AbyssalRoadTrip
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Abyssal Road Trip - 553 - Pull me in
🕑 Added 2025-09-23 01:00:04 +0000 UTCAmdirlain’s PoV - Far Chaos
Amdirlain arrived on a platform floating before a mountainous form that extended further than a solar system. On the platform with her was the multi-limbed construct, which sank into a crouched position that caused it to resemble a misshapen spider. The silvery bubble in which Maker floated through the Far Chaos wasn’t a realm. Instead of the boundary being maintained through a self-sustaining rule set that applied to all within it, the Maker’s will held it in place, like a residence in Limbo. Yet the Far Chaos wasn’t supporting the bubble but continually fought to destroy it.
Words vibrated from the construct. “I will use this device to translate my messages, rather than uplift you again.”
“Why didn’t you do that last time?”
“Primarily, it was my distance from your realm. While it is vague within the Far Chaos, if you had remained as you were, you’d have needed a thousand years to reach me.”
“Then I appreciate your shortening the journey.” Amdirlain bowed respectfully.
“That is as you said last time. You also said you’d want to know about the debt immediately, Phaedra. Given the natures you selected, and what I saw of your realm, you have two options to repay me. Option one: you can deliver messages and fix messes caused by pantheons in realms I’ve crafted; or option two: undertake an apprenticeship. Though I would prefer you to undertake option two, the choice is yours.”
They are being very upfront.
“I gather option one would be unpredictable, and I wouldn’t be useful to you until I gained more strength?”
“That is correct. You’d thus have the debt hanging over your head—in your words—which you asked me to avoid.”
“Just to check, an apprenticeship is me working for you while you teach me?”
“Correct.”
“Is this something you want, or is it a compromise?” Amdirlain asked.
Is that my self-doubt speaking again, or the memory of Phaedra’s nerves?
“I believe we both would benefit.”
“Why wasn’t this agreed upon in advance?”
“How many reasons would you like? One, you wouldn’t have remembered the choice and could have believed I lied. Two, if you hadn’t broken through, there would have been little you could have done for me that my constructs couldn’t. Three, if you had picked other concepts to refine, then you would have been unsuitable for me to teach.” Maker’s words rumbled forth from the construct. “Would you like more?”
Amdirlain blinked at the crisp, businesslike tone from the construct. “That’s alright, I just wanted to check.”
“We are now at what was then a future point, so let us proceed. You presently have neither Shard nor Avatar. Would you prefer to work in isolation with me or maintain a connection?”
“How many years will the apprenticeship take? Sorry if I’m asking too many questions.”
The construct morphed into a genderless humanoid and patted her shoulder. “Ask as many questions as you need. Time is subjective, as I can speed up the realms used for the lessons. If you have no connections, you will have no link to your family to lean on when you feel lonely. With a Shard or Avatar, you would have an awareness of their presence.”
Was that meant to be comforting?
Despite the absurdity of the situation, Amdirlain suppressed a snicker.
“Do you have either a Shard or an Avatar?”
A cliff face turned into a constellation-filled eye, a supernova at its centre fixed on Amdirlain. “I have neither family nor a mate with whom I need to maintain a connection. You are privileged in that you have both.”
“How long have you made realms alone?”
“I’m not entirely alone, but there is no being I’m close to. It has been that way most of my existence.”
“Then how old are you?”
“It is odd that such a subjective quantity is of interest. In terms of an unaccelerated realm, take the number of years your realm has existed and multiply it by itself eleven times.” Maker allowed Amdirlain time to comprehend the number. “That would be close to the number of years I’ve been making realms alone.”
A vast loneliness echoed from Maker, and the idea of being isolated that long clamped onto Amdirlain like a vice, freezing her thoughts. “That’s a long time.”
“Do not concern yourself; it is by my choice that I am alone. You differ from me. I suggest you become strong enough so that if your realm starts to fail, you can create another for those whom you care about. Since your family and friends motivate you to endure much, it is wise to nurture that as much as you can.”
“What motivates you?”
A few of the nearby standing stones merged before they melded with the ledge they’d sat on. “Growth and improving myself, so that I might create realms with better balance and longevity.”
“But why? What’s the end goal?”
“My concerns are not translatable into your language, nor anything you can comprehend mentally at this stage of your growth. If I were to show you the bigger picture now, your awareness would fracture.”
Amdirlain resisted the urge to push the construct off the platform. “You can’t offer me any vague hints or questions regarding your concerns?”
“What is behind the Far Chaos? Where did it come from?”
That sounds like the equivalent of what created the matter for the Big Bang. So, I'd either take on the gofer role and risk losing significant amounts of time, or I'd become an office junior and split my attention.
Amdirlain mischievously rubbed the top of the construct’s head. “See, that wasn’t hard. We had similar questions on a different scale in my last realm. Let’s get down to details. What would I do as your apprentice?”
“You are both amused and playful.” The construct reverted to its weird spider-ish form. “We will start with simple tasks by creating souls with Primordial Will alone, and energising the realm’s boundary. From there, you’ll work up to roles such as what you had the other primordials undertake during your realm’s creation. You’ve created two planes with True Song, correct?”
“Yes.”
“After some instruction in energising a realm, I’ll create some realm seeds and include your rules for True Song in them, so that you can mix your use of Primordial Will and True Song. You will need to settle after reaching different points of growth, and at those points, you will return to your realm. I’ll ensure minimal time passes in your realm during training. I’ve a question of my own. How many of your memories from your first life are you still missing?”
Amdirlain coughed sheepishly. “I remember coming here and the initial discussion and price for your help, but I’m missing most of the history after that point. I’ve got them stored away in a memory vault.”
The construct just creaked and groaned under the pressure of Maker’s untranslatable reply.
“I intend to go through them, but they have an emotional impact that makes it difficult. My memories of Phaedra’s years contain a lot of pain. While it isn’t something I want to dismiss, I also don’t want it to twist who I am now.”
“To avoid distortion is sensible. You said some odd things when you first visited,” Maker admitted.
“When I was young, I didn’t understand the difference between a Primordial and a Deity. My desire to just be a Mortal was because I didn’t want to be a God like the cruel beings who’d broken my family. My Patér and I were both flawed by emotional injuries in our past, and we made mistakes. I’m trying to learn from those and improve.”
“Now that you’re back to being a Primordial, what do you intend?”
“To improve our realm, and deal with enemies old and new. There were choices I made because of harboured pain that I want to correct.”
“If you wish, we can discuss your ideas and how to implement them during training,” Maker cautioned. “You’ll also have time to catch up to the enemies you’ve drawn, and sort through recovering your memories.”
“I’m sure we talked about this before, but I’d like to know more. Can you explain what you get from this arrangement?”
“First, we’d resolve your self-inflicted hobbling. My superiors and I seek to enable those able to create realms.”
“You have superiors?”
A few of the constructs' limbs tapped against the platform before waving towards the silvery bubble overhead. “The ones who guided me in making my initial realms. I’d offer you the same arrangement they offered me: education and training. In return, you allow me to continue observing your current realm and the next realm you create. Afterwards, I’d appreciate it if you would discuss improvements you find in your realm creation.”
Are they looking for other beings to talk to?
“What specifically would be involved in this education and training during the apprenticeship?” Amdirlain asked.
“Teaching you the means by which to refine your natures and apply your Primordial Will. Techniques for overcoming blockages and various pathways to the higher tiers. The training portion would involve participation in aspects of realm creation under my supervision.”
“Why didn’t you offer this when Nicholaus and Phaedra were here?”
The silvery bubble overhead rippled, and more stones appeared across the nearby slopes, while dozens of standing stones in crowded locations merged with Maker. “You and your father were both stronger than you are now. Truthfully, I also expected your first realm to fail and you to return to learn. The strongest crafters often need to experience loss before they’ll listen to others.”
“I experienced loss in a way that didn’t cost us a realm.”
The construct crooned softly. “There is truth in that, Phaedra.”
“Well, if we’d stayed for lessons, I’d probably be someone else completely. Would unsealing Nicholaus benefit you? It is one of my goals.”
An eager twitch of the construct's limbs spoke volumes. “I’m glad that is something you desire. From what I sense of the seal, you’ll need to get to what your Gideon calls the eighth tier to break the exterior portion.”
“Can you break him free?”
“From my examination, it’s set so that only you could break it from the outside. If another were to apply sufficient force to do so, it would breach the rules of your realm and probably damage the spire.”
So if I go it alone and screw up my future selection of natures, I’d never get my family free from the spire while our realm exists.
“Alright. I think your apprenticeship offer is good. How long does this apprenticeship take?”
“How hard can you work? Once you can make a small realm through your own efforts, I’ll consider you have moved beyond being an apprentice. At different points, I’ll give you time away in your home realm to deal with anything that needs to be handled.”
“I’ve a request of my own for this apprenticeship.” Amdirlain’s gaze darted to the cliff face, but the eye didn’t reappear.
The construct waggled a forelimb at her. “If you want to set conditions, I’ll add some of my own.”
“It’s not a condition, just a request. I’ll happily do extra work to earn the required help.”
“I’ll consider it as long as it doesn’t involve my providing you strength.” The cliff face transformed into an eye again and bore down on her. “That needs to be earned, no exceptions.”
Amdirlain raised her hands. “It’s nothing like that, only tracking down some knowledge. I’d like to know about the realms my Soul had reincarnated into, if that's possible.”
“This is possible, and I can sense where you have travelled. Yet it will take time to identify the realm related to the marks left on your essence. I’ll locate them during your apprenticeship, and it will be my graduation gift to you.”
Bahamut warned me that some realms are restrictive.
“You want me motivated?” Amdirlain questioned.
“Precisely, and there is no point in teaching you if you’ll end up trapped in a realm you can’t escape. Is that condition acceptable?”
“Yes.”
“I’d caution you to be careful if you plan to go fixing things you’ve seen in those realms. If you make some beings’ lives better, you might well make more lives far worse.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind. I accept the apprenticeship offer.”
“Well, some lessons are best learned the hard way,” Maker murmured.
I don’t want to be cut off from Sarah, but I’ve avoided making an Avatar. Why? Did I have a proper reason besides that I’d never made one as Orhêthurin?
Amdirlain braced her shoulders. “When would the apprenticeship start?”
“Immediately.” Maker’s eye returned to a blank cliff face. “Shard, Avatar, or isolation. What do you need to know about the first two options?”
“With a Shard, I’d only be vaguely aware of what was happening around it?”
“There is more to a Shard than being in two places. Consider the creation of a Shard to be a fork in the road; your awareness and potential travel two paths at once. You may, at the end of a winding course, find yourselves back on the same path. Yet the further their choices take them from each other, the harder it is to merge even if they meet again.”
“Until it becomes impossible to merge?” Amdirlain whispered.
The thought of being without Sarah froze Amdirlain’s insides, and tears burned.
I couldn’t doom a ‘copy’ of myself to that fate.
“Yes. At best, they move in parallel but possess different attitudes towards an outcome. At worst, they develop in distorted directions to be unrecognisable despite their common origin. One can see this in many shards of those you know as Nüwa and Bahamut. As for an Avatar, I’d support the connection for you,” Marker replied. “The rules for avatars are mostly consistent between realms, though some limit them more than others.”
Who enforces that standard?
Amdirlain cut off the question and opted for a safe one. “How can the rules be consistent?”
“Avatars build off the base structure that is necessary for realms not to collapse under their own weight. Might I ask why you have no avatars?”
Amdirlain sat cross-legged on the platform, realising even as she did so, that the move was a delaying tactic. A profound weight of reluctance sat heavily in her every movement. “I think it’s a holdover from my perspective as Phaedra, wanting to avoid divinity.”
“Let me help you create a different perspective. Given that you can think so much faster and can sense locations from anywhere within a solar system, how do you interact with mortals? How do you have a conversation with someone at this glacial pace? In the length of our current exchange, you could have done millions of things.”
“Part of my mind keeps track of the conversation while the rest is working on other things,” Amdirlain shrugged helplessly.
“An Avatar is a physical expression of remote viewing. You allocate a portion of your attention and strength to a physical location. You could have a conversation with someone and not be physically present on the same planet. Would they find that comforting?”
“No.”
“Correct. Some beings find the usefulness of an Avatar is to provide the reassurance of physical presence to those inclined towards sight and touch.”
Creating an Avatar would be a transformation of my fear into action.
Amdirlain bit the inside of her mouth, fighting against the internal dread. “Alright, I’d prefer an Avatar to a Shard, and I don’t think isolation for so long would be mentally healthy for me. Do you have any advice?”
“There are a few options when one creates an Avatar. All have similar advantages in that their destruction will not cause you physical or metaphysical damage. Let’s go through their advantages and disadvantages. Consider them carefully, as once they’ve become accustomed to a particular type of Avatar, most find it uncomfortable to switch to a different approach.”
I need to do this, but it makes my stomach knot.
“What is your view of me making an Avatar?”
“Now that you’ve chosen, I’ll allow it is the better choice since it doesn’t risk your potential. I feel that if you couldn’t merge the shards later, it would be a source of deep regret.”
“Yeah, I’ve lost so much of myself before,” Amdirlain said. “Shall we begin, teacher?”
The construct vanished, and ten floating orbs appeared nearby, each with a glowing star-shaped pupil. “Now, delve into these avatars with your senses and tell me what you perceive. I want you to tell me the strengths and relative weaknesses in each.”
“Don’t you find making the different avatars uncomfortable?”
“I’m Maker. Why would making anything be uncomfortable for me? You’ll need to focus. I’ve made each as weak as possible, but they’re still stronger than you.”
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Amdirlain’s PoV - Yúla
Inhaling slowly, she took in the northern lands and found that indeed no time had passed while outside the realm. She stretched out, trying to get a sense of her limbs’ reduced strength, and considered the Avatar’s Profile. Primordial Will—encompassing all her powers and skills—was accessible, but the supporting attributes were only a hundredth of her full stats. Energy from the Avatar’s core bubbled through the newly formed spiritual net, and the body’s Mana pool refilled from her surroundings alone.
Mana Font is bubbling away in my main body, but not feeding this body.
She sensed that the residue of Lilith’s visit was still present, so Amdirlain carefully sang it away, cleansing the place of the faint Infernal miasma. The work reminded her of mantles that Torm had sealed away on Vehtë after the Gods’ War, but she filed that under someone else’s problem.
Týr knew what Torm did with them and had a thousand years to get rid of those mantles.
After her reduced Mana pool refilled, Amdirlain teleported back to the settlement, and Sarah’s eyebrows lifted at the change to their link. “Avatar?”
“I’m currently getting lessons from Maker, but they’re supporting the connection for two low-powered avatars.”
“Alright, so no fighting demon lords for you?”
“Yeah, not until I’m strong enough to support more powerful avatars,” Amdirlain agreed.
Sarah smiled. “That means you’ve less temptation to run off, and we can look after you for a change.”
“I shall allow that,” Amdirlain said primly. The corner of her mouth twitched with dry amusement.
“How long is Maker going to keep you busy?” Sarah scooped up a double handful of clay and pressed it into a brick mould.
“To us here, not long, but I won’t know until I come back. With the connection, Amdirlain Prime is keeping track of me with one mental track, and another is tracking the Avatar in the Outlands.”
“Me, me, me,” Sarah crooned. “Do they plan to push you back to your old strength?”
“Not in one jump,” Amdirlain clarified. “The same as I needed time to settle the grief, my natures will need time to settle with each tier. They also want me to regain memories, so Lethe is keeping me company and sharing stuff as prime works. Maker’s focus is on growth, so they seemed to disapprove of me gutting myself in such a fashion.”
Rachel leaned forward curiously. “What’s the first step?”
“They were going to teach me mechanisms to energise a realm without drawing in mass from the Far Chaos.”
“What else are you being taught?”
Amdirlain smiled. “The basic approach requires creating souls through Primordial Will, unsupported by the inertia of a realm’s rules. Their teaching approach is essentially the same as what we’re doing with the tribe. Get proficient in the basics first before introducing the shortcuts.”
“Why not just use Soul Seed?” Rachel levelled off a mould with more clay and shifted it to the end of an unfinished line.
“In a realm with no energy reserves, most powers draw strength from the boundary. Also, since one of my natures involves souls, creating them with Primordial Will is an excellent exercise for refining as well.” Amdirlain picked a split branch and shaped it into another mould.
The long song she used caused Rachel to inhale in shock. “How weak is that Avatar?”
“Stronger than that song needs, but I’m being paranoid while I adjust. I’ve got most powers and all my skills, but a hundredth of the attributes, along with only my base Mana and Psi pools,” Amdirlain shrugged. “I’ll make a better teacher than an actual doer for a while.”
“Your Avatar is a lot weaker than the initial ones I created,” Sarah noted.
“It has a spiritual net so that I can use Ki techniques, but the core only contains ten essence, so I’ll have to be careful. Still, it can grow stronger than the ones most deities use, but I can support only a small number, even at high tiers.”
Sarah scrubbed the back of her hand across her forehead and left a smear of clay. “Cheater.”
“Why do you say that?” Rachel asked.
“My avatars can’t use techniques, and this is what she can pull off with one of hers,” Sarah explained.
A mental picture of a phoenix flickered through the mental link Sarah held for Rachel and Azadi, leaving out the details of the Eldritch. Though there was nothing included to give her an accurate scale, Rachel still blanched at the intensity that Sarah had invested in the image.
Rachel snorted at Amdirlain. “Yeah, completely underpowered.”
Amdirlain rolled her eyes.
“How much stronger do they get?” Rachel tilted her head, and curiosity brightened in her gaze.
“Each tier I increase drops the strength reduction by ten. So, once I hit tier eight, each Avatar will be capable of channelling half my current strength. Again, the big drawback is that this approach lets me start with two avatars and have up to six in total.”
“Most avatars are on the level of powerful adventurers.” Rachel’s eyes widened as she made some mental calculations. “Whereas you’ll be able to send around multiple Demi-God strength avatars to kick arse.”
“Greater powers can support hundreds or even thousands of avatars, providing reassurance or guidance to people in person, whereas I’ll have ten avatars at most. As you said, it's a lot better to meet in person than just by messages, and I’ll be handling a lot of contact with messages.”
“Oh,” Rachel blinked.
“Don’t get too flustered, Rachel.” Amdirlain raised her hands. “That’s a long way off. I’m a small fish.”
Rachel smiled warily. “Are you convinced you’re underpowered now?”
Amdirlain shook her head. “I just met a being that has been creating realms for an unimaginable length of time. I’m literally a tiny ant compared to them, as their body is bigger than a solar system.”
“I don’t envy you those conversations; I’m happy being a singer,” Rachel sighed. “I think Nicholaus was too gentle with us. If he’d shown more of his strength, I don’t think any of the Anar or Lómë would have considered questioning him.”
“That would have stolen your souls’ choices away. There can be a fine line between showing strength and being authoritarian.” Amdirlain made another mould, this one thinner than the bricks. “Let’s get on with this work. Is it best to etch details onto a clay tablet and then fire it, or inscribe afterwards?”
“Why don’t you do your own experimenting?” Sarah asked.
Rachel slapped a double handful of mud into Amdirlain’s new mould. “Spread it out.”
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Amdirlain’s PoV - Outlands
As her senses extended through the surroundings, she felt Irini standing beside her. The Avatar had come into existence, lying on the lush grass along the pool’s edge, it tickled Amdirlain’s cheek as she turned towards Irini and opened her eyes.
“Hello, Mother. Why do you feel weaker?” Irini asked.
“This form is an Avatar. Shall we get everyone together, so you can take me through what you’ve been holding back?”
“We were managing,” Irini protested. “I’ll gather the solars and those daughters who are currently in charge of the different areas.”
Amdirlain flowed to her feet and cupped Irini’s cheek with one hand. “It’s not about managing; it’s about us working together. Please, won’t you talk with me about it?”
“Some of it's convoluted. Will you be here long?” Irini asked with a tone of light curiosity that short-changed her hopeful gaze.
“This Avatar will remain in the Domain, so I’m always on hand for my daughters and the faithful. I can’t handle as many psionic links at present, but there isn’t the same rush.”
Irini’s smile was dazzling. “Then we’ve plenty of time to talk and sing.”
They never complained, but I still feel bad for having left them alone.
Comments
Glenn Wright
Maker didn't create six of that type of Avatar; they made ten different types. Most types of avatars can't hold as much power.
James Skinner
That's great that she created an avatar for her daughters.
CherMi
Amdirlain explained her avatars in a weird way. Didn't the Maker just create ten different types of avatars right in front of her? With one of her natures in creation and her swift (probably) rise to tier 8, I don't see why she would have only 6 avatars. She can always create more of another type or have one of those 6 strong avatars create weaker ones or something else. Very much appreciate an avatar dedicated to her children and believers. The way she does things, a conflict with other deities is inevitable eventually and constant direct presence in her Domain is best.
