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Gotham's Dead End Bar Ch.65
🕑 Added 2025-04-09 14:23:29 +0000 UTC— Sean —
I’d been clotheslined. Bamboozled. Flabbergasted. Dumbfounded. Stricken and staggered. Completely and utterly. And I really should’ve seen it coming.
“STEP-BABIES, STEP-BABIES, STEP-BABIES~!” Didi squealed, practically chanting her excitement for Heaven and Earth to hear.
I knew I’d left proverbial (and rather literal) buns in the oven when I moved on from this reality. But those ‘buns’ had completely slipped my mind up until now. I had kids here — kids from the Endgame. And now that some of my Endgame peers had found me again, those kids had — obviously and rather appropriately — been brought to the reunion.
“An honor, Senior Sister, to have my child be accepted so readily by you,” Bai Xiaodan said nigh-reverentially.
“Hmmph… Acceptable, this mother supposes,” Xifeng’er sniffed slightly, finding no true displeasure to express.
The mothers… I had complicated relationships with them both.
Qian Xifeng, the Mother of Many, was a mother and a cultivator queen, and those two aspects were closely intertwined. First and foremost, she aimed to birth powerful children for her to love and raise to greatness. She wasn’t a ‘breeder’ who would throw away her spawn to simply have more. She loved and cherished each and every example of her bloodline. But she did have quite a few children to her name spread throughout the worlds and cosmos…
She always had been and always would be most concerned with expanding and spreading her lineage. With providing new life to this reality. With ensuring that herself and other noteworthy cultivators passed on their genes, traits, and legacies to another generation.
She did so to further herself. But more keenly, more importantly, she did so to further her children. The Mother of Many was the closest person this reality had to a Prime Progenitor. Her line spread deep and wide throughout this sea of worlds. Those she birthed went on to leave nigh-divine dynasties and eternal empires wherever she placed them. From the base worlds that made up reality’s roots to the countless ‘middle’ realms and even to the Endgame. She was — put crudely and most aptly — The MILF of all cultivation.
To that end, Xifeng’er saw me — for lack of a better term — as ‘prime breeding stock’. I was strong, attractive, but most importantly, proven and novel. Perfect for creating something new, something lasting, something great — a child of pure potential and Change from Conception.
I was under no illusions about her feelings for me. There was little if any romance between us. No lingering feelings — true, hard, or fond. Just Xifeng’er’s slightly strange sense of practicality. I would give her strong, beautiful, and unique children. So she extended me an invitation to dual cultivate with her for the pure purpose of procreation. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I accepted.
Bai Xiaodan, She Who Comes With Dawn and Sunset, on the other hand… She was the opposite. A potential romance never realized. We were close in the Endgame. But only ever as friends with hints of something more to be had. I liked to think I knew her well even still.
Xiaodan was darkly dashing. Deathly sexy, but pointedly, not purposefully seductive. Dark beauty came to her naturally — in her curves, in her pale, stunning features, and in the way she held herself like a stalking spider. And while everyone always focused on her beauty, she didn’t aim to seduce or tempt. She didn’t need to, didn’t need to try so hard at all. No, she would just kill you, upfront and outright.
She walked a Dao of Death — a reaper at dawn and dusk when the borders of safe reality blurred. In that way, it only made sense that she immediately took to calling Didi ‘Senior Sister’. But for as powerful and transcendent as she was — as all of us were in the Endgame — she was far from Endless on two fronts like Didi. Her Dao of Death abandoned Conception. It was part of the reason we never actually got together. She was afraid of the disappointment she thought would come when she couldn’t give me children.
I hadn’t cared much, of course. But that was the burden she bore. Only… that situation had… Changed with my essence, it seemed. I could feel it. Xiaodan had Conceived with the extra seed I’d left behind with Xifeng’er and the Mother of Many’s aid. The child with her was hers, even if Xifeng’er had carried them to term where Xiaodan’s womb couldn’t. Shame I had to move on from this reality to get us here…
Speaking of, my newfound children looked just as utterly bamboozled as I felt. Hilariously so, being hugged tightly by Death while she asserted herself as their new stepmother. Didi, of course, wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not when it came to Family. They were mine, so they would be hers. There was nothing more to be done about the matter. So said Endless Death Herself.
“Wha-! Bu-! I-! Mother?!” The boy — young man, really — sputtered, eventually settling on a confused plea to his mother.
“Mmm…” The girl — young woman, really — accepted her new situation immediately, settling comfortably into Didi’s hug. “Peaceful… Step… mother…?”
“Yes, little one. Yes~!” Didi cooed and tittered. “And you, young man! Stand still and accept my love like your half-sister!”
Immediately, my grown son obeyed. Almost competitive and most definitely familiar with the way he did so. Instead of just ‘accepting’ like his half-sister, he began to push into Didi’s embrace. It was… honestly adorable. I almost wanted to give him a prize, a trophy of some kind for how fiercely he ‘accepted’ Didi’s stepmotherly love.
“Su Chen is our Fourth Sister’s daughter through and through, as you can see,” Xifeng’er declared bluntly. “Su Xing is mine. Our son, Brother Sean. They’ve been raised as the truest of siblings. As is only proper.”
I blinked. That was a bit of a surprise. But not much of one, to be honest. Xifeng’er may have been the Mother of Many, but she treasured every child she raised. And it seemed she and Xiaodan had teamed up to raise the children in my unfortunate absence. Siblings… She was right, it was only proper. And now, I had names to match to the faces so similar to my own…
Su Chen, my daughter with Xiaodan. Su Xing, my son with Xifeng’er. They looked like siblings too, no ‘half’ coming to mind. Both of them had my hair, like loom-spun silver frames for their faces that they kept in manageable half-tails while the rest fell freely. They had my chin as well, sharply chiseled on Su Xing and finely sculpted on Su Chen. Su Chen had my stormy silver eyes, while Su Xing’s eyes were a shockingly popping icy blue, almost like the eyes of a Husky on a man.
[Su Chen]
[Su Xing]
Su Xing’s build was tall, lithe, and powerful. Su Chen was slender — much more so than her mother, but also taller — and graceful. Patterns of ink flowed across her exposed skin in intricate tattoos, from her arms to her face. But the best part came while I watched them in motion.
In Didi’s embrace, Su Chen jabbed a sharp finger into Su Xing’s side. He hissed at his sister, “Truly?! Before our venerable father?! Be dignified for once!”
“‘M always dignified…” Su Chen mumbled, smugly snuggling into Didi’s breast. “You need to loosen up, Elder Brother.”
I recognized those expressions. As if they were my own. Because they were. They quite literally were… Su Chen’s smirk was mine when I was feeling particularly amused teasing someone. And Su Xing’s glare was mine when I was frustrated but not truly angry.
The realization struck me like a blow to the gut, just viscerally fond instead of uncomfortable. They were so mine that it almost physically hurt. As did the overwhelming smile that immediately bloomed on my face. Before I knew it, I was joining Didi’s hug with gusto.
“Oh, just look at you two! Brilliant! Beautiful! Another B-word I’m too overwhelmed to come up with right now! Oh, I love you both already!”
Su Chen melted into me the moment I joined the hug, “Mmm… Father…”
“Not one of many words, are you?” I asked, chuckling.
“Not when they would waste valuable hugging time…”
“She’s infuriatingly quiet more often than not, Father,” Su Xing ‘snitched’.
“… Am not,” Su Chen poked him in the side again. “You just talk too much.”
“Never! You dare, Sister?!” My son sputtered. “I forget you’re even in the room, unlike me, whose presence is always known! That is the correct manner for exalted cultivators of our noble birth!”
My daughter stared him straight in the eye and said just one thing, “… How is your empire coming along, Elder Brother?”
Su Xing flinched and looked away, the wind taken out of his sails, “It’s… a work in progress. I fail to see why you would bring that up, Sister.”
“Because you try to talk too much and don’t just kill and conquer enough,” Su Chen deadpanned.
“Hear that, Didi~?” I asked rhetorically over the children’s heads, smiling widely. “My son admirably attempts to conquer by diplomacy, while my daughter adorably advocates for the undeniable efficiency of conquest by murder!”
“It’s always the daughters, isn’t it~? My, my, simply precious! So young~” Didi playfully tittered right back. “And already living such interesting lives~!”
Slowly — almost regretfully — we disengaged from our group hug. But really, that was only the beginning. Su Xing stood proudly with the barest hint of hesitation that sought my approval. I gave it freely, placing my hands on his shoulders and looking him over.
“Brilliant,” I praised. “Truly, you are my son.”
Just that simple acknowledgment, just that simple statement of fact had him releasing a relieved sigh. As if he hadn’t dared to hope until I said it directly. A shaky smile spread across his face and he nodded at me.
“Father,” Su Xing greeted properly. “It… It’s wonderful to finally meet you. Mother has told me many stories about you. I can already see you will live up to all of them.”
Patting him on the shoulder and returning his smile, I shifted to his sister. Su Chen just stared at me. Expectantly. Patiently. As if she would’ve waited for me a hundred years more.
“Beautiful,” I praised her just like her brother. “Truly, you are my daughter.”
Su Chen stayed silent for a moment, shooting her mother an unspoken glance. I sensed Xiaodan nod. Without warning, Su Chen rushed forward to hug and cling to me tightly. I folded her into my arms with ease and natural familiarity.
“Father…” She whispered. “Thank you… For returning, for-… for recognizing us. I look forward to knowing you…”
“Oh, you will, my girl,” I reassured. “Even after Didi and I leave, you’ll have something that will allow you to visit or contact us whenever you need. Didi loves you and your brother already, as you can tell. We won’t have a broken home or any real distance between us. I promise.”
“Don’t coddle them,” Xifeng’er chided, though I could tell it was in good faith. “They are children grown now, due to the time you’ve spent away. They have their own lives to live, their own Daos to walk.”
“Exactly why I should be coddling them,” I disagreed. “They’ve had whole childhoods without me, without their father. I’ve got to make up for lost time, no? And I’d like to see you tell Didi she can’t spoil them rotten.”
Didi nodded nonchalantly as if agreeing on dinner. Her words contrasted the tone rather jarringly, “A world will Die before I fail to spoil my new step-babies.”
Even Endgame cultivators paled when Endless Death declared-… well, Death.
“We would not deny you that right, Senior Sister,” Xiaodan quickly and deferentially said. “But the children should still Live in their own ways, should they not?”
Didi pouted, “… Fine. But we WILL set up a visitation schedule!”
Su Xing cleared his throat, “Ahem… We would welcome the chance, Honored Stepmother.”
“You’re just so, so precious, child,” Didi cooed, just about melting at the respect he showed. The Su Kids would have her eating out of their hands in no time at all, I was sure.
“Well,” Zhong Hong spoke up from the background. “That went better than I expected. Brother Sean’s new Endless wife is almost all too reasonable. Isn’t that right, Brother Ye?”
“Yes,” Liang Ye grunted halfheartedly. “How disappointing… I was looking forward to drama and comeupance for the Drunkard.”
“Hate is always a surprisingly good color on you, Liang Ye,” I casually jabbed at him. “A True Hater. It’s almost something to be proud of.”
“You know damn well it’s far from true hate,” Liang Ye grumbled. “Just eternal frustration with everything that you are, Drunkard.”
I quirked a brow, warning in my tone, “I hope that eternal frustration hasn’t extended to my children.”
Liang Ye just scoffed, “Never. What do you take me for? This Master has been a supreme and exemplary uncle.”
“Uncle Leafy is… okay…” Su Chen said softly, nonchalantly. “Too prickly with thorns… Uncle D is our favorite.”
Liang Ye clicked his tongue and sharply turned away, “Ungrateful brats…”
Bi De, on the other hand, preened with the praise, “I dote upon them, yes. Teach and advise them as well. It’s only right for the son and daughter of my brother.”
“His storied wisdom is greatly appreciated. Most helpful,” Su Xing told me. “Especially… during my current attempts at conquest and establishing my dynasty.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Big D,” I chuckled.
“A PROUD AND ERECT FELLOW, TO BE CERTAIN,” The Heavens rumbled as Long’un joined the conversation from on high.
The short silence that followed was almost profoundly comfortable. For those of us from the Endgame, it was familiar. Something we naturally fell into. I could’ve just stood with old friends and newfound children forever. So, of course, someone had to ruin it…
Rose, Shen Yu, and the others were — smartly — staying quiet and trying to make themselves unnoticed as they watched beings and masters beyond their comprehension. They were unintrusive and welcomed, even if they weren’t being addressed. But rather suddenly, we were reminded that our reunion was taking place at the center of an arena…
“This is preposterous!” Someone declared from the crowd, their voice booming impressively for this world… and still utterly losing out to Long’un above. “They offer no face to the Divine Emperor! Someone must take action! So this master shall! For the God-Emperor-!”
Just as suddenly as the master began, I snapped my hand closed as if I were squeezing a pair of lips shut. The whole world seemed to fall silent. My response echoed through the audible vacuum.
“You don’t get to steal that phrase… We don’t owe you or your Emperor anything. But since you object so viscerally, I think we’ll just have to take our Heavenly Reunion somewhere else. Congratulations. You’ve singlehandedly driven off Heavenly Visitors.”
“Jumped up mortals,” Liang Ye scowled.
“Oho~? An almost worthy death wish,” Zhong Hong smirked.
Didi beckoned with one finger. From the surrounding arena, a single old man came flying forward. To the Empire, he must’ve been a dignified and exalted master. An Imperial Realm pillar, even. That man at the peak of this world came to kneel frozen before Didi.
Despite the master’s rudeness, the Phoenix Prince moved to step forward for him. It was a noble attempt, made out of duty. For his and his father’s Empire, the Prince would even kowtow himself. Xifeng’er stopped him.
But even as she did, she was nodding proudly, “As pleasant it is to see one of my dynasties hasn’t completely fallen to ignobility, you must cease, child. Don’t let the mistakes of an arrogant citizen fall upon your rule. We shall deal with the bug as we see fit.”
The Phoenix Prince obeyed, gaping slightly, with wide eyes, at Xifeng’er. But I suppose being confronted by the nigh-divine progenitor of your royal line wasn’t an everyday occurrence… Meanwhile, the master kneeled in silent, stuck horror. And Didi just looked down at him like he was a child throwing an entirely uncalled-for tantrum.
“How disappointing… You’re lucky you waited until Sean and I had already met the children. Still, for shame. I think it’ll be a timeout for you. Sit in Purgatory and think about what you’ve done for a good long while.”
Didi passed the sentence — judge, jury, and executioner. A portal to gray nothingness opened up beneath the man. More horror bloomed on his face, practically bursting from the seams of his features. But the peak of a single world had nothing on Didi. The old master couldn’t even struggle as he was put in Didi’s timeout, forced to sit and think, and likely torture himself for a small eternity with his own stupidity.
Wiping her hands of the matter, Didi turned to me, “Now, shall we continue this reunion back home?”
“That’s what I was thinking,” I smiled back at her. “After all, Alice should meet her stepsiblings, shouldn’t she?”
Didi’s eyes lit up as that realization struck her as well, “…! What are we waiting for?! The Dead End awaits~!”
“Where are we taking these proceedings?” Bi De asked curiously.
Fondly, I answered, “Home. The home Didi and I have made together. You’re all invited, of course. A round of drinks and a story from Samsara should round out this reunion rather nicely…”
IIIII
At the end of my retirement’s first vacation, I exited the Vacay Vessel as it parked in front of the bar. A parade of Endgame masters and promising talents followed me. Bi De rode in a place of honor on my shoulder — not that I would ever try to replace his first master — and even Long’un had taken on a more manageable form to tag along. It was like the start of a joke. A group of cultivators, a mini-dragon, and a cock walk into a bar…
Gotham was… just as we’d left it. Our guests looked around at the city with interest in their eyes. Rose and Waver shuddered slightly, still not used to urban living. Shen Yu and his friends flexed their cultivation bases, trying to get a sense of the Qi here — very different from anything they were used to. I warned them all that it was best to close themselves off temporarily and let Gotham’s… everything just flow right over them. Even the Endgame masters. When it came to Gotham… well, it was best not to tempt fate at all.
We arrived back just before the Dead End’s usual opening time. Perfect timing, as far as I was concerned. I predicted the rest of the night would be… interesting~…
The Dead End itself discovered us first. Its spirit welcomed me and Didi back with much enthusiasm. Like a big ol’, building-shaped puppy.
“What an odd Home…” Bi De commented from my shoulder. “It suits you, Brother Sean.”
“A bar,” Liang Ye scoffed. “Of course, the Drunkard would live in a bar.”
“Oh, the Dead End is so much more than a bar,” I chuckled. “It’s neutral ground and a melting pot. A who’s who of this universe’s most interesting people showing up on the regular. Big D, your master found peace in family — made and found — and simple, honest living. I found mine in surrounding myself with friends and personalities and good times so I’d never have a boring moment.”
Zhong Hong hummed, “I could use some friends and good times right about now.”
“EVERYONE COULD, OLD FRIEND,” Long’un rumbled, his voice deeper than space itself even in this small, manageable form. “ALWAYS.”
“… You made this peace for yourself, Senior Brother?” Shen Yu asked, his voice surprisingly quiet and respectful, especially for him.
“Oh, yes,” Didi answered for me. “There were some bumps and dips in the path. But mostly, it went smoothly. Sean just kept the good times rolling and made sure everyone had a place at the Dead End’s bar. The rest followed naturally.”
“Peace, seized by one’s own means…” Shen Yu murmured, mostly to himself before nodding firmly. “It is only right.”
“You know, I didn’t recognize my Grandmaster at first,” Bi De said to me specifically. “Too quiet, too respectful, too stunned and out of control. But now? I can certainly see the seeds that were nurtured with age and experience.”
“To be fair,” I smirked back at the cock. “He has been suddenly thrown into a party with Heavenly Visitors from the Endgame. I suspect he is a bit too stunned to be his usual self. We’ll just have to bring it out of him throughout the night.”
Bi De agreed with a crowing chortle. I led the way to the Dead End’s door… only to return to chaos before the bar had even opened for the night.
“<Pots>! <Tup Tuo>! <Hsiugnitxe>!” Alice was shouting, her words… backward… “Dammit! Why isn’t this working?! How does Zatanna make it look so easy?!”
She was also… very much dressed in ‘The Forbidden Outfit™’. A risque leotard and fishnets like the skimpiest stage magician. Zatanna’s costume. Which meant she was borrowing that magic right now. Something Didi and I had very specifically forbidden her from doing until she was well of age. But I suppose, when the ‘rents were away, the unruly teenage daughters would play…
Alice was frantically and futilely waving her hands at Grundy. Because he was currently very much on fire. Like, almost wholly consumed by flames. Yet he was just sitting at the bar, calm as can be.
“This… is fine…”
Behind the bar, Harley and Ivy were just watching the chaos unfold. Simmy was noting everything down with diligent interest. And Ophis seemed to be curled up near the flames, putting her little hands out like Grundy was a campfire.
“Mm. Warm.”
Hecate — who could’ve put a stop to the magical fire at any point — was pointedly crossing her arms and refusing to help, “I warned her. I did. It’s not as simple as just having the Sorceress Supreme’s magic. There’s much more to Zatanna than just her admittedly powerful magic. But did she listen? No, of course not. I’m just THE Goddess of Magic. Bah! She can pull herself out of this mess.”
Harley was the first to notice our entrance, perking up instantly, “Gothboy~! Hey hey, welcome back~!”
There was a moment of pause as she noticed our guests as well, and the noble rooster perched on my shoulder. A moment later, she fell into one of her usual smirks, “Heh, nice cock~!”
“Hello, Sean,” Ivy waved. “Have a nice trip?”
Grundy waved as well — still on fire — and Ophis immediately popped up from her campfire to practically skip up to me, “Mn. Welcome home.”
I gave her the headpats she wanted without her having to say a word.
“[Purpose~!][Return!]” Simmy happily dinged, reaching out with gentle telekinetic fingers as she welcomed me back.
“Oh, Sean! Didi! And guests!” Hecate greeted us with pleased surprise, only to pause as our guests truly set in for her senses. “O-Oh my… ‘GUESTS’…”
Meanwhile, Alice just froze at the mention of our return. Slowly — very, very slowly — she turned to look at us. Her eyes were as wide as a rabbit in a trap. Her mouth opened… and closed again as she failed to find the words.
Eventually, she managed to squeak something out, “M-Mom?! D-Dad?! This-! This isn’t what it looks like!”
Didi raised a single, patented Mom Brow™, “So you’re not currently being caught redhanded in the Forbidden Outfit™?”
“Uhhhh-” Alice’s mind searched for an excuse… and found absolutely nothing. “-Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”
“At least you didn’t wear it out in public,” I shook my head, more amused than truly mad. “Damned Zatanna and her sexiness… How about you just drop the magic and we’ll call it mostly even?”
“Yup! Yes! I can do that!” Alice quickly agreed, nodding frantically. A moment later, she returned to her usual self and usual outfit, still looking at us nervously.
Didi couldn’t have that. Not at all. She opened her arms to Alice, “Now, let’s do this properly. We’re back, Alice.”
Alice went slack with relief, rushing into Didi’s open arms, “…! Welcome back, Mom. Welcome back, Dad.”
Behind us, I heard our cultivating guests begin to react. Rose exhaled in exasperation, “This all explains so, so much about Prince Sean.”
“It fits him,” Xiaodan commented.
“Sickeningly well,” Liang Ye agreed, playing up his disgust.
“The advantages of Samsara, on display in full effect,” Zhong Hong said. “Brother Sean simply knew what he wanted already and built it for himself without waste or misdirection.”
Shen Yu nodded to himself, still uncharacteristically quiet and thoughtful, “It’s a worthy result he’s worked towards here…”
“I will freely admit that I am having some trouble keeping up,” Xiao Ge said frankly.
“Aren’t we all?” Waver snorted. “I have many, many, many questions…”
“I…” The Phoenix Prince began, hesitating to voice his thoughts. “I did not know the Heavens could be so… pedestrian…?”
Baishi Lili shrugged, “When one has such power, why waste it on pointless frivolities? Personally, I wouldn’t spend a second away from my sisters and friends then, if I didn’t have to.”
Bi De bowed magnificently on my shoulder, “True enlightenment is knowing when what you have is the best you ever will. Infinite growth does not always make the little things that matter most, better. As high as we ever reach, we should always return to family and friends and Home…”
The Youngest Generation bowed back at his shared wisdom. Hecate reacted with some small surprise, “Oh, Hestia would just love this ascended rooster. He’s quite right. There will always be a special brand of magic in the small things.”
“[Purpose —> Home = Contentment]” Simmy nodded along.
Grinning at everyone getting along so well, I clapped, “Perfect, just perfect. Now, I believe some introductions are in order! First and foremost… Su Chen, Su Xing, come here, please!”
The Su Siblings stepped forward. Su Xing was nervous, I could tell, but he hid it under practiced composure. Su Chen wasn’t nervous at all. She simply stared at Alice as they came to stand across from one another.
After a long, slightly tense moment, Su Chen nodded, “… I like her.”
“Uh… thanks?” Alice nodded back. “You seem… cool, too? I like your tats.”
“Thank you,” Su Chen said, softly and flatly. “I was born with them.”
I placed a hand on each of their shoulders, “Su Chen, this is Alice. Didi and I adopted her after a spot of trouble. Alice, this is Su Chen… my daughter and your stepsister. And this is Su Xing, my son and your stepbrother.”
For the Dead End’s side of things, there was only silence for a long, processing moment. Ivy eventually broke it with a simple statement, “You know? I can see it.”
The dam burst after that, mostly from Harley. She gasped, loud and dramatic and only about half played-up, “GASP~! Mini-Gothboys~?! What a TWIST! Ya walked out to get milk on ‘em, didn’tcha~?”
“Not of my own volition,” I chuckled at Harley’s teasing. “At least, not completely. But yeah, I missed a good portion of their lives already. Nothing to it but to make up for lost time now.”
Su Xing deeply bowed to Alice, “It is a great honor and pleasure to meet another of our venerable father’s children.”
Alice genuinely jumped at the show of respect, “Wha-? Bu-? Huh?!
Suddenly, she turned on me, poking me in the chest with a finger, “Dad! You can’t just come home from vacation with a second family!”
“Your mother doesn’t seem to mind,” I shrugged.
Didi tittered behind a hand, “Oh, no, I insisted.”
The wind dropped from Alice’s sails just as suddenly as it appeared, “Hrrng… You would. And that’s, like… fine, I guess…?”
Her voice trailed off into something small. Didi was on the ball, though, wrapping Alice in a loving hug, “You’ll always be my daughter, Alice. That won’t ever change. The Family’s just continuing to grow, that’s all.”
In Didi’s arms, Alice found direction again, “Hrm… Yeah… Okay, yeah! I guess I didn’t really want to be an only child anymore, anyway. This is fine. Cool, even! I’ve got a brother now! And a sister!”
“I will be the best Elder Brother you could ask for,” Su Xing dutifully declared.
Su Chen shared a sly glance with Alice, “… He’s okay. I’ll have to teach you how to twist him around your little finger. Break through his duty and responsibility, and his Dao Heart is a soft and pliable thing, in truth.”
“S-Sister?!” Su Xing sputtered.
After that, introductions proceeded apace. My Endgame companions went first, Xifeng’er telling Alice, “Call me ‘Auntie’.”
Xiaodan nodded, “I, as well.”
Liang Ye introduced himself with a grumble, “-Feel lucky you don’t truly share the Drunkard’s genes…”
Bi De made his introduction with careful consideration, “… It seems I have a whole other childhood’s worth of gifts to give now. A challenge I will eagerly accept.”
Long’un bobbed his serpentine head in mid-air, “GOOD TIDINGS AND GOOD FORTUNE FROM THE COSMOS, LITTLE ONE.”
Zhong Hong chortled to himself, “At this point, I could use a good drink to go along with the show.”
We moved to the bar as introductions continued. Rose and Waver, the latter visibly bubbling with questions. Rose almost physically held him back from asking and asking until the night was out. Already, Hecate was taking fondly to his insatiable curiosity. Simmy as well.
“[Greetings!] [Data?]”
Waver nodded as if he’d found his people, “Yes, [Data]!”
“Oh. Oh, that can’t be good…” Rose muttered to herself.
Ophis didn’t so much introduce herself as she did focus wholly on Long’un, “… You are loud. But Quiet-Loud. Much better than other dragons. Acceptable.”
At some unspoken invitation, Long’un came to rest around Ophis’ neck like a living scarf. His voice rumbled deeply, but without disturbing Ophis’ Peace, “THESE COSMOS SHALL STRIVE TO EXCEED YOUR STANDARDS, INFINITY.”
Shen Yu and Xiao Ge went next, for once more similar in mannerism than they were different. Xiao Ge was perfectly dutiful, perfectly respectful, and perfectly inoffensive by cultivator standards. To match his sworn brother’s purposefully inobtrusive showing, Shen Yu remained appropriately cautious and thoughtful. And that just wouldn’t do at all.
As the ladies of the Soaring Heaven’s Isle introduced themselves alongside the Phoenix Prince, I poked Shen Yu’s mind with a message.
“You don’t have to keep yourself so tightly leashed. We’re all friends here, or soon will be. Are you the Rising Blade or are you not? Rediscovery your boldness, Junior Brother.”
He took heart in my assurance and encouragement. Minyan finished her introduction last with a bow, “-This young mistress greets you all. Thank you for the honor of allowing our presence.”
Then, Shen Yu smirked and interjected, “Don’t bow too low, Minyan. Why, they might mistake your intentions for something else!”
With a crack of icy thunder, she turned on him, sending a mini-blizzard that Shen Yu cut apart with a swipe of his sword hand, “Uncouth wastrel! Why don’t you bow even lower to this jade beauty as atonement?!”
Shen Yu flashed her a killing smile, “For you, Minyan? I would bow until my nose grazes the dirt. Without shame! Only raising my head when you kneel before me and cup my cheeks with grace and mercy!”
TCH! Minyan turned away. Shen Yu didn’t see it, but those of us on that side witnessed her face flash bright red for the briefest of moments.
Harley wore a Cheshire Cat’s grin, “Oh, I’m loving the cultural differences already~! Nice to meetcha all~! I’m Harley and this is Ivy. Let us be the first to welcome you to Gotham~! You’re gonna love and hate it here! Everyone does!”
“Speaking of, how has business been while we were gone?” I asked.
“Ugh, just awful~…” Harley put on a dramatic groan. “Slow and offensively uneventful!”
“You and Didi are essential parts of the Dead End, Sean,” Ivy elaborated. “We missed you. Some of the regulars have still shown up, but most seem to be holding off until your return.”
“Well, we’ll just have to change that,” I considered. “Announce that we’re back so tonight can get properly busy like usual. And I think I know just the way to do so.”
Harley perked up at that, “Yeah~? Gothboy chaos~?”
“I think you meant to say: ‘business as usual’,” Ivy fondly rolled her eyes.
“Well~…” I grinned. “I did promise to bring back gifts and souvenirs…”
“Gifts?” Harley lit up at the prospect. Then, she gasped, “Presents~! Gothboy Santa Claus~!”
“The jolly old saint exists here, too?” Bi De asked, cocking his head with interest. “We honored him on the Fa Ram many a time.”
“C’mon, Dad, don’t keep us in suspense,” Alice urged.
“Alright, alright,” I chuckled and conceded. “I guess I’ll start with everyone here first. Alice, these are for you. Harley, go buck wild with this one. Ivy, I think you’ll like these. Grundy, my friend. Hecate, don’t study yourself stupid with this. Ophis, the same goes for you, don’t eat yourself sick. And for Simmy, of course… [DATA]”
Simmy chimed and dinged and whooped as [DATA] from the cultivation reality was sent straight to her Shard. It was quite a bit of information — on Qi, on cultivation itself, and on the general metaphysics of ever-striving for power and enlightenment. That should keep her busy-… well, for at least a day or two.
Ophis’ gift came in the form of a ‘Sweets Tax’. A great many colorful ‘hard candies’… Only, they weren’t actually candies. They were ascending cultivation resources, pills that could lift a mortal to immortality. The Youngest Generation choked slightly, almost spitting blood to see me so casually handing out priceless pills as candy. But Ophis loved them, casually popping a Rising Earth Pill into her mouth and humming with satisfaction.
To Hecate, I gave the gift of magic. What else? It was an example of her domain that she hadn’t seen before. Because while cultivators didn’t quite term anything they did as ‘magic’… Qi Formations were startlingly close to traditionally structured magic. They could be spells, wards, rituals, or just about anything else one imagined. The difference in terminology was purely semantic but the new results and methodologies were something I knew Hecate would enjoy.
As expected, she happily clutched my handwritten scroll concerning everything I remembered about Qi Formations to her chest, looking bare moments away from forgoing everything else to study it. ‘Locking herself in closed cultivation,’ as a cultivator might put it.
Grundy got a cultivation manual. Mostly because the thought of the hulking undead man earnestly cultivating amused me. But also because it suited him. His condition was already one of immortality. How far could he take things if he began to take his immortality and enlightenment into his own hands?
Then came Ivy. I handed over what looked like a greenhouse in a snow globe with a gentle touch. It was more than that, of course. Magical fuckery made it possible to enter and exit the snow globe greenhouse at will. And inside? Ivy would find a whole new world of flora — Qi-infused flora — to explore and nurture to her heart’s content. The realization seemed to hit her when her powers reached into the greenhouse dimension and connected to all of the new plants there. Immediately she gasped, covering her mouth while happily sparkling tears welled up in her eyes.
Harley’s gift was probably the simplest. Just a big, fuck-off hammer to match her preferred weapon. Bitches love hammers. And cannons. Luckily, Harley’s new weapon was both. The shaft was polished Spirit Beast bone, and a fortified crucible of fire Qi sat within the head. Harley’s grin bloomed wide and manic, and I immediately knew I’d unleashed something special upon Gotham.
Finally, for my ‘youngest’ adopted daughter, I gave Alice a set of cultivator robes. Magically tailored to fit her out of silk soft enough to sleep in yet strong enough to survive a nuclear blast with all of the wearer’s fleshy bits untoasted. Most importantly, though, I made sure they still fit Alice’s usual style. Everything was black and goth, so though it might be a new look for her, it wasn’t a completely foreign one.
Xiao Ge’s perfect composure broke at my gifts, “B-By the Heavens and the Earth…”
“Yes,” Zhong Hong drawled. “Simple ‘gifts’ that could lift whole worlds to another echelon.”
“That does sound like the Prince Sean I’ve come to know,” Rose considered aloud.
“Those pills alone could found a whole new Empire,” The Prince stated with quiet awe.
Ophis proceeded to defy even my expectations. She paused mid-sweet to offer one to Long’un around her neck. The Cosmic Dragon in mini-scarf-form graciously accepted, “HMM. THEY ARE SURPRISINGLY PLEASANT AS CANDIES…”
“Truly, it is the Formation Scroll that is the most valuable,” Xiaodan pointed out.
“Curated guidance and lessons from a man who defied the Heavens,” Minyan nodded in dumbfounded agreement.
“Hecate is already from the Heavens,” I excused with a wave. “So it’s only fair. I wouldn’t give her anything that I didn’t think was worth her time.”
“It’s an intriguing weapon,” Shen Yu told Harley. “Would you be interested in trading pointers, Jester of Gotham?”
“Now, Harley may be surprisingly strong, but you’re still a cultivator, Shen Yu,” Didi gently reminded. “You’d likely squash her flat.”
“Never count me outta tha’ fight~!” Harley shot back. “Cultivator, Schmultivator~! Let’s see him stand up to my new baby’s backshots~!”
“Terrible, just terrible phrasing,” Ivy deadpanned.
All the while, since Simmy’s gift, Waver seemed to have gotten himself stuck in a profound awakening and breakthrough. Before everyone’s eyes, he rose into the Spiritual Realm and another stage beyond. But his face as he did was comical, with quite literal overwhelmed swirls in his eyes.
“O-O-Ohhhhh~… [DATA]…”
“He takes… to Simmy’s language… rather well,” Grundy slowly pointed out.
“Perhaps a little too well,” I joked. “Rose? You wanna see if a kiss will snap him out of things?”
Rose genuinely blushed, “I-If I must…”
By some shared agreement, we all turned away to give them a bit of privacy. Then, Ivy asked, “So… now what? That was hardly much of an announcement for your return, Sean.”
I grinned, “Oh, I’ve still got gifts to give. What’s ‘next’ is already happening as we speak: a round of surprise presents delivered by portals at the best and worst possible times and places. There won’t be any question as to who’s playing spontaneous Secret Santa, I’m sure. We’ll get the Dead End popping tonight in no time at all~…”
“Thank Bat-Jesus~!” Harley exclaimed to the Heavens. “Back to drinks and stories and chaos~! As it SHOULD be~!”
IIIII
[AN: This is essentially the end of the first vacation arc. I think I’ve learned a lot from it. I’ll certainly be doing things a bit differently (and hopefully better) for the next one. Nothing is set in stone for that next arc yet, but I’m kinda thinking ‘Bat-Fam in RWBY with Professor Sean and Didi’… That won’t happen immediately, though. I’m hoping to get 2-3 bar stories and maybe a DC side plot before the next vacation.
The next chapter is going to be one of the stories, with the Endgame guests sticking around for it. I think I’ve found a world that’s well-tailored to their inclusion, but I’ll need to do a good bit of research beforehand since I’m not entirely familiar with it. That research shouldn’t disrupt my usual writing pace, especially since the world is from a webcomic I can read at my own pace. So next time… we’ll be dipping our toes into the city of Throne and the world of Kill 6 Billion Demons. Don’t worry if you don’t know the setting. I’ll be doing everything I can to keep it very beginner-friendly (made easier by the fact that I’m new to the setting as well lol) :]
IIIII
Bonus Pics (sauce below)
Comments
SacredLoneWolf
Simply I love this series ❤️
Drake Serr
Gods, this has got to be one of my favorite stories and I am always happy to see a new chapter.
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, love how you wrote this and I am excited to see what you come up with next. Stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
