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Never Give a Yandere a Bolter [A Cliche (Yandere) 40k Romcom] Ch.26
🕑 Added 2023-06-16 14:00:00 +0000 UTC“Yer tellin’ me I can’t even cough?!” Octus asked in disbelief that bordered on disgust.
“It would be safer if you didn’t,” Diana said, shaking her head sadly. “Some nobles I knew would have taken a single, ill-timed cough as an offense worth dueling over.”
“I must agree with Lady Diana on this, Octus. While I have confidence you will win any duel you are challenged to, you should be trying to avoid unnecessary conflict. That is why we are learning about this topic. It is better to know and not tempt fate than to ruin a potentially beneficial relationship due to a lack of ‘manners’” Ashe added, rolling her eyes when she said ‘manners’. “You do not have to like everyone you deal with but you must learn to use them if you are to survive as a Rogue Trader. And, obviously, you cannot use them if you kill them in a duel.”
The Immortal Spirit was currently just a week into its first Warp journey under Octus’ Warrant. The ship’s occupants, both those important to the plot and not, were making themselves busy in a variety of ways. One of those ways was specifically for Octus.
There was no denying that Octus was not ready for his new role as a Rogue Trader. As he was now, he would find no success in his new position or in his mission. He would only face contempt, trouble, and tribulations from the rest of the Imperium. So it was quickly decided that he needed to be brought up to snuff.
Lessons started almost immediately. He would learn etiquette, manners, and the ways of Hive World Nobility under Diana. Ashe was sitting in on those lessons, acting more as an observer/advisor as opposed to Diana’s teaching role.
These new lessons took up a decent chunk of Octus’ time. It seemed that every day of their journey so far had been spent under one mistress or another, learning the tricks of the trade and other knowledge that they could impart. He learned about the Imperial Navy and the art of sailing the stars from Captain Amelia. He learned about the wider Imperium from Lady Navigator Nuit and the Imperium’s upper echelons of power from Inquisitor Ashe herself.
And when he wasn’t sitting in a ‘classroom’, trying his best to absorb information, Sabine had taken it upon herself to keep Octus in shape. She accomplished this through vigorous martial training and no small amount of marital rewards to motivate him. In other words, after hours of exhausting training that Octus was sure he only survived due to his nature as a Perpetual, they spent hours exhausting themselves in a more carnal fashion.
The spars had started out quite onesided. While Octus was by no means a slouch when it came to physical combat, Sabine was on another level. The Imperial Guard may have been His elite soldiers but they were still ultimately cannon fodder for the Imperium at large. Sisters of Battle, on the other hand, practically radiated ‘main character’ energy.
[AN: The Imperial Guard is roughly equivalent to modern-day special forces units. Of course, with the ridiculous scale and constant combat of 40k, those ‘special forces’ number more than the Earth’s entire modern population by an order of 10 and they’re all veterans of some kind or another… Most of the Imperium’s regular soldiers (think that one marine stereotype that you know) are relegated to PDF units and other forces like that. People just see billions of soldiers in the lore and assume that they’re all just some guy who was handed a lasgun and told to fight. That’s not true. To become a Guardsman is to reach the peak of what a regular Human can achieve naturally. I could go on and on about how Imperial Guard lore is misunderstood and underestimated but I’ll stop here to keep this short lol.]
The first few spars saw Octus utterly dominated by Sabine’s combat skill and experience. They didn’t stay like that for long though. Even after only one spar, Sabine began to notice progress. Octus improved quickly and steadily each time they clashed until he was able to hold his own against her.
Their spars transitioned from beatdowns to promising matches to equal contests of skill, speed, and strength. Sabine was absolutely giddy with the development Octus was showing. The first time he had parried one of her strikes, she almost jumped his bones right there in the training hall. She actually had to call that spar early because she was dripping with arousal and couldn’t focus on the fight.
Now, with only a week of progress under his belt, Octus was able to give Sabine a run for her money. Their spars dragged on longer, becoming something more like a second form of intimacy for them than a form of training. Each time they matched blades, Sabine could feel them getting closer and their bond growing stronger.
The two of them quickly became the event of the evening aboard the Immortal Spirit. The spars were a thing of beauty for the more martially inclined. Voidsmen, Guardsmen, and even Sisters would come down to the ship’s training hall to watch the couple clash in bouts of energy, fervor, and self-improvement.
Neither of them paid their audience much mind though. Octus because he didn’t even realize they were coming to watch him and Sabine because she just didn’t care about anyone other than Octus. When they dueled, the rest of the world faded away. All that mattered to them was the other and the rush of personal combat and improvement.
The spars and the passionate lovemaking that inevitably followed them had already become something of a sorely-needed outlet for Octus. His other lessons weren’t going nearly as well as his sessions with Sabine. He was picking up the manners and nuances of power as they were taught to him but it was a slow-going process. Nothing like the physicality that he seemed to excel with.
This perceived lack of progress relative to his combat skill bred frustration within Octus. In all honesty, he was doing quite well with all of his lessons.
Ashe and the others were pleasantly surprised with how hard he tried to commit the things he was taught to memory. These were complex subjects, especially for a Guardsman with no Schola education. Nobles dedicated their entire lives to learning the intricacies of power within the Imperium and Octus was being forced to pick it up all at once. He was doing quite admirably in his teachers’ minds.
But Octus didn’t see it that way. He just saw the overwhelming mountain of knowledge before him, not noticing that he’d already started taking the first steps up that ascent. In his haste to learn everything he needed to know, Octus was pushing himself harder than what was productive.
Ashe had noticed this frustration building within Octus. And, with the borderline disgust in his voice from learning of another eccentricity of the nobility, now seemed like a good time to do something about it.
The Inquisitor cleared her throat, “Ahem… Octus, a break might be in order. I understand your resentment. Noble culture is a mystery even to me. But it is necessary knowledge for someone of your station… I believe we should adjourn this lesson until you can return to it with an open mind and more patience.”
Octus sagged in his chair with a sigh, “Haaa… Yer probably right… If I have to hear any more noble nonsense, I might just blow a gasket. Err… no offense, Diana.”
“Ohoho~ None was taken, dear Octus,” Diana said with a ladylike giggle and a gloved hand covering her mouth. “‘Nonsense’ is quite appropriate. While necessary, etiquette is not the most sensical of pursuits.”
“God-Emperor, why am I even tryin’ to learn this stuff,” Octus groaned to himself. “I’ve got a Warrant of Trade. I should just tell all the stuffy fucks to go stuff it.”
Neither Ashe nor Diana said anything in reply other than Diana’s continued giggles. Eventually, Octus stood up, “Yeah, I think it’s time for a break. I’ll see ya ladies tomorrow, hopefully after I’ve managed to stuff my brain back into my ear.”
“Say hi to Sabine for me!~” Diana called at Octus’ back as he left the requisitioned ‘classroom’.
“I will when I see her!” Octus called back.
Since the lesson had ended early, Octus found himself with nothing to do. Something that had become a rarity aboard the Immortal Spirit. It seemed like for the past week he had been constantly doing something. From lessons to sparring with Sabine to ‘sparring’ with Sabine… his schedule had left him with little to no free time.
Now, though, he wasn’t expecting anything important to happen for at least another hour when Sabine would come and find him for their evening spar. He began to wander the ship with no real destination in mind. Instead, he simply watched the crew go about their duties, stopping to help occasionally.
Eventually, he found himself standing next to a familiar face, “Sona? What’re ya doin’ here?”
“Octus!” Sona spun around, lighting up when she saw him. “Come look at this! Isn’t it ~interesting~?!”
Octus had come across Sona tucked into a nook on one of the Immortal Spirit’s lower decks. He’d ducked into a side corridor off of the ship’s main thoroughfare on a whim and ended up here. It made perfect sense to him that Sona would have found this place while doing her typical pursuit of something ‘interesting’. With all the lessons, he’d been leaving her unsupervised for the most part, something that he’d have to fix before she went and got herself into trouble.
Luckily, this situation didn’t seem likely to cause trouble. She was just observing the view from the ‘secret’ nook she’d come across. And to be fair to Sona, it was an intriguing view.
The nook overlooked one of the ship’s many macro weapon batteries. As one would expect from one of the ship’s most important areas, the deck below them was a busy, bustling mess of voidsmen and serfs. Though the shutters around the ship currently shielded them from the Warp and they obviously weren’t in battle, there was still plenty for them to do.
But the maintenance wasn’t the intriguing part of the scene below Octus and Sona. No, that would be the turf war that was about to pop off between what seemed to be two rival gangs of gunnery crew and serfs.
It was… an almost unbelievable sight. Aboard an Imperial void ship like the Immortal Spirit, the lower decks often formed into miniature societies of their own. Serfs and voidborn crew members lived and died here, never knowing anything more than the ship’s labyrinth of decks and halls. A void ship was much like a Hive City in that regard.
And as in any society, groups formed — for protection and comradery — rivalries were born, and differences had to be settled somehow. In this case, the gangs seemed to have formed around the macro cannon batteries that the serfs and gunnery crews manned.
Macro cannons were the rough equivalent of autoguns scaled up to an extreme size. A single macro cannon shell of void ship scale was the size of a small train car [AN: small train car by 40k standards lol].
While autoloaders for macro cannons were a thing, they were exceptionally rare. They were reserved for only the most faithful of Mechanicus vessels. For most void ships, the macro cannons were loaded with raw Human strength.
Hundreds of serfs dedicated their whole lives to loading these monstrous weapons of war. They lived, died, sweat, and bled according to the titanic shells they hauled into position. It was only natural that gangs would form amongst these weapon battery crews. And it was only natural that the gangs of rival weapon batteries would eventually clash…
“Starboard gun B gang represent!”
“You picked the wrong house, fool! This is port side gun 4 territory!”
Two gangs of around 50 people each faced off on the deck below Octus and Sona. They jeered at each other, shouting creative slurs and throwing up specialized gang signs. Some of them were armed with bits and pieces of scrap. Most were not. All of them seemed to be ready for violence.
“What… the actual fuck…” Octus muttered, dumbfounded by the scene below him.
“I know, right?!” Sona gushed excitedly. “It’s fascinating! I’ve seen gang warfare in the Hive but I would have never imagined that it would spread to the stars! I’m sure Miko and the other Zionites would fit right in on the ship’s lower decks!”
Octus winced, “Yeah, I’d rather not find out. Let’s try and keep the Underhivers who joined Lady’s regiment far away from this. I can’t even imagine the chaos of introducing more gangs to the ship’s lower decks…”
“Yes!” Sona exclaimed with a shiver of anticipation.
Octus fixed her with a stern glare, “Sona… No. Don’t even think about it.”
Sona crossed her arms and pouted, “Awww… not even a little bit?”
“Ya can watch but don’t interfere. Think of it… like yer at a zoo.”
“What’s a zoo?” Sona asked with an adorable tilt of her head.
“Err…” Octus was momentarily caught off guard by the question. “Like jail but for animals. And ya can, like, go watch them and stuff. It’s a ‘look but don’t touch’ kinda thing.”
Sona seemed to take in the explanation in silence for a moment before her bright smile returned in full force, “Cool! Can we go there someday? I’ve always wanted to see a real Grox!”
Octus chuckled, patting her head, “Sure. If yer good, I’ll find a way to take ya to a zoo one of these days.”
She did a little fist pump of victory, “Yessss!… Date getto!”
Octus missed the cute scene, having already turned back to the scene unfolding below them. By now, it seemed like the two weapon battery gangs were on the brink of war. For a moment, Octus wondered where the ship’s ratings and warrant officers were. Shouldn’t they be stopping this?
That question was answered when he caught sight of the warrant officers and ratings, watching the gangs from the sidelines of the lower deck. The enlisted voidsmen and petty officers seemed to be having a good time just watching the gangs clash. Octus swore he even saw betting and money exchange hands between the actual crew members.
An incredulous snort escaped Octus but he couldn’t find fault in the bystander crew members. There couldn’t have been more than a dozen of the enlisted crew compared to the hundred-odd serf gangs. While they had actual weapons, they were still outnumbered almost ten to one.
‘Plus,’ a reasonable portion of Octus’ brain pointed out. ‘They can’t just purge the gangs. The ship needs the serfs to help load the guns. It wouldn’t do to kill ‘em all, train up new serfs, and then just have the cycle repeat again…’
The longer he watched the two gangs froth to a boil, the more he came to recognize the humor in this absurd situation. Was it unprofessional and potentially dangerous? Yeah, of course, but no one expected the serfs to be sterling examples of order aboard a void ship.
And there really wasn’t much the crew could do to stop it other than a full purge of the ship’s serfs. Serfs weren’t the most righteous Humanity had to offer and they didn’t have to be. They just had to do the hard labor needed to keep a void ship running.
In a way, this was an optimal outcome. After all, if the serfs were focused on fighting amongst themselves, they couldn’t do something silly like planning a rebellion. Something that wouldn’t end well for anyone, even if the serfs succeeded. None of them knew how to pilot a void ship…
Looking at it that way, the scene below was like a void ship’s natural order. The serfs kept themselves busy when they weren’t needed for work. The ship’s crew watched for entertainment or ignored it. And the Immortal Spirit continued to function like it seemingly always had…
“This… is certainly something…” Octus said, mostly to himself and with a slight smile.
Sona was quick to agree, “Isn’t it!? I think this is my favorite spot on the ship now!”
“I’m sure it is,” Octus chuckled. “Now, c’mon, we should be gettin’ back to our room. Ya wouldn’t want to miss tonight’s spar, would ya?”
Sona was about to protest but stopped at the mention of Octus and Sabine’s spar. She bit her lip as she thought. Those were ~interesting~ too… Maybe more interesting than watching some serfs yell at each other…
“Okay! C’mon, let’s go!” Sona beamed a smile at him, already pulling him out of the nook and back onto the ship’s main thoroughfare.
“Slow down, girl! We ain’t gonna miss anything,” Octus joked goodnaturedly.
His words didn’t have much of an effect on Sona’s excitement. The chance to get a front-row seat to one of Octus’ spars was too good to pass up. She pulled Octus along behind her all the way back to their quarters. Their quarters… yet another change in her life that never failed to send shivers down her spine.
‘I’ll have to start doing something special for him when he comes back from a hard day of work,’ Sona thought to herself. ‘Maybe I could wait for him at the door like a good, dutiful w-w-wife~ Oh! And then offer him dinner, a bath, or ~me~ How exciting~’
Sona started giggling quietly and a bit maniacally to herself as she pulled Octus along. Octus remained oblivious to her thoughts and the interesting events in his future. The pair soon arrived back at their room in the ship’s officer quarters and found Sabine waiting for them there.
“Octus, there you are,” Sabine greeted with a warm, gentle smile.
Octus returned the smile with one of his own, “Howdy, Sabine. Ready for our spar?”
Sona was practically vibrating in place with excitement at this point. Sabine noticed and knowing what she was so excited for, hated to burst her bubble. She’d actually become quite fond of the Blank woman during their time in the Warp. Something about being around Sona helped calm the persistent anxiety Sabine always felt during Warp travel. And of course, it also helped that Sona was so devoted to Octus.
“Actually…” Sabine said. “I was thinking we could take a break tonight. Inquisitor Ashe stopped me earlier and told me about your frustration with your lessons, Octus. I think it is a good idea to simply relax for a night instead of have you continually push yourself.”
“Awwww…” Sona sighed, drooping with disappointment.
Octus was hesitant to agree, “Ya sure? I’m already taking a break from lessons. Can I really afford to take a break from everything?”
Sabine nodded, “I will not presume to order you to do anything, Octus. But I will say that it is okay to take time to unwind and relax sometimes. You cannot be constantly working hard. You will burn yourself out at the most inopportune moment.”
Octus caved with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like one of relief, “Alright if ya insist. Guess we’re doing nothing tonight.”
Sona was trying very hard not to pout, “Ugh, relaxation… How not interesting…”
“I think that’s kinda the point,” Octus pointed out goodnaturedly.
“It doesn’t have to be…” Sabine hinted with a knowing grin for Sona. “I’m sure you can find an interesting way to help your master relax, Sona~ Some kind of ~service~ perhaps?”
Sona quickly picked up what Sabine was trying to say. She instantly perked back up. A manic smile spread across her face. Then two things happened at once. Sabine pushed Octus into a chair and Sona scrambled to kneel in between his legs.
“W-Wha-…!” Octus exclaimed in surprise. It spoke of his trust in Sabine that he didn’t try to resist the sudden motion at all.
Sabine leaned in from behind him to whisper in his ear, “You know I don’t mind if you take other women into your bed, right?~”
“Yea-…” Octus nodded absently before his mind processed what he’d heard. “Wait, what!?”
“One of my… proclivities…” Sabine explained, fighting an eager blush. “I do not mind you showing others a taste of the greatness and love I know dwells inside you. In fact… ~I encourage it~ Spread your blessed seed as far and wide as you can, Octus~”
