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MwaM; Ch 06: The Girl-Next-Toilet
🕑 Added 2025-06-22 12:42:58 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note: Hello there, this is chapter 06 of Merc with a Mouth. I really hope you will like it.
Also, many thanks and congratulations to our Guildmasters: Camo, I am Lord Dems, StormFox, RyanMK666, PenguGoesVroom, Hydrus Black and Darth Josh! 😇🥰
Now, without any further ado....Let's begin!
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Merc with a Mouth
-Dev Sagittarius Black
~~Chapter 06: The Girl-Next-Toilet~~
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Harry laughed hard at another one of the pretty redhead’s stories, where she and her twin brothers had stuffed her youngest brother, Ron, in a sack full of smelly socks, dumped him in a pond near their home, and mixed ketchup in their other brother’s birthday cake.
The girl had been sad that her twin brothers wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts, and he could clearly see why. The duo had graduated last year and had apparently collected enough funds to start a good enough delivery service which they operated from their home, and had plans to open a joke shop in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade.
Now he was thinking of ordering a few of their stuff, especially the Peruvian darkness powder and extendable ears. They seemed to be quite useful in his line of work.
It had been almost an hour since they had left King’s Cross, and the Hogwarts Express was now speeding through the vast fields of countryside England as Harry relaxed in his coach with the two beautiful girls who had quickly placed their trunks on the overhead rack and taken the opposite seat.
The redhead, Ginevra or Ginny Weasley, had taken the window seat right in front of Harry, while her blonde friend, Luna Lovegood, sat beside her, cuddling with his canine companion, 'Mark’, who was sleeping peacefully as she scratched behind his ears.
Yep, Mark, as he didn’t want to tell anyone his dog’s real name.
“You know, I think you’re the first person named Harry who’ll be enrolled in Hogwarts in recent years.” Ginny asked him, “The only other one that had that name…”
“It’s a pretty common name, to be honest, but I get what you mean.” Harry nodded. “Name is quite similar to that of the boy wonder, but I assure you if it was me who survived the killing curse, I’d rather shout it through Diagon Alley than go into hiding.”
“He was one-year-old when he did that.”
“That makes me wonder, how is anyone sure that it was actually him who did it in the first place? What if someone else fought Voldemort, killed him, and was forced to run away because of some injury or because they went to get help, but by the time they returned, Potter was declared a miracle kid and had already been sent into hiding.”
“But that’s not what happened.” The redhead objected. “The killing curse bounced off of Harry and—”
“Were you there when it happened?”
Almost instantly Ginny closed her mouth and frowned. She wasn’t even born at that time; therefore, it was true that she wasn’t actually there when it happened, but this was a tale that everyone knew. Her brothers said so. Her parents said so. Hell, the Minister for Magic and even Headmaster Dumbledore said so.
Why would everyone lie?
“If multiple people say the same lie for a long time, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes the truth.” Luna smiled at her. “It’s not our fault for believing in a lie, but we should always be open to newer theories.”
“I guess.” Ginny sighed. It still felt a bit weird to even consider that Harry Potter was actually a lie and that everyone around her had been stupid to never even think that something like that was also possible.
“Well, change of topics.” Luna clapped her hands. “So, tell me more about yourself, Harry. Where were you studying all this time, and why did you decide to join Hogwarts all of a sudden?”
“I was in a small magical school called the Silvergrove Academy.” Harry began retelling the fake information that was supposed to be his past. “It's in Wales and is actually one of the few small schools that are spread across the United Kingdom.”
“Why didn’t you come to Hogwarts from the start?”
“For some reason I didn’t receive the acceptance letter when I was thirteen; I guess they had run out of charity. Who knows?” Harry shrugged. “It’s actually because of reasons like that that these smaller schools came into being. They run through charities and small trusts, and the teachers are basically a small group of Hogwarts graduates who teach one or two subjects to a small group of muggleborns or half-bloods.”
“That makes sense.” Luna nodded. “Daddy always says that there are many ways to learn magic and that we should just look around to see the one that suits our tastes more.”
“Wise man.”
“He is.” Lovegood nodded. “He also thinks that the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks are in Sweden; he hasn’t been right about that yet.”
Harry blinked in response before he looked towards the redhead, who shrugged. Throughout their one hour together, Harry learned that the blonde had a fascination with magical beasts, especially the ones that she could imagine.
To him, it sounded more like a coping mechanism, but he wasn’t going to comment on something that he just saw or didn’t understand.
Ginny used the opportunity to steer the conversation back to the same topic to remove the awkwardness that had descended in the coach, “So why join here?”
Harry was about to reply before he blinked. In the haste of memorizing Hogwarts maps and having a merry chat with the two girls, he had forgotten the actual reason for his journey to the magical school.
No matter how gorgeous they were, instead of chatting with them, he should be more focused on his mission, which meant that he should actually be looking for Susan Bones and her friend Hannah Abbott.
“Harry?”
“Ah, yes. Sorry about that.” He gave a sheepish grin. “What were you asking?”
“I asked you the reason for choosing Hogwarts for your sixth year.” Ginny replied.
“Hmm…let’s see…” Harry made a faux thinking pose before he stood up and stretched his arms. “I’ll tell you if you give me a kiss when I return.”
“Wh-What?” Ginny blushed. “What do you mean when you ‘return’? Where are you going?”
“Just to get some air. It’s my first time on a magical train; I don’t want to miss the experience, you know?” He grinned and leaned closer to her. “So, do we have a deal?”
The youngest Weasley blushed hard before she pushed his face away. “Shoo-Shoo!”
Harry just laughed at her before he left them alone and went in search of the elusive Susan Bones.
It took Ginny a few seconds before she managed to control her thoughts. It wasn’t her fault that Harry Carter was tall, fair, and fucking handsome with the most expressively beautiful set of emerald eyes that stared deep in her soul.
His dark clothes fit him well, and the t-shirt that was stretched over his chest told her about the bulging muscles that it was hiding. She was also kind of thrilled at the way his eyes seemed to take her in completely before focusing on her face rather than her tits like the boys in her year.
“So, have you decided?” Luna asked from beside her.
“Decided what?”
“Whether you’ll kiss him or not.” The blonde replied.
“Luna!”
“If you won’t, then I will.” She said it as if she were commenting about the weather.
“What?” Ginny looked at her best friend. “Just like that?”
“I guess I really want to know why he chose Hogwarts.”
“Ugh…” Ginny shook her head before she leaned back in her seat, watching the fields of countryside England pass through the window and trying her best to keep her thoughts away from a certain green-eyed handsome.
For some reason, she didn’t mind that she was failing miserably in doing so.
⁂
Harry groaned when he saw the door of the train driver at the end of the compartment. This had been his second round, and throughout the way he had yet to see the auburn-haired girl who he had been tasked to protect.
How was he going to protect someone if they didn’t even want to be found?
He was quite sure that the Bones heiress was either using an invisibility charm or a powerful notice-me-not ward to keep her coach invisible to the normal eye.
Tonks had told him that little Bones was good enough with a wand and had always been instructed by Amelia to keep all the idiots at bay. That included the ones who’d want to befriend her just because she’s the niece of one of the most powerful women in wizarding Britain.
“Fucking hell.” Harry groaned. “Will I have to wait till we reach that damn castle?”
The only other way was for him to sense strong magic that would reveal the location of the coach containing the Bones heiress, but there was a small issue with that. If he ‘accidentally’ found her coach and approached her, then it'd seem as if he was stalking her for some reason, and that’ll just alienate her more than make her approachable.
The merc was about to leave when he saw the washrooms and decided to relieve himself. It wasn’t a written rule, but he had taken up Atlas’ habit of keeping his bladder empty as much as possible. You never know when you’d be in a life-and-death situation, and all you could think of was about a damn washroom.
‘It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.’ He thought and was about to open the cubicle nearest to him when he heard some sniffles from the adjacent one. He was about to knock on the door only to find that it was already open, and the scene inside it surprised him.
“If I knew Hogwarts had such a policy, I’d have joined it way sooner.” He grinned at the girl who stood in the corner of the cubicle.
“I don’t know who you are, but fuck off.” She glared at him.
“Such venom for a girl who’s standing in the men’s washroom?” Harry grinned at her pretty little glare before looking to the side. “As much as I want to think, I’m assuming this isn’t a kink of yours?”
“Just fucking leave.” She growled and tried to slam the door in his face only to fail as Harry pushed right back at her. It was quite clear to both of them as to who’d win in a contest of pure physical strength. “What the hell do you want?”
Harry’s much larger frame pushed the door, and he walked inside the cubicle before using a sealing charm on the door so that nothing but his own magic would be able to open it. He looked towards the girl, and for the first time he could see that instead of the glare she had been throwing, this time she looked at him in fear.
“Now, I’d like to know exactly what you were doing here.” He closed the toilet seat and sat on it.
“Why do you even care? In fact, who even are you? This is the first time I’m seeing a dickhead like you.” She whispered furiously, “If this is some prank, then let me tell you this is a very bad time, and you’ll be in quite a mess if you don’t leave.” She flicked her wrist and pointed her wand in his face.
“Ooh! That was cool.” Harry grinned, “I should try doing that as well.”
“Don’t even think of pulling your wand out.”
“Considering that this is a men’s washroom, my wand is supposed to be out, you know.”
“Wh-What?” She stuttered, and it was all Harry needed to hold the tip of her wand before jerking it out of her grasp.
“Ding ding!” He grinned. “Guess who just lost her wand? Here’s a hint: Cubicle Girl!”
“GIVE ME MY WAND!” The girl tried to snatch it, but Harry shoved her away and placed the wand in one of the many pockets of his trench coat.
“Now, now, let’s not get hasty.” He smirked even as she glared at him. “Tell me what you were doing here, and I promise to give your wand back.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Well, yeah, but now I am curious.” He shrugged. “It’s not every day you see a cute girl standing in the corner of a men’s cubicle, or is it some Hogwarts ritual? Can I sign up for it somewhere?”
“Who are you?”
“Ah! Now that’s better. Both of us have a question each, and we want answers.” He smirked at the blonde. “But it’s first come, first served, you know.”
“There’s no such thing.” She clenched her fists. “And you know what? I don’t even want to know who you are. Just give me my wand and then fuck off.”
“Tsk-Tsk, such foul language.” He shook his head before he stood up, his large frame towering above her petite self. “Now, we wouldn’t want your mom to know that, right, Greengrass?”
The minuscule widening of her eyes was all the hint he needed to know that his arrow had hit the bull’s-eye.
Before she could’ve said anything, someone knocked on the door, and Harry saw the fear that settled in her baby blue eyes as she first looked at the door and then at him. Everything was quiet for a few seconds before the person knocked again.
“Is someone in there?” A male voice asked, and Harry noticed how the girl’s eyes started to frantically dart around the cubicle. “Greengrass, if it’s you, then you know who I am. Open the door, and let me in.”
The merc looked down at the girl in question, and all it took him was a few seconds before he realized what exactly had been going on and why the heiress of the Greengrass family was standing in the men’s cubicle.
“Greengrass, if you’re inside, then this is the last time I’m asking.” The boy slammed his fist against the door. “You know what will happen after this.”
The girl opened her mouth to answer, only for Harry to silence her with his hand over her mouth. “What the hell do you want, man? Can’t a guy get to shit in peace? First that damn girl, and now a fucking cunt.”
There was silence from the other side, and the girl looked up at him with saucer-wide eyes. Harry just made a ‘silence’ gesture with his other hand before continuing, “Now scamper off if you don’t want me to come out and flush you down with the rest of my shit.”
“Whoever you are, you don’t even know who you are talking to.” The voice replied. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“Why? Don’t you know who you are?” Harry grinned through the door. “Wait. Are you the guy I sent to bring me some toilet paper? Throw them from above—”
“A mudblood, are you?” The voice interrupted, and Harry could somehow imagine a sneer on the guy’s face. “Filth like you should enjoy your last days at Hogwarts. Pretty soon you and your parents will be nothing more than graves.”
“Jokes on you, Knocker, my folks are already dead.” Harry grinned. “And I don’t plan on joining them anytime soon.”
“Oh, but you will. Just you wait, mudblood. With the Dark Lord’s return, this year we are going to make filth like you realize exactly why we purebloods are far better than dirt like you.”
“Does that mean before his return you had to accept that muggleborns are better than cousin fuckers like you? Oh wait! Was poor Knocker traumatized to call his aunt as his mummy?”
The door was slammed again, this time with far more force. “I’d have loved to teach you an early lesson, but another whore needs to know why she should’ve listened to me.”
“C'mon, don’t call your mom that. It’s not her fault that your dad couldn’t do his job well on the wedding night.” Harry grinned.
“My father did his job quite well—”
“How would you know? Were you there when he was fucking her?” Harry openly laughed at him. “What if he isn’t even your daddy?”
“That’s it!” The boy screamed, slamming the door once more. “You asked for it! Alohomora!”
Greengrass closed her eyes, trying to shrink in the corner as she expected the guy to yank off the door. The girl was already shivering, hoping that she’ll be spared and that he'll accept her story. It was for this reason that she was surprised when, even after five seconds, the door hadn’t been yanked open by their assailant.
“What happened, Knocker?” Harry called out from inside. “Pureblood genes not strong enough to even unlock a simple door? Shame.”
“Alohomora!”
Again, the same result.
“Alohomiora!” He used a more powerful variation of the charm and yet the result was the same as before.
Harry couldn’t help anymore and began to laugh at the dumb kid, infuriating him even more. Unfortunately, before either of the boys could do something, another voice piped in.
“What’s with all this commotion?” The new voice asked. “Malfoy? Why do you have your wand out in the corridor?”
Their assailant, Malfoy, was silent for some time before Harry heard the footsteps that slowly diminished. They heard voices from afar, and he assumed that Malfoy had gone to talk with the new guy before there was complete silence.
“Aagh..what the—” Harry jerked his hand away from her mouth; he looked at the palm and saw teeth marks. “Is this some weird way of saying thank you?”
“This is my way of saying you should’ve left when you had been told to do so.” She glared back at him. “Now you have put both of us in trouble, and I don’t give two knuts about you, but I don’t want Malfoy or his ilk to target me and my sister.”
“You’re worried about a guy who couldn’t even unlock a door on his own?” Harry frowned. “That guy is—”
“The son of Lucius Malfoy, who is currently one of the most powerful men in Britain, especially since the return of You-Know-Who.” Greengrass cut him off. “Now, if you’d just give my wand back to me, I have to save what you so thoroughly ruined.”
“As far as I know, I saved you from losing your virginity to a dumb cunt like him.” He shrugged. “And I don’t care about who his father is. I’ve dealt with people far worse than pompous brats with daddy issues.”
“I don’t even know who you are.” Her eyes fell on his clothes once more. “And since you clearly don’t know the name Malfoy, I can safely assume that you’re a muggleborn, but you’re too big to be in first year.”
“You can call me your savior for now,” Harry grinned at her.
“Savior, my shiny little tushy. You know what? I don’t even want to know about you. Just stay away from me, and do NOT save me next time.” She glared at him. “Now, give my wand back. I need to find Malfoy before he learns that I was here the whole time.”
“You wound me, princess.” Harry fell on his knees and pulled her wand out of his trench coat. “Your words have pierced my heart worse than a blade.”
“I wish I had a blade instead.” She took her wand and opened the door of the cubicle before she looked back at him. “It goes without saying that you never saw me here.”
“I’ll definitely not greet you if we ever meet in Hogwarts.”
The girl just shook her head before she quickly cast a disillusionment charm on herself and vanished into the train’s corridor. Harry looked at her disappearing self and closed the door once more to finally relieve himself.
He had seen a fair number of bullies in his time at The Dragon, and this Malfoy kid seemed to be something like that, which meant that if it weren’t for him, then the eldest Greengrass would’ve been used like a whore and thrown away without concern.
It was quite clear that this was the girl’s attempt at protecting herself and her younger sister, Astoria, who was two years younger than them. He was also quite sure that Astoria didn’t even know about her sister’s deal with Malfoy, and it was also possible that the dumbass was trying to get into her panties as well.
Harry shook his head before he flushed and cleaned his hands. The mage pushed them in his jeans pockets and exited the cubicle. There was no need to think too much into stuff like this, and he was quite sure that throughout his time at Hogwarts, there was going to be some point where he came across Knocker once more.
He'd wait for that moment….or just create one if he was bored enough.
⁂
The merc started whistling a familiar tune as he walked back towards his coach. There was no need to dawdle around anyway. Susan’s coach was still hidden, and he had enough excitement for a few hours.
‘Well, if only Hogwarts actually provided hot girls in toilets….’ Harry grinned at the thought, ‘Maybe I should propose this idea to Dumbledore; this would certainly boost the number of kids attending the old castle.’
By the time he returned, Harry was surprised to see that only the youngest Weasley remained in the coach. Shelooked up from her Quidditch magazine before dropping it as Harry retook his seat.
“So, how was your first experience on a magical train?”
“Guess I had hoped for more.” Harry sighed. “What did you do?”
“Waited for you to return.” She smiled and went towards the door before locking it and pulling the curtains. “I gave it some thought, and I guess I really want to know why you chose Hogwarts in the first place.”
Harry raised his eyebrow. “Is that why Luna had to leave?”
“Probably.” Ginny sauntered towards him. “I told her that I had a few more questions.”
“Do I get the same reward each time I answer them?” The mage leaned back in his seat as the redhead straddled his lap.
“Depends on how well you answer them.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, wiggling a bit as she got comfortable in his lap. “Tell me, Harry, what is your name?”
Harry looked into her sparkling blue eyes, his hands crawling up her thighs before they settled on her hips. He gave her round cheeks a soft squeeze and leaned down to capture her lips with his own.
They still had a few hours before they reached Hogwarts, and our friendly neighbourhood merc had a lot of answers for the youngest Weasley.
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Ending Note: There we go!
Regarding Daphne, keep calm. I have plans for her.
Liked it? Loved it? Needs some changes? Please, do tell.
I am waiting for all your comments. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Thank you for reading and your comments,
With regards,
Dev Black
Comments
Dev Sagittarius Black
You know now😂
DarkLightning34
Interested to see which house Harry's gonna be sorted into, I'm assuming Hufflepuff so he's in close proximity to Susan, but you never know
Dev Sagittarius Black
Let's goooo!!
I am lord dems
Death to Malfoys
