick’s load.”
“Alright, give me another.”
“You’ll get too much attention as you’re younger than our graduate students; they won’t listen to you, and some of the rich brats will try to throw around galleons to dig up your past. We don’t want that.”
“Errr…” Harry hesitated a bit; he knew that part was true. “What about a third reason as well?”
“You don’t look nerdy enough to be a teacher or an assistant.” Atlas pointed out and grinned when Harry tried to kick him beneath the table.
“Alright, alright, I’ll play along.” The boy gave up. “Though that makes me wonder as to what will happen if I have to protect Miss Bones by killing someone or if I have to leave some class midway.”
“Your credentials from The Dragon have been submitted to Headmaster Dumbledore, and the staff already knows that you’re not actually a student of Hogwarts.” Alastor answered. “Therefore, things like leaving midway or ‘taking measures’ to protect Susan come under the agreement we have with the headmaster. Though, Bones would want you to look for better alternatives first before going for permanent solutions.”
“What about you?”
“In my opinion, permanent solutions are much better because the idiots don’t come back to bother you.” Moody said before he sighed. “The same cannot be expected from others like Amelia Bones or Albus Dumbledore.”
“What about others on staff? Do you trust them enough to believe that none of them would try to use this information against Miss Bones or your director?” Atlas asked him.
“All I'll say is that Dumbledore has my trust, and he trusts his staff.”
“Fair enough.” Harry shrugged. “If there’s any issue, then who am I to report to?”
“Firstly Director Bones, then Headmaster Dumbledore.” Moody replied before his staff gave a small puff of smoke. “Now, are there any more questions?”
“Ah, yes,” Harry nodded. “You haven’t told me Hogwarts’ location or how far I can apparate from the school.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” The auror shook his head in the negative. “Director is sending someone who’ll help you get your school supplies today. Ensure that you know your teachers and year mates as well as make sure that you have the basic idea of Hogwarts passages so that you don’t spend the first month looking like a lost duckling.”
“Just give me a map of your damn school and tell me where I’ll get the stuff.” Harry glared at the old man. “I don’t want a babysitter.”
“The person will also ensure that you catch the train on time and tell you a few things about Susan so that you are able to identify and befriend her easily.” Moody added. “Make sure to learn all you can tonight, Deadpool, because I, for one, wasn’t happy that Wang shifted this mission to a green boy like you.”
“Who else do you think would bother to babysit a school kid, Spinny? Some old bone like you?” Harry smirked. “Be glad that I was bored enough to take the mission, and remember that you lot don’t own me. You are paying me to do my work; complain if there are any issues in that.”
“An attitude like that gets one killed sooner in my line of work, kid. Remember that.”
“Then isn’t it better that I am not an old staff-up-his-arse Auror?” Harry pointed at the gnarled staff. “That actually makes me wonder if you ever tried that with a woman, but then with a horrible face like yours, you’d probably die a virgin.”
Moody glared at him and was about to speak before the privacy charm he had placed around the table was breached. He looked at the intruder and gave a small grunt before looking back at the two mercs.
“Meet your babysitter, Mr. Deadpool.” Moody pointed at the newcomer. “Auror Nymphadora Tonks.”
⁂
“Was that the last item on the list?”
“It says a pet.” Tonks told him, reading from the parchment that was given to her by Moody. “That’s actually optional, but if you want, I’ll recommend an owl, as they’re good for communication.”
“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart; I already have one.” Harry smiled, “He’ll keep me company through my boring days at the school.”
“Sweetheart? Really?” She shook her head. “I expected more from a guy who’s called Deadpool.”
“Ah, you know him?”
“Are you kidding?” Tonks exclaimed. “I have an entire collection of Deadpool comics. A few figurines too. I don’t know how you got Moody to call you Mr. Deadpool, but that was funny.”
“Damn, I didn’t know I’d find a lady with such a fine taste on this dull as hell day.” He grinned. “Are you a muggleborn?”
“Complicated.” Tonks waved off. “And before you ask, no, I don’t like to talk about that either.”
“So, no calling you Nymphadora, and no talks about your family issues. Got it.” He grinned. “Anything else that I should know of? Like maybe what drink you’d like to have or how many sugars in your tea?”
“Why? Are you asking me out, Mr. Merc-with-a-Mouth?” She grinned as they walked through the alley.
“That name would be more meaningful after a night with me.”
Tonks stopped mid-stride, her bubblegum pink hair turned red as she looked at the young man who was grinning at her, “Watch your mouth, Carter; we’re in public.”
“It’d be better if you were the one watching my mouth.” Harry grinned, enjoying the way her hair kept turning into darker shades of red. “You know I love the fact that you can’t hide your feelings, all thanks to your hair.”
“Tell me about it.” The redhead groaned, “I had to especially concentrate when I was lying to my mom. She’d always notice the change in color and catch me before Dad could suspect.”
“Smart mom.” He grinned.
“Quiet.” Tonks agreed, her hair slowly returning to her preferred bubblegum pink color as the two leisurely walked through the alley.
“I’m still waiting for your reply.”
“Hmmm…” She looked back at him before shaking her head. “Nah, you’re a bit young for me. I prefer my man to be older than me.”
“Haven’t you heard the old saying ‘The younger your man, the more you moan’?”
“Really? I didn’t know there was something like that in the market.” She raised her eyebrows. “How old is this saying?”
“Three seconds.” Harry replied with all his seriousness, “Now, four….five….six….”
Tonks looked at him before the two burst out laughing, holding onto his arm as they weaved through the bustling street.
They passed through Madam Malkin’s, where Harry gave a wink to the cute Asian girl who had measured him up for his new Hogwarts robes. The girl—he forgot her name—had gone red within the first few minutes, after which Harry had made it his duty to keep her face red till he left the shop with hickeys on his neck.
That was fun.
“Want an ice-cream?” He asked the Auror beside her, who shook her head. “Not right now, maybe later.”
“Are we going through that little mob?” Harry commented at the small crowd that had accumulated at the mouth of Gringotts.
“Eh, they’re probably lining up to make a wish at the Fountain of Hope.” Tonks waved it off. “It’s not a big deal. Happens almost every day.”
“The Fountain of Hope?” He asked. “That’s something I haven’t heard before. What does it do?”
Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment before she pulled him towards the crowd. “It’s better if you see it for yourself.”
The two weaved through the crowd as they approached a small fountain that was placed nearby in the alley. Harry frowned when he noticed the golden statue of a small kid at the center of the fountain. The smiling boy who looked close to ten years of age, his eyes framed with round spectacles and his messy mop of hair parted above his right eye to show a lightning bolt scar.
He looked at the plaque beneath the statue and raised his eyebrow at the words etched on it;
‘The Hope of Britain’
‘Boy-Who-Lived’
‘July 31st, 1980 to July 20th, 1989’
“Who’s that?” Harry asked, pointing at the statue as others around them kept on throwing knuts and sickles into the fountain.
For some reason, the statue’s date of birth and scar matched the one he had a few years ago, but then he reasoned that there are many who are born on the same day, and two kids could coincidentally have a similar-looking scar as well. No big deal.
“You don’t know him?!”
Harry looked at her incredulous expression and shook his head. “I’m a muggleborn who graduated from China, remember?”
“Ah, I keep forgetting that because of your accent.” Tonks mumbled before she looked at the statue. “Well, he’s famous for being the only one who survived the Killing Curse and was therefore also titled as the Boy-Who-Lived.”
“Didn’t manage to hold that title for long, did he?” Harry replied only for the metamorph to smack his arm. “What? It’s true. It says he died in 1989.”
“Yeah, Dumbledore and the Minister himself announced the poor kid’s death. They say he was kidnapped and then killed by the dark side as revenge for killing You-Know-Who.”
“A pipsqueak like him managed to kill Volde-ahem—I mean, You-Know-Who?” Harry amended when he saw Tonks glare at him. “I still don’t know why you lot fear that stupid name.”
“That’s because you haven’t seen the type of stuff he did.” She huffed. “Also, he isn’t called the Boy-Who-Lived just because he survived any killing curse. You-know-who went to kill his family when he was one year old. He had almost killed everyone and was about to kill Harry too, but the curse rebounded off the baby and destroyed the Dark Lord instead.”
Harry listened to the story and frowned. It wasn’t the tale that had attracted his attention; no, to him the small story sounded like one of those children's fairy tales where a mythical hero does something to protect the world from evil. His attention was actually caught by something else entirely.
“What did you say this kid’s name was?”
“Who? Harry?” The pinkette blinked at the weird question. “What about it?”
“Yeah. What’s his full name?
“Ah, that,” the metamorph smiled. “Harry Potter.”
It took them some time to finish their shopping and move to the room that had been booked for him at the Leaky Cauldron. The two had spent a major part of the day chatting around, eating ice-creams and snacks, while Harry had badgered her about the ‘mysterious’ Boy-Who-Lived.
Tonks, thankfully, considered his curiosity to be nothing more than just a passerby’s interest in something as astounding as surviving the killing curse, and so, she entertained his doubts with as much explanation as she could give.
Harry came to know that his parents were Lily and James Potter, both magicals who went to Hogwarts and were a few years junior to the metamorph’s parents.
He also learned that the two had married quite early and had successfully defeated the Dark Lord a few times before, for some reason, they went into hiding for almost one year. It was during that time that Voldemort somehow managed to find and then kill them.
After that, no one knew what happened to Harry Potter and where he was being raised. The only news they got regarding the elusive child mage was that he died in 1989 due to some mysterious circumstances, which they concluded were the doing of the dark forces.
“So, what will we do now?” Harry asked her once they reached his room and placed all his books and Hogwarts uniform on the table.
“Well, the original plan was to tell you some details and interests about Susan, then brief you about the current professors, your fake backstory, as well as the students of your current batch.” Tonks replied as she closed the door. “Then I was to report to Madam Bones, and you were to go back to your home to pack the rest of your stuff.”
“If that was the original plan, does that mean something changed in it?” Harry gave a small grin when he noticed the hidden glint in her eyes as she walked towards him and pushed him on the bed before straddling his lap.
“You tell me.” She whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and smashing their lips together as his own hands wrapped around her waist and they fell on the bed.
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The third of the five floos that had recently been installed on platform 9 ¾ flared a vibrant shade of green, and out stepped a strapping young man. He stood there in a classy ensemble of all-black, which included a black crew neck t-shirt, a pair of dark jeans, and shiny black boots. His outfit was completed with a knee-length black trench coat that had a silver dragon on its back and a leather watch on his right hand.
He removed his sunglasses and took a long look at the red and black steam engine that had the words ‘HOGWARTS EXPRESS’ on it. His eyes fell on a large clock that told him it was still one hour before the train would leave the station, and his latest friend had already told him that the director and her niece were yet to leave their manor.
‘Alright, Carter, finally it’s time to start your first mission.’ He thought as he approached the express, ‘Do not disappoint the names Atlas, Wang, and the legendary Deadpool. Go and fuck the living shits out of anyone who’d dare to stand in your way.’
He strolled through the platform with his leather duffle bag in hand, smirking at everyone as a few tried to guess who he was or what he was doing here.
Both Tonks and Atlas had told him to just wear something normal so that he could easily blend in, but then blending in had never worked for him, and he knew that his actions would put him under the spotlight anyway, so why not use the opportunity to make an awesome first impression instead?
Harry stepped inside the train, quickly looking through the coaches in the front so that he could get a good one that had a clear view of the floors as well as the entrance of the platform.
Once he had settled in his seat, he opened his duffle bag, and a fluffy head popped out of it, licking his face as he opened the zipper completely.
“Alright, Ghosty, we’re on the train now.” Harry grinned, “Now just be a good boy and don’t rush off anywhere, alright?”
The canine gave a look as if saying, ‘Do you still have to tell that to me, dumbass? I am always a good boy!’ The merc just laughed and scratched him between his ears.
With that, Harry leaned back in his seat, pulled out the map of Hogwarts provided to him, and started to check the castle for shorter pathways and memorize the commonly used locations.
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At ten minutes to eleven, the floos flared once more, and this time two women and a girl stepped out of it, followed closely by two men. An old man with a gnarled staff who walked with a noticeable limp because of his mechanical leg and a tall bald one with a dark shade of skin.
The blue magical eye of Alastor Moody spun around them, looking through the attendants of the platform for anything that was out of the ordinary or could be considered a threat to the Director or her niece.
Of course, it didn’t matter to him that the existence of the platform itself was out of the ordinary, as were the people who were sending off their totally ‘ordinary’ children to a completely ‘normal’ school where each child had a potentially lethal weapon that could easily take anyone’s life within a second.
His magical eye fell on a young man who was dressed in all black and glanced at them from one of the windows before he surprised the older man with a small wink. The veteran Auror turned to look at his subordinate only to see her hair bright red while she looked away from them. He glanced back at the man in the window and noticed that he had already returned to whatever he was doing.
Moody gave a tired sigh, ignoring whatever bullshit his subordinate and the merc had cooked, and instead gave a small nod to Shacklebolt before he thumped his staff on the ground.
“This looks like a good ‘nuff place, Director.” He said, pointing at the entrance of the compartment. “Susan can easily find her friends while we can return without much delay.”
Amelia nodded and gave them a ‘look’ which caused the three Aurors to walk a few steps away so that they could give the two Bones women some privacy. Moody and Tonks went to the other side while Kingsley placed her trunks inside the train.
“Take care of my little girl, will you?” Amelia asked her niece, who gave a small nod.
“I will, aunty. Your little girl will be as safe as possible, and very soon we’ll meet again.”
“Yes, we will.” The elder Bones nodded. “Don’t forget to write to me every week, and pay attention in your classes. Sprout says that you’re one of her best Puffs, and she’s very proud of how hardworking as well as intelligent you are.”
“It’s nothing.” Susan blushed at the praise. “I’m just doing normal in school; Professor Sprout has a habit of praising me without any reason.”
“Oh, I’m quite sure none of her words are without a reason, Susie, and I am very proud of you as well.” She smiled, patting her head.
“Although this year, pay special attention to your safety and who you correspond with. With the return of You-Know-Who and the current political shitstorm that’s brewing in the Ministry, I am quite sure that there would be a few families who’d try to approach you with possible benefits or threats. What do we do when that happens?”
“Subdue them with force, and write to aunty.” Susan involuntarily said the code that had been ingrained in her mind since the start of her first year.
“Exactly.” Amelia nodded. “Also, this year I want you to increase your friend circle and make sure that your friends have good interests.”
“But earlier you said—”
“I told you to pay attention to who you correspond with; that doesn’t mean I want you to isolate yourself from everybody.” Amelia smiled. “There are a few who'll need your help this year, and a few who’ll try to put up a fight just to get you in trouble. Stand with those who need your help, stay with those who’ll stay with you when things get tough, and abandon those who’ll attempt to use you or abandon you on a whim.”
The two looked into each other’s eyes, wizened browns meeting with innocent grey orbs, before the younger lady gave a resolute nod and hugged her aunt affectionately.
“Take care of yourself as well, aunty.” Susan mumbled while hugging, “You might not be my birth mother, but you have been and always will be more than anyone else in my life, and I don’t want to lose you.”
Amelia couldn’t help the tear as it rolled down her cheek; she leaned down and gave her niece a small kiss on her head before patting her back as the Express gave the first whistle of departure.
“Tonks!” Susan called for the metamorph who joined them.
“Wotcher, Susan.” The metamorph grinned, ruffling her hair. “Am I being called for a hug as well?”
The two girls giggled before Susan wrapped the pinkette in a bone-crushing hug and whispered, “Thank you for staying with me throughout the month.” She tightened her arms. “I’ll see you soon.”
Tonks smiled at her, rubbing her back before she was released. “Don’t worry, Susan, you won’t miss me that much.” She grinned. “For some reason, I'm damn sure that you’ll get a boyfriend soon.”
“Ugh….not that again.”
“Wanna bet?”
“No, thanks.” Susan rolled her eyes in amusement and started walking towards the train.
“Enjoy your year, Suzie.” Amelia waved as the apple of her eye went inside the express, and the doors magically closed after her. She knew that she’d miss the bubbly girl every moment from now till they’d reunite during Christmas.
The Director closed her eyes and gave a silent prayer to whichever God was listening to protect her niece from all the harm and danger before turning towards the floos along with her auror guards.
Just before the entourage vanished, Moody once more looked at the young man, and they shared a small nod before the express began its journey towards the magical castle, and the group vanished through the green flames.
Harry watched them vanish and looked back at the small picture given to him by Tonks just before he had taken the floo from the Leaky Cauldron. The picture showed a busty young girl with long auburn hair and the most innocent grey eyes he had ever seen. She was smiling and cheerfully waving at the camera person, who, he suspected, was his bubbly auror escort from yesterday.
His attention was pulled by a gentle knock on his door, and he looked just in time for it to be pulled open by a redhead who peered inside the cabin. There was another girl, a blonde, who stood behind the redhead.
It was only a moment before the blonde gave a small gasp of surprise and bounded inside the coach, “DOGGY!” She squealed, quickly kneeling in front of his Border Collie. Her hand was already scratching the hound’s head as she focused her big blue eyes on him and asked, “Can we please sit here? I promise to tell you all about magical creatures who would try to hound your hound.”
“Magical creatures who'd try to hound my hound?” Harry asked her, amused at the way she had worded it.
“Yes, there are many, and you’ll need to protect your good boy from all of them.” She nodded while her redhead friend pulled their trunks inside the coach.
“Any examples?”
“Oh yes!” She smiled as the dog gave a soft purr. “Have you heard about Nargles?”
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Ending Note: There we go! Harry is on train, and guess who he just met? Time for Hogwarts!!
Yeah, Harry's dress is inspired from Neo (Matrix). 😂
Liked it? Loved it? Needs some changes? Please, do tell.
I am waiting for all your comments. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Thank you for reading and your comments,
With regards,
Dev Black
Comments
Dev Sagittarius Black
Sort of. To be honest, I haven't decided much on that part. So, I could take it either way. It could be a skin mask that falls off later or that his Horcrux has been removed.
I am lord dems
And Harry has met Luna yay. Is Harry wearing a skin mask cause I highly doubt after all his questioning and the night they had tonks wouldn't have commented about his scar that is strangely like the boy-who-lived legendary scar
