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~Marvel: Bucky X Listener SFW: Strong~ {Patreon Exclusive}
🕑 Added 2023-08-10 23:47:35 +0000 UTC
What is strength, really?
Contains: Introspection, Advice, Character Exploration, Comfort (?)
Honestly this isn't where I thought this audio was going to go, but as I thinking about strength and what that might mean to a person like Bucky, I just felt like he would be annoyed and frustrated about how the word is thrown around and how people aren't allowed to just 'be', whether that 'be' is positive or not. So that turned into this audio, and while again, I know people like the more romantic audios, Bucky is a great character to kind of get these ideas out that some people might find comforting! I hope you enjoy!
TW: There is a line in this audio where Bucky is implying suicide. Please be sure to read the script before listening or avoid it if you believe this audio will be triggering for you!
~Audio Transcript Below~
Bucky: If you look in a dictionary, strength is usually defined as, 'the inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist'.
A lot of people might say it relates to physical strength: The weight you can lift, how big your muscles are, the physical stress you're able to endure, that kind of thing.
Mental strength is another thing people talk about a lot. Enduring, maintaining yourself in the face of adversity, resisting the urge to just.....end it all......
A lot of merit has been put on positivity and being 'strong.' If you can't handle the stress, if you don't bottle up your emotions and keep moving forward, if you tell someone that you're struggling.....you're seen as weak.
Sure, there are those who say that strength comes from within, and admitting that you need help is true strength, but at the end of the day......*sighs* it's just.......bullshit.
*pause*
I don't know about you.....but I'm sick and tired of people praising me for how strong I am, or that I need to be or stay strong for the sake of myself and others around me.
You're not allowed to suffer or be sad or struggling or do any task without someone trying to uplift you and make you feel like absolute garbage because you're not subscribing to their, "good vibes only" philosophy.
And I mean the people who genuinely believe the "good vibes only" thing and aren't using it like a joke.
You know the types, the ones who immediately try to find a 'solution' to your problem--whatever it may be--instead of listening.
*pause*
You don't do that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
*pause*
*deep sigh*
The.....hyperfixation of everyone needing to pretend we're perfectly 'fine' all the time and calling that 'strength' drives me fucking insane.
A lot of us are so clearly not fine, but we ignore that in favor of spouting out the same platitudes over and over and over instead of letting ourselves experience and process actual human emotion.
It's........*sighs* Frustrating to say the least.
*pause*
I don't want to have to be strong, I guess....I don't really ever want anything I do for the rest of my life to be considered a display of strength, mental.....physical.....or anything outside of that.
I'm just.....done......
I don't want it.....
*pause*
And they think they're complimenting you too.....when they say how strong you've been in the face of adversity......when on the inside.......you feel like you're falling apart.
*pause*
It's all a lie.....a façade...we pretend......
*sighs*
I don't want to live in a world where strength is more important than kindness.....than vulnerability and truth......
*sighs*
I don't know where I'm going with this really......I'm just....fed up, I guess.....with pretending.....
And even though there are days where I'm....maybe not happy, but....content with how I handled my demons in whatever shape they decide to take on......I don't want to have to hear that I'm 'strong'......to make me feel like I matter.......that my struggles are....worth it.....I guess.......
I get the feeling that you're the same way......at least a little bit.......
Wherever strength comes from or how it manifests, it shouldn't be defined by how much trauma and stress and horrible things you can withstand and come out the other side from......
*pause*
I don't know how it should be defined......and honestly, I don't really care......
I guess......just know that you don't have to pretend.....in front of me.......and I won't patronize you.......not my style.....
You don't have to be strong.....just......be......
