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Harry Potter Squib Tales Chapter 52
🕑 Added 2024-09-30 17:01:01 +0000 UTCChapter 52: Valentine’s Debacle
It was several weeks after my brilliant idea to combine arithmancy and runes with computer codes and I was back at the office, working on something I’d wanted to do for a while, now.
“Inky, Dobby, thank you both for coming,” I said, looking at the two House Elves who’d appeared in front of my desk when I’d called for them. Remus was standing nearby, watching things with an intrigued expression on his face. He knew about my idea and even supported it, and was curious to see if it would play out like I hoped it would.
“Of course! Young Master Eddy called us, and we answered!” Inky said, Dobby bobbing his head in agreement, causing his ears to flap wildly.
“So, I have a few things I wished to discuss. The first is getting more House Elves. You two have been a blessing, but as my company grows, we’ll need more.”
“That won’t be easy, Young Master,” Inky said, a sad frown on his face. “Other House Elves do not often leave their homeses.”
“True, but that is a long-term plan,” I admitted. “The second item is just as important, and the one we can deal with now.”
As the House Elves tilted their heads to the side, I took out a sheet of paper from my desk and passed it over to Inky. He and Dobby looked at it curiously. On the paper were a different couple of drawings of outfits, sized to fit House Elves.
They were tuxedos with sharp dress pants designed to look like cute little butlers crossed with a bellhop’s uniform. Very cute.
“I know it’s against the rules for House Elves to receive clothes from their owners, but there is nothing that says House Elves can’t make their own clothes,” I said. “As I said, my company is going to grow. And having employees – which you two are – means they also have to look good and present themselves properly. I can’t have employees wearing literal rags.”
“D-does this mean… we can haves regular clothes?” Dobby asked, looking up at me with wide, watery eyes.
“Yes, it does,” I nodded. “Harry agrees with me on this. Go ahead! Make your own outfits! That design is what I think would be best for you two to wear when working. I took your preferences into account.”
“M-master Eddy!” Inky gasped happily. “Y-you mean it?”
“I do. Inky, Dobby, feel free to make your own clothes,” I said with a nod. Both of them trembled before bursting into tears of joy, touched by my kindness.
“I’m surprised,” Remus said after the House Elves stopped bawling and popped away to grab materials to make their new outfits. “You actually pulled it off.”
“It helps that I’m not technically either of their… I hate to use the word ‘master,’ but it is what it is,” I replied. “I’m glad that it worked.”
I leaned back in my seat. “Plus, they will look snazzy dressed up like that!”
“True, those little uniforms you drew were very cute,” Remus agreed.
“Now, I have a date tonight,” I declared. “It’s Valentines Day, after all.”
“No need to rub it in,” the werewolf said, rolling his eyes.
“Sure, sure, you and Sirius enjoy Singles Appreciation Day,” I drawled. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
“No worries about that,” Remus snorted.
I waved him off and then left my office to get ready for my date with Delilah back at the apartment.
The two of us had been going strong, having dates on and off all the time, as well as meeting up while on campus at Oxford. We both had our own circles we ran in, but we had some overlap. Eating lunch together every Tuesday was nice.
Dressing up in a nice outfit for my date tonight – not too fancy, but not too casual – I headed out and hailed a cab, which dropped me off at the place we’d chosen for the first part of our date; the movie theatre. Afterwards, we’d hit up a nice restaurant.
I spotted Delilah standing near the entrance and walked over to her, greeting her with a wave.
“My lady, your chariot awaits,” I said, giving Delilah a cheesy grin as I offered her my arm. She grinned back.
“That’s not much of a chariot,” she snickered, glancing at my arm.
“But I am a wild ride,” I shot back, waggling my eyebrows. She snorted in amusement at that, but took the offered limb.
It was a bit unconventional to watch a horror movie for a Valentine’s date, but we both wanted to see Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and we weren’t the only couples in the movie theatre watching it. Horror flicks were a great way to have ladies cuddle up into your side, after all.
Afterwards, we went to a restaurant I’d made reservations at. It was a nice place. Good cozy atmosphere, not too expensive, and it served a good salmon steak, something I knew Delilah really liked.
When dinner was finished and we both left the waiters big tips, we decided to walk around for a bit before heading back to my apartment for dessert.
Yet as we were walking down the road, I caught a glimpse in a window’s reflection of four faces peering out at us from across the street. And they way they were looking at us gave me a bad feeling in my gut.
“You know, I’ve seen those men twice this evening in different places,” Delilah whispered into my ear, having noticed them as well. “Near the movie theatre and when we were headed to the restaurant.”
“Kidnappers? Again?” I asked incredulously, trying not to glare at the men in the window’s reflection, lest it give away the fact I was on to them.
“Could be,” Delilah replied, also doing her best to avoid looking at the quartet. “Though they could just be observing us.”
“Why?” I wondered.
“Maybe my father wants to keep an eye on me, make sure I don’t do anything to ‘disgrace the Hunt name,’ or maybe it’s Sir Briar trying to spy on you to steal secrets,” Delilah shrugged.
I grunted at that. Mr. Hunt was an unpleasant man. He was very prickly and considered anything that might stain his honor, or rather, his bizarre and backwards definition of honor, to be an evil to be stamped out, ignored, or mistreated until it could be useful to him.
That, unfortunately, often included his wife and daughter, both of whom he seemed to despise. Mrs. Hunt for having an affair – even though it wasn’t her fault at all Lucius Malfoy had abused her in secret, erasing her mind with magic after the fact – and Delilah for being born of said ‘affair.’ It was an uncomfortable situation, but I put up with it because Mr. Hunt had connections I could make use of. And also because I liked Delilah, and she loved her mother, who still loved her husband despite everything.
And Sir Briar was a bitter old man with nothing in his life but his job. His son had passed away in the Blitz back in World War Two, and his wife had died in the seventies. Unfortunately, he was one of my ‘sponsors,’ so I had to put up with him, but he was often trying to uncover the secrets behind my medicines. Several times he’d tried to slip spies into my factories, but the wards and employment contracts caught them all. He also wasn’t a Squib as I’d first assumed based on his enchanted rings, but I still didn’t know how he’d gotten them, or what they did.
Thankfully, his industrial espionage was laughable thanks to my magical defenses courtesy of Inky and Remus Lupin, but it was growing annoying. Also, he’d been the one behind my kidnapping a while back, and I had my suspicions he’d also been responsible for Delilah’s kidnapping as well two Christmases ago.
But I would continue to put up with the decrepit ghoul until I’d gotten what I wanted out of him. And Sir Briar couldn’t possibly live for much longer, right? He was in his eighties, after all!
Yet as Delilah and I tried to continue having a nice date, those four men following us was starting to grate on our nerves. They’d also gotten bolder, trying to sneak closer to us.
“Inky,” I whispered under my breath. “Take Delilah and I to the Interrogation Room.”
Delilah and I vanished with a pop, appearing inside a seemingly rundown storage room inside a warehouse. But it was a lot more than just that. Runes had been carved into the walls and wards had been erected all over the building, turning what seemed to be a run-down, abandoned site into a secret, hidden facility for more clandestine endeavors I didn’t want the public to see. Such as interrogating wannabe kidnappers.
We walked a couple feet away from where we’d appeared, then turned back to face the center of the warehouse.
“Inky, please bring those four men who were trailing us here as well,” I requested, and a second later four very confused gentlemen appeared where we’d initially first stood.
I took advantage of their bewildered state and flung a few Paralysis Ofuda that acted the same as the Petrificus Totalus spell, completely immobilizing the target. The slips of paper zipped through the air, slamming into the four men and knocking them down while their bodies seized up and went deathly still. They looked very uncomfortable lying there, but I didn’t really care.
I approached the group, then looked down at the men who’d been tailing us with an annoyed expression.
“You bastards tried to ruin our date,” I hissed, squatting down in front of one of them.
He couldn’t speak, just stare fearfully up at me. The talisman removing all outward ability to move his body, including that of his tongue, though he could still breath through his nose.
“Now, then,” I said, folding my arms as Delilah joined me at my side in glaring at them. “You’re going to tell me what you were doing, and who hired you.”
I took out a new Ofuda and slapped it onto the man’s face. It undid the paralysis on his head and he let out a gasp as he was finally able to move his jaw again.
“Y-you bastard! What did you do?!” he shrieked.
“Buddy, you’re not the person asking the questions, here,” I said with a chuckle.
“Up yours!” the rather vocal man hissed. He then tried a new tactic. “Hey! Help! Somebody!”
“No one is going to hear you,” I tutted.
“Let me try,” Delilah asked. “Can I have one of you Confounding talismans?”
I nodded and passed the request item over. This Ofuda had the power of the Confundus charm, which was essentially akin to getting somebody super drunk. They’d be confused and disoriented for a bit, and during that time, their lips were a lot looser.
Delilah slapped the Ofuda onto the man’s face, where it began to glow. I smiled as I watched that. As a fellow Squib, Delilah was able to use runes and talismans as well, and I’d made sure to provide her with plenty of both to protect her.
“Tell me why you were after me,” she demanded.
“W-we were hired to kidnap you two…”
“By whom?” Delilah asked.
“I-it was Marky Fetters…”
“Who’s Marky Fetters?” I wondered. That sounded like a fake name. Or the name of somebody from the Wizarding World.
“C-crime boss… big name in London,” the goon sputtered out, eyes glazed.
We asked a few more questions, but there wasn’t much else to discover. They were thugs, but weren’t even part of Marky’s gang, just a couple of street toughs who were used for smash and grab jobs by the various criminals in town who didn’t want their names associated with themselves.
Marky Fetters was also, contrary to initial claims, actually a small timer, but he worked for bigger, meaner names as an intermediately and third-party.
“Seems we’ll have to pay this fellow a visit in the future,” I grumbled while slapping Obliviate Ofuda onto the mens’ heads. “And impress on him the folly of messing with me and my own.”
“Agreed,” Delilah nodded.
I stepped back and activated the Ofuda, wiping the last hour from their minds. When they woke in a few minutes, the paralysis would be gone and they’d have no clue they’d been interrogated.
I ordered Inky to take them to a random alleyway in London, and when the four were popped away I grunted in annoyance.
“Well, that was frustrating,” Delilah sighed, before hooking her arm around mine. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
“Sure. Inky, could you please take us back to my apartment?” I requested. There was a pop, we blinked, and voila, we were standing in my living room.
“Thank you, Inky,” Delilah said, smiling at the elderly House Elf. “I love your new uniform, by the way.”
I nodded in agreement, causing the diminutive figure to blush. He’d gotten the uniform whipped up in record speed, and he looked like a little butler with that tuxedo of his!
“Young Master and Young Mistress be too kind,” he said, ducking his head. I just grinned.
“Glad you like it,” I said. “I hope you and Dobby – as well as any other House Elves we recruit in the future – enjoy wearing them. They look a lot better compared to the old rags you used.”
Inky vanished, too embarrassed to stick around and keep listening to our praise, and Delilah and I chuckled sorrowfully at that. Inky and Dobby were so unused to genuine compliments that is was honestly sad.
“Well, that wasn’t the Valentine’s Day I wanted for us to have, but I still have a box of chocolate strawberries I was going to give you if you want to just veg out on the couch for a little bit,” I offered. “I also have your favorite Pistachio ice cream.”
“That sounds lovely,” Delilah said, giving me a peck on the cheek.
I grinned and got the dessert out while she sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, finding a channel that was playing a Monty Python rerun marathon. I joined her, passing her a bowl of green ice cream with chocolate strawberries while I helped myself to some mint chocolate chip ice cream.
It was nice, spending time like this. No worries, no problems to deal with… just us.
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Two days later, I was driving up to a ‘bad’ part of town with Remus and Sirius. We’d managed to track down Marky Fetters, or at least the place he tended to do business, rather quickly. It wasn’t hard when you had magic on your side.
And, to my surprise, my bone dice had been a lot more accurate and useful than they normally were. Were they perhaps growing stronger the more I used them for divination? Perhaps picking up magical residue that improved their effects?
I didn’t know, but thanks to them, I’d been able to narrow down the location of the man who’d arranged for Delilah and my kidnapping. It was the backrooms of a nightclub, which he owned and used as a place to meet with clients and launder money from different gangs.
“I am so glad I got my driver’s license,” I muttered as I pulled up in front of the club. “Remus, you’re going to learn how to drive as well.”
“Alright,” the werewolf agreed.
“You too, Sirius,” I said, turning to the escaped felon.
“I can drive,” he retorted, a bit annoyed. “I used to own a motorcycle!”
“You owned an illegally modified flying motorcycle. That does not mean you know the first thing about the rules of the road,” I retorted. Sirius just grumbled, unable to refute my logic as we strolled up to the building.
It was the middle of the afternoon, so the club wasn’t open yet, but some quick Confundus charms from my two magical companions let us in through the back.
“Nice little office you’ve got here, Mr. Fetters,” I said strolling into his room like I owned the place. It had a desk, a potted plant, and a very racy pin-up Calander that was two years out of date.
Behind the desk was a man in his early thirties with a bald head and tattoos all over his arms. He looked up in alarm when I kicked the door open, which morphed into fury.
“Who the bloody hell are you?” Marky demanded angrily, rising from behind his desk.
“I’m Edward Rose. You sent four men to kidnap me and my girlfriend, Delilah Hunt, on Valentine’s Day,” I told him, and he paled.
He reached for a gun, but Remus was faster, flicking his wand out and casting a silent Expeliarmus at him. The handgun was sent flying across the room
“What the hell?! You’re a wizard?!” Marky shouted in horror, scrambling backwards away from me and falling onto his ass in the process. “Nobody told me that!”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re a Squib,” I guessed, and when he flinched, I knew I had my answer.
“Interesting,” I muttered. “Remus? Sirius? What do you two think?”
“I know that look,” Remus said as he looked over at me. “James and Sirius used to have that same expression whenever they were going to do something stupid and daring.”
Sirius snorted. “Oi, I resemble that remark!”
“Please don’t kill me! Or Obliviate me!” Marky begged. “I didn’t know! I was only told to bring you back here! Nothing else!”
“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you,” I told him. “But I have to make sure you don’t try and hurt me and my own again. So how about we make a deal.”
“A-a deal?” Marky stammered.
“You’re going to work for me from now on,” I said. “Congratulations, Mr. Fetters. You’re now a contractor with Cauldron Remedies.”
“I-I am?” he asked, staring up at me in bewilderment.
“Look, from one Squib to another, do you really like living like this? Working for Muggle gangs when your birthright, magic, is out of reach?” I asked him.
“Y-you’re a Squib?” he uttered. “B-but what about…”
“Mr. Lupin works for me,” I told Marky Fetters, causing him to blink in disbelief. “But back to the main topic. Magic. I can give it to you. No wand, unfortunately, but magic all the same.”
To demonstrate, I pulled out a Paralysis Ofuda, and threw it at him. His body seized up as the spell took hold, and I let him experience it for a little bit before walking over and ripping the talisman off of him.
“W-what was that?” he whispered.
“A taste of what I can do.”
“But Squibs… and the Statute of Secrecy…”
“What the Ministry doesn’t know won’t hurt them,” I replied. “And there are plenty of ways to use magic without a wand.”
I folded my arms. “However, I need you to tell me who hired you. If you don’t, then this deal ends right here, right now, and my companions will wipe your memory of the last week.”
“It was a guy named Thorton!” Marky shouted, quickly spilling the beans as soon as I stopped talking. “Tall bloke! Widow’s peak hair!”
“Thorton, huh? What else do you know about him?” I demanded.
“Nothing! He just gave me ten grand to pinch you and your bird!” Marky revealed.
“Hmm. That’s not very useful,” I said. “And seriously, only ten grand? I’m worth at least ten times that!”
“I don’t ask questions about my clients,” Marky replied with a shake of his head. “You don’t last long doing that in this business.”
“Hmm. Fair enough. Inky? Could you bring me a special contract?”
A moment later and my loyal House Elf appeared next to me, startling the information broker. Inky handed over some documents while giving Marky a dirty look, and I laid them onto the man’s desk.
“Sign here, and you will be agreeing to work for me. Any attempts to betray me to the Ministry or to reveal my secrets to anybody not already in the know will be severely punished,” I informed the other Squib.
“What’s the catch?” he demanded.
“Read it and find out,” I told him.
Cautiously he stood up, and picked up the contract. He frowned at some parts, but after a couple minutes laid it back down.
“You’ll protect me and my business interests?” he asked.
“As long as you protect me and mine,” I replied. “We will be working together, after all.”
“I can still run my club?”
“Yes. But if you ever receive another request to go after me or anyone I care about? You say ‘no,’ and then inform me immediately,” I stated.
“This is insane,” he muttered. “You really think you can sell magical crap under the nose of the Ministry?”
“I’ve already am,” I chuckled. “And they’ll have bigger things to worry about soon.”
Marky didn’t look convinced, but I gave him a confident smile. “Mr. Fetters, I have big plans. And the Wizarding World will either get out of my way or be bowled over.”
“You’re insane,” Marky Fetters muttered, before he still reached for a pen and signed his name on the contract. The ink glowed, binding him to the deal, and he slumped, feeling drained.
“Get out. Please,” he muttered, the last word spoken as an afterthought.
“Of course. I expect to see you in my office tomorrow at 10 am sharp. We’ve got a lot of work to do, after all.”
With that, I left a business card on his desk before turning and walking out, leaving my newest employee to ruminate on his life choices up till now.
“This seems like a risky idea,” Remus said to me as we walked out of the club.
“Should have just Obliviated the guy,” Sirius nodded.
“You two don’t understand what it’s like to grow up a Squib,” I replied as I got into the car. “For a taste of magic, we would do anything. For the opportunity to actually use it and show up the Pureblood who shunned us? He will be loyal. Of course, the contract’s magic will help, but I believe he will be an excellent new addition.”
“Still, working with a criminal…” Remus muttered.
“I’m not exactly thrilled either,” I admitted. “He did try and have me kidnapped, remember? But I’m willing to over look it. Not like he was the person who ordered it in the first place. He was just the middleman.”
Contacts in the underworld would be important, too, distasteful as it was. And Mikey was low enough on the totem pole that bringing him into the fold wouldn't disrupt anything.
“All we got was a name. Thorton,” Sirius pointed out.
“He’s probably a Muggle,” Remus mused thoughtfully. “If he were a Squib, I have a feel Mr. Fetters would have known. And a Wizard would just use magic to kidnap you himself.”
“Make sense,” I agreed, before sighing. “Ugh. I hate mysteries.”
Both men nodded in sympathy. Then, Sirius snapped his fingers.
“Oh! I almost forgot!” He rooted around in his pockets for something before removing… a newspaper clipping?
“‘Sirius Black Escapes Azkaban!’” I read aloud the headline, then blinked. “Holy shit, it finally happened?”
“I can’t believe it took them two months to realize you were missing!” Remus uttered with a shake of his head.
“I can,” I muttered, and Sirius nodded his head judiciously in agreement.
“Yeah, I’m officially a wanted fugitive!” the last Black declared proudly.
“Technically you’re a person of interest since you were never given a trial,” I replied. “But that probably doesn’t matter to the peons at the Ministry.”
“What’s the plan?” Remus asked while Sirius pouted and mumbled about ‘totally being a wanted fugitive if he wanted to be!’
“I think it’s time we send a letter to Harry, and ask him to get us in contact with Susan Bones. Hopefully she can get us into contact with her aunt,” I replied as we got into the car. “Although, when I say ‘we,’ I mean you, Mr. Werewolf.”
“What?” Remus exclaimed as I began to drive off.
“Remus, I can’t exactly talk with the Head of Magical Law Enforcement about, well, anything. At best she’d ignore me because I’m a Squib. At worst, she’d find out about what I’m doing, or not doing, regarding magical law,” I pointed out. “Neither can Sirius. You have to be the intermediary for this.”
“I expect a raise,” he grumbled, folding his arms but accepting his new task.
“You will get one,” I promised. “Anyways, I’m hungry. Who wants to stop for some fish and chips?”
“Oh! Oh! Me!” Sirius said, waving his hand like a child in the backseat.
“It’s a little early for lunch, but I suppose I could go with something like that,” Remus reluctantly agreed. “But not too much fast food! It’s unhealthy.”
“Yes, mom,” Sirius drawled, and while the other man spluttered, he leaned over to me. “He was like this back in Hogwarts too, ya know. Never understood why such a stickler for the rules hung out with two troublemakers like me and James.”
“Somebody had to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. Well, stupider,” Remus stated indignantly.
The two then began an argument about who had been more responsible for some of their deeds back in the day. I just snickered as I listened, amused by their antics. And a little bit surprised by just how many of the pranks the werewolf had been the instigator of.
It was nice. Only thing that would have been better would have been finding out who the hell tried to have me kidnapped!
‘Soon, though,’ I vowed to myself. ‘They won’t be able to hide forever!’
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Catherine Colin
Ooh a mystery on the horizon
