patreon_loskro
patreon
(Bus)Chapter 53: Boozy problems
🕑 Added 2024-12-30 16:29:06 +0000 UTC"Had fun with the bandits?" I asked as we walked up.
"They didn't know what hit em." Mordy said with a toothy grin.
I casually reached through the fire and grabbed one of the roasted Skags back legs and tore it off. I handed it to Brick who grinned and ripped into the meat eagerly getting grease all over his face. I pointed at the Skag again and Mordy patted his belly telling me what he wanted. A quick slice of my guns blade and the meat was handed over to him easily.-
I myself took the other back leg and found a chair with only a little blood on it to sit in as I ate.
"Toss me one of the brews." I said and Mordy did.
I easily caught the dirty can with a red and white flag pattern on it and a italic style label "CONQUISTADOR". I cracked the can and took an experimental sip before spitting it out in disgust.
"That tastes like hot piss!" I cursed angrily.
Mordy chuckled and shrugged "I never said it was good booze." he said with a grin.
"Fuck it I'll get into my own stash of hooch even if only to get the taste of that swill out of my mouth!" I swore as I took a bottle of tequila out of my inventory.
The bottle itself was made of a silver glass with a scale pattern and raised lettering that read "DRAKE SILVER". I twisted the wax seal off and popped the cork on it causing bubbles to rise in liquid.
"Never seen a bottle like that before?" Mordy said curiously.
"Neither has anyone else in the six galaxies, it's my own personal brew. Used my house to make it since I'm not a fan of bourbon or whiskey." I said as I took a swig of the stuff.
It burned like all alcohol does but then the flavors of sweet agave and sour lime came through. I corked it good before tossing it over to Mordy who curiously uncorked it again and took a sniff. He immediately recoiled slightly as the fumes stung at his nose but didn't hesitate to tip the bottle back to down the clear liquid within.
"That's some fine booze! You gotta get me a barrel or two of this Alex!" he said singing praise for my brew as he reluctantly handed the bottle to Brick who gulped it down like water emptying the bottle.
"OI! That's meant to be savored!" I said angrily seeing this.
"Bah, booze is booze you drink it either way!" Brick said waving me off.
"That was one ten proof tequila not piss quality beer! I wouldn't be surprised if you spew your guts out in five minutes with how much you just drank." I said seriously.
To my and Mordy's great shock however Brick was only suffering a mild stomach ache five minutes later. If I didn't know for a fact he didn't have the [omnivore] or [iron stomach] traits I would have thought he did.-
I ended up finishing the Skag off right before Roland and Lil showed up a little bloody and battered but still in fine fettle.
"Bloodsport arena rougher than expected?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Fucker in charge of the place tried to rig the matches by sending in a bunch of alpha Skags. A pain in the ass to kill fast because of those thick armored hides of theirs." Lil explained with an annoyed look that Roland shared.
I nodded in understanding "Brick and I's targets were a pair of fire and shock badass alphas and were surprisingly durable as well, had some good if expensive traits too." I said casually.
"A few bandits around the parts but Blood and I handled it easy." Mordy reported with a grin.
"What's wrong with him?" Roland asked looking at Brick who was groaning while holding his gut.
"He downed about a liter and a half of one ten proof tequila like it was a bottle of water. Kinda amazed he hasn't hurled everywhere to be honest." I explained and both Lil and Roland looked at the big guy in shock.
"The fuck did he even find something like that!?" Lil asked with a greedy look.
"The booze was my personal brew and I made the fucking mistake of sharing it after Mordy tried to poison me with that piss tasting scum that dares call itself beer." I said with a disgusted look at the offending "beverage".
"Conquistador? Notorious brand of beer for how bad it is. I've heard that even Skags avoid the stuff." Roland said after looking over the cans.
"Bad booze is better than no booze in my opinion." Mordy said with a shrug.
I handed over some bottles of water to Lil and Roland who eagerly gulped it down and used it to clean off the blood and viscera on their clothes. It wasn't very effective but better than nothing and they dealt with it the best they could. Brick finally recovered enough for us to hit up the safehouse fifteen minutes later when his body finally decided it had had enough and he painted the ground with his stomach contents. The remnants of the tequila in his system were quickly processed after that and he was good to go.-
The safehouse was a sorta underground bunker type deal and only the door leading down into it was above the ground. It looked like a military bunker with trash, a cot and scrap metal near the metal door that opened up to reveal rusted stairs leading down into the place. I really didn't fucking like this place as once we got down the stairs and into the base proper I saw WAY too many ambush points. The entire place groaned under it's own weight and strain constantly while the pipes running under the metal grate of the floor released steam from their cracks, the ventilation worked though so that's a thing.-
At the far side of this first room was an older fast travel station(offline of course) and to the direct left of that was a corpse hung up like calendar with a metal spike through the heart and throat. Likely done when the poor son of a bitch was alive from the blood stains on the floor and wall. On the wall to the right of the room were two vending machines that confused the shit out of me because like how the fuck did they get here, in working order no less?-
One of them was a med vendor which I know for a fucking fact Zed wouldn't have put here since the bandits would have probably worn his skin like a poncho if he tried. The second was one of Marcus's ammo vending machines and from what I understood about the fat bastard actually fit as he had no compunctions about selling to bandits. Everyone other than me and Brick stocked up on ammo and grabbed a couple med kits for emergencies. We headed through the doorframe near the vendors and entered what could amount to a long hallway with grates, exposed air ducts, lights and pipes.-
There were of course also all the creature comforts of the local banditry in the form of trash, skulls on ropes, mostly empty shelves, dirty trash ridden tables and chairs and the occasional bandit pride flag.
"Are these guys that confident that the corpses outside could guard the entrance to this place that they didn't put any guards here or are they just that fucking careless?" I asked genuinely curious after seeing no one at all guarding this first long hallway like room.
"Probably both, bandits are kinda stupid." Brick said and no one argued.
We walked nearly to the end of the hallway before a bandit walked around the corner and froze when they saw us.
"INTRUDERS!" he screamed and went to pull out his gun only for Lil, Roland and I to simultaneously blow holes in his chest cavity.
It was like someone kicked an ant's nest after that as the bandits in the place started swarming towards us from further into the complex. We fought through them and soon reached the area that was clearly where they lived as it both had the greatest concentration of bandits and the stuff they needed to survive, food, water and beds.
"My servos... are seizing." We heard a familiar voice say from up ahead as we went down some stairs to continue on our way.
"A Claptrap? Here?" Lil asked confused at the sound.
We rounded the corner and down the short narrow hallway was a blue and white robot laying on it's back moving weakly from the damage it had taken. Judging from the dart board propped up behind it full of bullet holes it was quite clear the bot had been used as target practice. It was also being dramatic since it was far from being decommissioned despite the damage it had taken.
"Let me get this back into my house where I keep my tools. I should be able to fix it." I said and the others agreed to wait.
I opened up my house right in the hallway and grabbed the bot by it's wheel and carried it inside. I took it into my crafting room and carefully began to take it apart to see all of the damage. From what I could see the bandits had only done damage to a few of the more exposed parts near the optics that were easy enough to repair since the parts were quite common. A few minutes after I got to work I put the bot back together and and left my house before switching it back on.
"I'M ALIVE! HAHA!" the bot yelled as it flipped up onto it's wheel dramatically.
_______________________________________________
Alexander Drake
Lifeforce: 180,304
Integrated Traits: [Gun expertise-Uncommon grade], [Clever mind-Rare grade],[Enhanced senses-Epic grade]X2, [Omega body-Rare grade]x4, [Supreme armored hide-Epic grade]X2, [Bone regeneration-Uncommon grade], [Corrosion resistance-Uncommon grade], [Energy projection-Epic grade]x4, [Superior vitality-Epic grade],[Flame breath-Uncommon grade],[Regeneration-Epic grade], [Disease resistance-Epic grade],[Amphibious lungs-Uncommon grade], [Thermal sensing-Uncommon grade], [Water resistance-Common grade],[Active camouflage-Epic grade], [Eridian engineering expertise-Mythical grade], [Efficient lungs-Rare grade]x2, [Fire resistance-Epic grade], [Elemental body(fire)-Legendary grade], [Shock resistance-Epic grade]X3, [Energetic sustenance(shock)-Epic grade]X2, [Radiation resistance-Epic grade]X3, [Energetic sustenance(radiation)-Epic grade]X2, [True omnivore-Rare grade], [Biometallic bones-Epic grade],[Elemental body(shock)-Rare grade]X2,[Quick thinking-Rare grade], [Hyperflexibility-Rare grade], [Strong circulation-Epic grade], [Minor spatial awareness-Epic grade], [Buzzaxe expertise-Uncommon grade], [Siren(Phaselock)(Altered)-Mythical grade]
Stored traits:[Pugilist expertise-Uncommon grade], [Adrenal rush-Rare grade], [Elemental body(fire)-Rare grade], [Fire resistance-Epic grade], [Elemental body(shock)-Rare grade], [Shock resistance-Epic grade]
Comments
Christian Jeffress
Happy new year!
Christian Jeffress
Thanks for another great and entertaining chapter. And I’m the opposite of the main character lol, I can’t stand tequila, but I do enjoy the golden brews. Bourbon, whiskey, scotch, and Brandy are all things I very much enjoy. Not too overindulgence, usually just a glass, but still, those are my go to.
