toonbat
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Time to vote! 2021 Sep-Oct event
🕑 Added 2021-11-02 05:23:43 +0000 UTCOkay! So it's time to cast your vote on what you think Spike whispered to Applejack. I got a lot of suggestions for this one, and I'm happy to say they're pretty much all donkeyshit horrible.
Now choose!
1. "I ask only for you to allow thou handsome dragon squire Spike to consume thine posterior as if from the bounty of one's grocer".
2. Riding motorcycles on the moon while fighting pirates over the ark of the covenant.
3. For both of them to run away together, after ditching all of their clothes.
4. To take a long ride in elaborate shibari through public in a show that Lady Rarity is truly willing to absolve herself of wealth for the betterment of the working class, ending with the punishment of an apple-themed Nyotaimori feast to a hungry dragon!
5. I'm just picturing plenty of rope that Applejack has used many times, a blindfold to add some thrill, and a "bad dragon" harness attachment. *wink wink nudge nudge*
6. "Refine my mane to match yours in style, though never could it match in total beauty, and then convince Spike, that paragon of masculinity, to rut both of us until Apollo's rays light upon our upthrust rumps."
7. "... keep an open mind about my husband, these words are his works, but he's just gets so doggone shy when he sees you, shining like the full moon, clad in a dress as colorful as a geranium. We both become smitten for you."
8. "to let my drake friend join us in our merry consummation of love"
9. "I ask only for you to gently run your gloved hand over my scales, to let my tempered claws gently caress the curvature of your own body, and to warm you on those chilly nights using the heat of fiery bre-okay Spike WTF?!"
10. “Remove thy dress, spread your legs, and let me polish your pearl and feast from your treasure until I am soaked by your radiance.”
11. Accept thine father into thine feminine core, where’pon eventual success wouldst have thee fruitful of thine union. Accept, I beseech, mine affections, both carnal and mine most noble loves. For thou art mine altar ’pon which I offer mine sacrifices of adoration. Thou art mine grove wherein I find rest and tranquility. Without you wealth is but tarnished dross. Without you, any feast ’pon mine palate, tastes as delicious as the Terra wherein thine hooves trod. Without you, joy is seized and tortured into that bitterest wine of misery.
12. “spend one night of deep passionate lovemaking with my draconic gentleman friend, before we run away together forever!”
13. “admit, that forsooth, thee and I are little but mammals, so let us commence like they commence on the Discovery Channel.”
14. I ask only for you to gimme two cans of soda.
I'm throwing a few suggestions of my own, as usual. Sorry/You're welcome for me not going all prosey with them:
15. Be blindfolded while Applejack (probably) eats ice cream off her bosom.
16. Perform the traditional dragon mating dance wearing only gemstones
17. Visit the secret glory hol at the palace water closet and service the first (forked?) shaft that shows up together.
18. Enlist in a dragon hoard. I mean, even 16th century nobility needs job security.
19. Midnight skinny-dipping in the forest spring.
20. Stand flustered in the sidelines as Applejack and Spike sword-duel for her favor. Expect lots of clothing getting sliced off, and a prolonged dramatic fake death scene by Spike where he wishes them both happiness.
Have fun!
Comments
Tortoise
One vote for number 6
toonbat
The drawing is a reference to the story of Cyrano de Bergerac. In the original story, Cyrano is a talented poet (and swordsman, and just about everything else), but is physically unattractive. Thus, despite his talents, he can't bring himself to court the beautiful Roxana. Things get more complicated when his friend Christian goes to him for help. Christian is handsome, but clumsy with words, thus having the opposite problem to Cyrano, and he too has a crush on Roxana, not knowing Cyrano does too. Cyrano agrees to help him court Roxana, whispering prosey lines of dialogue to Christian while hiding from Roxana, thus confessing his love to her by proxy.
sheq2
Is there any further context? Was confused for a minute about what Spike whispering had to do with Applejack kneeling; or what the various pronouns referred to. Edit: That said, 13. It's an older reference, but it still checks out.
