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The Mist Vol 3 Chapter 62
🕑 Added 2024-10-03 04:00:26 +0000 UTCVol 3 Chapter 62
"Yes. You've improved from before. But there's nothing better than before either."
"Pardon?"
Surprised by the firm words, Kapros looked at the Master Instructor, and an unexpected statement came flying.
"Mu-heon. I don't know what motivated you to pick up the sword again. Just making that decision was taking a big step forward. But knowing you, I would have expected you to be obsessed with the sword to the point of exhaustion after that. Yet lately, I've been observing that once you've improved to a certain extent, you keep avoiding going any further."
"That's not true!"
Even knowing it was disrespectful, Kapros interrupted and shouted. The Master Instructor's clear eyes, unreadable in their thoughts, stared directly at him.
"Is what I'm saying wrong?"
"No. It's just that I didn't have enough time, so it took longer to adapt."
"Not enough time? Why is that?"
Despite the calm voice, there was a frost-like feeling that made Kapros grit his teeth. As he couldn't answer, the Master Instructor quietly continued.
"Well. Even if that's the case, there's one thing I want to ask you."
"...Yes."
"Mu-heon... You told me before that you didn't care about Seung-jo's return, but isn't that not actually true?"
The moment he heard those words, Kapros felt as if he'd been hit on the head. It was a fact that he himself had realized when he saw Jeong Seung-jo appear as Caesar in MIST, but it was also something he absolutely didn't want to admit.
Despite feeling indescribable emotions rising in his chest, he hadn't tried to think about it further or speak of it, so how did the Master Instructor know? Only after a long while could Kapros barely speak, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles showed.
"What... do you mean?"
"I said Seung-jo, but to be precise, I'm talking about the past. The words you exchanged with that guy when he returned before, I thought they came from you regaining faith in yourself and standing up again. I believed that was why you didn't show much agitation even when Seung-jo reappeared. In fact, you even showed proper swordsmanship not long ago. That made me happy too, of course. But Mu-heon."
The Master Instructor exhaled softly and continued.
"Recently, I don't think that appearance alone is truly you overcoming the past. Could you really forget everything so easily? If you truly gained faith in yourself, why does the anxiety in your eyes increase as you hold the sword?"
Though asking calmly, the Master Instructor's eyes held pain as he finished his last words.
"Moving forward by overcoming the past and burying it are different. Aren't they?"
Only after hearing all of the Master Instructor's words did a long sigh escape Kapros. He had thought the Master Instructor's first question was about his confusion after meeting Jeong Seung-jo again and his efforts not to think about it, but it wasn't that; he was talking about the past related to him.
"No... I came to think that, due to some trigger, it was better to take one more step forward rather than living in pain..."
Kapros answered slowly, gradually recalling his memories.
Yes. Thanks to the new encounters he had through MIST, he had come to think that it was better to do what he could as his current self rather than continuing to dwell on the past and suffer. At the same time, he wanted the biggest proof that he could overcome the past, and he wanted to pick up the sword again, which was what he had loved most and was the symbol of the past that tormented him most, so he challenged himself to do so. And he succeeded.
"And..."
Behind that ability to do so, the main reason was that he thought the past could no longer have any influence on him.
'...Huh?'
As he slowly opened his mouth and then completely stopped, repeating the thought he just had, Kapros felt something very strange.
"And..."
'I thought the past could no longer have any influence on me'? But wasn't that... already shattered when he met Jeong Seung-jo again overnight?
Until now, Kapros had been training and living thinking he had stepped away from the past. But how had it been after meeting Jeong Seung-jo, the biggest point of his past, in reality?
Hadn't he forcibly shaken off thoughts related to him, and even avoided revealing who he was?
If he had answered the Master Instructor with the arrogant thought that he would never meet him again and that he was just that kind of guy, full of confidence, hadn't that confidence he had put forward already disappeared when he met him again?
'What... is this.'
As if a dam that had barely been holding back the water had burst, Kapros couldn't even open his mouth at the sudden rush of chilling sensation.
Wasn't what he had been trying to forget not the past, but the fact that his confidence was already broken? Was this truly the behavior of someone who had 'overcome the past'? If he had really overcome it, shouldn't he have naturally revealed who he was the moment he met Jeong Seung-jo? Had he ever properly thought about those things that boiled in his chest every time he saw Caesar, those things he had refused to look at? The hatred and sense of betrayal towards that guy, and also the intense feelings of familiarity and painful memories...!
Suddenly, the thoughts he had forcibly blocked burst forth like a flood, unorganized, and Kapros had to stop speaking.
Why did he have the accident? Was it Seung-jo's fault? Had he ever tried to contact him to talk again after that? Why did he keep thinking he needed to train with the sword in the first place? Was it because he loved the sword so much that he didn't want to give up despite having strong trauma? Or was it because he wanted to prove as quickly as possible that he wasn't much different from his old self by picking up the sword again? Why? Because he still couldn't forget his high school memories?
What was the reason he didn't want to play THE MIST at first? Had he gone crazy, falling into the sweet illusion of being able to walk without even properly being on guard? When he first met people again and thought he had gained the strength to move towards the future because of that warmth, what the hell kind of strength did he think he had gained?
