Woadedfox
patreon
Please remove your pledges! (October Update)
🕑 Added 2017-09-28 14:06:12 +0000 UTC So, I have been thinking long and hard about this for a while now and I am reminded each month of this issue, not just on Patreon but with what other Patreon artist offer too.I am slow and am not able to deliver on my promises, mainly and also for a long time now I have had absolutely no enthusiasm for making art and feel I have lost that genuine enjoyment while making it. Trying to explain this is kind of tough to do but basically when I draw mostly it seems like I am in an almost robotic mindset, where drawing an images is more of an analytical activity rather than a refreshingly rewarding and creative act.
Similar to drawing as a kid, where you are utterly wrapped up in you own ideas and just making stuff for the sake of making it. I like to describe this as a rejuvenating form of creativity, where simply doing it is enough to power you through. I have not had this feeling for a very, very long time and its got to a point where I have honestly considered giving up, not only on Patreon content, but also FA and the whole, wanting to be a furry artist thing, and that's not good.
This is not even considering my slowness or lack of interest for commissions, Patreon projects or other commitments, but it has seeped into my personal art for along time now too. For instance, my sketchbooks have been gathering dust, or taken up to 4 or 5 months to fill. Often littered with unfinished sketches, sparse studies and lifeless drawings.
I also no longer know where my art is going or what is driving me to make it either. I can't work on stuff for monetary gain alone, which is why I am picky with commissions and it seems that, at the end of the day the thought of sketching either doesn't move me, or I sit down and draw a bunch of unfinished sketches, like my mind is detracted.
I have been dropping hints about this for some time now and most people (who I would say I know well on a fairly intimate and friendly level) have said things along the lines of "Just do what makes you happy" or "Make whatever works for you" and the like. However I honestly don't know what makes me happy with my art anymore. There is still something there, but I have no idea what it is and I think this is pretty evident in my slowing down of content and lack of uploads too.
Unfortunately I don't want to say I am burnt out, because I know how that feels, believe me I hit that a lot when I used to draw regularly, this just feels different to me, like something isn't adding up with it. Maybe I am running from my responsibilities but I just do not feel right, drawing what I do currently dose not get me out of bed with a good enthusiastic feeling, rather it forces me out, and looking at artists I admire I don't see that with them. They seem to genuinely enjoy what they do.
With that said, I have just gone about deleting my reward tiers on Patreon, however that dose not cancel people's pledges. I had initially wanted to make my Patreon entirely free for a while but I am not sure how this is done. Mainly so that the people who support me on here do no longer get charged monthly as I have been so piss poor with keeping up to schedule. So please, please get rid of your pledges, I don't want any of you to be charged for supporting me on here until I re open my Patreon back to how it was before.
I just can't take the fact that I am unable to keep my promises and then, charge people for it at the end of each month, it really stresses me out and I feel like a thief! I am just too flaky to keep this up currently.
I do plan on keeping my Patreon account open and will post on it like before, but I would feel a lot better about myself if you did not support me with your money, at least not if I can not get things together to the point where I feel it is worth the money I currently get offered.
I really hope you do stick around on here though. You do not need to support me monetarily to keep getting my work in your subscription feeds, if you wish to keep supporting me with donations however I can't stop you, but know I would rather you didn't. However you will still see work from me hopefully. :)
Thanks.
Comments
Silkyspectre
Maybe try developing a bit of a head-canon for how these characters interact and what sort of world they live in? I think that might do some good as far as drawing them feeling more interesting, is if you try to tell a bit of a story, :) Sexy vixens are nice, but drawing sexy vixens just to draw sexy vixens gets stale for you to do after awhile, I'm sure. So even if you just come up with a bit of a setting for each picture (Thinking of something like the yoga scene you did for a commissioner with Roza and Nina) and a bit of a story, that could help inspire you on what to create, and make your characters take on a new lifef, :)
Silkyspectre
Heya, I just wanted to say that I just got off of a binge of looking at all the pretty vixens over on e621 that you've drawn. I've noticed that you seem to have a couple of recurring characters, namely Roza and Nina(maybe Niina?), and you've got a couple others that are less-featured but still pretty cool, like Roman and Raza. (And that's just what I could tell from character tags on e621, lol)
H.R. LaChance
Yo man, sorry to be late to the party here. Have you ever just thought about quitting and letting that spark find you? Maybe you just have to let your subconscious work through the nagging feelings while you take a hiatus for just yourself. You do you man, even if you're feeling like a listless ship without direction you probably arent. You may not just see the course you're on just yet because your mind is clouded with self-doubt. It happens and the fog lifts in due time. Be well dude, I've got faith in you no matter what you choose or what ever the outcome is.
Brian Roy
And here I just stopped by to start pledging, especially because I wanted to reward the fact that you didn't believe in using Patreon as a paywall. Ah well, when you feel it's right again to put out the tip jar, I'll be waiting. I hope the spark doesn't stay hard to find for long. I've struggled with something similar; not so much burnt out as enervated...just...like there's some missing piece of yourself that's wandered off with your drive. At least, that's how things feel to me sometimes. If you're in a similar place, I hope you find your way out soon, but the path you walk is the path you walk, and I don't want you to think you "owe" us this. Thank you for what you have done, and for what you will do. And if (when?) you change your mind on that tip jar thing...
Woadedfox
perhaps it is burnout, I don't know in all honesty, but whatever it is I wont stop uploading, I just want to get my commitments sorted and then I will put my Patreon back up again. So no worries about not seeing more stuff. :)
Woadedfox
Thanks Epon. I know Patreon should be a site where people feel like supporting a content creator regaurdless of the rewards but I just felts horrible about not being able to meet my deadlines and then accepting payment at the end of each month. I probably should have been a bit more rational about it really as I can't dictate what people decide to do with their money and if they wish to support me or not. I will probably star Patreon back up soon, but I just felt like I needed to get commitments done, before I accepted a load of money form people. haha but thank you, I won't stop posting just yet! :)
Satanic Cabal
Whatever. As long as you continue producing work everything by me is fine. I care about financially supporting you, not buying some perk.
Woadedfox
After seeing your comment I knew I shouldn't have asked or told people to remove their pledges really. I can't make people spend their money or not spend it. I mainly removed them because I really didn't want to write another monthly update making a load of excuses about how I hadn't been able to keep to schedule. Most people do not abandon me but, I still feel dreadful taking their money when I am not able to keep my promises. So that's why I removed my pledge options for now. I might have them back at some point and I still plan on posting when I can like normal. But I have not made a choice just yet, so we will have to see. :)
ZePompom
Don't force you to make content for us. Do want you want, when you want, the way you want. I loved your art before the patreon, for me it was just a way to thank you for your lovely art. If you draw less, because it's less fun for you than before, no problem at all, I'll still be here and enjoy it :-) I love your art and my only regret is to never had commissione you.
Woadedfox
Thank you Pom, I can't tell people how to spend their money, I know that and I probably shouldn't have titled this post that way. But I am glad you like the stuff I make enough to keep supporting me that way. I will keep the content up the best I can.
e Pon
If I could afford to support you, I would, even if you weren't uploading. The reason why is the whole point of patreon! So many people join patreon thinking it's about paying for content. It's not! It's about finding creators you love and supporting them so that they can continue doing what they love, and having that feeling you described. The whole reason for pledging is to give you that bit of free time to draw what you want! I want to support you however I can, without reward, just like you do for me. But I want to support that creative side of you who draws what you're inspired to draw, not some robot who draws for money. I'm sure anyone who pledges feels the same way. Also if people really feel you aren't uploading enough for them, they can remove their pledges at any time. But we all want to stay and support you, we don't want you to feel like a work horse! We want you to take your time and show us things you enjoyed drawing, even if that means less often.
McClaw
"Burnout" (and all the other issues that make it difficult to create) happens. It's also not terminal. It may not seem like it now, but you'll rediscover something to be passionate about creating again. I hope it's something you're willing to share.
Satanic Cabal
Look, I know exactly what it feels like to not comply with schedules and fall behind. However, you should ask yourself something. Do we, your patrons, care? I myself do not. I'm not going to comply with your request because you do not fail to comply to my expectations. I value your content and I think you post frequently enough to justify my monthly pledge. That being said, if you want to take a couple months off that's fine with me.
ZePompom
That's very sad :-( Make me think of my depression, even fun activities become tasteless and boring and I have to force myself to do things I used to enjoy to do. But I don't want to delete my pledge, I love your art :-(
