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MP : 81 Supreme Mystic Code

🕑 Added 2024-12-03 16:00:02 +0000 UTC

Comments

Duck

I like this story, and I like your writing, so please don’t take this the wrong way. This is completely constructive and I hope you take this to heart and improve your writing skills going forward. The main critique I have with the writing is how repetitive it is. You already told us the mystic eyes Roy needs are rare because he needs the kind that affect his mental fortitude. Repeating that 5 times in one chapter is more than just outrageous. It comes off as filler to meet whatever word count you have set. If you can’t think of a way to fill the chapter, maybe combine the next chapter and condense it a bit? A lot of these ‘chapters’ could easily be cut out and it would make the story feel a lot more fluid rather than like a high school essay you just want to be done with. If you are going to request money for these stories, make it worth our while. If this continues, Im honestly gonna consider unsubscribing. I want you to succeed and I hope you take my advice to heart.


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