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A New Identity Every Week - Chapter 107: God on Earth! Diamond Superman?
🕑 Added 2025-10-20 12:07:15 +0000 UTCThe video was shot inside a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison.
“You have no right to arrest me! I want my freedom! I want a lawyer! I want to call my mom! Tell her I won’t be home for dinner tonight!”
Inside a specially made metal cage, a man in a skintight suit with a ridiculous mask shook the iron bars over and over.
Herman recognized him at a glance—Deadpool.
The Marvel Universe’s most notorious chatterbox.
Even Spider-Man would have to call him “bro.”
His shouting was loud enough to rattle the walls, but the way he shook the bars was weak, almost like he was putting on some kind of performance art.
Even locked up, the guy looked cheerful, going so far as to praise a male guard’s backside.
“You know what? Steve’s ass has nothing on yours! America’s ass? Please, that’s Photoshop magic!”
Deadpool reached a hand out toward the guard’s rear. The horrified officer immediately pulled out a stun baton and jabbed it into Deadpool without mercy.
“Oh! Yes! That’s it, baby! Don’t stop!”
Deadpool trembled under the shocks, but his voice was pure bliss. Anyone listening in might’ve thought something indecent was happening.
“You know about Steve’s ass too?”
Suddenly…
Nick Fury stepped into frame. He gestured for the guard to stop, then walked up to the bars.
“What the hell, Baldy! Bring that guy back! I need him! I’m not done yet!” Deadpool stuck his hand out, frantically grabbing at empty air.
But he wasn’t made of rubber. His arms weren’t stretching anywhere.
“He’s a pervert,” the guard muttered to Fury under his breath.
“Who’s the pervert?”
Deadpool froze for a beat.
Then he exploded. “You’re the pervert! Your whole family are perverts! All I wanted was to measure your hip size!”
Deadpool’s yelling was so loud Fury had to cover his ear. His frown said it all—he was wondering if Deadpool was completely insane.
“What does this have to do with me?”
Watching the feed, Herman was surprised to see Deadpool—but even more confused about why Fury suspected him because of this.
“Keep watching,” Fury said darkly.
He walked to a window and shouted down to the agents below to send up a burrito.
“Be patient. You’ll see why I came here. I don’t just wander around for fun.”
Fury explained while chewing into the burrito, still recovering from the earlier shock.
And truth be told?
His agents’ burritos tasted better than the ones from actual vendors. No wonder their stand seemed to be doing so well lately. At least with S.H.I.E.L.D. cafeteria supplies, he didn’t have to worry about food poisoning.
Fury sighed in reluctant admiration.
Then, his face hardened again.
“Goddamn freeloaders! They’re supposed to be on a mission! And they’re busy learning recipes? When the world ends, what are they gonna do, sell pancakes?!”
Fury’s irritation spiked again as he chewed.
“Maybe you should pull them back,” Herman suggested.
Since he now had Quicksilver running takeout for him, he didn’t care much for snacks anymore. After speaking, he turned back to watch the video closely.
Onscreen, Fury questioned Deadpool. “We found no record of you anywhere. So what are you—a freedom-chasing smuggler?”
A textbook interrogation move, trying to provoke him—and Deadpool took the bait instantly.
“Smuggler? That’s what you call Lord Deadpool? Ha! You don’t know shit! I’m just here to mess around in your world for a while!”
Deadpool shouted at Nick Fury, “Egghead! You’d better let me out, or Lord Deadpool will show you what cruelty really means!”
Fury didn’t flinch at the threat. Instead, he caught on to the most important part of Deadpool’s rant.
“Your world?”
His eyes flickered, his expression turning strange.
Herman figured Fury must have been thinking Deadpool was either insane—or that he’d stumbled onto someone extraordinary.
“Let me out! I was just running a little street stall, selling some local goods! I didn’t break a single law in your world!”
“No federal law in any universe prohibits a guy from running a stall!”
Deadpool started screaming for a better lawyer, naming none other than the blind Daredevil to defend him.
“He’s the best lawyer! I love him! I want to feed him bananas!” Deadpool yelled, spouting nonsense peppered with things far from family-friendly.
Fury’s face grew darker by the second.
“You know this man?”
Off-camera, Fury had been watching Herman closely. He noticed Herman showed no reaction to Deadpool’s twisted antics. Instead, there was a knowing look on his face—like he already expected Deadpool to show up.
As for the lunatic in the footage, Fury still didn’t know much even now. At first, he assumed the guy was just a mutant with a Healing Factor, like those two brothers who fought in WWII.
Maybe something had scrambled his brain. Agents reported his face was unrecognizable, likely scarred by some horrific ordeal. It wasn’t unusual for trauma to drive someone insane.
But…
A mere deranged mutant shouldn’t have known Daredevil was a blind lawyer. That was classified info within S.H.I.E.L.D.—not something that leaked easily.
And later, when Daredevil got involved with Herman, the info’s security level had been raised even higher.
That was why, back when the video was recorded, Fury had already realized the guy in the red suit wasn’t just another mutant.
Still, he never uncovered the truth about him. After all, what happened next was so absurd it left him speechless.
“I’ve never met him before. Only heard of him. Deadpool, Wade. Are your investigative methods really this lousy?” Herman’s expression turned suspicious again. Deadpool’s background shouldn’t have been hard to dig up.
Before his transformation, he’d been a mercenary, maybe even in the regular military. Any intelligence agency should have been able to trace him.
“He did tell us his name was Wade Wilson. We checked everyone tied to that name, every possible lead.”
“But... we found nothing. His name matches no records. No trace of his past life exists at all.”
Faced with Herman’s doubt, Fury gave a wry, helpless smile.
“So you’re saying that really is his name?”
Back when his subordinates reported no leads, Fury had chewed them out. But now, he was starting to believe Deadpool might’ve been telling the truth.
After all, with Asgard, Odin the All-Father, and even literal hell cropping up, the idea of beings from other worlds wasn’t so far-fetched. He was beginning to take Herman’s earlier words very seriously.
“Wade Wilson...”
Herman’s eyes narrowed. A wave of unease rippled inside him. He couldn’t tell if Deadpool’s claim was just coincidence.
“You’re saying your investigation turned up nothing? That in our world, there’s no trace of this man? Not even anyone else named Wade?”
Herman looked up at Fury, his expression deadly serious.
It made Fury’s stomach tighten. Even Odin hadn’t ever made this man look so grave.
“When it comes to the census, I believe S.H.I.E.L.D. is correct. There are over thirteen thousand people named Wade, but none match his description.”
Nick Fury stated with unwavering certainty.
“Not a single mercenary named Wade?”
Herman's eyes narrowed slightly—he sensed something amiss, beyond just the name Deadpool had mentioned earlier.
“Mercenary? No!”
Nick Fury's memory was sharp.
“Well, that's interesting.”
Herman’s eyes flickered with thought. A Marvel Universe with mutants, yet no trace of Deadpool, the ultimate trash-talker? He didn't believe Deadpool shared his own uniqueness.
“I don't understand your point. You mentioned hearing about this person, yet he doesn't exist in our world.”
Nick Fury furrowed his brow, his gaze fixed intently on Herman.
“If you have time, read more books. Learn about the Multiverse. Do you think we're the only ones not alone in the cosmos?”
Herman temporarily set aside Deadpool's peculiarities. “Our universe isn't alone either. Countless Parallel Universes coexist simultaneously.”
The sheer volume of information was overwhelming.
It took Nick Fury a long while to recover. He felt an immediate urge to resign.
Aliens, gods, and now Parallel Universes? He was just a sixty-something ordinary old man—how could he handle such mind-bending revelations?
“I'll look into it.”
Nick Fury recalled Deadpool's earlier ramblings. He'd had suspicions before, but now Herman had confirmed them.
That guy! Turns out he wasn't just a regular psychopath!
He was a psychopath from another world!
“You know about other universes too?” Nick Fury was more concerned with why Herman, standing before him, possessed such extensive knowledge of secrets.
“If you were on my level, you’d see none of this is really a secret. There are others out there who can travel across parallel universes.”
Herman smiled faintly. He lifted his glass, taking only a small sip.
“Take, for instance, this psychopath we captured named Wade?”
Nick Fury nodded.
“You must already doubt his story, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking me where he truly comes from.”
Herman felt he had grasped the situation.
However…
“It's because of what happened afterward.”
Nick Fury shook his head, gesturing for Herman to continue watching.
The video resumed.
He was facing Deadpool's ranting.
“Maybe you really are from another world, but I doubt selling human organs on the street was legal where you came from.”
Nick Fury's voice exposed Deadpool's true business.
Herman's eye twitched at the sight. No wonder Deadpool ended up in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s custody—seriously, who’d actually buy that stuff if he just pulled it out and sold it?
“None of your damn business! It's my own heart! My own liver! My own dick! I'll sell whatever I want!”
“...Do you have any idea how hard it is to make money? That damn sorcerer! Total scumbag! He swindled every last penny out of me and ran off!”
“What God is in this world! Bullshit!” Deadpool's voice carried a hint of hysteria, leaving Herman feeling both amused and exasperated.
Good grief. Deadpool, as always.
Herman had assumed Deadpool was just peddling kidneys, but selling his heart and manhood? Only he could pull off something like that.
The mention of God piqued Herman’s interest—perhaps the skyfather? But who was this con sorcerer Deadpool spoke of?
A cascade of questions surged in his mind as Herman patiently continued watching. His curiosity about why Nick Fury suspected him only deepened.
In the video, Deadpool kept protesting relentlessly. He even started trash-talking Nick Fury, exposing numerous embarrassing childhood stories about him.
The insults were so brutal Nick Fury couldn't help but yell, “Motherfucker!”
“Enough! Shut up!”
Nick Fury barked at Deadpool.
“I have no interest in your street-corner business. If you don’t want to end up as a test subject, then don’t get on my nerves!”
The words had barely left Fury’s mouth when—Deadpool grew even more excited.
“A test subject? Not bad, not bad! I’ve got years of professional experience! With certification, too!” He suddenly pulled a wrinkled document from his back pocket.
[Test Subject Certification: Holder has many years of experience serving as a test subject, with extensive expertise cooperating in all manner of inhumane experiments.]
Beneath the fake document was even a full price list.
Nick Fury had seen a lot in his life, but the Deadpool in that video still managed to shake him with this absurd stunt.
“You didn’t search him?” Fury turned back in disbelief.
“We did! We cleared him out completely...” The prison guards looked utterly baffled.
“Hahaha! Bet you didn’t see that coming, huh? Deadpool’s got summoning powers—I can summon whatever I want! Tick me off, and I’ll bring in a bald, purple Mad Titan right here!” His smug grin made it impossible to tell if he was joking or dead serious.
“What’s this bald purple Mad Titan he’s talking about?”
Off-screen, Nick Fury’s instincts told him Deadpool’s words weren’t so simple.
“Just some old man who preaches family planning and dreams of retiring to farm,” Herman replied lightly, choosing not to say anything that might rattle Fury further.
“Really?”
Nick Fury couldn’t shake the feeling Herman was hiding something.
But then again, it didn’t feel like he was lying either... and if Herman wasn’t willing to explain, pressing him wouldn’t get anywhere.
In the video, Fury also asked Deadpool about this so-called purple mad titan. Deadpool just chuckled slyly, offering no real answer.
At that moment—
“Director... we can’t keep the Homelander incident under wraps any longer.”
Agent Hill, her sharp features tight with tension, strode into the prison to report.
On the tablet in her hands, footage played from Tony Stark’s gala, showing the attack that had been broadcast live worldwide.
The look on Fury’s face soured instantly, a complete reversal from the expression he’d worn in Herman’s office earlier.
“Motherfucker!” He spat out his trademark curse.
“Which goddamn journalist leaked this?! Damn it...” Fury was about to explode when a cheeky voice sounded right beside him—
Close enough to whisper in his ear.
“What do you mean ‘Homelander’? Isn’t he Superman? Don’t try to fool me! I recognize that outfit! He’s definitely Muscle-Bro Superman!”
“Superman crossing universes? This Superman must’ve leveled up into Diamond Superman! Diamond’s stronger than gold, right?”
Somehow, Deadpool had slipped out of his cell without anyone noticing and was now standing right next to Fury.
At this, Herman’s pupils shrank sharply.
Not because of Deadpool’s escape trick, but because of the sheer weight of what he’d just said—words that sent shockwaves through Herman’s mind.
Deadpool... knew Superman?
