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Prompt of the Month - September
🕑 Added 2020-09-30 15:20:13 +0000 UTCDave was your everyday person. He held a nine-to-five job working as an accountant, he owned a car that he quite enjoyed tinkering with, liked watching bad movies with his friends and, on occasion, enjoyed the odd opportunity to get completely hammered. His main pastimes were those where he could express himself creatively, he adored cooking and his biggest dream was to one day be able to splurge out on a great big weeklong trip to Paris, staying in the most expensive of hotels and eating only the finest of foods. He had plenty of friends, most of which he still wouldn’t trust to drive his car anywhere, and enjoyed chatting about nothing in particular for long periods of time; in fact, one of the things he and his mates did in college was precisely that, sit around in a circle and discuss things of absolutely no consequence until they were all too tired and remembered it was time to sleep. A monotonous existence that he heavily valued.
He had also recently moved in with someone… or the other way around, really. And this someone made all the above irrelevant.
The two cats meant via a third-party, if one could call it that; one day, Dave was going through his email inbox and happened to catch something that the spam filter hadn’t, some random message about how if he didn’t share it with a certain number of people then he’d be visited by something or other, he wasn’t paying attention. The feline was far more annoyed that such a message even got through to begin with; usually meant something was wrong with either his computer or email service, and neither were good options. It was only much later, after they went to bed, that they realized just how wrong they were.
Normally, his nights were just as uneventful as the rest of his life was, and that’s exactly how he liked them. He went to bed, he closed his eyes, and a few seconds later he was awake and it was the next day. Very rarely did he dream, and whenever he did it was always something he never remembered just ten minutes past waking back up. That night, however, he was beset by visions of such lucidity that he began wondering just what exactly was in those burritos he’d eaten for dinner; he would wake up, walk around the house trying to find something to drink, only to figure out he was still asleep when something absurd happened, all while the overbearing sensation that he was being watched pressed itself against the back of his skull and neck. He lost count of how many layers he had gone through, left with nothing but the all-consuming fear that he would never wake up, that this was it, and he’d spend the rest of his days alone in some hospital bed, hooked up to a machine that would only prolong his suffering…
… and then he woke up.
Took a bit before he accepted this as fact, especially after what felt like days of traversing an impossible dreamscape. He pinched himself, held his nose shut and even went so far as to punch himself (lightly) just to be triple sure that he was, in fact, awake. But what really sealed the deal, oddly enough, was the person he just then realized was in the room. The other cat, a calico, was sitting on a chair by the door, looking away from him and drumming his fingers on his legs. His tail hung lazily by his side and his whiskers were so long as to be nearly comical, but this was somewhat mitigated by how worried they looked; it was only after Dave stared at him for a while that the other feline reacted at all, his eyes widening before he jumped to his feet like a spring.
“Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!” they kept repeating, looking so terrified that Dave was actually more concerned than he was scared for the sudden intrusion in his house, “I’m so sorry for everything! It wasn’t meant to happen to like this, I didn’t know this was how you people dealt with it! I swear I didn’t want to give you nightmares, listen, I’ll make it up to you alright? Just let me know whatever you want and I can make it happen, I swear! Ju-”
The cat fell quiet when Dave lifted a single finger. There were so many things the owner of that house wanted to ask of his invader that they all coalesced into the single, rudest thing that could possibly come out of his lips:
“Who the fuck are you, and why are you in my house?”
“Oh,” the other feline replied, shrinking back, “I… I-I suppose I deserved that. Listen, I understand that things seem a bit weird now, and I know they’re just going to sound even worse when I’m done explaining myself, so please, excuse me while I make things a lot simpler. Again, sorry!”
Dave’s body locked up immediately after the other cat was done talking, every muscle and tendon in his body turning rigid and preventing him from even doing something as simple as turning his head. He saw the other cat approach him and carefully extend one of his hands, reaching for the forehead of the one he’d just somehow petrified. In the instant their palm met his forehead, however, things made sense. A flood of information poured into him, so much so that Dave feared that his cup was about to run over from how much it was being made to hold; he saw realities, universes, metaverses and more, clustered together and thrust apart, timelines and possibilities collapsing into singular points before exploding outwards into even more potentialities, all of it rushing in every direction and a single one at the same time, all leading to one thing, one entity, one person, one question, one answer: that cat.
Their bodies parted and, just as suddenly as they had started, the visions stopped, leaving the two of them alone with their thoughts. Dave was convinced he was still dreaming, because there was no way that thing he was seeing could be real; to accept such a reality would be to reevaluate every belief he ever thought he had in his life, and then to smash them apart, reform them, and repeat the process until he reached a semi-accurate approximation of the revelation he was just given. He stared at the other feline convinced that he was going to wake up… but didn’t. Instead, the two waited in silence for the awkwardness to build up, all while Dave’s “guest” looked ever more embarrassed to be there.
“I’m sorry, I don’t… t-this is my first time coming down, you see?” he excused himself, “I’ve never tried to lower myself to this level of existence before, so I understand if it takes some time before you understand what you just saw. I can guarantee you though, I’m not here to give you a noble quest, or a spiritual awakening, or anything of the sort! Learned my lesson the hard way with those” - he coughed - “I’m just here ‘cuz I saw you, and I was really thinking if we couldn’t just… y-you know, spend some time together and maybe hang out, ‘cuz I was watching you for a while and I couldn’t help but notice you were… kinda…”
There was a word stuck in that man’s (?) throat, and whatever it was, it was leaving him so red that it was almost adorable; probably a synonym for what he wanted to say. Dave could hardly believe anything he was experiencing, so much so that one of his hands was now on full-time pinching duty, the cat hoping beyond hope that he would break through the veil of illusions and come back to reality any second now. Instead, the blush on the other cat just kept getting deeper, until finally he could take it no longer and blurted out what he wanted to say all along:
“I think you’re really cute, alright?!” - the poor thing whimpered so much after the reveal that it led to Dave feeling even more awkward than he already was - “So I was thinking maybe we could hang out, so where it goes, and if you don’t like it then I’d just… y-you know, be on my way and try my luck elsewhere. Urgh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that!”
“No, no, it’s fine!” Dave interjected, “Just… sit down. Let’s chat.”
Chat was certainly a word, though what they shared was something more akin to a one-sided confession, as the god-apparent continuously reinforced the notion that he was there because he’d been meaning to speak to Dave for “quite a while”, which according to them meant “so many universes that time had to be rewound just to be able to count all the seconds before they ran out,” a concept that left the earthly cat feeling so dizzy he practically wished he was still asleep. Whether it be thanks to his still-present belief that it was all just a big, vivid hallucination, or perhaps thanks to having a small portion of the sum total of the knowledge held by that creature beamed directly into brain, Dave nonetheless found it a lot easier to accept this new reality than he figured he should; enough that, by the time the other feline was done, all he could think to do was offer them breakfast and then walk down the stairs with him in tow.
His new date-to-be introduced himself as Joel, which he insisted was actually an abbreviation for his full, himself-given name, which was utterly unpronounceable with a mortal tongue. He explained away his rather formal attire with his complete lack of understanding of what constituted a fashion sense, and offered to mimic the pajamas that Dave was wearing before the latter hastily told him that dress shirts were perfectly fine, please and thank you.
Pancakes had never been so awkward before, but at least things began to mellow out once Joel began to eat. He informed Dave that he never had the pleasure of experiencing anything like that; being a divine creature by birth, he was sustained purely on the “very energies of creation”, so the concept of having circular pieces of dough with syrup on top was entirely novel to him. Dave asked why exactly Joel knew he existed but seemed wholly ignorant of everything else around him; the supposed god’s response was to blush brighter and lower his gaze, before sheepishly admitting that he was more focused on paying attention to how cute he was than anything else more useful. He still promised to learn though; now that he was certain Dave wouldn’t just kick him out the door, he could take all the time in the world to get up to speed on its customs. Quite literally so, as the resident cat learned; all he had to do was blink and suddenly Joel was wearing something completely different and suggesting a few more pancake recipes they could try, while also commenting on something he saw on the morning papers.
It was all just so unbelievable that Dave had a hard time accepting it, even after the hours went by and his day off was starting to look like it was going to be one long lucid dream. Joel insisted the two of them do something together, maybe play some board games or watch a bad movie (“You love those!”), but the mortal feline was far too confused by everything to accept any offers. He had a ton of questions left to answer, and they weighed down on his shoulders so much that he felt like he was going to collapse at any moment. Joel seemed to pick up on this after enough time trying to excitedly get him to go along with his ideas, seeing as he simmered down and offered to “inject” more information directly into his head. Dave refused, insisting on learning things the old-fashioned way, just so he’d have time to process them.
Acceptance came slowly, and even then it always carried with it no end of doubts, second guesses and downright disbelief. The idea that a creature like that thing would even be able to comprehend things on a mortal level was already preposterous, let alone that it would ever decide to deliberately lower itself to a level like that purely so it could interact with someone like him of all people; if it had happened to someone with a marginally more interesting lifestyle, then sure, but why him? He was one of the most boring people he knew and he actually took pride in that; what was the king of all meta-reality doing trying to flirt with him?
For his part, Joel tried to explain himself, but it seemed to be the only thing he remained consistently unable to do. Any time he tried he always looked lost for words, unable to successfully articulate the full breadth of his feelings for the other cat. This was, to some degree, quite endearing to Dave, who found the constant, flustered attempts at explaining his own sexual attraction to be one of the unquestioningly positive elements about the god-cat; in between his penchant for reading thoughts and not quite understanding when he shouldn’t try to make people’s wishes come true, that simple, quintessentially mortal inability to spit it out made him… relatable, at least as far as a divine creature could ever be. Still, this didn’t mean that the two were without strife in their everyday lives; while both felines were perfectly content in coexisting (with Dave more or less resigning himself to this new reality, still somewhat convinced he was “due” to wake up at any second), it was Joel’s constant intrusiveness upon others that began to spark the first few arguments between the prospective odd couple.
The divine entity that was the calico had taken a shining to exploring the concept of sexuality from a mortal standpoint. As he put it, he himself had no real idea what it all meant; even his own appearance as a male cat was chosen more as a reflection of Dave than any personal choice, as his own, ‘true’ form would most likely be beyond a mortal brain’s capacity to even remotely understand. “If you gazed upon me in my full glory,” he would say, “your brain would collapse into a black hole from the ungodly amount of information it would be forced to process.” This was not a threat, but a mere observation; Joel truly did mean it when he imposed that limit in their relationship, steadfastly refusing to show his lover-to-be just what he himself truly looked like. It made for a confusing double standard, seeing as he was perfectly fine with injecting perfect perspective of reality into Dave, but he insisted that simply giving someone a new way of looking at things was “different,” whatever that meant.
Thus, Joel found the very concept of sexuality to be quite novel, as he had never had a body that could experience it in the first place. Along with it came a variety of urges and desires he didn’t know were possible, desires that he had no idea how to verbalize adequately, much less mediate or keep in check. The first sign something was wrong was when he looked at a random passer-by on the street, one day when both of them were out buying groceries, and the man randomly, and quite spontaneously, developed a large pair of breasts. They weren’t even modest, with the full bust covering a significant chunk of his chest and being very clearly stuffed to bursting, judging from the amount of milk that came pouring out. Joel observed the process attentively, even creating a notebook and pen from thin air before they were promptly slapped away by the other cat, who dragged him as far away from the scene, and gathering crowd, as possible.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Dave hissed at him, watching as the poor guy was stunned looking at his sudden pair of mounds, “You can’t just go around giving people tits!”
“But he wanted them, though,” was the god’s only defense, looking entirely sincere in his sheepishness, “I was looking through his thoughts and I noticed he was thinking about how great it’d be to be a busty-”
“Listen, I don’t care, ok?! You can’t just go around fulfilling people’s sexual fantasies without at least warning them first! That’s not cool!”
“... why though?”
“Ok, what if I decided to do something to you that would irrevocably change the way you existed without consulting you first or securing your permission? How would you like it?”
The calico considered the proposition for a few moments, and Dave was genuinely scared that he might think up the dreaded “Well, if they enjoyed it…” excuse. It wasn’t so much the implications of it (though were they horrific), but more so the sudden realization that he had an uncontrollable deity living in his house, who could and would alter reality to their whim whenever they felt like someone else mildly wanted that to happen. What was worse, they might just decide that because someone’s fantasies involved a third party, then it’d be fine to change them rather than the original person!
Thankfully, however, no such dreadful conclusions were reached; Joel’s face turned towards the ground and the suddenly-busty man returned to normal just a few seconds later, with the calico muttering something about having gained a new perspective on mortalkind. Dave wasn’t sure this would stick, but at least it was a step in the right direction; assuming that the god-cat remained like that, then things could be… managed.
Instead, it appeared the calico took his conclusions and began working through them in a completely opposite direction. One day, as Dave was returning home, he noticed an unfamiliar car sitting in their driveway. He wondered just who exactly could’ve made a courtesy call, as he wasn’t expecting any guests… nor was he ready for the sight that met him when he came into the living room. He should’ve expected something of the sort, given the types of noises he was hearing, but he really could never have guessed the extent to which his new roommate would go in order to explore the realms of arousal.
Dave’s mailwoman was someone who he, though not particularly close to, was still reasonably well acquainted with. They’d exchanged a few words whenever they met, and while they could hardly be called friends, they were still on friendly terms at least. They never discussed anything of any consequence, much less their hidden kinks, which made her transformation all the more shocking and thoroughly paradigm-shifting for the mortal cat; Sandra was always a beanpole, the only part of her body that carried any semblance of heavy mass being her legs, courtesy of them running the same mail route every day. She occasionally joked about going on an anti-diet, but nothing else. Now, however, Dave would be hard-pressed to find any part of her that wasn’t excessively filled out, to the point where her entire body appeared to be in constant motion; from her colossal breasts, easily about as tall if not even taller than she herself was, to an ass of equally insane proportions that pressed her comparatively tiny torso against her bust, trapping the poor thing between the two, passing by a pair of flared hips and meaty thighs that only served to highlight the obscenity of her new proportions. Her face was practically invisible, covered almost completely by a pair of lips so grossly overinflated that the poor thing had trouble coming up with even the most basic of sounds, while her engorged nipples appeared to be in full flow, milk firing out of them and making a mess of the upholstery and carpet. While he couldn’t see it, Dave could only imagine her lower mound was equally oversized.
It was.
Next to it all was Joel, sitting on a chair away from the blasts of cream erupting from the two udders, scratching his chin with one hand and noting down his observations on a notebook with the other. From his expression, he was clearly enjoying himself, though it seemed to be more akin to a scientist looking at some really good data than anything more carnal. How exactly his meatsuit wasn’t reacting to the sight at all was impressive, given that Dave’s face was already scarlet and he wasn’t even attracted to the features on full display there. It was impossible not to feel some degree of arousal at something so obscenely self-indulgent as what the mailwoman was going through, doubly so if one considered that it could very well be self-inflicted; the parked car, the lack of a uniform anywhere, the way she was openly begging for more… could it be that she met the calico when Dave was out of the house and the cat-god convinced her to show up later so he could help her indulge? If so, was she aware of his true nature? There were so many questions that the scenario raised, the mortal feline could only look at the divine one, raise both hands in the air and put on the most quizzical expression he could find within himself.
“Oh, this?” Joel spoke up, somehow perfectly audible over the commotion of moaning, begging and sloshing, “I met Sandra a couple of hours ago and she suggested we should hook up. I didn’t really know what to do, so I kinda just… told her?”
“You told h-” - the noises were really hard to ignore, and a quick gesture was all that Joel needed to make them go away, making for an odd scene where it felt like Sandra had just been placed on mute - “you told her what you told me then?”
“Did the mind injection thing when she didn’t believe it. Then I asked what people did when they hooked up.”
“Wait, this was her idea?” Dave blurted out incredulously.
“Well, yeah,” Joel replied matter-of-factly, as if the question itself had been confusing, “you told me never to do it if the other person didn’t give me permission, and she suggested I should use my powers to make her like this, so I figured that was alright. I-is that not ok?”
In all honesty, Dave wanted to say that it wasn’t ok, purely because of the degree of change being wrought there. Joel, however, seemed entirely sincere in his confession, which would make Sandra’s case fall under the age-old category of “be careful what you wish for.” Fact of the matter was, the whole thing was just too much to take in, a moral dilemma that the cat would rather not have to address rather than be forced to accept it as part of his everyday life.
“Is it reversible?” he finally asked.
“Well of course, you know me,” Joel chuckled, “I can just snap my fingers and make her go back to normal!”
“Then do so, please.”
The god-cat raised his hand, but suddenly looked behind him, to where Sandra had suddenly turned her head towards the two. Though neither of them could hear her, she was very clearly shaking her head and mouthing the word “no” over and over again, making it patently obvious what her thoughts on the matter were. Joel looked back to his partner, looking more confused than ever, fingers ready to snap but his mind oh-so confused over what to do next. Dave wasn’t any better, being mostly at a loss for words himself as to what to do, say or even so much as think in a situation like that. Sandra clearly wanted it, she sought it out herself; but what about… well, everything? Her life, her job, her ability to function like a regular person? Was she to throw it all out just for the sake of fulfilling a sexual fantasy?
“You know, I can just fix that,” Joel interjected, knowing exactly what the other feline was thinking, “it’d be child’s play to make it so she won’t have to worry about anything, not even house payments. Think of it as a little slice of heaven on Earth!”
“That raises so many moral implications that I literally have no idea where to start,” Dave sighed, finally giving up entirely, “but you know what? Fine. Go ahead and do it. Clearly I’m the odd one out here.”
There was a momentary sadness whereby the god-cat clearly didn’t know how to react to the sudden bout of existential despair on the part of his chosen partner, which was quickly extinguished the moment that he allowed Sandra to make noise again, filling the entire house with the sort of debauched sounds that were far more characteristic of places of more ill repute than theirs. The mortal feline, for his part, chose to simply walk away and into the kitchen, figuring that it’d be best to just accept this as his new normal; gone were the days where he could expect to have a quiet night at home, replaced by someone moaning themselves hoarse as their body was bloated to the point of absurdity by their own twisted desires. It was so far removed from anything resembling sanity that he was once more genuinely convinced that all of that was just a dream, and he’d be waking up at any second.
But he didn’t. In fact, not only did he not wake up, the ‘dream’ only seemed to be getting deeper the longer it went on; first it was Sandra, then it was the UPS delivery man, and next it was an endless series of supplicants, eager volunteers and the occasional doomsayers who were attracted to all the stories being spread around about the “miracle healer” making everyone’s fantasies come to life. It’d be disingenuous of Dave to claim it was anything but horrendously difficult to get through, especially at first; that was his house that Joel had turned into his own private temple, without even asking first as well, making for some awkward moments when he had to go downstairs to fetch something from the fridge and ended up seeing that would make him blush heavily enough to count as an organic lamp. As the days went on, and the parade of lewdsters continued to grow in both intensity and number, the feline genuinely began wondering if he wasn’t cursed to live out some sort of nightmare existence, forever trapped inside of a dream that never ended, only to have to slowly confront himself with the reality of the situation: it was all happening, it was all taking place in his house, and he had a perverse sex god living under his roof.
The epiphany came slower than a snail, mostly thanks to his own subconscious mind deliberately trying to keep it from being seen for as long as possible, fearing it would completely break Dave and put him in the same kind of catatonic state that most people were left in after a “consultation” with Joel in their living room-cum-office space. It left the mortal cat feeling slightly confused as to why anyone would ever want to be left like that, doubly so when he convinced himself that it truly was above board and everyone there wanted to be transformed into those forms. Being a rather drab individual himself, his concept of a good time involved a bottle of lotion and a raunchy movie, maybe even a couple of smooches out in the distant future once he figured out how that whole “romance” thing was supposed to work; to see people he knew, people who he assumed to be just as average as himself, turn themselves into… well, best not slap descriptors on them or else they might jiggle too hard; still, the experience and realization were difficult to process, making it less of a moment of insight and more a gradual awakening to what was his new way of being.
And truth be told? It wasn’t all that bad. Once he got through the initial shock and figured out a way of ignoring the moaning by humming very loudly, he even went so far as to suggest that Joel should try and put a price tag on his services, now that he was so sought after; not everyone was left in the same insensate a state as Sandra, with many instead choosing to keep their conscious selves intact while still carrying around assets of rather large proportions. The cat-god, however, was adamant that he would do no such thing, especially not after already going through so many people for free.
“I use my powers for the betterment of all mortal kind!” he proclaimed, looking far less dignified than he could be, considering one hand was on a rabbit who asked to develop three extra rows of floor-dragging breasts, “I refuse to charge anyone anything! I’ve even denied tips!”
“Why though?” Dave asked him, no longer able to muster up the energy to sound annoyed at anything, “Could’ve helped with the repairs around the house.”
The look of absolute confusion that Joel gave him when he uttered those words left even the by-now-numbed Dave feeling like he’d done something terribly stupid, with the blush returning to his cheeks, if only for a few seconds. The god-cat didn’t even bother to point out the obvious, instead returning to his faithful customer and asking them to tell them when to stop (she didn’t). The divine entity’s approach to his not-business venture had shifted considerably as it went on, with him no longer being the same sheepish, exceedingly awkward little thing that once considered giving a man a pair of breasts to be something worth apologizing over. It seemed as if this thing, this sexuality that mortals so craved and adored, had taken center stage in his mind, a calling that he had completely missed over his countless aeons of existence. He spoke at length about the beauty of it, the “craft” of flesh, to the point where it got legitimately creepy at points… right before it became unbearably arousing. Joel seemed to know exactly what to say to make his roommate hot and bothered with just a handful of words, and it didn’t take long before Dave realized that he was doing so on purpose; whether or not the god-cat was keeping his promise not to poke into his head was meaningless when his mortal partner could be read like an open book, resulting in long, drawn-out teasing sessions where the deity would speak, his roomie would listen, and then they both had to go change underwear.
This was his life now. And in the middle of it all, a continuous influx of supplicants come to take advantage of a merciful god, whose skills in the molding of bodies were quick to be known far and wide. There was no actual worship though, Joel himself made sure of it; he maintained that he was only there because he wanted to enjoy himself and make people feel happier with their physical bodies, not demand spiritual adulation or, himself forbid, physical one. No temples, no tributes, no nothing; just a few kind words before the “intervention,” as he called it, and then the next customer over. It became routine for the two of them, so much so that Dave eventually demanded that his partner start establishing business hours rather than being constantly open; even if the cat god could clean up with a snap of his fingers, that didn’t make the experience of his clients any less loud, and there was still boring office work that had to be done. Curiously, this also allowed the two of them to start planning more activities that they could do together, something that Dave himself insisted, at great expense to his credibility, was purely coincidental.
Joel went along, knowing as well as he did that there were no such things as coincidences when it came to him. His newfound confidence even allowed him to play along with the charade, spice it up in fact, by playing into the role of oblivious object of affection that his “friend” clearly wanted him to play. It was cute, in a way, to see Dave blossom into a creature that could understand romance, doubly so when it came on the tail end of seeing the absolute ‘worst’ that unbridled lust could do. Sure, there was a lot of stumbling… a lot of stumbling, but he was getting there. The first few days were the most awkward, when the cat had to try and pretend he wasn’t trying to get as close to the divine calico as possible, even coming up with ludicrous excuses such as “Sorry, I tripped” or “There was something in your hair”. It did leave Joel feeling slightly confused as to where the sudden lack of social skills was coming from, though if he had to guess, it was probably some hitherto-unknown mental process that sapped mortals of their ability to think properly whenever there was anything more than base-level sexual infatuation at play. An interesting phenomenon, and one that he’d have to investigate further.
As for Dave, the slow realization that he may possibly, potentially have some sort of feelings for his newest roommate was a painful one, filled with pitfalls and so many mental traps that it quickly stopped being funny and dove straight down the edge into just depressing. He didn’t know why it was so hard to admit it, especially given the circumstances in which the two had met and developed most of their relationship; if he could stare that level of obscene self-indulgence in the face and not flinch anymore, why couldn’t he just look Joel in those beautiful blue eyes and tell him he felt something more for him? Oh, he had it bad and he knew it; the awareness didn’t make it any better, leaving him feeling like he was being constantly bombarded with reminders that he was officially the most awkward person in the room whenever Joel happened to walk in.
This dance carried on for so long that the calico began to wonder if he shouldn’t start nudging his mortal partner-to-be in the right direction. He himself was no longer the bashful creature he used to be, now that he had ample experience dealing with people’s innermost desires; if anything, the lovey-dovey stuff that Dave seemed to want felt a lot more enticing now that he’d gone through the process of discovering what being horny was, if only because it went beyond that. Joel knew he could take anyone’s body and turn it into whatever kind of edifice to debauchery said body’s owner wanted; fleshcrafting was about as easy for him to perform as lifting a chair onto their dinner table, but much like that action, it lacked… something. It was just a thing that he did, a mechanical act that carried with it no real meaning or substance. Sure, the people he helped were probably a lot better off than they were before, especially after he made sure that the “worst” cases could afford to live without having to worry about drinking or eating anymore, but wish fulfillment only went so far. Perhaps it was his exposure to constant hypersexualization that left him yearning for something deeper, or maybe Joel was just learning what it was like to feel like a mortal; whatever the case, he saw in Dave not another person whose desires he could fulfill without any kind of effort on his part, someone he could take and turn into something more akin to a beast driven by their carnal desires... but a person, a peer perhaps, despite Joel’s own innate position several leagues above the great chain. Dave was someone with their own desires, motivations, wants and needs, someone who he could come to understand on a deeper, more meaningful level, someone he could hold onto and spend several hours doing absolutely nothing with.
Someone he could love.
It was an odd feeling for sure, and not one Joel was ready to admit, if only because he felt as if he wasn’t all that qualified to talk about anything that wasn’t just wish fulfillment. Understanding the mortal mind was in itself a challenge and a half, a task hard enough that the cat-god didn’t at all believe he’d even gotten started with; how could he expect to explore these feelings if he was still stuck at the most base level? And yet, the more the two of them spent time together and enjoyed one another’s company, the more it became obvious that there was something more there than simply physical attraction and lust; in fact, Joel seriously doubted whether he was even comfortable doing to Dave what he did to everyone else. It would cheapen the whole relationship they had built for themselves and reduce it to the level of customer and purveyor of services, something the deity firmly believed neither of them wanted. Besides, why should he worry himself with that when he could get all the entertainment he could ever want just by putting up a sign in front of their house and waiting for clients to show up? It felt like a waste of time.
The first true romantic interaction between the two of them, appropriately enough, came at the tail end of a very long beach day where Joel had to employ a significant amount of his power to keep people from recognizing him, a perception filter that neither feline was happy with but that the both of them recognized the importance of. It was a wonderful experience, especially since it was the first time the god-cat had experienced the cold saltwater; Dave got plenty of mileage from the mental image of the “all powerful” creature jumping in surprise at how powerful the first impact of getting in the water was, something that made him chuckle every time he recalled it. The two had some ice-cream afterwards and lounged around on a couple of chairs, enjoying the rhythmic rolling of the waves and the stiff ocean breeze on their whiskers. It was silence, yes, but a warm one; no words were really needed, and no words were exchanged: that, in itself, was the moment. Dave looked over to his… whatever Joel was to him and kept his eyes locked firmly onto his, a smile spreading across his lips and his cheeks gaining a noticeably red tinge. There were a great many things the cat wanted to say, and not one of them managed to come out, leaving it up to his hand to snake its way across the table and very conspicuously place itself in the middle of it. Joel, being the smooth operator he was, openly stared at it for a few seconds before remembering what it was supposed to mean, at which point he held onto it with his own… and having his own face brighten up considerably. The two held each other like that for enough time that it became awkward and Dave broke contact, but they were back at it again on the walk home just an hour later, with their arms wrapped around one another and their fingers interlocked.
What followed was possibly the weirdest romance that the planet had ever seen, courtesy of the deity’s unwillingness to get an actual office where his customers could get transformed in peace without being interrupted by everyone else in line, or Dave himself when he needed something from the kitchen. Sure, the operation was self-cleaning and muted, but it was still slightly uncomfortable for the mortal feline to wake up every day and find his supposed partner elbow-deep into someone’s cleavage while adjusting an additional pair of breasts; Joel had gotten a lot more hands-on with his work, and while it’d be disingenuous to claim it didn’t make the non-deific cat a little jealous, Dave recognized that his newest romantic endeavour saw the whole business like a potter might look upon their craft. These weren’t breasts and penises being made colossal or bodies warped into mind-bending shapes, but rather challenges to be met and overcome; Joel very much saw every customer of his as a brand new roadblock that he was meant to find a way around, a puzzle, if you will. And yet, even though Dave kept telling himself that he had no reason to believe it was anything but that, it still stung… but he managed. Somehow.
Inevitably, news of the cat-god’s activity began to spread wider than their neighborhood and immediate surroundings. A seemingly all-powerful creature with impossible abilities that could grant people their wishes and turn their bodies into whatever it was they asked of them, free of charge, with the guarantee that they could devote themselves to a life of self-indulgent madness without having to worry about rent payments, food or water? It was unthinkable to expect these kinds of news not to reach the furthest ears, and soon enough the two of them had to have a very serious conversation; not about the deity’s business model, but about the role he would play in the world going forward. As much as Dave was fine with his partner (assuming that word could even be used) employing his powers however he liked, assuming people were fine with it, Joel had to understand that if he was going to live among mortals, then he’d have to tone things down or at least do something to stop the whole world from turning on its head after finding out at least one god was actually real.
“Like you do with me,” the mortal cat capped off his poorly-rehearsed diatribe, “why can’t you just… you know, show people that side of you? The one I see?”
The divine feline wanted to answer that, he really did. But he also knew that the moment he did so, the two of them would probably end up doing something he wasn’t quite ready for; funnily enough, for all of Joel’s knowledge of mortal anatomy, he was woefully ignorant of what it meant to actually make love to someone else. They were aware some mechanical penetration was involved, but the details were still slightly fuzzy, especially since so many of his clients had wildly different ideas of what constituted sex; piecing everything together while separating fantasy from reality was already hard enough for him on a regular basis, let alone when he was constantly bombarded by the confusing signals he was supposed to be filtering out.
“Because I don’t feel… comfortable,” the god-cat ended up responding, “I came down here to be with you, and I’m forever grateful that you gave me the time of day. This time I’ve spent with you, it’s… I don’t even know how to describe it, and you know that means a lot coming from me!” - Dave nodded at this, matter-of-factly - “But I’m just not ready to show other people. I wouldn’t know how to.”
“And yet you’re fine with giving Bullock three extra dicks and enough balls that he literally can’t walk anymore?”
“You know it’s not about that Dave, come on…”
“Ok, then what is it? Why am I special?”
Only one way out of there… or at least one way that didn’t involve lying or obfuscation. Already Joel could feel his cheeks brightening up again, and the way he pulled his face away didn’t do much to hide it. Dave crossed his arms and kept on staring ahead, his face contorted into a stony expression that hid just how much turmoil was going on behind it. The mortal cat knew full well what the answer was going to be, but seeing as neither of them had said it before, he felt it would be best if he allowed the literal deity in the room to take a first step. After all, if he could do anything at all, surely he could say three words, no?
And yet, despite this belief, Joel remained firmly silent, the magical sentence caught up in his throat thanks to a mixture of embarrassment and lack of perspective. The sheer amount of bad romance novels and low-grade movies that the cat-god consumed in order to get up to speed on narrative tropes had left him with a lasting impression that saying that would suddenly make things completely different, as if it was a magical incantation that would turn the whole world on its head. Intellectually he knew it couldn’t be true, but he had never quite been ruled by intellect before; if he had, then he wouldn’t have swooped down into the mortal plane to come live with Dave in the first place. He looked up, meeting his partner’s gaze with his own; it was now or never.
“Because…” - he gulped, sweating nervously - “Because I…”
“Go on,” Dave stated, leaning back on his chair, “because you what?”
“B-because I… I love you, Dave.”
Silence. For a few brief moments, Joel was utterly convinced that he’d thrown away his chances at a happy resolution. After so long working to build a relationship with the other cat, he had just… given it all up for the sake of a dramatic moment. Soon enough, he was going to be thrown out of the house and made to sleep on the streets, if not worse; maybe the shock of rejection would be so powerful that he’d be booted off the mortal plane and thrown back to where he came from, so he could contemplate his own failures for all of eternity.
More silence. Sweat poured down Joel’s brow, who opened his mouth to apologize and retract his statement before realizing how bad that’d make him sound. The deity was already preparing his next declaration when Dave lifted a finger and got up, once more triggering all sorts of fears in Joel’s self-made primal brain… right before he felt their lips lock.
It was such an unexpected turn of events that he yelped into the kiss, flinching backwards before he felt his partner’s hands hold onto his back in order to pull him forward into the embrace. Slowly, his resistance broke down, eyelids fluttering close as the two allowed instinct to take over and dictate where they should go next. It was such a wonderful thing, to finally let go, to let nature take its course, especially with someone like Dave; he was surprisingly comfortable once Joel got to ruffling his hair, one hand firmly on their back when the two rolled onto the ground.
He was warm. All of him was warm. Warmth and love and amazingness and so many things he couldn’t even begin to describe, not even with his full mastery of spacetime to draw from. How could he even think in such grandiose, abstract terms when he had Dave, there, for him, forever, soft fur against fur, lips locked and offering so much more than eternity could. It was impossible, it couldn’t be; Joel had experienced the full breadth of infinity, he had created universes simply for the sake of settling a minor doubt, and yet he found in that one moment, that singular instant of physical intimacy, far more than he ever had in his countless eons of existence. How that could be was such an immense paradox that even a mind as keen and sharp as the cat-god’s couldn’t even begin to wrap itself around it… or, perhaps far more likely, the pleasure receptors in his squishy brain had just been short-circuited so hard that his faculties were affected and he couldn’t really think straight. That seemed like a far more likely alternative than Dave’s kiss holding more secrets than the literal entirety of reality and its outskirts. Even if that were true though, Joel didn’t particularly care. In that moment, the two of them were all that mattered, and if that meant abandoning his divine nature for the sake of savouring it for as long as possible, he was about ready to do just that.
And then it ended.
For all that it was a game changer, the sudden display of intimacy lasted for barely long enough that Joel could taste it properly, and would’ve left him feeling cheated if not for the other person involved being, well… Dave. Perhaps the most confusing aspect in the whole thing was that the other cat wasn’t looking anywhere near as surprised and taken over by the experience as his divine consort was; could it be that the cat-god had finally found something that mortal minds were better equipped to handle than his own? Or was it perhaps that he had seriously overestimated how mindblowing and amazing the kiss had been, primarily since it was his first one? There was some evidence to the latter hypothesis holding some weight, as the first thing that Dave did once he sat back down on his chair was to chuckle and call Joel an idiot in the softest, most loving tone the deity had ever heard him employ.
“And here I was thinking I was the awkward one,” he explained, “seriously, you didn’t have to make so much of a fuss over saying that.”
“B-but I…” Joel stuttered, still on the ground, still extremely confused over what had just happened, “But you told me you wanted to hear it, I thought it was gonna b-”
“Be super important and change everything?” the mortal feline completed, “Well, I suppose it is technically official now, so I get to publicly embarrass you with overt displays of affection… a-as soon as I’m ready for them myself” - Dave added that last bit under his breath, the smug look on his face faltering for just long enough to reveal the growing blush underneath - “But that doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to be honest with me, you know? There’s no need to be embarrassed, you were the one who showed up here, not the other way around. Besides, you’re a literal fucking god, so why do you care?”
“... because I love you.”
The words were spoken with such heartfelt sincerity that all Dave could do was try and stop himself from going “D’awww” at such a cute little kitty cat. He did slide off his seat again, if only to help Joel get back back on his two feet; this posed a wonderful opportunity for the two of them to meet once again in the most intimate manner possible, and that kiss lasted for so much longer that the cat-god actually managed to find some degree of comfort in the embrace after working through the several layers of awkwardness he’d somehow built around himself. For Dave, this was the best possible outcome; for a moment there he had been genuinely afraid that forcing the issue might lead to some rather drastic consequences, and then he’d have to handle his pet deity’s little side-projects all on his own with none of the power needed to do anything about them. Now though? Now he had Joel, all for himself, and no one could ever take him away; mostly because the only entity that could was Joel himself.
Where to go from there, though, was the great question. As Dave noted, nothing had really changed in their dynamic; the two were still going to live together, the two were still going to keep heading on outings and doing things that “normal” couples did… in fact, just about the only odd thing about theirs was that one of the cats was some kind of hyper-universal entity with a penchant for making people’s private parts exceedingly large, which in all honesty did sort of count as being something mildly interesting. Which, now that the mortal cat thought about it, was the whole reason that he called that meeting to begin with.
“I’m not asking you to stop. You know I’d never do it,” Dave sighed, as soon as Joel got back on his chair, “but if you keep doing this, more people, the wrong people are going to find out about you. And the second they do, there are gonna be so many folks knocking on your door to grovel at your feet that I’m afraid we won’t have any time to be together. Again, not that I’m bothered by that, bu-”
“But you are bothered by it,” Joel cut through, to which his partner responded by crossing his arms and looking away, “Dave, I understand that it’s a lot to take in, but I feel like I’ve found my calling here! I make people’s dreams come true and let them experience life to the fullest!”
“I know that, but that’s not what I’m talking about!” the other feline insisted, “I can work through the jealousy with your customers, it’s fine; I’m talking about… the other people.”
“... what other people?”
“You know, the religious types. The ones that won’t come here to beg for you to give them bigger tits or several asses, but… you know, the usual ‘praise be unto thee’ kinda thing. Last thing I want is a temple built around our house, thank you very much!”
Joel looked ahead, eyes not quite focused on anything in particular. While he hadn’t given much thought to it in the fleeting amount of time he’d been in the mortal plane, the god was aware of this religion thing floating about; it never quite struck him as all that important, mostly since it’d be exceedingly rude of him to muscle into the territory of some of his higher-order acquaintances like that. Now that he thought about it though, Dave might well have a point; he himself couldn’t remember the last time any other deity had taken the time to directly influence the world in such a blatant manner as he had been… and putting two and two together very quickly led to the horrible realization that he might just be upturning several millenia’s worth of carefully laid-out plans that some of his neighbours had been working on. The thought alone was so terrifying that he felt like apologizing right there and then, and only after putting some effort into trying to attune with the dimensional planes above him did Joel realize there were a great many number of eyes all firmly placed on him… most of which wanted to tear him a new one for how blatant he was being with his powers.
Dave could never know. It might just destroy his mortal mind.
“I… understand,” the cat-god finally replied, not quite lying, “I’ll make sure to uh… change a few variables, make it so people will think things are perfectly natural even when they’re not. Give the world some time to slowly adapt and whatnot, know what I’m saying?”
“And give yourself an office,” Dave added.
“But I can clean the living room!”
“Yes, and sometimes I’d like to be able to use it to watch a movie or something. You can build something next to our house, but we’re clearing the living room from this point forward. Is that acceptable?”
A small price to pay. Joel nodded, solemnly promising he would do his best to conduct his business away from his partner’s eyes, who for his part was just happy things had gone as well as they had. In fact, things went so swimmingly that the next few days actually saw a reduction in the amount of eager transformative customers, with the rampant rumours of a “size wizard” Dave had to deal with it slowing down as well; watching the news over the course of the following weeks revealed the cause to be none other than the world being slowly changed to meet the ‘new’ standard: while average sizes weren’t necessarily going up for the regular population, the existence of plus-sized individuals, or “hypers” as they were being called, went from nonexistent, to a genetic rarity, to a commonplace occurrence and accepted fact right before the cat’s eyes. He’d occasionally catch Joel glancing at the TV off the corner of his eye, smirking like an idiot and looking like he really wanted to gloat about his handiwork. Soon enough, even the presenters were utterly massive… or, well, at least one was; the other was perfectly fine with having to compete for space with a single breast, and indeed seemed no different from her usual self.
Meanwhile, the god-cat’s building renovations saw less and less use, the trickle of customers drying up until it finally disappeared completely, leaving Joel without anything to do for most of the day. Dave had wanted to ask his partner what that was all about, until he began piecing together the most likely sequence of events; he had never expected Joel to go so far in his pursuit of ultimate debauchery, but he had to hand it to him, he really did make it. If anything, the mortal cat was confused as to why his divine consort hadn’t simply resorted to that kind of large-scale transformation before. Unbeknownst to him, poor Joel had been involved in such a monumental power struggle-slash-business negotiation with his fellow deities that he was only really half-present in the mortal world at the best of times; while he would’ve liked to keep going with his more hands-on approach, the other creatures he shared a godlike status with didn’t exactly like him doing so, hence the need for sweeping changes in order to put an end to Joel’s little experimentations. That hypers became a fact of life was the only luxury afforded to him, payment in exchange for the cat-god no longer influencing the world in any meaningful way; if he wanted to be there in a mortal form, then he would behave like a mortal, with all that implied… sans death, obviously, for him and Dave; even the other gods weren’t that evil.
The two’s home life thus became… rather mundane. Without any clients to take Joel’s attention away from his precious lover, the two felines were more often than not in one another’s arms, occasionally in a wholesome way; it made working from home exceptionally difficult for the mortal half of the couple, who often had to physically push Joel out of his office before locking the door, only to turn around and find the god-cat kneeling in front of him with the most pathetic, puppy-dog expression on his face. This normally lasted for a couple of rounds before one of them got tired and relented. Mostly Joel, surprisingly enough.
As the days went on and the two continued to explore their options, there came a point where Dave, no longer the boring, unremarkable feline he once prided himself in being, felt like things needed to be spiced up a little. He knew that Joel still kept his abilities, even if he didn’t use them for some reason, and so began nudging him towards bringing them out again; for one last time. Surprisingly, the deity seemed reticent to comply (mostly thanks to his fears that his fellows might try and do something to retaliate), but after having a very, very horny cat constantly hounding him day and night, something had to crack; not so surprisingly, it was Joel’s willpower.
A few days later, when the two were finally ready to hit the town again after Dave got used to the new additions slapped onto his body… no one really cared. It was perfectly normal to see someone with those kinds of proportions, hell, it was downright banal at that point, which just made the experience all that much better for the two of them. This was the world that they had crafted together, from their actions, because of their love for one another… albeit in a rather indirect manner, but still. Poor Joel had his face so constantly red that the colour might well have seeped into his skin, not helped by how many times his partner scooped him up and shoved him into the many cleavages adorning his chest. For Dave, the transformation he’d undergone had turned him into something glorious, and he now fully understood why all the others had resorted to those kinds of services. He felt something beyond happiness and joy, exacerbated whenever the arousal hit extra hard.
He couldn’t wait to get more.
