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~The Witcher: Jaskier X Listener SFW: Give Yourself Grace~ {Patreon Exclusive}
🕑 Added 2024-02-11 22:55:09 +0000 UTC
Jaskier can tell that things aren't going well for you, and even though he might not be the most tactful or eloquent sometimes....it's nice to know that someone actually understands.
Contains: Mental Health Talk, Advice, Comfort
Is it a bit on the nose that I made one of the first audios this month about executive dysfunction? Maybe? But did I also want to make something that might comfort or help someone who's in the same boat as I? Yes! Even if you aren't someone who struggles with it, I think that what I've made here is a good message for anyone, so I hope that you all enjoy!
~Audio Transcript Below~
Jaskier: What's got your knickers in a twist?
*pause*
Just noticed you've been having a rough time of it lately.....thought asking that way would be better than....well....it didn't work so never mind *clears throat*
*pause*
I'm not going to insult you and ask if you're alright either......because I can tell you're not.....
I just.....notice that you're having a hard time starting things.....and I can tell it's making you...frustrated....to say the least....
*long pause*
Ah.....I see.....I think I understand what you're talking about.....
Let's see......
It's like someone tells you to put the kettle on, but for some reason the kettle is nowhere to be found, so you can't start. And then when you tell the person that you can't put the kettle on because it's nowhere to be found, they look at you like you're an idiot and tell you, "Just put the kettle on!" like it's supposed to help.
*pause*
That's the frustrating thing, isn't it? That there are people who do genuinely want to help you, and they offer advice, but they don't understand what it is that's troubling you. So they give you the same advice that you've heard over and over. "write things down, make lists, be more organized, sleep more, drink water etc." and while yes, those things can help, they aren't going to magically unlock your brain or materialize that kettle into existence are they?
*pause*
And when you tell them that, or that their advice isn't helpful, then you're the bad buy because, 'they were only trying to help'. It's an unfortunately vicious cycle.
And it doesn't help your self worth any. You look around and see people quite easily able to perform what appear to be the simplest tasks.....then you motivate or shame yourself into trying again even though you know deep down it's not going to work.....and when you inevitably fail.....the guilt sends you spiraling.......and then you're back to square one.
The frustrating and draining nature of the cyclical loop we go through is lost on those who think we're just lazy.....
*with scorn*
Or inept.
*pause*
I did say 'we', yes.
*pause*
I have grappled with this feeling many times in my life, yes......and it took me quite a long time to stop blaming myself......
*pause*
What got me to stop? Well......putting myself and my own mental health before the expectations of others.......doing things in my own time frame.....and not pressuring myself to do more than my brain will allow.....because I don't know about you, but forcing yourself to push through it and then having it either turn out poorly or having it not work at al anyways makes it even worse.....
*pause*
*hums*
And I know not everyone has the luxury of just dropping everything and doing it at their own pace, even if it takes four times as long as someone else might take.
*pause*
Don't get that thought stuck in your head. The 'should.'
*pause*
Let me ask you this. Say that there is someone who is incredibly good at running. They can run fast and have a rather easy time doing it. And it's not that they necessarily like to run either.
Say it takes them what, four minutes to run a kilometer?
Then there's you, who is not great at running, and has to actively work to be able to do so, and has lead weights tied to their boots....why then are you expected to run as fast as the other person?
In the eyes of most of society, it 'should' only take four minutes, but they don't see the burdens that you are carrying, and how they affect you. So "should's" from them don't mean a godsdammed thing.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Judging yourself against those who do not have your weights to carry isn't going to help you, it's only going to make yourself feel worse......which in turn will make it even more difficult to start the tasks you need to start. Guilt is not a good motivator in my experience.....so why trap yourself into it?
Take it step by step, day by day at whatever capacity you can manage. And if you are not in a position where you can take as long as you need, see if there are accommodations that can be made for you......
Unfortunately we live in a world where progress is a sign of worth, and it's all utter horse shit.....you are worth just as much as anyone else.....
So my advice....if you're open to it.....is to take it moment by moment. Don't focus on the past and the struggles you had then. Don't agonize over the thought that you haven't changed or gotten better....and don't focus on the deadlines in front of you, or how things might pile up.....unless of course it is your livelihood that depends on it......
I wish it were easier for those who cannot afford to forge their own path......but if you focus on the things that you can do day by day....instead of the huge list of things that might be plaguing you......it just might help.....
Give yourself the grace that you would give another in your situation.......and you might find that things become a little easier to manage....
*pause*
Remember......"should's" are for people who aren't in your shoes....who don't feel the weight that you do.....
Take your time, take it step by step, give yourself grace....and when you finally do take the time to look back...instead of seeing the "should haves or could haves" you can see the progress that you've made......
Comments
Isela (ee-se-lah) lol
Neurodivergent twinsies
