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(DHF)Chapter 67: Finger licking good
🕑 Added 2024-06-16 15:43:59 +0000 UTCTo be clear it was just the six plots of land on either side of the church that added about thirty yards of land to either side of the church to our possessed land. That may seem like a lot but in truth that was pretty average for decently sized familias. Even worse was that until I took the time to tear everything down that land would look like a bunch of abandoned buildings still. Destruction was WAY easier than creation though so all I had to do to fix this issue was unleash my flames and watch that shit burn until nothing was left.-
If you are wondering why I didn't reuse the wood from the buildings it was simply because I didn't feel like it. Hestia might have preferred the churches original shape and design and I maintained it as a result but this land was mine and I wanted to get creative with it. That means it was time for me to go all evil supervillain and make an underground lair! Well okay so half and half really but the point still stands.-
I wasn't going to use wood for this project though as I wanted to make my lair a gods damn nightmare to breach. To accomplish this I grabbed a massive tarp and headed to the dungeon to slaughter me some orcs. My plan was simple really, I was going to refine the things entire skeletons and use their bones to build my base, fucking metal as hell right? Obviously this was going to take more than one trip but I was more than happy to put in the leg work. Killing the orcs was also easy as shit as I just ran up to them and used my cursed technique to seal their eyes, ears, noses and mouths before patiently waiting for them to suffocate to death.-
Naturally I also spent some time hunting down any metal I could find on floors ten through twelve with my metal detecting compass. I got some really odd looks when I first left the dungeon with a massive makeshift sack of clattering bones on my back but no one stopped me and after repeating this process for a week the guards had even given me a new nickname [Bone collector], which was still better than the one the gods gave me in my opinion.-
Still after a week of slaughtering orcs and other large type monsters and dragging their entire skeletons back to the church I had enough to make the above ground portion of my lair. Cheeky ass I am I even set up a big cloth curtain to stop anyone from seeing me create the building. I had the bones all piled up like small mound of corpses in place when I got started by placing my hands on to side of the pile.
"Hell's Forge!" I spoke and the black and blue curse energy began to pour across the entire pile like it was soaked in gas before hit with a lit match.
If anyone could see what was going on they'd be astonished to see all the bones melting into a pond of discolored liquid before that liquid turned into a huge perfectly flat rectangle. I took a break to restore my cursed energy because this was obviously not a energy cheap process. This meant I downed potions like they were water on a hot day. Still my next move was to raise the walls from this bone foundation which I did by causing the bone to rise on the sides to my chosen height roughly before fixing the shape manually.-
I was a bit miffed to discover that I didn't have enough bone to create the roof and had to make a couple more trips to the dungeon to collect the stuff. By this point the crystal for Ptah's commission was starting to show up in a bunch of chunks the size of a person. I just stored them in my unfinished building while I worked on completing it. Finally though after a week and a half of effort I had a big ass hollow rectangle of monster bone set up which left me with the fun part of this project, decoration!-
I transformed the walls on the outside into a false appearance of a stone brick construction, seams with uneven mortar included. Then I literally raised the roof into long chinese style tile design that looked marvelous from the outside but was totally transparent on the inside. The final touch I used the metal I had collected to create an alloyed metal door to seal the place shut when I wasn't here. It was a simple thing that sat on internal hinges that had a single handle and cursed tool lock of my own design.-
I was quite proud of my lock too as I imbued it with a cursed technique to recognize my finger print so i just needed to stick my thumb in the socket to unlock the door. The best part was that i added a cannibal mechanism to the lock so if anyone not registered tried it they'd loose that digit. The only real security issue left was the air vents I had to keep me from suffocating in here as I worked. Lighting was easy as I just made some cursed tools that produced light and that was that.-
"It looks suspiciously normal for you." hestia said with a wary look as I showed off my new building.
I clutched my chest over my heart dramatically "I'm offended that you'd think so little of me! All the fun stuff is just well hidden." I said with a grin.
"I knew it! Alright so what insane stuff have you casually added to this place then?" she asked curiously.
"Well the door eats fingers, then the walls have inbuilt lighting sources and finally the roof is actually transparent on the inside." I said casually.
"The door eats fingers!?" she exclaimed in horror.
I smiled proudly "Hell yeah it does!" Slaps door "This baby can eat so many fingers!" i said with a laugh at the look she gives me like I had gone off the deep end. "Chill, it's an anti theft measure so unless someone without permission tries to get in you've got nothing to worry about." I reassured her that I wasn't THAT mad quite yet.
Might get there in the future but not at the moment so everything's fine and nobody needed to start worrying about it for the time being.
"Why would you even make something like that?" she asked with a confused look.
"Ah well most locks can be picked but THIS lock will eat your fingers if you try so like it's way better right?" I asked with a wide smile at my impeccable logic.
Comments
Christian Jeffress
Absolutely awesome and incredibly metal new construction, now, I really want him to introduce some Doom style heavy music lol.
Christian Jeffress
But those are the best kind of ideas? Lol
Cole Bromley
I didn't think of that XD
Cole Bromley
Thanks for the chapter!
Loskro
That's the point, The logic behind the idea is sound but the idea itself is some unhinged shit.
Cmols897
I find no flaw in his argument, he can even charge them to grow the finger back thus making money off them trying to steal from him
