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Bermuda Chapter 251
🕑 Added 2024-08-18 03:25:12 +0000 UTCChapter 251
"I can't leave you alone because I'm worried. You almost died because of that amplifier, didn't you?"
Hugo's voice, which had been about to rise, made Leonardo feel that he was suppressing a lot. As the talk of 'worry' and 'death' directly hit him, Leonardo's eyelids twitched for a moment.
His lips moved reflexively, but this time he couldn't refute anything. It was partly because it was true, but also because the other's emotions surged over through the arm that held him.
Leonardo's expression suddenly hardened. Hugo consciously loosened his grip in response. Yet his lowered voice, deliberately feigning calmness, enumerated one by one the things they had been avoiding talking about.
"I don't think you'll deny it either. No, in fact, you probably know it best. Right after dealing with the mother body, you were on the brink of going berserk. There were moments when you lost your mind, and you even choked yourself."
Unlike before, Hugo's gaze fell directly on Leonardo's neck. Leonardo flinched and reflexively raised his arm to cover the area around his neck. His hand kept fumbling over the area already covered by bandages and collar, as if trying to hide it again.
Seeing this, Hugo let out a complicated sigh and spoke softly.
"...I won't ask why you did it. You probably weren't in your right mind then. But whether it was an action taken while unconscious or not, for a moment, you tried to give up on yourself."
"..."
"Leo... answer me. Do you really think the situation has all ended well? There are still fingermarks that haven't disappeared on your neck, and bruises like tattoos are still mottled, aren't they?"
Hugo's tone was by no means agitated. However, the explicit words he spelled out one by one, combined with his unnaturally calm tone, made the atmosphere even more serious.
The more Leonardo heard Hugo's words, the more he sank into intense shame and self-loathing. Even earlier, when he had washed and the medical officers rewrapped his bandages, he had deliberately ignored the marks left on his neck.
As if everyone had agreed, no one asked about those marks, so he thought if he just pretended not to know, it could be passed over as if nothing had happened. But when Agrizendro openly mentioned it, an indescribable embarrassment washed over him, and his head naturally bowed.
Hugo sighed again and rubbed his face. This was why he had indirectly pressured him to hand over the amplifier, using unnecessary words like serious crime or punishment.
He didn't want to bring up heavier words to someone who had really come back from the brink of death. And they both knew well how sensitive this topic was for both him and Leonardo.
But the water had already been spilled. Hugo looked at the silent Leonardo, then shifted his gaze to the orange light, tightly closing his eyes before opening them again.
"Hah-, it's okay. Yes, all that is okay. Because I was by your side then. ...As you said, in the end the mother body died, and above all, you're safe, so nothing else matters."
Hugo, recalling the serious situation at the time, barely swallowed the many words he had wanted to say. He hoped that Leonardo, who was listening, wouldn't be hurt or discouraged any further.
Instead, as he spoke candidly, he lowered his eyes towards Leonardo again. Then he cupped the beautiful face that had grown gaunt over the past few days and slowly lifted his chin to make him look at him.
"But in the future, I might not be by your side."
Hugo, catching his breath, conveyed to Leonardo in an even lower voice. At that moment, Leonardo's eyes wavered slightly.
Whether it was because of the light from the lamp, the blue eyes he faced seemed warmer, even hot, today. The other's sincerity, rarely seen, was mixed in that mysterious heat.
"If you take drugs like the amplifier again and lose control, reaching the brink of going berserk. If this subjugation ends and we part ways, and I can no longer be by your side."
"..."
"Who will protect you then?"
Hugo's grip on Leonardo's arm grew stronger. However, the touch and gaze that held Leonardo's face were deeply caring for the other.
So Leonardo felt a tingling sensation, but no pain. However, as he looked on in confusion, not knowing how to answer, Hugo, with distorted eyes, blurted out as if confessing:
"In this empire, I'm the only one who can handle you, so who on earth will take responsibility for you if I'm not there?"
With those words, silence lingered between the two for a while. The air, which had grown even heavier, tangled in the space between their crossed gazes.
Leonardo, his upper body leaning forward awkwardly in the large hand that held him, felt conflicted due to the concern Hugo had conveyed.
If he had heard this story a little earlier, he might have gotten angry at the other again, his pride hurt. It was not long ago that he had been disappointed alone, thinking that his existence, which felt like a foreign substance in this subjugation force, might be a burden difficult for Agrizendro to handle.
But now was different from then. The other's voice, which seemed to be questioning, was tinged with concern rather than anger. He had heard the other's inner thoughts several times before, and had confirmed the sincerity for him in his eyes and voice. And now, it would be foolish to get angry just from hearing fragmentary words from someone who was expressing worry for him with all his heart.
'Hah... why did I again.'
Leonardo felt a little ashamed of his momentary flare-up. He knows that this person is not someone who would punish him. Yet he regretted his impulsive behavior of misinterpreting and snapping back unnecessarily.
Because of this, he found it awkward to meet his gaze and looked down at the innocent floor. As he was throwing meaningless glances, not knowing where to put his eyes, his gaze naturally went to Hugo's forearm where veins were protruding.
At that moment, Leonardo's consciousness flew to the inside of the barrier where the volcanic eruption was in full swing. The image of Hugo, holding onto him and pleading not to run away, flickered before his eyes.
Although there were no red marks that had been exposed between the torn battle uniform at that time, faint traces of burns remained on his forearm below the short sleeve.
Leonardo's expression contorted as if in pain. Those were surely wounds he had left.
"That..."
He wanted to ask if it was okay, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth, tangled with regret and self-loathing.
The person in front of him must have watched every bit of his pathetic self on the brink of going berserk. Moreover, once, his uncontrolled power had flown towards him, almost harming him with his own hands.
If the other had really been a Commander who only cared about right and wrong, without any regard for his position. He might have first collected mana or blood to check for the possibility of going berserk as soon as he woke up. Or he might have put handcuffs on him to prevent any unfortunate incidents in advance. After all, he himself had thought of the possibility of going berserk as soon as he wondered about his damaged voice.
But from the time he woke up until now, Agrizendro had never once mentioned it. He had nagged about eating well to recover, pushing soup at him, but he had never brought up anything that would make him feel self-conscious.
As he reflected, Leonardo could vaguely sense it. That Hugo was intentionally keeping silent about going berserk. At the same time, it suddenly occurred to him that the words that grated on his nerves, like 'crime' and 'punishment', that he had uttered were actually meant to speak around the main point.
Leonardo tightly closed his eyes, holding his throbbing forehead, his heart growing heavy. Then Hugo, letting out a deep sigh, suddenly broke the silence that was about to lengthen.
"No, Leonardo. ...Forget what I said."
The large hand gripping his forearm slowly slipped away. Fearing that this might mean he wouldn't even talk to him, Leonardo quickly raised his head, following the retreating hand.
Hugo pushed away the side table he had pulled forward and stood up from his seat. Running his hand lightly through his hair, he looked down at Leonardo with a more relaxed face and said:
"I think I said something unnecessary. There was no need to bring that up."
Comments
4theLoveofAnime
I really canβt with Leo right nowπ©
Jesse Gibson
He really sucks at it but at least he pushed on and worked through it sigh he finally got his real meaning across
