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Chapter 215: As long as you’re here
🕑 Added 2025-11-04 22:05:16 +0000 UTCAfter showering and helping each other dry their hair, Qin Yu sat on the bed, pressing her White Cat plushie while gazing at the starry sky outside the window.
Beside her, Shenhe watched the side of Qin Yu's face.
Sometimes, Qin Yu would stare into the distance like this, lost in thought. But whenever Shenhe asked, "What are you thinking about?" Qin Yu would snap out of it, smile, and reply, "Oh, nothing. Just spacing out a bit."
Compared to their initial meeting, they had now grown much closer. Yet Shenhe couldn't shake the feeling that Qin Yu still seemed to keep some distance from her.
"Shenhe, are you tired?" Qin Yu asked.
"Not really. Do you want to sleep?"
Qin Yu nodded.
So much had happened today. Even though she had already napped twice, the moment she relaxed, drowsiness naturally crept in.
Shenhe said softly, "Then I'll turn off the light."
"Mm..."
Getting too used to this darkness, which should be unusual, isn't good, Qin Yu thought.
But considering Shenhe's sleep, turning off the light would make it easier for her to drift off than leaving it on. So she could only respond vaguely.
After turning off the light, Qin Yu burrowed into her blankets, placing the White Cat plush on the bedside table to avoid messing it up during her restless sleep.
Tomorrow, it's back to work, Qin Yu thought, a sudden wave of reluctance washing over her.
I can't invite Shenhe over for sleepovers every day off.
Living together... no, that's impossible. Maintaining the act constantly would be too exhausting.
"Good night, Shenhe," Qin Yu said with a gentle smile.
"Good night," Shenhe replied.
Qin Yu closed her eyes.
Just sleep.
Some time passed.
...I can't sleep! Qin Yu mentally screamed in frustration. She felt drowsy and physically tired, but her mind was racing like a party in full swing, thoughts surging endlessly and making it impossible to drift off.
There's no other way. I'll have to use the Anesthetic Pistol.
The Anesthetic Pistol fired with a barely audible puff, and with the noise-reducing effect of her "Silent Killer" device, it shouldn't wake Shenhe.
Qin Yu reached for the Anesthetic Pistol and was about to inject herself when Shenhe's voice suddenly came from beside her.
"Can't sleep?"
Qin Yu jumped in surprise. "Wah!? You're awake too, Shenhe?"
"I just woke up," Shenhe replied softly. "I'm a light sleeper and kept hearing you tossing and turning, which roused me."
Qin Yu blushed awkwardly. "I... I'm sorry for waking you."
Shenhe shook her head. "It's alright. I wasn't particularly tired anyway... though I could sleep if I wanted to. If you can't sleep, why don't we chat for a while? Maybe talking will help you drift off."
Qin Yu glanced back and forth between the Anesthetic Pistol in her hand and Shenhe beside her.
"No need, I have this! Ta-da! The Instant Sleep Pistol!" If I said that and then shot myself with it, I'd definitely fall asleep instantly.
But that would fast-forward time straight to morning.
Overcome by a sense of reluctance, Qin Yu put away the Anesthetic Pistol and turned to face Shenhe.
After holding her gaze for a moment, Qin Yu awkwardly looked away. "Then... then let's chat for a bit. But I don't know what to talk about. What about you, Shenhe?"
"I... I wanted to tell you about what happened after I went to the Main Family."
Qin Yu fell silent.
Must she really talk about this? But if I say directly that I don't want to hear it, Shenhe might sense something's wrong.
Not wanting to reveal her inner turmoil, Qin Yu gave a slight nod.
Shenhe organized her memories and began, "When I arrived at the Main Family, they were astonished to see me. Though they'd heard I was still alive, they remained skeptical until they saw me in person. None of them had expected me to survive that incident."
"And then?" Qin Yu asked.
"After the initial shock came delight. They welcomed me warmly, and to be honest... I felt rather overwhelmed, struggling to respond with the proper etiquette."
Qin Yu forced a smile. "It seems they really adore you."
"Is that so?"
"It must be!" Qin Yu insisted.
Shenhe pondered for a moment. "I'm not entirely sure, but they were indeed very enthusiastic. They insisted on giving me gifts, even when I declined. They seemed genuinely eager, only hampered by my sudden arrival and their lack of preparation."
"Ahahaha, they sound like such good people!"
"Mm... They asked me a lot of things. Though they didn't ask for the specifics of what happened, they wanted to know how I survived and how I cultivated myself to become who I am today, with this white hair."
Qin Yu mumbled in response, "Mm."
The atmosphere is really nice, she thought.
Qin Yu wanted to burrow completely under the covers.
Even though this was a good thing for Shenhe, she couldn't feel any joy. She could only keep her facial muscles moving, trying to piece together an appropriate expression.
Shenhe continued sharing details, and Qin Yu mechanically echoed with "Oh—" or "Mm..." or "That's great!"
"They invited me to dinner, but I declined."
"That's great... Wait, you declined? Why?" Qin Yu couldn't suppress the sudden burst of elation and leaned closer to ask Shenhe.
"I'm not used to their warmth, so I refused," Shenhe explained.
"I-I see."
Qin Yu sank back into her gloom. She had thought there might be a special reason.
Shenhe's relatives seemed quite nice. In comparison, her own... Forget it, I don't want to think about those wretched people.
Speaking of which, since Shenhe's relatives were so kind, warm-hearted, and fond of her, and given that she's the only one left in her collateral branch, would they suggest she return to the Main Family?
The moment this thought surfaced, Qin Yu felt a surge of unease.
Too uneasy to ignore it, Qin Yu forced herself to ask, "Did they ask you to return to the Main Family?"
"Yes."
Beneath the covers, Qin Yu curled up slightly.
"This—this is wonderful news! Shenhe, did you... accept?" Qin Yu asked, her spirits lifting.
Shenhe gazed quietly at Qin Yu, her mind drifting back to that conversation.
-
"U-Uh... A-Auntie, I didn't expect you to visit our home so suddenly," Chongyun stammered, standing awkwardly, unsure whether to sit or remain standing. His ice-blue hair shone in the light as he looked both embarrassed and confused.
"Hmm, I'm somewhat interested in the Main Family, so I came," Shenhe replied calmly.
The young man's name was Chongyun, a member of the Main Family.
Technically, he was Shenhe's nephew, and she was his aunt. But given their relatively close ages, Chongyun found it impossible to associate the word "Auntie" with her.
He was also the Main Family member Shenhe had encountered earlier.
"Interested, huh? So, what's your impression of our family—the Main Family?" he asked.
"Very welcoming."
"Ha ha, that's just how the elders are," Chongyun said, scratching his head.
"No, this awkward small talk isn't getting anywhere... I should just get straight to the point. Why did the elders have me ask about this? Sigh..."
After muttering to himself, Chongyun said earnestly, "Actually, the elders want you, A-Auntie, to return to the Main Family. Even though you're a distant relative from the Collateral Branch, that's only because your parents lived elsewhere and you didn't grow up with us."
"The family elders have heard about what happened to you, and they feel guilty for not being able to help you before."
Shenhe shook her head. "They couldn't have known what happened anyway. There's no need for them to feel guilty."
"Even so, we're still family. So... what do you think? If you agree, you'll officially become a member of the Main Family from now on."
"The Main Family can also serve as your place of belonging in the mortal world—ah, of course, even if you don't accept, the Main Family will always be your place of belonging. You can visit us anytime, and the elders would be delighted."
Shenhe listened in silence for a moment.
"When you say 'member of the Main Family,' do you mean... family?" she asked.
Chongyun seemed caught off guard by her question, his eyes widening as he stammered, "Y-yes! That's exactly it! We'll all accept you."
Acceptance.
Family.
Place of belonging.
Shenhe chewed on these words before finally responding.
-
"I refused," Shenhe replied casually.
Qin Yu froze, stunned.
Refused? She refused! Like dark clouds parting to reveal the sun, Qin Yu's despondent mood instantly brightened, her heart blooming with joy. She nearly burst into a radiant smile.
Evaluation: A+
Qin Yu couldn't resist leaning closer, her curiosity piqued. "Why did you refuse?" she asked.
Ah, could it be she said something like, "I'm already a person of the mountains and fields"? After all, it's Shenhe. It wouldn't be surprising if she said something like that.
Shenhe watched Qin Yu draw closer, then reached out to gently stroke her hair.
Think before you act, Shenhe. Use your words, not your hands.
Qin Yu mentally urged Shenhe to explain her refusal. As if responding to her unspoken desire, Shenhe spoke again.
"They said I could return to the Main Family, become one of their own, and that the Main Family would accept me as my rightful place in the human world."
Qin Yu's initial joy dimmed at these words, her mood clouding over once more. Shenhe's relatives really were kind. If she had accepted, wouldn't her life have been much better?
"But I don't need that."
Shenhe's words made Qin Yu look up, and the moment their eyes met, her heart began to pound even faster.
She doesn't need it?
Evaluation: S
"I already have a family and a place to belong."
Already has? Could she be referring to...? A vivid blush spread across Qin Yu's cheeks.
Evaluation: SS-
Shenhe thought it would be best to smile at this moment. Imitating Qin Yu once more, she revealed her second smile.
"You are my family and my place to belong. I won't go anywhere else, so I don't need it."
Evaluation: SS+
Shenhe's words and voice swept through Qin Yu's heart like a storm, clearing away all the shadows and leaving only a blank, dazed emptiness.
After a brief moment of stunned silence, Qin Yu's entire body grew hot. Her rapidly surging emotions not only dyed her face a crimson so deep it seemed ready to drip blood, but also melted away all her thoughts, filling her heart with scalding-sweet syrup.
Snapping back to awareness, Qin Yu realized she was already holding Shenhe tightly in her arms.
She tried to speak, but her tongue seemed to have gone haywire, unable to form coherent sentences. Tears streamed uncontrollably from her eyes.
Shenhe was slightly surprised by Qin Yu's reaction, but mostly warmed by it.
As she returned Qin Yu's embrace, a slight stinging sensation suddenly pierced her neck.
Realizing she had been bitten, Shenhe asked, puzzled, "Why did you bite me?"
"...Does it hurt?"
"No, but I don't understand."
Qin Yu herself wasn't entirely sure why she had suddenly felt compelled to do it, but seeing the faint mark on Shenhe's neck filled her with an inexplicable sense of satisfaction.
"I won't tell you," Qin Yu teased with a smile.
Shenhe nodded gently. "I see... Qin Yu, what do you think of me?"
"What do you mean?"
"To you, am I family?" This was the only question Shenhe truly wanted answered.
Qin Yu's mind went into turmoil again at Shenhe's question. Recalling Shenhe's earlier words made her want to burrow under the covers and never come out again.
She didn't want to answer, but she had to. Qin Yu whispered, "I... no... I want to... become."
"Want? I don't understand," Shenhe said.
"B-because I still have so many unresolved issues. I can't accept it right now," Qin Yu said with difficulty.
"......"
Shenhe felt a slight pang in her heart. What unresolved issues was Qin Yu referring to? Why couldn't she accept it without resolving them? She still didn't understand, but since Qin Yu had said it, she would accept it.
"I understand."
Sensing Shenhe's faint disappointment, Qin Yu blurted out without thinking:
"Even though we can't right now, we could start as... roommates first."
Ugh, what on earth did I just say?
Roommates? Does that mean we'd actually be living together? Can I take back what I just said? Qin Yu clung to the slim hope that Shenhe hadn't heard her.
"Roommates?"
She heard.
Ah, screw it! Qin Yu threw caution to the wind. "Yes, roommates! Which means... living together first to see how it goes... O-of course, not right now! This apartment only has one bedroom..."
"Why not just sleep together?" Shenhe asked, her voice tinged with genuine confusion.
No, no, no! Just occasionally... no, wait, we're only sleeping together because there's no bed. If we had another bed, we wouldn't be sharing! That's why we need a second bed.
Qin Yu hurriedly added, "But Shenhe, you must want your own room too, right?"
"I don't mind."
I mind!
Qin Yu had no choice but to say firmly, "Anyway, we'll talk about it later!"
"Mm... okay, I understand. I'll look forward to it."
Qin Yu wanted to glare at Shenhe, but she knew Shenhe would just tilt her head and ask, "What's wrong?"—a reaction that would completely deflate her. Sighing, she lay back down.
"Let's just sleep..." she said.
"Mm."
Qin Yu rolled over, turning her back to Shenhe, and closed her eyes.
"Qin Yu."
"What is it?"
Spare me.
Shenhe whispered softly, "Good night."
"...Good night."
Despite the emotional rollercoaster she'd just been on, Qin Yu felt surprisingly light now, almost like she could float away. She should be able to get a good night's sleep.
Living together, huh?
She never imagined things would turn out like this.
And what she never expected even more was that she would actually want Shenhe to be part of her family. No, she'd felt that way since Shenhe first said those strange things, she'd just been lying to herself all along.
Family... A warmth spread through Qin Yu's chest, yet uneasiness still lingered.
Though she still wanted to throw her past self into the sea and demand why she had set such a difficult challenge for her future self, expecting her to accept Shenhe right away was impossible.
Nor could she bear to hurt Shenhe's feelings. That wasn't something she should do.
So, living together wouldn't be perfect, but it wouldn't be terrible either.
Right, I'll use this opportunity to test Shenhe, Qin Yu thought. I'll see how she reacts to my true self. As for maintaining the act, there must be a way!
Probably.
As Qin Yu pondered this, a flicker of anticipation stirred within her.
What if I mess it up?
Ah—um—never mind.
She'd leave it to her future self.
That night, Qin Yu had a dream.
"Ah, it fell..."
Little Qin Yu gazed at the toppled wooden blocks, tears welling up.
Across from her, young Shenhe watched silently.
"I'm sorry, Shenhe. I'm so clumsy."
"..."
"Why aren't you saying anything? Do you think I'm a nuisance?"
"...Mm."
"Ehh... Shenhe, do you hate me now?"
Little Shenhe lifted her head, paused for a moment, then finally spoke:
"It's good to be a nuisance."
"Good? Why?"
"I want you to trouble me more."
Shenhe pulled out a towel and gently wiped Qin Yu's tear-streaked face as she spoke: "Let me know I'm someone you can depend on."
The next day.
Shenhe prepared breakfast, and after Qin Yu finished eating, she changed her clothes.
"Uh... I-I'm going to work," Qin Yu stammered, recalling the events of the previous night.
Shenhe nodded calmly. "I'll clean up the dishes and leave."
"Ah, okay... Then take this." Qin Yu pulled out a spare key and handed it to Shenhe.
"Remember to keep it safe," Qin Yu said, turning her face away.
"I will."
Qin Yu waved goodbye and walked out the door, Shenhe's gaze following her.
As she reached the entrance, Qin Yu finally exhaled deeply.
Is cohabitation really going to be okay? she wondered, thinking about her awkward and flustered reaction earlier. What will the future hold?
