How to ADHD
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What is your experience with accountability?
🕑 Added 2024-11-21 22:49:17 +0000 UTCHello, Brains & Hearts!
We're working on an episode about accountability and so we wanted to pose the questions....
What do you view accountability as?
What do you do to hold yourself accountable?
Or how do you help someone else with accountability?
What are your experiences on what worked?
What types of accountability didn't work for you and why?
What types of accountability worked for you?
Let us know in the comments below!!
Comments
annag
I am curious to hear thoughts on the interplay (especially for some AuDHD people) between [extreme/pervasive sensitivity to demands and consent (sometimes called pathological demand avoidance)] and [expectations that accountability is universally helpful, and is especially so for ADHD people].
Linda Fisher
This is a great topic -- definitely one I struggle with. When I ask to be held accountable, I often find myself coming from a place of deficit and then using shame as a motivator. I'm concerned that accountability doesn't necessarily help at the systems level since I still end up struggling to do The Thing. For me, processing a difficult task with someone in real time tends to be a more productive approach. I'm learning to ask for a collaborator, rather than an accountability buddy.
ADHD reWired
I love this topic and question and presented on this very topic at the CHADD conference. I look at accountability as a strategy for ADHD as simply accounting for what I did or didn't do based on my previously shared intentions. I think accountability as part of a socially supported strategy for ADHD and it’s driven by self-advocacy & self-determination, and interdependence. It is feminist. There are no power imbalances. It is not punitive. And it is NOT shaming, and it's relationship based. Suppose we understand ADHD as the disorder of good intentions, and our actions don't always line up with our intentions. In that case, I think it can be very challenging to hold ourselves accountable, and the framework of holding ourselves accountable may have some elements of internalized ableism in it. I think it's also important to understand the difference between accountability and co-dependence because I find that these often get confused. For example, asking somebody else to remind me to do something would be codependence because it's putting the responsibility on the other person. If I share with someone that I need to do something at a certain time, I will tell them when I will let them know that I did the thing. I will also ask them to follow up with me if they haven't heard from me. The big distinction here is that the onus for reporting primarily falls on me as a person needing accountability. I have a lot of other thoughts about this, but this is not what I meant to be doing at this moment so I will leave it here. Hope this helps, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this.
