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Of Arms and Arcane: Chapter 213
🕑 Added 2025-03-29 18:59:22 +0000 UTCI arrived at the Eldermere estate, introduced myself to the gate guards, and was ushered to the back garden by one of the butlers, where tables and chairs were set up. There, just like in the drawing from Stanton’s info packet, I saw my target talking to three other noble lordlings. In fact, that was all there were; I was expecting more people given the number of tables and chairs set up.
When I entered the back garden, the butler heralded me, “Lord Luke of House Ironcrest.”
Upon me being heralded, Evanheart turned to me with sparkling eyes and called out to me, “Lord Luke, welcome to my humble estate. Please, do come in and join us.”
When I reached them, Evanheart put his arm around my shoulder like we were buddies and turned to the three other nobles, “Guys, this is who I was talking about. It is not official, but this is the youngest knight in the kingdom. Makes me want to get knighted too.”
Wait, why is he being so chummy? Is this motherfuker showing me off as some kind of conversation starter?
As the other three nobles bombarded me with questions too fast for me to answer, I took the opportunity to cut in and derail the conversation. I purposely put on a confused face as I looked around, then turned to Evanheart, “Where is everyone else? This gathering looks a bit… empty.”
At my question, Evanheart and the three other nobles chuckled, “This is normal. Most others like to be fashionably late to functions. You are just early. Very early in fact.” one of the other nobles said.
“I will keep that in mind. I am more used to keeping appointments on time.” I replied, and they laughed at it like I said the funniest thing in the world, must be some kind of in joke.
Before they finished laughing, a butler announced another guest who turned out to be a rather beautiful young lady. This time, Evanheart went to greet her, and I took the opportunity to excuse myself to use the privy to freshen up.
As I was being guided to the privy by one of the house’s servants, I scoped out the test of the back garden and the inside of the manor.
When I had some privacy inside the privy, I dropped my pants and took out the items I needed for this job in case the opportunity to strike showed up. As for where i hid the items… let's just say the edges of the small box holding the ampule did not feel good on my ass crack, and my little brother had another pipe beside it.
I was afraid that I would be frisked for security purposes, so I hid the items in places that would be improper for a member of nobility to be touched. Turns out that my precaution and discomfort were for naught.
After pocketing the ampule and recording artifact in more accessible pockets, I started to brainstorm how I may pull off the stinkbombing of Evanheart, preferably without collateral damage to anyone, but no matter how much I pondered, I came to the realisation that I just did not have enough information in his movement pattern.
This means I will have to stay on longer at this party, and… socialize… the horror. But I have a job to do, and I will see it done. My family needs that money, and to get that money, I need a satisfied client.
When I returned to the garden, more guests had arrived, and once again, Evanheart caught sight of me and started showing me off to his other guests and saying things like, “If I’d taken up the sword, half the knights in this kingdom would be polishing my armor instead of wearing their own.” or “Lucky for the knights, I chose fine wine over cold steel—else they’d have no careers left.” or the worse one of all, “If Lord Luke can become a knight at the age of thirteen, I would have been a knight commander by now. ~sigh~ the standards of the military in the kingdom must be slipping”
I just kept silent while this retard run his mouth. Most of the lordlings laughed along with his boastful jokes, but I could see a few other lordlings who had calluses on their hands just gave a polite smile to his jokes, or just kept a straight face.
Personally, I wanted to punt the limp dicked milksop over the manor. At first, I kind of felt bad for what I was about to do to the kid… wait, he is not a kid. The bastard is twenty-two years old and throwing his father’s money around like it was sand! At this point, I lost all sympathy for Evanheart and would gladly do this stinkbomb job.
But that still begs the question, how am I going to get the Dreadmusk Stalker musk on him… that's when I got an idea.
As Evanheart was still parading me around and subtly throwing jabs at being knighted. I carefully fished the ampule from its protective box and kept it in my hand. I had to be very gentle with it as I could feel how thin the break-off neck of the ampule was. The slightest push could snap the break-off neck, allowing the stinky liquid to pour out, and I was counting on it.
As Evanheart tried to guide me to another group to talk trash and boost his ego, I pretended to walk in the wrong direction, slightly bumped into him, and seized the opportunity to slip the ampule into his breast pocket. “Oh, sorry about that.” I said innocently.
For a split second, I saw a scowl on his face, but he schooled his features to that of his usual dandy self. “Not a problem, my friend. Come, this way, have you ever met Viscount Visor’s son?” he asked as he led me to another group.
After showing me off to another group, I excused myself to the privy once again. Evanheart looked disgruntled for a split second, but nodded as he walked off to search for another group to mingle with.
The moment he took his eyes off of me, I turned and walked behind a group of lordlings talking with each other, and followed Evanheart from a few meters diagonally behind him. I then stopped by an empty table, took out the small recording spyglass artifact, and held it by my side, pointing at Evanheart.
When I was ready, I channeled mana into the spyglass and kicked the grassy earth at my feet with the tip of my boot. Using my instinctive magic, that small kick sent earth mana through the ground, causing the once flat grassy turf to form a small chunk that jutted up barely two inches just in front of Evanheart’s foot, tripping him and causing him to fall face-first onto the ground. Before he even hit the ground, the chunk that had tripped him receded and returned to being flat.
Immediately, a few other nobles came over to help Evanheart up on his feet, and when they did so, they immediately recoiled from Evanheart, and on his breast pocket, I could see a growing wetspot. My plan worked! The ampule broke!
A second later, I saw Evanheart’s eyes water and his nose wrinkled before he doubled over and threw up. And in a growing radius from Evanheart, the other lordlings were either repelled by the foul smell or threw up on the spot.
Seeing that something was wrong, all the knights and bodyguards who were standing off to the side rushed in to secure their charges, and even these men were doing it with watery eyes as the stench was stinging their eyes. Even I was forced to retreat to a further distance while continuing to record the chaos.
As the Eldermere knights tried to get to Evanheart without throwing up in their helmets, the head butler came out to apologize and announce the end of the gathering. I followed the crowd to avoid suspicion while filming as much as possible.
When I was out of line of sight from Evanheart, I discreetly pocketed the spyglass and exited the premises with Dad’s knights in tow.
When I returned to the inn, I had decided I had to dispose of what I was wearing because even if none of the Dreadmusk Stalker musk got onto me, the stench alone got into my clothes.
So, I once again called up the inn staff to draw a hot bath for me and asked one of Dad’s knights to help buy some soap with strong floral scents to combat any stink I got on me.
While waiting for my bath to be drawn, I took out my Steward’s Guild card and injected mana into it, signaling the compilation of my job. My first completed mission, and I did damned a good job, if I say so myself. All that's left to do now is get paid.
