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MwaM; Ch 07: No more Uniforms!
🕑 Added 2025-06-27 11:55:27 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note: Hello there, this is chapter 07 of Merc with a Mouth. I really hope you will like it.
Also, many thanks and congratulations to our Guildmasters: Camo, I am Lord Dems, StormFox, RyanMK666, PenguGoesVroom, Hydrus Black and Darth Josh! 😇🥰
Now, without any further ado....Let's begin!
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Merc with a Mouth
-Dev Sagittarius Black
~~Chapter 07: No more Uniforms!~~
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Inside the headmaster’s office, Albus Dumbledore once again rechecked the details of the newest student provided to him by Amelia Bones. He wasn’t surprised that the boy had graduated at the age of eighteen.
After all, if not for the newest regulations that made Thirteen the admissible age at Hogwarts, their sixth-year students would have graduated too.
He was actually more shocked with the second parchment, which showed him the boy’s kill count throughout his nine years at the Dragon Academy.
The Lóng zhī pínghéng Yìshù yū mófâ, or as it was better known, the Dragon School of Balanced Arts and Magic, was a Chinese school that gave you specific training in something you wanted to be since the age of eleven.
They were also the only school in the wizarding world that trained its students in both muggle and magical arts of death.
Students who chose to become assassins, soldiers or mercenaries were pushed through certain courses that trained their bodies and minds to the extremes, and they were also given tasks to eliminate certain individuals throughout their school time, with the final selection being twenty-one kills by the time the student is graduating.
Harry Carter had eighty.
And now the young man—for Dumbledore just couldn’t consider a guy like him as a mere boy—was coming to Hogwarts as an undercover guard for Susan Bones. He wasn’t worried for the young man, no. He was quite sure that a guy like Carter had been trained to survive through anything short of death.
He was actually worried for his students as well as a few of his staff members. Even though they had been briefed about the strange situation, including the fact that Carter wasn’t their student and not to be interacted with unless necessary, he was quite sure that someone in his staff would still attempt to subdue the boy into submission.
For some reason, Dumbledore already knew the result of those interactions, and he most certainly didn’t like them.
The floo suddenly flared to life, and his old friend came through the green flames.
“Albus.” Moody grunted as he took one of the chairs. “Carter is on his way to Hogwarts. I had to delay the visit because Bones took us to the platform and then needed a briefing on Carter as well as his father.”
“His father?”
“He’s the one I met that day in Diagon when Fudge was inaugurating that ruddy fountain.” Moody placed his staff to the side.
“Can you tell me about him?”
Moody shook his head. “I am not supposed to divulge any extra information regarding Deadpool to anyone.”
“I am sure you can make an exception this time.” Albus smiled. “Just to sate an old man’s curiosity.”
“Obviously.” Moody grunted. “Well, his name’s Atlas. Tall, redhead, green eyes, and has a few scars on his face which, I presume, he got from his own skirmishes.”
“Is he a mercenary as well?”
Moody gave a nod before adding, “Though, Wang told me that Atlas has a knack for using masks in public, especially when he’s with Carter or his friends. Something about a particular incident almost two decades ago where he and his family had been targeted because they had seen him. So, I am sure that the guy’s not actually a redhead.”
“Your eye couldn’t unmask the differences?”
“Works only on illusions cast by magic, and Atlas is most certainly a muggle.”
“What about Harry’s mother?”
“None. There’s no mention of the lady’s name, and neither of the Carters ever spoke about her.” Moody shrugged. “I presumed that they either loved her very much and didn’t want to talk about it, or she wasn’t quite liked and the two separated.”
“The former seems far more reasonable and possible.” The headmaster nodded. “Death of a loved one has ways of changing us.”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter either.”
“Is that so?”
“To me, Atlas seemed nothing like a grown man but actually a free guy who likes to live by his own rules; he also has a tendency to sleep around with multiple women and has a talent with words that could easily annoy both his friends and his enemies.” Moody sighed. “Unfortunately, Deadpool is known to have taken all of Atlas’ attributes, including his filthy tongue.”
“That is concerning.” The aged man sighed as he leaned back in his chair, “I am worried that the current environment of Hogwarts might cause Mr Carter to take some….less than savoury measures. Measures that would certainly make the situations messier than resolve them.”
“Bah! I’m not worried for the boy.” Moody shook his head. “The boy is rude, but he certainly knows what he’s doing. Tonks has briefed him regarding the school’s degraded situation, including the unofficial hierarchical setup that the kids are playing with. You know what he did? The boy just laughed her off. If anything, I am actually quite eager to see the results of his stay at Hogwarts.”
“That’s because you don’t have to deal with the mess afterwards.”
“You had the chance to retire, old friend; it’s your fault for sticking to that damn chair for so long.” The veteran grinned. “Though, I can assure you that Deadpool will not mess with someone for at least a week.”
“How can you be so assured of that?”
“It’s a common rule. The soldier takes at least a week to settle down and get familiar with how things work.” Moody shrugged. “Since the boy is a rookie, I’ll say that he might take a month even to get acquainted with the Hogwarts student body as well as the ins and outs of those in-house hierarchies.”
“I certainly hope that it doesn't come to that, but even to me it sounds far too hopeful.”
A small knock interrupted them, and Dumbledore turned towards the door, “Come in, Severus.”
The new DADA professor entered the office and gave a respectful nod to the older men before he took the other chair.
“You called for me, Headmaster?”
“Indeed.” Dumbledore nodded. “We needed to have a talk with you regarding our newest sixth-year student.”
⁂
“So this…guy has a dog with him?”
“Yup.”
“And the dog’s name is Mark?”
“Yup.”
“And he says that he has special permissions to bring a dog to Hogwarts instead of a regular pet like cats or owls.”
“Yup.”
“And he’s a muggleborn who’s joining the sixth-year batch.”
“Yup.”
“Is he hot?”
“Lisa!” Hermione frowned. “We have much more important things to learn about the new addition than how he looks. It’s the first time a student is going to join Hogwarts in the sixth-year instead of the first.”
“Oh, come on, Hermione, you know we’ll learn all about him in a few hours.” Sophie leaned back in her seat. “I’m sure Dumbledore would make an announcement at the feast, and McGonagall might even ask you or Neville to give him a tour, right, Neville?”
The Longbottom heir just gave a nonchalant shrug before he went back to reading the latest book that had been gifted to him by Luna on his birthday. It was a novel called ‘Lord of the Rings’ by the author J.R.R. Tolkien.
The writing was fantastic, in his opinion, and the man certainly knew how to capture the interest of a reader, pulling them into the comfort of Middle-earth that gave the reader a reprieve from the real one.
Nevile suspected that Tolkien was either a muggleborn or knew a magic user who told him about various magical creatures that paved the path for the book. He could certainly see the appeal of dragons, dwarves and talking trees, flashy magic and beautiful elves to muggles.
Unfortunately, the dwarves had closed themselves in the northern mountains, swearing to never make a deal with the humans after the construction of the magical platform, and the elves that Tolkien talked about were classified as High Elves who had left the planet long before the first human civilisations came to be. All they had left behind were elven runes, artefacts and a wide variety of magical plants that were still used in various potions and rituals.
“That's the thing, Sophie.” Hermione frowned. “Neither Professor Dumbledore nor McGonagall told us about Harry Carter. It’s the first time we are hearing about him and that he’ll be joining us.”
“Maybe they forgot.” Sue Li commented, “It happens, y’know. They are teachers, busy people.”
“Maybe.” Hermione nodded.
There was a moment of silence before Sue Li looked at Lisa Turpin and nodded, “Harry’s hot.”
“When did you see him?”
“I was working part-time at Madam Malkin’s when he came to get new uniforms for Hogwarts.” Sue told them. “It was the first time that I had seen him, so I’m assuming this is the same person.”
“You never asked his name?”
“Neither of us did; we were both rather busy.” A tint of rose fell on her cheeks as she looked out of the window.
“Busy, eh?” Sophie grinned as Li blushed even harder. “Details later.”
Hermione shook her head before she turned back to Luna. “Anything else that you can tell about him? Where did he study till now? How did he get admission into the sixth year? Was there some test?”
Luna just shook her head, “You know, you can ask these questions yourself.” She told the Gryffindor girl. “Harry did say that he would answer questions for kisses.”
Hermione sputtered, and the rest of them blinked in surprise. Even Neville, who had been busy reading his new favourite book, had left it in favour of watching his eccentric friend, who was playing with the piebald Border Collie.
“....and how do you know that, Luna?” Neville asked her.
“He told us.” Luna casually said.
“Us?”
“I was with Ginny when we met him, and she was asking him questions, so he told us that and then left to take a stroll across the train corridor.” Luna commented and went back to scratching the dog between his ears.
There was a small silence in which others digested the fact that the guy said something like that before they tried their best to kick it off as a joke instead. They were quite sure that he only said it because both Ginny and Luna had pestered him too much, and he didn’t want to be rude to them.
Cute, right? Wrong.
Yet the coach returned to normal as Neville went back to his book while Sue, Sophie and Lisa started to talk about the latest fashion trend and Luna relaxed in her seat with her new companion. The only one left was Hermione, who was still a bit curious about the new kid who had joined them.
Her mind had always been a seeker, and she had used it to be the best student in her class. She enjoyed solving a good mystery, and her intellect wasn’t just for her school subjects. The appearance of a new kid right after Voldemort made his first appearance was quite suspicious.
Not to mention that this was the first time in recent years that someone was going to join Hogwarts like that.
Yes, it was the first time in recent years because, according to Hogwarts: A History, the last time something like this had happened was when a muggleborn boy named Will Turner had been admitted into the third-year batch of Hogwarts in the year 1729.
“Leave it, Mione.” Neville called from her side. “We’ll soon get to know him anyway, and if he’s a muggleborn then it’s quite possible that he’ll join our group anyway.”
Hermione released a deep breath, crushing her desire to search the train for the new guy and badger him with her questions. She knew that it would most probably scare him, and that meant that she’d just have to be patient till she met him in the castle.
⁂
Soon enough they arrived at Hogsmeade station, and Harry got off the train with Luna and Ginny on either side of him. The Lovegood heiress had joined them an hour before the train came to a halt and had found both Harry and Ginny laughing together.
Ginny was still unsure about Harry’s decision to not have intercourse until she was eighteen. It didn’t matter to him that she was just a few months away from her birthday. There was also the fact that they were in a train, and no one should have their first time in a train of all places. Still, the redhead knew that if Harry hadn’t stopped, she’d have gladly gone with the flow.
One of the major reasons as to why Ginny wanted it came from the glaringly obvious fact that she had four older brothers who protected her as if she was a flower that’d wilt if a boy as much as glanced her way.
She had secretly been a bit glad that the twins would no longer be at Hogwarts, as the threat of being pranked to death used to deter all the boys from approaching her. It was actually a surprise that they weren’t the worst of her brothers.
That was because the worst one was still in Hogwarts, and he’d be there till she was in her seventh year.
Therefore, Ginny knew that once they had reached the castle, Ron would definitely threaten Harry, and then, just like all others before him, Harry would stop looking in her direction.
Sometimes she just hated her brothers. Ugh.
Harry’s tall frame and his unique attire quickly started to garner the attention of the crowd. The trio could actually hear the whispers, and Harry saw more than a few of them point at him while whispering with their friends.
They were obviously wondering who the new sexy guy was that seemed to be more awesome than the rest of their dull selves combined.
The trio reached the horseless carriages, and Harry stopped in front of the skeletal creature that was tied to it. He raised his hand and gently touched the bony ridges and the velvety skin of the beast.
“You can see them too?”
Harry nodded. “Horrible to look at, and yet so very gentle beasts.” He smiled when the thestral nuzzled his hand. “Maybe it’s better that they are invisible to everyone else.”
“What are you two talking about?” Ginny asked them. “There’s nothing.”
“Not to someone who can see.” Luna smiled and gently raised her hand to touch the Thestral’s neck.
“The carriages are pulled by themselves, right?” She asked the girl who shook her head. “But they are called horseless carriages.”
“Horse-less, yes.” Harry nodded and took Ginny’s hand. “But Thestrals aren’t horses.”
Ginny let him guide her hand and yelped the moment she touched the leathery skin of the Thestral. ”What was that?”
“A Thestral.” Luna smiled at her. “Hogwarts boasts one of the largest thestral hordes in Europe. They have always been used to pull the carriages.”
Slowly the youngest Weasley got accustomed to the beast as Harry guided her hand. It was a new experience, and it was another thing that made her question the world she lived in. There was an invisible creature who had been right in front of her eyes for half a decade, and this was the first time she came to know about it.
The carriage ride after that was mostly silent as each of them relaxed in the other’s company.
Luna was reading The Quibbler while Ginny was leaning on the blonde. The redhead was happy to be included in the small group of people who knew the secret to the horseless carriages. It felt like a small secret of their own, and she was happy to be part of it.
Harry lounged back as the beast trotted towards the castle in complete silence. It was a bit peaceful, too peaceful for his tastes, but his time in China had taught him the merits of silence and the beauty in stillness.
He knew that the coming months would be anything but boring, and he knew that he should introduce himself to Susan as soon as he could. He got a glimpse of an auburn-haired girl when they were getting off the train, but he had restrained himself from approaching her because the girl had seemed in a hurry and had boarded the first carriage to Hogwarts with her blonde friend in tow.
They walked through the cobbled pathway and then took the stairs to the Great Hall. Harry smiled at a few of the students who watched him with curiosity brimming in their eyes. He even winked at a few girls and smirked when they giggled like…well…school girls?
“Mr Carter!” A voice called him, and the trio stopped to see an elderly witch in a pointed hat with a parchment in her hand. Her green robe shimmered in the light from the torches as she walked towards them.
“Mr Cart—why aren’t you wearing your school uniform?”
“Who are you again?”
McGonagall was about to reply before she looked towards the two girls behind Harry, “Miss Weasley, Miss Lovegood, I think it’d be better if you joined the rest of your house that’s already seated in the Great Hall. Mr Carter will be joining you shortly.”
The two immediately did so, bidding him a quick goodbye and promising to stay in touch even if he got sorted into another house.
“Now, Mr Carter, care to explain why you’re not in your school uniform?”
“I take it that you’re a professor here?” He asked her and saw her nod. “Then, professor, I am quite sure that you already know I am in my school uniform.” He turned around to show her the back of his trench coat, which boasted an intricately designed silver dragon on it.
“That is not what I meant, Carter.” McGonagall frowned. “You were supposed to be in your Hogwarts robes since you’re joining the school as a student.”
“I’d like to clear something quite well, professor.” Harry narrowed his eyes. “I am not your student. I was and always will be a student of Dragon.”
“Be that as it may, but you surely don’t plan on walking through the corridors and attending classes like…” She looked at his clothes. “That?”
“You mean like an actual human with good fashion sense, not an idiot who wears colourless oversized robes? Yes, I do.” Harry shrugged. “Your uniform is tasteless, and I don’t plan on wearing it ever.”
McGonagall narrowed her eyes at him, “Headmaster Dumbledore has asked for you.” She turned her head. “Follow me.”
⁂
“Come in, Minerva.”
The transfiguration mistress entered, followed by Harry, who gave an appreciative glance at the double-storeyed circular office of the Headmaster of Hogwarts. The walls were loaded with portraits of former headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts who snoozed peacefully in them.
There were shelves laden with old tomes that started from the floor and touched the ceiling and a red and gold phoenix that was perched on a golden stand with a bowl of water and some seeds in front of it.
“Care for a lemon drop, Harry?” A voice attracted his attention. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you, Harry.”
“I do, Headmaster.” Harry nodded. “Keep it to Mr Carter or Carter or even Deadpool. I like that last one, by the way.”
Dumbledore’s smile fell a bit before he nodded, “Understood.” He tried to cheer up, “I take it that you like my office, Mr Carter?” He smiled at the boy; it was always amusing to watch the reactions that appeared on anyone’s face who entered the office for the first time, and the simple question was a good enough ice-breaker as well.
“It’s chaotically organised.” Harry walked closer to the phoenix that was watching him with his beady black eyes. “And, you also have a way to trap someone here.”
“Oh?”
“The office is in a different tower on the third floor, sealed with a gargoyle from the entrance and windows that are cleverly locked with magic. No one can apparate inside or out of the castle, and the floo is closed.” Harry gave a small smirk when the magical bird peered at him curiously. “The only way one can actually escape is through the phoenix, and he only listens to you.”
“Escaping from the headmaster’s office isn’t something that someone thinks of when they first enter, Mr Carter.” Dumbledore smiled, “May I ask the reason as to why you’d think of such a thing?”
“You may.”
It took Dumbledore a few seconds to understand that Carter really wanted him to ask first. He looked at his deputy, who looked away from him, clearly irritated at something.
“And…why would you think so?”
“I don’t feel the need to tell you my reason.” He went towards the desk and popped a small candy in his mouth. “These are good. Lemon drops, right?”
“Lemon drops or Sherbet lemons, they are my personal favourite.” Dumbledore watched as Harry hummed in delight. “It’s better if you don’t bite it. Makes it more enjoyable.”
“Will keep that in mind.” Harry nodded, picking another one. “Now, why was I summoned?”
“I wanted to meet you, Mr Carter, and the professors have also requested to sort you before we sorted the first years.”
“Isn’t this sorting only done for students of Hogwarts?” Harry asked the headmaster. “Also, wouldn’t sorting me put that house in danger of losing points, as it’s quite possible that I’ll skip classes and would probably leave the class in session because of my work?”
“Ah yes, regarding that,” Dumbledore nodded, “We had a meeting because your presence is quite a unique circumstance that has never been seen before at Hogwarts, and almost all of us have agreed to give you special permissions regarding your line of work. The sorting is more for the safety of the students and to keep things undercover.”
“And I suppose you’ll ask me to wear those hideous robes as well?”
“They are the school uniform, so, yes.” Albus smiled. “I don’t suppose they are that bad, right, Professor McGonagall?”
“I’d have objected, but then seeing that bright purple thing you wear and those floating moons and stars….” Harry waved off. “Also, I am not going to wear any of those robes. If you have any problem, you can ask my contractor to tell me.”
“Mr Carter—”
“You are not my contractor, Headmaster.” Harry shook his head. “Unless Director Bones finds enough time in her current schedule to tell me to wear Hogwarts robes, don’t expect me to wear it.”
“Mr Carter, you are in Hogwarts. You have to follow the rules of the school,” Dumbledore insisted. “The only reason we even allowed something like this was because—”
“You couldn't deny the Director of the DMLE. She’d have refused the funds as well as taken her ward away to some different school, which would not only kill your expenses, but also make other families wary of sending their children here, which meant a bad reputation.”
Harry smirked; it was some classified information that Tonks had helpfully provided him when he had prodded the auror, and the way the smile fell from the old Headmaster’s face, he knew that he had hit the bull’s eye.
“We both know that Hogwarts isn’t the one making exceptions; it’s the one accepting them.” Harry smirked. “So, don’t even think of pushing me around with rules and shit. I am here to do my work, and that’s all that matters to me. My overcoat is an advantage in my line of work, which I don’t plan on giving up for some stupid robe.”
Almost instantly the temperature plummeted as both Dumbledore and McGonagall released their magic, which saturated the atmosphere inside the office. The torches started to flicker, and the shelves trembled. Even a few of the portraits started to scream at him for disregarding both Hogwarts and its headmaster like that.
Harry smirked at the chaos and pulled one of the chairs before plopping on it. He leaned back and raised his eyebrow at the old mage as if he was asking, ‘Done?’
Dumbledore didn’t rise to the obvious bait and took a deep breath before raising his hand to silence the portraits. Slowly the pressure receded, and things returned to normal as if nothing had happened in the first place. He looked at the mercenary and wanted to pull the rug from under the boy, but he couldn’t because whatever he had said, while rude, was unfortunately true.
It wasn’t the only one, but it was a major reason as to why Dumbledore had not only agreed to entertain the idea of an active mercenary in a school full of innocent children, but he had even given him special permissions to kill if needed.
The other reason was that Amelia Bones had threatened to publicly slam him for the things that had happened inside Hogwarts for the last five years. The auburn-haired witch had somehow got her hands on specific evidence regarding the activities happening inside the castle, and making them public would have put the school as well as the staff in danger.
“Very well, Mr Carter.” Dumbledore sighed. “I’ll have a meeting with Amelia regarding the school uniform and a few rules that you should follow while you are under my care. For now, we’ll just go with the sorting, and I hope that you’re not objectionable to that as well.”
Harry shrugged, “If your professors don’t have an issue with me leaving and skipping, then sure, I’m alright.
The Headmaster summoned the sorting hat that had been kept on the shelf behind him and placed it in front of Harry. “Wear it.”
The boy frowned at the tattered old hat, which looked like it was last washed a few centuries ago. He looked back at the Headmaster, hoping that the man was kidding and just wanted a way to mock him, but the elder mage just nodded again. So, Harry gave a shrug and placed that hat on his head, its brim falling to cover his forehead.
“Oh? This is certainly a surprise.” A gruff voice sounded in his head, “Welcome back to wizarding Britain, Harry Potter.”
Harry’s eyes widened in shock before he threw the hat into the corner of the office.
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Ending Note: There we go!
Liked it? Loved it? Needs some changes? Please, do tell.
I am waiting for all your comments. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Thank you for reading and your comments,
With regards,
Dev Black
Comments
Dev Sagittarius Black
Harry's fucking awesome, and those dull school robes will never work with him 😂😂
Dev Sagittarius Black
I'll have to check the battle robes, and see what we can do. Maybe Harry gets a set of battle robes for himself just because he wants it lol.
I am lord dems
Kekekek good thing the hat doesn't speak out loud what it is talking to with the students . Also I know you are not incorporating Hogwarts legacy in it but maybe a compromise of one of those robes like arcane or battle or something
DarkLightning34
Loved the ending, also fuck the Hogwarts uniforms, I would much rather wear what Harry's wearing over a fucking robe
