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A New Start - Part 5 (Commission for Code-Shark101)
🕑 Added 2021-11-23 16:00:01 +0000 UTCTAGS: Amazon/Mini-Giantess, Slice-Of-Life (ish), Romance, Dom/Sub, Sexual Awakening, Toys
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“There is the issue of you blanking out midway through,” Mina carried on, “but I think we can work on that as we go along. Which reminds me, what even, how do you lose control like that?” - there was a short moment of silence where, it seemed, Mina realized how poorly constructed that question had been if it was intended innocently, at which point she quickly stammered out a correction - “I-I mean uh, you know what I mean! Like, you’re… big. Strong. You could probably bench press a car if you wanted to, so I dunno, it’s weird that you can’t hold onto yourself? Then again, Lira doesn’t either, so maybe it’s in the genemodding somehow?”
“Could be,” Ashly replied almost instinctively, only lending credence to the idea that she wasn’t nearly as in control of herself as she liked to believe she was, “it’s like there’s someone different inside me, like I’m having to fight back against a fucking animal that keeps trying to get loose. I can only imagine what they did to me on the genetic level, honestly, so maybe it’s a case of… I dunno, predatory stuff? It isn’t the first time this has happened either, b-”
She stopped. Midway through the last word, Ashly realized she had said too much, though less so because she was relaying classified information and more due to the fact that the whole Richard saga was still a sore spot for her and she didn’t want to think about it too much, especially not when it would only sour the mood. Then again, just remembering it was enough to get her to scowl and frown, which Mina immediately picked up on; the vixen was surprisingly good at making her relent without saying a single word as well, with all that was needed being a stern look and a slightly tighter hug. “I’m here, dummy,” they were saying, letting the wild dog know that it was ridiculous to hold back when clearly she wanted to share it, “you’re safe with me,” they further insisted, all without making a single sound. It only felt fair, now that Ashly gave it a moment’s thought: Mina had placed an almost ludicrous amount of trust in her while in the bedroom, so really, why shouldn’t she trust them back? It wasn’t as if she had anyone else to turn to, and besides, things had progressed so weirdly compared to every other relationship she had ever been in that Ashly had given up trying to make any kind of sense out of it; there were no rules there, only instinct, only what felt right at any given time, and if ever there was to be regret for her actions, it would have to come later… so she spoke. She spoke, and kept speaking, relaying everything from the moment she first left the program (left unmentioned beyond vague references to an “old job”), all the way to when she first “met” Lira after blacking out and finding herself on the website she offered her services in. Everything, from the lowliest of details to the most excruciatingly difficult emotion to process, Ashly just… blurted it out, baring her soul to Mina as the two of them slowly made their way back to the bedroom, throwing the dirty sheets onto the ground so they could use the (comparatively) cleaner mattress below. Ashly found herself lying down on it, with the vixen using her as an impromptu bed-on-a-bed, listening attentively and nodding along to whatever their much larger lover said; they uttered no words, offered no reply, choosing instead to be a receptacle for a story that had clearly wanted to be told, but had never had anyone to be told to. In fact, after a certain point, Ashly couldn’t stop even if she tried; what she was saying was too important not to relay, like it was a living thing that had to be delivered in full rather than in parts. It had a life its own, and though it was deeply personal to her, the wild dog still couldn’t help but feel like it was still separate somehow, like some odd meta-entity that held so much sway over her that she couldn’t help but fully describe it. Or, perhaps, she simply had someone to talk to, and had never learned when to keep her mouth shut after letting herself ramble on; that certainly made more sense than the alternative, even if it left Ashly feeling increasingly self-conscious the more she went on. Still, she made it far enough that it didn’t make sense to just stop, and so she kept going, right up until she opened the door to the bar and found Lira and Mina together at a table, waiting for her, at which point the canid just stopped talking, having no clue how to keep going. There were a few moments where Mina was clearly left waiting to see if there was anything else to it, if Ashly was going to give her thoughts on the matter, or anything really, before realizing that the big dog had just run out of words to say; a cough and a throat-clearing later, the vixen took the initiative to restart the conversation.
“I get it, honestly, I do,” she admitted, her voice making it clear that it wasn’t a fib, her arms wrapping around Ashly redoubling that certainty, “I can’t say I know what it’s like to have instincts like those, but… you’re not the only one who just doesn’t know how to process those sorts of feelings, trust me. Before I met Lira, I was completely hopeless; I spent more time stressing out over whether people liked me or not than I did doing anything to make them like me, so I ended up constantly running into bathrooms to try and keep myself from breaking down whenever I thought I offended someone. Even nowadays, most people at work just… don’t really think of me as anything other than a coworker. It’s hard, not gonna say otherwise, but I swear to you, it’s not your fault. You just didn’t know any better; plus, it’s not like anyone can fault you for what the genemodding did to your end, we all know the treatments have side-effects.”
Ashly wanted to agree verbally, but couldn’t. She knew, objectively speaking, that what Mina was saying was correct, in the sense that it was technically on-point, but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to actually admit it. There was something so alluring about the realization that it wasn’t all just her fault personally, but ingrained behavioral patterns being what they were, it really wasn’t as simple as nodding along and saying that yes, everything was fine and her everything had turned around completely; it was hard work, just like Mina said, and it wouldn’t be done in just a handful of words, not without a great many months to years of work, if it was ever done at all… but, at the same time, it felt nice to take a first step on the road, even if Ashly hadn’t been aware there was a road there to begin with. Nevertheless, words were still beyond her, so she instead “replied” by holding Mina tighter and mumbling something unintelligible, which the vixen mercifully interpreted as a sign that she could keep going.
“Besides, anyone that can dive into this sort of stuff like you did is a good bean in my books. You can’t imagine the amount of people Lira’s gone through that just don’t know when to stop. And yes, she isn’t always the dominant,” Mina quickly added on seeing Ashly’s shocked expression, “she’s big and strong, sure, but trust me, she’s an absolute teddy bear when she wants to be; hell, I’ve dommed her a couple of times, and it’s the mos-ok, better not talk about it now, but uh, yeah, she’s not nearly as scary as she likes to paint herself as. She is that strong though, and I can tell you those people learned that the hard way when she screamed out the safeword and they decided to ignore it. Just our luck that they were too embarrassed about the whole thing to press charges, otherwise she might’ve done time for aggravated assault already.”
“That… sounds a bit harsh.”
“You’d think so, but someone like Lira needs a…” - for once, it was Mina blushing - “She needs a lot. It gets intense, let’s just say that, but with that, you need to have people you can trust too. So if you’re getting super into it and you’re like, five hours in and suddenly things cross a line, you need to know you can trust the other person to stop themselves, so when they don’t…”
Made sense. Still not something that Ashly could personally understand, having not gone that far herself, but still something that made some sense in regards to the trust exercise. Plus, Lira was huge, so for them to be the submissive… honestly, it was hard to imagine, especially with Mina being the one on top, but at the same time it also served to assuage some of her own doubts; her own occasional thoughts of being the one to be tied up and treated like the powerless one were, up until then, something she struggled to understand, being the much bigger and naturally powerful one in the room. Yet, if Lira, if the person who could give her pause was more than capable of switching herself to a more submissive position and enjoy it at the same time, doubly so with someone like that vixen being the one to take the reins, then maybe it was actually completely normal. Maybe, as she came to slowly realize, Ashly had been beating herself up over literally nothing, having simply never learned that the urges she felt, just as long as they were explored in a safe, sane and consentual manner, were entirely normal; granted, she was still far physically larger than Mina was, so that would need some workshopping before said urges could be taken care of, but the vixen surely knew what to do in that regard. The hardest part, the actual admitting that what she was feeling was perfectly fine, had already been taken care of, so everything else was little more than meaningless details to be ironed out at a later date.
“Why are you smiling, silly?”
Mina was smiling too when she asked that. Ashly knew the vixen was fully aware of what had gone through her head; she did, after all, lack any form of subtlety whatsoever, making it more than likely that her partner for the day knew exactly what sort of realization she’d just had. Nevertheless, a question was asked, and given how warm and fuzzy Ashly felt at that exact moment, she figured it would only be fair if she gave in to her more mushy side, for once.
“I dunno, I’m just… happy, I guess?” she chose to say, nuzzling into Mina’s neck, “It’s been a while since I felt like this, so I just don’t know how to handle it, really. It’s just… things are fine, and I think I’m okay with that? Even if I have no clue how they ended up here.”
“Yeah, that’s how I felt too,” Mina nodded along, choosing not to dig deeper, “did you know, when I first met Lira, I genuinely had no idea what a buttplug was?”
Ashly had to try exceedingly hard not to burst out laughing. She did not succeed.
“I’m serious!” the vixen insisted, barely holding back a giggle fit of her own, “I swear I was the most sheltered idiot I’d ever met, you can imagine what it was like to walk into her bedroom and saw her toy collection just lined up on her shelf. She hadn’t even put it there on purpose, she just keeps them there for whenever she’s bored, I fucking swear.”
“Maybe I should get some of my own,” Ashly mused, looking back at the empty space on her wall, “see if I can’t spruce up the place.
The comment was intended as a joke, though how widely Mina’s eyes opened and how badly they disguised a gasp, it was clear they didn’t see it as one. Indeed, the vixen almost immediately launched into a long ramble about toy pricing, custom molds, trusted companies, and a variety of other things that, much like the first explanation had some time prior, mostly went over Ashly’s head. The canid was in no fit state to think about dildo expenditures, much less anything more complex than a synthetic fallus, but it made Mina happy to draw up plans for the both of them, so she did nothing to stop it. In fact, were it just made the whole atmosphere warmer, and not even in any sexual manner; it felt oddly comfortable to lay there and listen to the vixen excitedly talk over herself about all manner of things that she, the naive newcomer, had no frame of reference to understand, especially when more technical terms were used that Ashly didn’t even dare to ask about. But it felt normal, strange as that might sound, so she chose not to think about it too much, lest the sensation go away; why bother analyzing the one moment in a long time when she felt truly happy when she could just… savour it? When she could slowly wrap her arms around Mina again, doing so in such a manner that even the vixen mixed it? When she could just nod along and occasionally produce a short “hmm” or “huh-huh” whenever she figured it was time to do so? It wasn’t dismissive so much as her just not being ready for that conversation; besides, when it came to spending money, the two of them would have to go through everything a second time anyway, as Ashly was in no way going to commit herself to throwing any amount of cash into a hobby she wasn’t even sure she’d have the time to indulge in on a regular basis. But it made Mina happy, and if it made them happy, then it made her happy as well; it was a strange and alien feeling, especially for someone who she’d only met a few hours prior, but to Ashly, seeing that gorgeous vixen smile was the best thing to have happened to her in so long that she couldn’t even put a number on it. She could afford to forget about everything else: the program failing, the gym, her failed overtures with Richard, even the gossip which had inadvertently led to her finding Lira in the first place, none of it seemed to matter when it was placed next to Mina, looking at her with the biggest, happiest grin stamped on her face.
“Why are you smiling?”
The vixen was the one to ask this, bringing Ashly back down to reality once she heard the words being directed at her. Not that it surprised her; of course she was smiling, why wouldn’t she be? She was happy, and lacking even the most rudimentary of poker faces, it only made sense that this was immediately made perfectly visible on her expression, her body language, hell, Ashly wouldn’t even be that shocked if Mina could smell the joy coming out of her, even through the thick haze of almond-scented fur-care shampoo. But there was a question asked, and a question asked required an answer provided… even if it did have to come through the occasional giggle, as Ashly found herself unable to keep a straight face anymore.
“Why, am I not allowed to smile?” the canid retorted, “Do I need to ask for a permit?”
“No, but… you haven’t smiled like that yet,” Mina replied, gently booping the tip of her much larger lover’s muzzle, “it suits you. It makes you look happy.”
“I…”
There were three words that Ashly wanted to say. Three words that, in any other circumstance, she would’ve had no trouble speaking aloud, even if they didn’t correspond to the truth. Yet now, after everything that had happened, it wasn’t a case of hiding her true self anymore; it wasn’t a case of her pretending that she wasn’t dreadfully lonely and needed someone in her life to help make things make sense again, nor was it a case of her all-but being forced to put on a strong facade in order to keep up with what other people thought of her. There, in her bedroom, alone and isolated from the rest of the world, Ashly was happy, and for once in her life, she wasn’t ashamed to get mushy about it; hence why her response came accompanied by a non-insignificant amount of tears and inelegant blubbering, through which she finally managed to say something that just made everything feel so much more colourful.
“I am happy.”
She wasn’t afraid of crying. Maybe her old self, the same one who hit the gym thinking that she should be showing off to everyone around her, maybe the version of herself that saw Richard as less of a person to be loved and more as prey to be captured, would’ve balked at the notion that she was even capable of crying, much less wanting to do it. But Mina was there, and Mina was better than she was; or rather, the vixen let her be herself, because the vixen wouldn’t judge. They wouldn’t turn their back and start shittalking her to their friends, nor would they slap her across the face to make her shut up and stop bawling; it was such an odd experience, to know that she was safe, that Ashly honestly didn’t know how to react… so she just cried. All the frustrations, all the anger, all the fear and despair that had hounded her ever since being booted off the genemodding project, all of it came out, and for once, it didn’t leave her feeling worse off than she had been initially. The canid had her fears that she’d end up regretting everything she did by the end of the day, but the longer she remained there, the tighter Mina’s hold over her became, the more Ashly came to realize that her fears were unfounded. She was safe there, she was ok, Mina wasn’t going to pass judgement, and she could make her emotions known without being afraid of having them rejected outright; or worse, ignored. Indeed, it seemed that the more tears rolled down her cheek, the more Ashly felt the vixen’s arms digging into her sides, Mina slowly nuzzling into her neck as if to let her know that they, too, were there in case the wild dog needed something warm and fuzzy to hold onto. Ashly took this offer up as soon as she realized it was there; it felt right to have someone like Mina there, and it was only then that Ashly truly convinced herself that if anyone had been left a complete mess as a result of the emotional turmoil of her first time, it was her, not the vixen. It might’ve been them who used the safeword, but they weren’t the ones bawling their eyes out and cry-laughing like a silly idiot; then again, Mina’s eyes weren’t exactly dry either, though they were seemingly capable of holding themselves back a bit better. They did nothing to stop the crying though, which kept going for long enough that Ashly herself eventually began to feel awkward about it… right before understanding that such a thing was ridiculous, because obviously she shouldn’t feel awkward around Mina, which led to yet another dive into the realizations that led to her crying in the first place, sending her right back to yet another bawling fit that only ended when both her and the vixen were holding one another with so much strength that it genuinely felt like they were about to snap one another’s spines. It was hard to tell how long they remained that way, how much time was spent with Ashly trying her best to come to terms with the confusing mess of emotions in her head, but once they were “done”, by way of the canid opening her eyes properly without having them running over with tears, it was noticeably darker outside. A whole day had passed in between Ashly deciding to head to the bar and now… this, but for the life of her, she couldn’t see it as anything other than a day well spent. She met Lira, sure, but she’d met Mina, and though things progressed far too quickly for it to be even remotely normal, Ashly really couldn’t care; what mattered was that, for the first time in what felt like years, she finally felt at home, with someone who she could genuinely see herself sharing a life with, or at least becoming inseparable friends with benefits should they not swing the way of a more permanent commitment. Granted, the wild dog knew that such fantasies were ridiculous to an extent; they had just met that day, emotions were running wild, and the amount of hormones pumping through her system were obviously making her think in ways that didn’t really make a lot of sense. But was that not evidence that the two of them had hit it off? It wasn’t exactly marriage material, but it felt downright silly to suggest that what they had just shared was nothing but a one-night (day?) stand, rather than the start of a long friendship. At least, Ashly hoped that was the case; it would be devastating for her if Mina decided to go away for whatever reason.
“Feeling better?” the vixen eventually asked, their voice soft, their tone caring, “It’s been a while since you’ve had a good cry, hasn’t it?”
Ashly couldn’t even bring herself to respond with actual words, just a nod and a quick “mhmm” mumbled through closed lips. At once, she felt another nuzzle, followed quickly by a smooch to her neck.
“Sorry if I d-”
“No, don’t be!” Ashly promptly cut through, hugging Mina even harder than before, “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay! I needed this, I… fuck, Mina, I don’t even know h-”
“Hush.”
It was a command. The voice it came from was the same as before, yet the tone was just different enough to touch upon instincts that Ashly had forgotten were inside of her; as if she were a robot with a control panel exposed, the single word had left her silent, the fur on her back standing on end as she slowly came to realize that yes, Mina was perfectly capable of bringing out a more domineering side, and with such astounding efficiency that she managed to do so with a single word… though the effect was ruined somewhat when the vixen then began giggling on seeing Ashly’s confused face, ending with yet another boop to the snoot.
“I do that with Lira sometimes too,” the vixen explained, lowering her voice to a whisper that could only be described as outright sultry, “and she hates it, but she rolls over when I tell her to anyway, so what do I know? What I’m wondering is…”
The question coming her way was obvious, but it still didn’t make it any less bearable for Ashly, especially not after the emotional rollercoaster she had already gone through. At the same time though, it was something she wanted to answer “yes” to with all of her might and even more that she didn’t have, even if this meant debasing herself to a point where her older self might’ve found objectionable. But she wasn’t her old self, that was the whole point; the transformation undergone in that day wasn’t merely a physical one, but a mental one as well, with Ashly sloughing her compunctions off like an old snakeskin. So when Mina asked the question, when their eyes went half-lidded and their hands began moving to some very sensitive spots in some very sensitive places, Ashly couldn’t help but lick her lips and smile back. Doubly so when the words actually came her way:
“... will you roll over like a good girl?”
